Cyril Figgis

2

Lana Kane: I just this second realized why you want to stay down here! Cyril’s just the Vader to your Palpatine. 

Malory Archer: Is that a reference I should get, or… 

Lana: Seriously? 

Malory: Well I’m sorry, Lana, I didn’t go to rabbinical school. 

Lana: It’s from… No, y'know what, never mind. But, spoiler alert, Vader ends up killing Palpatine. 

Cyril Figgis: Hey. 

Cherlene/Cheryl Tunt: But only for three days, right? And then he moves the rock and comes out of his cave stronger than ever. 

Pam Poovey: Then he shuts off the tractor beam, releasing the Jews from captivity.

Lana: What? 

Malory: Wait, yes, now that sounds familiar. 

Lana: It cannot possibly!

-”Archer”

  • Archer: Cyril, I am so mad right now, my mouth tastes like copper.
  • Cyril: Well, but are actually mad at me -
  • Archer: Yes!
  • Cyril: Or at the bullies who tormented a scrawny teenage boy with no friends?
  • Archer: You!
  • Cyril: Because I find it interesting that you were bullied in school, and now as an adult you're a bully. Do you want to talk about how you bully me?
  • Archer: I do, Cyril. I really do. But I'm afraid I'll tear up, and then not be able to see the road, and then plunge us off a cliff, and then, if you're still alive, STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH WITH MY BLOODY AND BROKEN HANDS!
  • Krieger: All righty, can somebody give me a hand?
  • Cheryl: But Doctor, I thought the patient was getting the hand.
  • Krieger: Speaking of hands, nurse, I'm -
  • Cheryl: Overplaying yours?
  • Krieger: Well, I was gonna say "Putty in yours," my dear, but I'll have to hand it to ya.
  • Cheryl: Hmmm. Keep your hands to yourself, Doctor.
  • Cyril: Can we have a show of hands, who thinks this is getting out of hand?
  • Ray: GOD DAMN IT! CAN YOU PLEASE. SHUT UP. AND SEW ON. MY ROBOT HAND?!
  • Pam: ...Hand job.