DON'T-DENY

MC: I’ve heard rumors that this club room is haunted. Apparently some girl was deleted here when she was, like, nine or something.

Natsuki, disembodied voice emanating from the ceiling: I’m sixteen so shut the fuck up.

Incorrect responses to getting stabbed with a sword

Scout: rude

Soldier: mission accomplished

Sniper: cursey mccurse words

Pyro: shinyyyyyy

Medic: thats fair

Spy: not again

Engineer: why

Heavy: why not

Demoman:

Demoman: so do I get to keep it or

headcanon that one time Tim (As Robin) said to Batman “oh sure, you trust me to save Gotham but I’m too irresponsible to have a dog” and it was caught on tape. The media blows this up out of proportion and suddenly every villain and citizen of Gotham is mad at Batman because why the Fuck won’t he get poor Robin a dog?

A building is on fire and Batman is trying to save people who are stopping him to demand that Robin have a pet. People begin protests with the hashtag of #batdog and start a funding page. People try to secretly give Robin puppies when Batman isn’t around. People angrily line the streets the few times Batman is seen at public gatherings with signs reading “kicks puppies” and “animal hater.” When Robin announces the fact he no longer wants a dog, everyone accuses Batman of forcing Robin to say that (which is true.) It becomes a joke within the League. “Superman, go help Green Lantern on the east coast.” “Only if you get Robin a dog first.” Somehow the media gets every single picture in the past of Robin petting or holding a dog. People boycott all Batman merchandise.

Finally, Batman gives in. He makes a show of giving Robin a small puppy. Photos are taken. Batman becomes the most beloved superhero. Bruce Wayne coincidentally gets a new dog himself in honor of the blessed day Robin finally won the war. Peace is restored. Tim will brag about this for decades to come.

Houses When They Have A Crush
  • Gryffindor: Totally challenges their crush in everything (debates, sports, etc) and tries to initiate some "unresolved sexual tension" (wink wink)
  • Hufflepuff: Becomes their best friend and hopes their crush falls in love with them along the way (pretty hard not to, since they always have hugs and food and love)
  • Ravenclaw: Have a way with words (witty remarks, bad puns, sexual innuendos) and leaves their crush wondering if the sexual undertones were intentional (they are)
  • Slytherin: Stealthily takes pics of them and proceeds to send them to their best friends while freaking out (while keeping up the cool and uncaring facade on the outside)