DONT DO THIS TO ME MAN

plz dont ignore this

hey would u guys still support me if i changed account and au? i have a rly cool au planned (it was going to be for a story but i like it as an ask blog too + i can make smol stories and all) and this blog is rly starting to get boring for me as you can see the lack of drawings so yeah… please tell me and dont just ignore this post. im asking for your opinions. im still unsure so just tell me ur point of view on it (dont say “do what u want” bc i dun kno what i want man!!! thats the point of asking!)
i kno i already changed my account before and im rly thankful u guys stayed with me but ;-// u kno

anonymous asked:

Are you even native American

Hello nosey nonnie.

Yes I am Native American, but I don’t look it. And no it’s not one of those my great grandmother was Cherokee. I am 2nd generation off the rez Tuscarora, Iroquois Turtle Clan.

This is me and my mother. Yes she is my birth mother, I just got very fucked over in the genes department. I swear I’m adopted but we have many photos of the birth and have several paternity and maternity tests to prove that I fell out of this woman’s vagina.

Here are some more pictures cause I’m pale and I honestly don’t think you believe me:

(My mom actually made every piece of jewelry I am wearing and hand beaded that vest as well).

And here’s pictures of the woman that I blame for my bad genes: My grandmother.

I get told I look like her all the time AND I HONESTLY DO NOT SEE IT, but because I get told I look like her all the time I BLAME HER.

On the left you see my grandpa (full blood native) in his headdress, on the right you see my cousin (also full blood), the great medicine man Mad Bear, here’s a book about him since you seem to be so nosey.

And in case you doubted me, here are a few pictures of me when my ma and I were on the powwow circuit.

This is me with my ma’s regalia (if you call it a costume I will shank you) because a) she had a bad leg day and couldn’t dance and b) mine was not ready and made and I JUST REALLY WANTED TO DANCE. (This is also the day I got burnt ON MY FUCKING HAIRLINE WHERE MY HAIR WAS PARTED. THAT FUCKING HURTS!)

Here’s me in my fancy dance shawl. There aren’t that many pictures of me because a) I fucking hated them b) it’s normally seen as disrespectful to take pictures of dancers out of the circle without their permission and my ma and I were always dancing at the same times AND I NEVER LET ANYONE TAKE MY PICTURE AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE.

So yes, my family is a very rainbow family, I just happen to be the one WHITE passing one. No really…

Here’s me (in the middle if you can’t guess), Bebe and Audree. I like to call this the ABC Rainbow of the Printup family (because my first name is Cheyenne…..I swear our parents DID NOT PLAN THIS). 

And this is another pic of me and Audree YEARS later

Am I Native? Yes

Do I look traditionally Native? No

Does that mean I am not going to label myself as native? HELL TO THE FUCK NO.

Please reblog and share so that people can understand that there are white passing people of color. Yes even some that pass as white as me. We do exist and no that does not give you the right to basically white wash us. I am proud of my native roots and I will share everything and anything you want to know. The more educational resources we can get out there the better. DON’T BE AFRAID TO SHOOT ME AN ASK. I LOVE IT, but please do not be a dick like this one and phrase it so accusingly. Much appreciated, thank you!

CAN I JUST SAY THAT HARRY COULDVE WENT THE TYPICAL SOLO STAR ROUTE LIKE HE COULDVE CAME OUT ALL DARK AND MYSTERIOUS AND HALF NAKED WEARING LEATHER WITH WOMEN DRIPPING ALL OVER HIM AND HE COULDVE WENT AGAINST THE BAND AND HE COULDVE BECOME THE ROCKSTAR EVERYONE ALWAYS WANTED HIM TO BE BUT INSTEAD HES JUST HIMSELF, ALL PINK AND FLAMBOYANT AND DORKY AND EVERYTHING IS PRETTY AND BRIGHT AND HES LIKE, “HERE I AM, LOVE ME THE WAY I AM OR DONT LOVE ME AT ALL” AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM MY STRONG BABY THIS IS THE SAME MAN WHO CRIED ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID ABOUT HIM !!! LOOK AT HIM NOW !!! IM SO PROUD !!!!!!! LOOK AT HIM !!!!!! HES DOING THAT !!!!!!!!

me: man being mentally ill sux

me: *sees recovery resources*

me

3

terrible tiny man/ dinosaur. i hate this. this probably isn’t canon but it is in my heart.

Ruining the mystery/First thing taught in Paladin school

So during my first dnd campaing, which was Castlevania based, I was playing Paladin of the Church, which led to the following bit, just as we entered the castle:

Dm: …And to the left, you see a hooded man sitting on a flying carpet, playing a gold fiddle

Ranger: I go to say “Hi, Im Kaito, who are you and what are you doing here?”

Mysterious hooded: Hello there travelers, we dont get many visitors around these parts, my name is Light and I’m but a simp-

Me,half jokingly half serious: Oh, hey nice to meet you Lucifer, kinda surprise you’re here.

DM: ……….so the man just sighs, and reveals himself as Lucifer, former prince of darkness, and former ruler of castlevania

Warlord: Wait doesn’t he have to roll or something to know?

DM: He’s a Paladin of the Church, The first thing they teach you in paladin school is about Lucifer, that it means Beautiful Light and his betrayal……There was going to be this whole bit of his identity being revealed later, but that’s scrapped.

Me: Well you shouldn’t have named him Light and given him a golden fiddle

 And that is how Lucifer joined us in our adventure to defeat Dracula

I just did a Quickie with Oqwan ( @aguydrawsgames ‘s operative) and Carter.

After we briefly chatted about agenty music from the U.N.C.L.E. Soundtrack….and so..

It kinda got me going on that.

-cue blowy flute agenty music-

How Dan and Phil probably broke up #23
  • Dan: Phil you left all the cupboard doors open again
  • Phil: godDANit
Sugar bowl facts

After couple of years sugaring this is what I’ve observed regarding SD/SB sites

-what I’ve recently read and which is 100% accurate, anyone worth of knowing won’t be in such sites. Full. Stop.

-most of men that have profiles are in best case upper middle class guys. You won’t find a multimillionaire sitting behind his computer chasing girls online. Would you? I wouldn’t. Reality is all of true rich men have access to upscale bars, clubs, restaurants, country clubs, lounges where they can meet dozens of beautiful women, DAILY. In worst case he will book a girl trough established agency (his assistant will) if he is more of an introvert or has no time for socializing.

-top income on these site is NOT above 200k after taxes. And majority of those men are MARRIED, which means his wife has access to his cards/accounts and has knowledge of his financial behavior, do you think she won’t be suspicious if all of a sudden large amounts start missing from his account? Of course she will. Other are divorced with couple of kids, which means ALIMONY. So don’t expect mind blowing amounts spent on you.

-if he offers out of the blue 10k + apartment + car, most likely it is a SCAM. In order a man to be eligible for such spending on someone else his income should be at least 700-800k after taxes. In average, a man won’t spend more than 20% of his income on you. How do y'all think a man who earns 200k-300k will just drop half of his money on you? He also has daily/monthly/yearly expenses of his own. He’ll just go broke because of you? NO. Be realistic.

-there probably is one who is able to spend such amounts on you as mentioned above but finding him on these sites would be a pure luck. Like jackpot once in a blue moon.

-if he doesn’t discuss your allowance and what exactly he can offer in first few messages, he is probably not a legitimate SD, or just a Splenda most likely salt. A real SD knows the game. Don’t fall for that “make me a proposal/offer”. That’s BS.

-if he only offers to communicate via Skype he is almost sure a SCAM. Never settle for this type of communication, either he can video call via Viber or FaceTime. Say you don’t use Skype. Not negotiable.

-if he isn’t ready to provide his photos in first few exchanged texts, DROP him. There is no valid excuse for this. Unless he is on Forbes 100. Or running a Fortune 500 company. Which isn’t close to impossible. Always choose video call over exchanging photos. (What i recently witnessed was a man who sent me photos of a dead US businessman, he probably thought if we are from Europe I won’t know this) -luckily there is google image search

-ALWAYS and I repeat always try with google reverse image search. Also look up his number.

-if he refuses to tell you his full name there is a good reason behind it, a BAD one. Leave him.

-Under NO circumstances negotiate the sexual part of an arrangement, he exactly knows what he will be getting. You get the “dos and donts ” question, block him, real SD never asks such questions over the phone.

-make sure you discuss about his stated budget. Ask if those are his spending habits or he would be actually willing to spend that on you. Does that include only your allowance or it includes all of the monthly expenses he would have regarding you (e.g. Trips, dinners, gifts, shopping sprees etc)

-don’t be shy to ask anything you want to know prior to your meet, if you have any doubts or unclear stuff, ASK.

-if you are traveling/flying out to meet him make sure all of your transportation/flight tickets/hotel room is paid in full, IN ADVANCE, with email confirmation of the receipts which are NON REFUNDABLE. He can always cancel your hotel booking for example.

-if he asks you to fly out but to buy your own tickets and he’ll reimburse you when you meet, NEVER do this!!! Real SD would never ever propose such situation, or he will send you money prior to your meet so you can purchase it, if he doesn’t want it to be shown on his credit card.

-always bring your own money to a pot date, no matter if it’s just a coffee date or dinner or flying over to other city/country. Remember, he can walk out on you any time and leave you out to dry. Imagine if you don’t like him really and need to for example take another room, take your ticket earlier, take a taxi home etc, possibilities are endless. Make sure you are SAFE regarding funds.

-NEVER send more than 4 photos (2 showing your face and upper body and two showing your body from different angles/poses) any of these men asking for more are pic collectors. Whenever you can choose a video call over exchanging photos.

-if you meet him and he looks different than his photos LEAVE immediately. EVACUATE. Code RED. You think he is providing something substantial if he can’t even provide a proper photo of himself? NO.

-Never ever agree to unprotected sex. No excuses are valid enough. Even though you are in a long term arrangement he probably is seeing other women too. Unless he’ll provide you a STD check (HIV, HPV, HEP a, b, c too) not older than 48h prior to your rendezvous, from a clinic you personally chose. Medical checks, reports can be forged.

-make sure that you first get your end before giving him his part of the bargain. FIRST THE MONEY THEN THE HONEY. No peep shows, no trial periods, no compatibility checks. You see a meal you never tried in a restaurant, decided to order from the menu, you didn’t really like it, yet you still have to pay for it? YES.

-Do not fall for the first man that texts you, sugaring REQUIRES patience and practice.

-Do not settle for exclusivity unless all of your monthly expenses are fully covered plus there is spending money left, and enough for at least a month if he drops you out of the blue. Don’t think you will ever be his one and only.

-When he says NO DRAMA in his profile text that means no drama from you, not from him. No PROs or ESCORTs means he can’t afford one or he can’t afford to be screened, because he has something to hide - something BAD.

-if he is not able to meet in few days after your initial conversation he is most likely a TIME WASTER, or if he books you a ticket and not confirm two three days before the actual meet do not go, unless you want a free trip and have an interest of your own visiting that place.

-if he offers less than a 5* hotel accommodation, drop that cheap ass, he probably is just a SALT.

-when he states most important things for him are connection and affection he has no intention of compensating for your time.

-there is no UPPER age limits for being a sugar baby, you think he wouldn’t date J-Lo ? Yes he would but he can’t afford it! When guy says he prefers very young girls it’s because he knows they are easier to trick and have lack of experience.

-REMEMBER: if something is too good to be true it’s because it usually is. Don’t fall for words, SEEING is BELIEVING.

-if he somehow gets uncomfortable when getting a bill in the restaurant or makes comments on prices or starts making a face, never see him again, no real SD will make a comment over couple of bucks. If possible, check how much he tipped the waiter.

-if he says along the way he isn’t into luxury and prefers something more humble/down to earth, leave that mofo, YOU ARE a LUXURY.

-if he is too demanding compared to what he is providing, he is actually using you, do not fall for that (ask for way to many photos/text exchange etc)

Always keep this small reminder in your head.

Happy sugaring!!!

why rick and evie are perfect

evie? evy? find some continuity, mummy franchise

in the mummy:

  • literally they begin with evie saving his life, like this ship began with girl saves boy and rick admits that’s the entire reason he goes on the adventure at all
  • lots of longing gazes
  • bANTER BANTER BANTER BANTER THE ONLY THING THAT SCARES ME MR O’CONNELL ARE YOUR MANNERS
  • the formal way they address each other, “mr o’connell” “evelyn”
  • TEAMWORK!!!!! ships that work together as a team are legit wonderful 
  • basically every little thing evie does that wouldn’t be considered “becoming” for a woman at that time, rick is very into. racing a camel? rick is down. describe mummification with gross specifics? rick is very into it.
  • and then he steals nice tools for her which is basically the most romantic thing you could give evelyn carnahan as a present
  • “i… am a librarian” rick is aroused
  • when he helps her off the ground and very gently checks to make sure she isnt hurt and basically casually holds her like wtf kind of romantic bullshit is this
  • rick loses his shit any time evie might get hurt
  • like they have to hOLD HIM BACK when she goes with imhotep
  • “if they make me a mummy you’re the first one i’m coming after”
  • THEY ALWAYS HOLD HANDS WHEN RUNNING AWAY FROM DANGER
  • their kiss has a smiley NOSE RUB like kill me i hate them
  • they cuddle on a fucking camel

in the mummy returns:

  • A MARRIED SHIP THAT HAS BEEN TOGETHER FOR TEN YEARS, HAS A CHILD, AND IS STILL COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FULL OF LOVE AND SUPPORT
  • like these assholes have been together for a decade and still make out constantly
  • WHEN THEY DEFEAT THE MUMMIES ON THE BUS LEGIT EVIE CROOKS HER DAMN FINGER AT HIM LIKE THEY ARE SO TURNED ON BY ALMOST DYING THAT IS BASICALLY THEIR KINK
  • they compromise and still work as a team so well!! they know when to do it evie’s way and when to do it rick’s way
  • like he hands her a gun and she nods and they basically practice how to fight at home right? they have to. they choreograph this shit.
  • they still banter and tease each other and it is full of so much fucking affection, gag me now
  • THEY JUST LIKE HOLD EACH OTHER A LOT ITS LOVELY
  • i dont support evie’s temporary death but also brendan fraser is literally the only man actually acting in that scene and it hurts my heart to even consider rick living without evie like that man thinks screaming AHHH at mummies will make a difference, how would he even function
  • just like a lot of hardcore risking their lives for each other
  • “do you want to know what heaven looks like?” “nope would rather make out on this blimp pls”

those are the only two mummy movies nothing else exists sorry

The Signs as ÷ Lyrics

Aries - She is the flint that sparks the lighter, and the fuel that will hold the flame // Hearts Don’t Break Around Here

Taurus - Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but ain’t nobody love you like I do // Happier

Gemini - You know we are made up of love and hate, but both of them are balanced on a razor blade // What Do I Know

Cancer - Offered up my shoulder just for you to cry upon; gave you constant shelter and a bed to keep you warm. They gave me the heartache and in return I gave a song // Save Myself

Leo - Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know. She shares my dreams; I hope that someday I’ll share her home // Perfect

Virgo - Someone told me always say what’s on your mind, and I am only being honest with you, I get lonely and make mistakes from time to time // Bibia Be Ye Ye

Libra - I never worried about the king and crown ‘cause I found my heart upon the southern ground // Nancy Mulligan

Scorpio - I walked her home then she took me inside, finish some Doritos and another bottle of wine // Galway Girl

Sagittarius - I fell in love with the sparkle in the moonlight reflected in your beautiful eyes. I guess that is destiny doing it right // Barcelona

Capricorn - I guess if you were Lois Lane, I wasn’t superman: just a young boy trying to be loved // New Man

Aquarius - You’re a mystery; I have travelled the world, and there’s no other girl like you, no one // Dive

Pisces - I’ll be taking my time, spending my life falling deeper in love with you. So tell me that you love me too // How Would You Feel (Paean)

book aesthetics: girls reading v2: woc (x)

angst is lit and all but one of my favorite things is domestic future fics! give me 27 year old lance being captured bc he had a space cold and wasnt at the top of his game and is all chained and just sighs like “jesus fucking CHRIST am i gonna get roasted when they come rescue me who eve gets captured anymore smh keith is gonna kill me i dont want his passive aggressive post capture cuddles” 

or when they find a new place to go to and it’s a rocky planet and shiros like “oh man we better keep hunk back we don’t want his rock kink to come out :/” shiro’s a SAVAGE even at 35

they visit their families and have a bigass dinner and their fams are like :/? i do not understand?? bc they have their own ‘been together in space figting aliens for 10 years’ language

they still ROAST keith for I CRADLED YOU IN MY ARMS!!! klance are cuddling and it’s 6 am and it’s space mall day and they have a few more hours before it’s time to leave and they’re chillin and lanc just whispers “we’re having a bonding moment! im cradling you in my ArMs!” and keith punches him ://

also coran being really weird? but still sweet and as a lil 18 year old baby lance confesses he feels like a 7th wheel and coran is :/? wat that Mean?? and when lance explains coran builds a vehicle that needs 7 wheels exactly and pidge helped bc she didnt fucking know and coran is so PROUD when e presents it… that 9 years later they still use it for going around in the castle and lance is :’) when he sees it (and keith gets rly sappy with him)

matt stays with them (sam goes home) bc he wants to be there for shiro and pidge and they’re so cute together and allura liked shir but seeing him with matt made her really happy (she has a princess gf or something) and lance and matt compete over who’s a cuter couple (it’s a tie bc shiro and matt play dirty but keith is so sappy but also doesn’t know that there’s a competition)

the foxes as scottish tweets
  • dan wilds: group chats are brilliant man, one minute yer slagging some poor cunt off n the next yer aw trying tae solve the meaning ae life
  • kevin day: would honestly rather look at multiple pictures ae somecunts cock than their baby photos #nohomo
  • andrew minyard: "u canny hate someone forever" aye a can watch me
  • matt boyd: do u no just look at your pals and wonder how theyve made it this far in life and how stupidity hasny killed them yet
  • aaron minyard: dinny understand young cunts wantin kids man, just buy a playstation, theyre cheaper an ye dinny get the jail if ye chuck it oot the windae
  • allison reynolds: dont get people moaning about folk being spoiled, as if you'd be like naw Da you keep that BMW, al get the bus coz am an independent woman
  • nicky hemmick: a feel like such a catfish when ppl like my pic from the night before n am lyin half deed in bed with a junkie bun n a face full a sudocrem
  • renee walker: thy type of people who say shit like "girls over ___ weight shouldnt post selfies" are an actual human bollock
  • neil josten: "huvin one of they days" aye right man am huvin one of they lives
steal the toaster

in which i try and fail to be as good as @jiilys and @alrightpotter

James Potter to whoever stole my weetabix is dead: WE ARE OUT OF MILK

James Potter: I MADE TEA AND WENT TO THE FRIDGE AND IT WAS GONE

James Potter: IM LITERALLY CRYIGN THIS IS A DISASTER

Sirius Black: chill

Sirius Black: might have been me this morning though

Peter Pettigrew: did u hv it with weetabix by any chance???

Sirius Black: …..

Sirius Black: shit


Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: do you reckon he’ll accept cornflakes?

Remus Lupin: kellogs ones?

Sirius Black: wtf no lidl ones

Sirus Black: do I look like im made of money

Remus Lupin: well yes

Sirius Black: rude


Sirius changed the name to: next doors wifi is dragon420

Remus Lupin: how did you…?

Remus Lupin: acc I don’t want to know

James Potter: omg bc they BLAZE IT

Sirius Black: omg

Peter Pettigrew: omg


Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: where r u we’re going pub

James Potter: in the library

James Potter: there’s this chem girl

James Potter: she’s so pretty

James Potter: pete?

James Potter: ???


Sirius Black to LADSLADSLADS: new business idea

Sirius Black: james sells jams in his pyjamas

Sirius Black: we can call it

Sirius Black: jim jams

Remus Lupin has left the group


James Potter to three normal ppl + fucking romeo: she came and asked to borrow my pen today !!!

James Potter: out of the whole library!!! she picked me !!!

James Potter: what does this mean???

Sirius Black removed James Potter from the group

Peter Pettigrew: oh thank god


Remus Lupin to James Potter: why have you called me fourteen times???

James Potter: oh pete fell out the window but hes fine

Remus Lupin: whAT???

Remus Lupin: I WAS GONE TWENTY MINUTES

James Potter: on a completely unrelated matter would you say forgetting your name was a sign of concussion?


Lily Evans to James Potter: congrats on winning the match, you were really good


James Potter to no Sirius we’re not going skinny dipping its 4 degrees: HELP

James Potter sent a photo

James Potter: WHAT DO I SAY????

Sirius Black: be ~cool~

Peter Pettigrew: ignore her, girls love it when you ignore them

Sirius Black: mate…. maybe this is why youre a virgin

Peter Pettigrew: for the last time im NOT A VIRGIN

Sirius Black: idk sounds like smth a virgin would say


Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: if my mum rings the flat say im not there

James Potter: but youre not here…?

Peter Pettigrew: she believs u when u say it


Remus Lupin to pineapple is never acceptable on pizza fight me sirius: new drinking game- take a shot whenever james mentions lily’s eyes

Sirius Black: do you want us to die????

James Potter: but guys

James Potter: theyre so green

James Potter: its like a forest

Peter Pettigrew: ill buy some vodka omw back


James Potter changed the group name to: MAN U 4-CHELSEA 1

Sirius Black: blocked


Sirius Black to sirius and co: dont go near the microwave btw

Peter Pettigrew: …….why????

Sirius Black: its lowkey broken

Sirius Black: and by lowkey i mean will kill a man

Remus Lupin: I swear to god if we call the fire service again we’re getting fined

Sirius Black: its fine im gonna steal benjys


Remus Lupin to Benjy Fenwick: Just a quick heads up, maybe hide your microwave

Benjy Fenwick: I already did after black stole my toaster

Remus Lupin: ah sorry about that


Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: you told me benjy didn’t want his toaster anymore

Sirius Black: idk how youre studying astrophysics if you believed tht tbh


Sirius Black to moony ripped a new fiver im so proud: saw evans today

James Potter: omg did she mention me?

Sirius Black: she wanted to know if we were fucking

James Potter: what did you say???

Sirius Black: yes obvisly

James Potter: aw babe

Remus Lupin: get a room


James added Sirius Black and Lily Evans to the group: just to clarify me and sirius are not fucking

Sirius Black: exCUSE ME???

Sirius Black: DID U JST DUMP ME BY GROUP NAME????

Sirius Black: HOW WILL I EVER GET OVER THIS BETRAYAL

Lily Evans: james how could you?

James Potter: …. are you serious

Sirius Black: …..

James Potter: don’t you fucking dare


Sirius Black to James Potter: come and help me buy 150 snickers for bellatrix

James Potter: nah im in history

James Potter: isn’t she allergic to nuts

Sirius Black: exactly


Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: lily just asked if she can sit w/ us at james’s final

Sirius Black: oh mY GOD

Sirius Black: operation lames is go

Remus Lupin: I told you not to call it that

Sirius Black: it’s a gd name #hatersgonnahate

Remus Lupin: please stop


Peter Pettigrew to potter for president: afterparty at ours right?

Sirius Black: hell yes

Sirius Black: proud of you jamesy


Sirius Black changed to the group name to: WHY THE FRICKETY FRACK IS EVANS IN THE KITCHEN IN JAMES’S FOOTBALL SHIRT?????

James Potter: she cant walk around naked can she?

TFP characters as dril tweets
  • Optimus Prime: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Ratchet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • Bumblebee: 1st grade: Mastered. 2nd Grade: MAstered. 3rd Grade: Mastered. 4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you 5th Grade:This ones hard
  • Arcee: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian
  • Bulkhead: i fear my tropical fish no longer respect me after i accidetnally stumbled backwards & smushed my ass hole right up against their $3000 tank
  • Wheeljack: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Cliffjumper: priest plugs my coffin in at the end of the funeral. “MILLERTIME” lights up in neon on the side, desecrating my corpse & sending me to hell
  • Smokescreen: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler out of the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Ultra Magnus: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
  • Jack: yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
  • Raf: downloading shit loads of counterfeit papa john coupons through unsecure wifi net works
  • Miko: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • Jane Darby: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Fowler: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to stop tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Megatron: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Stascream: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Soundwave: im the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of pro wrestling ads. i make $85k a year. but i have a secret *removs shades to reveal nipple eyes
  • Knockout: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Breakdown: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
  • Arachnid: i will tell you this right now: I'm from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
  • Shockwave: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Predaking: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • Dreadwing: (the trolls watch in astonishment as the milk shake they threw at me flawlessly bounces off of my head wwith minimal pain and mess involved)
  • Unicron: *all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird