Oh and I know I’m prone to hyperbole (particularly when it comes to dance parties) but DJ Oneman’s set last night was one of the best I’ve seen. In life. The Turrbotax residents had spun the mood into a booty-juke bacchanal (I swear they played DJ Nehpets for like 23 minutes), so when Oneman came on and started his set with like SMOOTH ASS GROWN/SEXY R. AND. B., it was unclear where he was going with it. I mean this dude played Karen White!

Turned out he was bopping a perfect palate cleanser because the eventual build-up to the clips of ecstatic-vocal funky house / bass/ garage (all future, future future future), was anxiously massive. When he brought in Girl Unit’s ‘010 ball-buster “Wut” he teased out the beat and melody only, no vocals; every time the orgasmic baby voice singing “wut?” was supposed to drop, he flipped in a subbassy drum break I didn’t recognize, left us in the lurch before letting the whole concept vaporize. A lesser-slash-less-subtle DJ would have pulled the vox back in like 20 minutes later and watched it body us like the willing little rave-puppets we were, but he didn’t. Didn’t even allude to it. Then he played James Blake “Limit to Your Love,” and I didn’t even get mad! Obviously Aaliyah was in there, too – “Are You That Somebody?” – but whatever extra-new track he played after it (can’t remember but recognized it, couple Tecatequilas in) connected the DNA strands of Timbaland’s sleekly engineered thumps and the highly stylized, grittier low end in The Bass Music of Today. No duh, right? Like the whole bass scene as we know it was born off young UK garage fetishists mining Baby Girl’s still-devastatingly small catalog for some kind of angelic transcendence, praying that her presence would take a track beyond the FUTURE FUTURE FUTURE extolled so egregiously and carry it into the Holy.

So yeah, dude was good. 

Last night also marks the second Turrbotax in a row in which I discover one of my favorite Rinse DJs is extremely diminuitive – first being Scratcha. They are made to look so hulking and superheroic in their Rinse bro bio flicks. Just like the silver screen, and actors!

Here’s a set he did on Mary Anne Hobbs’ old show (RIP) in 2008. It is nasty.

  • sciencey bs

yall better appreciate the hoops i had to jump thru to get this damn thing converted to the proper format for this goddamn site

so @lordsmellymort @infatuatedinnsmouth and i were talking the other day about how the star systems for denduron and eelong make no goddamn sense. like, three suns? that all work the exact same as one would here on good old earth? sun belt??? s un belt??? ? ?? ?? ???

basically we were dragging dj machale to hell and back over how he seemingly couldnt science his way out of a paper bag, and it was great fun until

my dad comes in and i tell him about it, then suddenly he pulls the science out and starts explaining how yeah, some of this bullshit isnt actually as bullshitty as it sounds? and he gave me some examples on how some of it might work in the real world??

basically on the car ride to dinner i asked him to explain all the shit so i could share with yall just how awesome and knowledgable my dad is