1. Birthday Twerks and Jokes.

22 years ago.

“Just one more push, Miss… Please! The baby is stuck!”, the midwife explained.

“Aah I can’t! Just get her out please!!!! I can’t do this anymore!”

As the mother was trying to push once more, the baby at last was out. Though something was wrong because she was an alarming blue. Her breathing stopped entirely, her heart rate fell, and the nursery doctors rushed to resuscitate the infant baby girl. In the other corner of the room, the mother was losing mass amounts of blood. Blood was filling the sheets and drips were spreading across the floor as the red liquid soaked the doctors shoes. Continuous beeping from the heart monitor became a single tone. There was a knock on the door, a man appeared from behind it with flowers in his hand. As he looked at his wife, his smile fell to a frown filled with emptiness and sorrow. He dropped the flowers and immediately ran to her side. As he sobbed, he glanced up and noticed a crying baby girl swaddled up in the nurses arms. He felt the feeling of anger and hate. To him this was not his child, it was something that just caused his wife to die.

BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! At 7am the alarm has woken you from this repeating nightmare. It reminds you of how your life was a disaster from the beginning. Mother died during childbirth and your father gave you up to the system shortly after. You were in and out of foster homes until you were old enough to leave. After that it was the streets, friends houses, boyfriends, whoever would take you in. Until now you were finally becoming content with your life. As you stretch out in your bed, you just remembered that it’s officially the last day of cosmetology school, you’re off from work today and it’s your 22nd birthday. Finally finished getting dolled up for your big day, you walk out of your room to      balloons all over the apartment.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Y/N)!!!! We’re soooo getting fucked up! Ohhh and I heard that boss man AKA future boo thang’s going to be at the club tonight!“, Audrey says.

You try to hide your huge blushing smile, ”he’s not my boo thang…….. That’s baby daddy…..“

When you first met Audrey, it was a done deal. BFF’s at first sight. She knows you had a bad childhood so on your birthdays she tries to make you feel extra special. The club that you all work at was not just any club, this was the place that had the entry line going all the way down the block. It was also a strip club but you were just a cocktail waitress. You didn’t have the confidence like Audrey to take off your clothes. The night was approaching fast, you wanted to look good, you wanted to look mouth watering. You found the sexiest dress and cutest heels in your closet. As you were waiting for Audrey to finish getting ready, you started to become even more excited but also anxious. You were seeing him tonight, Joker. He was the boss of the club but it’s been awhile since you’ve seen him, supposedly he was locked away in Arkham Asylum. You’ve always seen him on the news about being a psychotic killer but everything about him was so sexy. The way he dressed, his face, his green slick back hair, tattoos or was it that he was a dangerous bad boy type that everyone warned you about.

Originally posted by kane52630

When you arrived at the club, valet opens your car doors and offers you a hand. Walking passed the line you were already getting stares from the Jokers henchmen.

“Eat your heart out”, you thought to yourself and smirked.

“Happy birthday sweetheart! You girls look beautiful! Be safe tonight, Jokers already inside.” David says. David was the clubs bouncer, he was a big guy but to you guys he was just a big teddy bear.

“Thank you David!!!” You both cried out.

As you walk in, it’s very crowded tonight. Strobe lights, blaring bass that makes the room shake, dancing bodies tangled together, the strippers are sliding up and down the poles, and then you see him. He’s in the VIP section doing business with other Gotham gangsters. You keep your eyes on him while Audrey drags you over to the bar.

Charli your favorite bartender hooks you up all the time, “what will it be tonight ladies?”

Audrey says, “vodka for me and the birthday girl!”

Originally posted by arewesoberyet

Charli, “Happy Birthday (Y/N)!!!!” You guys look fucking fabulous by the way! Have you guys noticed hottie in VIP?“

(Y/N) “Thank you! Of course who hasn’t noticed him!” You laughed with Audrey.

Charli, “Apparently his guys broke him out, he’s on the run right now and he’s HERE!”

Audrey, “yeah so (Y/N), you need to make your move tonight!!!!”

“The DJ is giving you a shout out soon. That should get Jokers attention…”, Charli says as she hands you the drinks along with the various amounts of shots.

The more alcohol that you drank, made everything spin. You were having the time of your life dancing on the bar with Audrey. You noticed Joker check you out a couple times and it made your panties moisten. You couldn’t believe that this guy had such an effect on you and you craved more.

Originally posted by tiestoblog

The DJ turns down the music, the bright lights are on you, “can I have everyone’s attention please, I’d like to make a special shout out to (Y/N)!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL! Why don’t you get on that pole and show us what you got!”

Originally posted by thisgirlisunderconstruction

Your heart dropped to your stomach, you glanced over at joker and he was definitely watching. You wanted to impress him with your skills that Audrey had been teaching you. The DJ played Gangsta by Kehlani as you jumped on the pole and twirled yourself around it. You slow twerked up and down in front of the crowd. You made sure to make eye contact with Joker for as long as you could. Guys started crowding your pole area, throwing money and wanting you to strip. When the song ended, men in suits helped you down from the stage, one of them said, “Hey sweet thing, I’m Jonny, the boss requests your presence in VIP, I’m afraid you cannot refuse.”

This was it, this was your moment. Your eyes scattered around looking for Audrey. You found her with a really cute guy on the dance floor, you smiled being happy for her. As the henchmen led you to VIP, Joker was sitting alone.

Originally posted by grysamobojcow

Jonny holds his arm out as he introduces the boss, “(Y/N) this is Joker”

You looked at the gorgeous man in awe, you had to snap out of it. You’re actually feeling very shy but also extremly turned on.

Joker, “hello there pretty, I couldn’t help but notice that you were shaking your ass for me?”

Mmmmmm anything for you baby…”, you thought to yourself.

Originally posted by penultimxte

“Maybe I was…”, you replied to Joker.

Part 2

Part 3

Aesthetic - Clara Oswald

HEY LOOK IT’S NOT HARRY POTTER! I actually really love this aesthetic and also Clara is such a babe I love her so much omg

I really like lighter colour schemes for my aesthetics at the moment (dunno why I just do), so I really like how this one turned out. I LOVE the collar on the top right - I love tops with collars anyway - and also the image of the girl with the map. The shoes and tights are a nice touch too, I think, as they’re very typically Clara - at least I think so anyway!! And the little badge is so cute. I NEED IT!


         yelena knocks because she is fucking polite and doesn’t just break into people’s homes for the shits and giggles like somebody she knows. (that and with doctor goody-two-shoes back in town, something tells yelena it wouldn’t be appreciated.) 

               ‘  look, i know we’re hardly on the best of terms, but we need to talk.  ‘

4 things (8/7/16)

1. I finally saw the amy schumer movie (Trainwreck) and I don’t really care about any part of the plot (being afraid to be nice to people is like, a problem some other, alien, species has – i don’t get it, it’s boring) except when she finally has a fight with her “really nice” boyfriend and he said what I had been waiting the entire movie to hear him say: that he doesn’t respect her job.

She has some shitty straw-person version of a writing job and he’s a ~*~*~doctor~*~*~.

It’s that shoe drop I’m always waiting for. I love readings because I love the creative energy but I hate talking to people afterwards because I’m just hyper aware of the kind of snobbery literary people tend to have. 

I don’t know how to explain it any better: i write the kind of articles I like to read. I actually like it and it’s fulfilling and I probably wouldn’t be fulfilled writing things with no commercial value because I am a kind of person who likes to add value to things. 

2. And a part of this is that I’ve never felt comfortable being someone whose work doesn’t have commercial value. I know “entitled” is the wrong word but I have never felt entitled to have people spend their finite attention on me. I want to earn it. I want to pay my own way. So I write things that are interesting enough to be worthy of someone’s attention without me having to ask for charity.

3. I was taking these cute snaps of my nephew and my moms puppy playing in a baby pool this afternoon and it was so suburban and blissful – big lush green shit everywhere, and like an irl ice cream truck in the background. I think from the outside you would think I was having this total joyful day and idk, I was just struck by how disparate how things appear on social media can be from reality. The truth is there’s a really sad and scary backstory to how I wound up taking those snaps today. (I’m fine, I was just helping someone out). But I just snapped these out of context things because they were fun and beautiful, not to be intentionally misleading. But it’s worth knowing that’s the case a lot of the time.

4. I love summer because I love how frivolous it is. I feel most myself when I am driving barefoot with the windows down. But they always get too long. I get impatient for the end of the year. Summer is always a book’s middle that goes on a little to long and I want to know what happens. Who did it? Do they end up together? I want it to be fall where things have a head on their shoulders and I can get a sense of where I’m going again.