anonymous asked:

whoa ok step back, daedalus built a cow suit for a woman who wanted to fuck a bull and that's why the minotaur WAS A THING? I DID NOT KNOW THIS

I honestly think that I’d be doing you a great disservice if I didn’t tell you about the time Daedalus enabled rampant bestiality, so allow me to clear this gap in your knowledge. 

Anyone who doesn’t want to read a poorly retold myth about a man who built a cow suit so realistic that it totally fooled a magic bull into laying down some absolutely quality homo-bovine dick and siring a minotaur should probably press J on their keyboard right now, but honestly if that synopsis doesn’t do it for you then you should probably just quit Greek mythology all together.

So, Minos is this guy who manages to achieve the dual feat of being both King of Crete and an incorrigible asshole. Also, the first achievement is a really tenuous one, because Minos has like a billion brothers and he’s basically Malcolm in the Middle and all his brothers are better looking than him and they have way better abs and it’s really awkward every year at Christmas because they’re all “could you pass the stuffing, Minos? Also you’re totally stuffed because I’m going to be king one day haha suck it, right on” and so Minos starts to get really worried that he’s going to lose the throne to one of his more lustrous-locked brothers and then he’ll be stuck with just the one achievement of being an incorrigible asshole and so he has a little brood and he comes up with a plan. 

One day, he goes up to Poseidon, god of the sea and all things wet (or at least that’s what he tells girls at the Olympus nightclubs) and he’s like “hey, Poseidon, could you do me a solid?” and Poseidon is like “no bro but I can do you a liquid” and they have a little manly giggle and then Minos says “no but really, I need a favour” and Poseidon is like “well, you just gave me a golden opportunity to mock the states of matter, I’m 100% up for doing any favour you want” and Minos says “well, you know how I have loads of brothers” and Poseidon is like “you mean the better looking ones?” and Minos pouts and says “looks aren’t everything, but yes, those ones” and Poseidon is like “go on” and Minos says “well, I need them to stop trying to steal the throne because it’s getting really annoying and also I can’t sleep at night any more and it’s driving my hot wife insane, could you maybe show that you totally support me being King of Crete? That way, they’ll definitely stop being dicks at Christmas” and Poseidon just nods and says “I have a great idea for how I can do this”

and Minos is like “wow, are you going to send down an army of merpeople and slaughter all my brothers in a righteous and watery battle?” and Poseidon is like “no” and Minos says “are you going to conjure up a giant tidal wave and make it destroy all my brothers’ homes but leave my palace totally intact?” and Poseidon is like “no” and Minos says “well, are you going to turn all my brothers into mermen?” and Poseidon is like “look, I’m going to send you a bull”

and Minos just blinks and says “a bull” and Poseidon nods and grins and says “yes, a bull” and Minos says “THAT’S bull” and Poseidon points behind him and says “no, THAT’S a bull” and then he brings out this fucking phenomenal bull. Like, this bull puts all other bulls to shame. It’s glowing white and it’s as big as two ordinary bulls and probably twice as virile. It’s basically overcompensation in taurine form. Anyway, this bull is so bitchin’ that immediately, all of Minos’ brothers are like “wow, nope, you can keep that throne, we don’t want Poseidon to sic his sick bull on us” and basically Minos lives happily ever after with his incredible bull.

Until eventually Poseidon shows up at Minos’ palace and says “hey, Minos, you know that really awesome bull I lent you a while back?” and Minos is like “what bull” and Poseidon is like “the magical snow white bull which gleamed in the Cretan sun like limestone and Apollo’s cheekbones” and Minos is like “oh, THAT bull” and Poseidon is like “yes, that bull, now where is it because I’m having a bull party next week and I really want it back” and Minos says “well, here’s the thing, and it’s kind of a funny story really and I’m sure we’ll laugh about it later, maybe we could even laugh about it now, ha, but anyway all jokes aside I’m keeping the bull” and Poseidon is all “like fuck you’re keeping that bull, it’s my best bull, this is bullshit” and Minos is like “that’s one of the hazards of keeping a bull, maybe you’re not cut out for it” and Poseidon says “you haven’t heard the end of this, Minos, you have made a very powerful and watery enemy” and he leaves and Minos goes and, like, pets the bull or something, I don’t know what you do with bulls.

So, Poseidon goes back to his soggy lair and formulates a plan, and he eventually comes up with something straight out of Quentin Tarantino’s brie-induced nightmares. He goes to find Aphrodite, the goddess of love and afternoon delight, and says “hey Aphrodite, first of all you look delectable and secondly I need you to help me make a woman bang a bull” and Aphrodite is like “I honestly hate this job sometimes, but you’re right, I do look delectable, tell me more” and Poseidon is like “I had this really sweet bull and I lent it to Minos so he would think I liked him and now he won’t give it back and so I need you to make his wife fall in love with the bull, it’s a foolproof vengeance plan” and Aphrodite says “you are a god” and Poseidon says “yes” and Aphrodite says “why can’t you just, you know, take back the bull with your divine power?” and Poseidon is like “look, are you going to make this woman fall in love with the bull or not” and Aphrodite is like “fuck yes, that sounds hilarious, consider it done and I want front row seats” and Poseidon is like “you are my favourite niece and occasional lover, I owe you one”

Back to the palace at Crete, where Minos’ wife, Pasiphaë, is lounging about on a contemporary equivalent to a chaise-lounge when she suddenly gets this unmistakable urge to do the do with a bull - but not just any bull, her loins quiver only for the bull in her husband’s barnyard. Instead of doing what most people would do when they realise they have an insatiable urge to make tender love to a bull and immediately committing herself to months of therapy, she thinks “I know what I have to do” and she picks up the contemporary equivalent of a phone and calls Daedalus, inventor and architect extraordinaire.

She’s all “hey, Daedalus, we have patient confidentiality, right?” and Daedalus is like “I’m not your doctor, so no” and she’s like “well, I’m your Queen, so how about you say ‘yes’ instead and I tell you what I want?” and Daedalus is like “my lips are sealed, tell me what you need” and she’s all “well, there’s this really rad guy and I totally want to just lay him down and lick chocolate sauce off his body, but there’s a hitch in my plan” and Daedalus says “yeah, you’re married” and Pasiphaë says “yes, and also he’s a bull” and Daedalus is like “do you mean he’s well hung or” and Pasiphaë is like “look man you gotta help me on this, I need me some sweet bullocking and only you can help me” and Daedalus says “I’ll do what I can, but I hope you have a damn good shower at your palace because I may need to use it for about 6 weeks afterwards” and she’s like “done, now get over here and get me some”

So Daedalus turns up and helps her, and in the blink of an eye, he’s built her this monstrous wooden cow suit. Now, the myth is not exactly clear on the mechanics of this bovine sex toy, but it’s established that Pasiphaë gets into the cow suit and goes to find her bullock beau and they make sweet, sweet cattle love all day and all night. I do not know how she manoeuvres herself inside this wooden furry abomination and frankly I do not want to know, but whatever she does is 100% successful because 9 months later she gives birth to another furry abomination. The good news is that he’s a healthy, bouncing baby boy. The bad news is that he is half baby and half bull and also he has this really annoying habit that most newborns don’t have of eating people, which means that Minos is the definition of Not Impressed with his new stepson, so he does what any sane human would do in this situation, and he calls Daedalus. 

Daedalus says “I’m in the shower, what do you want?” and Minos is like “look, my wife has committed a slight indiscretion and I need you to take care of the result” and Daedalus is like “she fucked a bull and she’s had a grotesque hybrid baby, hasn’t she” and Minos narrows his eyes and says “how do you know?” and Daedalus says “just a stab in the dark, mate, I had no hand in this at all, literally none, just let me wash my hands a minute and I’ll be right back” and Minos is like “just build something to trap that devil spawn, because it’s started to eat my servants and I never even wanted a stepson anyway, it’s just one more claim to the throne isn’t it” and Daedalus is like “dude, give me a week and it’ll be done”

and so Daedalus constructs this impenetrable labyrinth that’s so impregnable that Daedalus nearly gets lost on the way out, and they lob the minotaur tot right into the middle of it, and that’s that.

Except then the minotaur starts demanding the sacrifice of seven young men every year, who are tossed into the labyrinth and forced to play a fatal game of cat and mouse with a grotesque superpowered man-bull creature that will ultimately devour them, flesh from bone, at the heart of a labyrinth that only he can navigate, but that’s a story for another myth. Or The Maze, starring Dylan O’Brien, out in a multiplex near you.

Keep reading

Heracles grapples with the Cretan Bull, while a Siren watches from a branch above.  Tondo of a Laconian black-figure kylix, in the manner of the Arcesilas Painter; ca. 550 BCE.  Now in the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  Photo credit: Claire H./Wikimedia Commons.


Extremely Rare Stater From Crete, 4th Century BC

From the city of Polyrhenion, the obverse with the laureate head of Zeus, the reverse with the facing head of a sacrificial bull with pendant fillets hanging from its horns; ΧΑΡΙΣΘΕ above, ΠΟΛΥΡΗΝΙΟΝ around - Extremely Fine. Extremely Rare, and among the finest known examples.

Polyrhenion was one of the oldest Dorian settlements in Crete. According to Strabo, it was settled in archaic times by Achaean and Laconian immigrants. Excavations from 1938 exposed a temple which was probably dedicated to Zeus, as well as other unidentifiable structures.

The sacrifice of bulls was a universal element of Greek religion, especially in Crete, which was full of mythological traditions relating to the bull, either by it being directed by a god or as a theriomorphic god in the form of a bull. The importance of the bull in Cretan culture was present even before the Mycenaean Greeks arrived there in the 14th century BC. The origin of the idea of bull (or ox) sacrifice was believed to be from the story of Prometheus in Hesiod’s Theogeny (521-616). During a sacrificial meal at Mecone which celebrated the “settling of accounts” between mortals and immortals, Prometheus deceived Zeus by giving him a delicious looking portion of the ox that was nothing but its bones “wrapped in glistening fat.” This ensured that humans would be able to keep the meaty part of the animal for themselves and burn bones wrapped in fat as offerings to the gods.

Legendary Creatures [C]

See the rest of the alphabet here.

The Tale of Harecules Chapter 4: Hades’ Secret Weapon

@trashasaurusrex @judylavernehopps @ryutolbx @hoppsforwilde

From that point forward, Judy was no longer just some bunny. She was a hero, the most beloved figure in all of Thebes. Merchants flocked to the city, selling merchandise by the barrel-load, and Judy, well she collected her royalties. Amphitryon and Alcmene never had to worry about making it to the market again, with Judy’s earnings easily sustaining their humble lifestyle. She built a massive home for herself in the wealthy district of Thebes, complete with a fully equipped training stadium. Finn stood by her side and managed her affairs, expertly navigating contractual agreements and her finances while Judy trained and overcame every obstacle placed in her path. And Hades, he refused to give up, sending creature after creature to try and dispose of the beloved bunny. But they couldn’t beat her. No beast, not the Nemean Lion, the gorgon, or the Cretan bull, could defeat her. As he watched Judy defeat each of his minions with ease, Hades grew angrier and more desperate, looking for any solution to his little problem.


           “No, no, no, NO!” Hades roared, upending the board of carefully constructed models, “Every single thing I send, she beats! Why can’t that bunny just roll over and die already!!” Hades glanced over his shoulder at the cowering figures of Pain and Panic.

           “Pull.” He spat out angrily. Together the two mammals launched a stone bust of Judy in the air. Hades basted it out of the sky with a bolt of blue fire and snarled again.

           “Beautiful day, isn’t it Hades.” Nick said with a smirk, waltzing up to the enraged god, “Now tell me, is this little hissy-fit because of your precious plan, or because your cheerleaders over there are wearing Judy’s merchandise?” Hades whirled around to glare at Pain and Panic, both of whom were desperately trying to hide their bunny themed sneakers. Hades stalked towards them angrily and then stopped and threw his paws in the air.

           “I don’t even know why I bother with you anymore!” He exhorted, “And you,” he said, wheeling to face Nick, “Why haven’t you done anything about our little problem?!” Nick shrugged and turned away from Hades.

           “I wasn’t aware that she was my responsibility.” He replied emotionlessly.

           “Oh c’mon Nicky!” Hades encouraged him, “Take a little initiative! Who knows, maybe one day, you’ll be able to earn your freedom.”

           “Yeah, no.” Nick said firmly, turning back to face the god, “I won’t be helping you get rid of Carrots.”

           “Carrots?!” Hades scoffed, “What is she, your little girlfriend? You’re forgetting one, eensy-weensy, little detail there fox, I OWN YOU!” He shouted, a pillar of flame erupting from his head. Nick shrugged.

           “What’s your point?”

           “What’s my point?” Hades asked, flabbergasted by the fox’s attitude, “Let’s see if this rings a bell shall we? Your girlfriend, a beautiful vixen if I may remind you, dies in a tragic accident and comes flying down to my happy little kingdom. But wait, you, the dashing savior, bravely offers to trade your soul for hers, bringing her back to life so that you could live happily ever after, except whoopsie! She runs off with another mammal, leaving you alone, helpless, and enslaved. That sound familiar?” Nick raised an eyebrow disinterestedly, showing no other reaction to Hades’ monologue. The panther let out an exasperated groan and ran a paw down his face.

           “Look, if you can find me Judy’s weakness, the key to finally crushing that little nuisance, I’ll give you what you want most in the world. Your freedom.” Nick’s eyes widened and Hades allowed himself a smile of satisfaction as he watched the fox weigh his options.

           “Are you going to kill her?” He asked quietly, refusing to make eye contact with the god of death.

           “Well, killing her would be ideal.” Hades muttered, tapping his chin thoughtfully, “But if that’s a deal breaker for you, I could just put her out of commission for a day.”

           “It’s a deal breaker.” Nick replied, still staring at the ground in shame.

           “Out of commission it is!” Hades responded exuberantly, holding out his paw, “Here, let’s shake on it.” Nick reluctantly took his paw and gave it one shake, shivering as the deal was made. He quickly retracted his paw and wiped it on his tunic in disgust.

           “Get going Nicky!” Hades sang, “We haven’t got all week!”


           “You should’ve seen it father!” Judy shouted, “That bull didn’t even stand a chance!” The statue of Zeus boomed with laughter.

           “Like father like daughter I see!” He chuckled, “You’ve done wonderfully dear! I’m so proud of you!”

           “Does that mean,” Judy began haltingly, looking at the ground shyly, “Does that mean I can join you guys in Olympus now?”

           “I’m afraid not.” The statue responded sadly, “You’ve accomplished so much, but you haven’t yet proved yourself to be a true hero.”

           “How do I prove myself then?!” Judy shouted back, her frustration boiling over, “I’ve beaten every single monster that I’ve faced, I’m a hero to all of Thebes, I’m even an action figure!”

           “Being famous doesn’t make you a true hero.” He said sternly, “Remain on your current path and I promise you will prove yourself.” With that, the statue sat back and became unmoving once more and the braziers extinguished.

           “But when?” Judy muttered angrily. Pegasus nudged her with his head and caused her to look up. He mimed holding his head up high and marching forward, causing Judy to chuckle.

           “You’re right Pegasus, I’ve just got to keep working.” She sighed. Pegasus gave her a look that clearly said, I’m always right, and then marched for the exit, Judy following in his wake. She gave one last look at the stone statue of her father before flying away on Pegasus


           “At noon we’ve got the meeting with the charioteer,” Finn began, reviewing a schedule while circling the pedestal Judy was standing on, “and then at two, we’re meeting your new image consultant, at half-past two, you’ve got to meet with those Amazons, and then at quarter to three, you’ve got to do your daily training.” Judy opened her mouth to respond, but was quickly scolded by the painter and resumed her position.

           “Finn,” She said, trying to remain as motionless as possible, “What’s the point of all this?”

           “What’s the point?!” He exclaimed, “Do you want to get to Olympus or not? Just trust me on this kid.”

           “Yeah, but—”

           “Stop moving!” The painter, a scraggly lynx, shouted. Judy jumped down from the pedestal and shrugged sheepishly at the fuming painter. He threw the vase he had been painting on the floor in disgust, turned around, and marched out of the room.

           “Sheesh, who knew artists were so temperamental?” Finn remarked.

           “Finn, how is any of this helping me become a true hero?” Judy persisted, “Nothing we’ve done so far has worked, so why should this?” Finn sighed and looked at the bunny.

           “Listen Jude, I’ve been doing this my whole life. It’s what I know. Sure, it hasn’t gotten ya to Olympus yet, but if you give it some time, eventually your moment will arrive.”

           “But when?” Judy began despairingly, “Everyone keeps telling me eventually, but— Oh no.” She sighed, her ears detecting a gathering crowd, “One of the tour groups got inside again.”

           “I thought we closed the gates.” He groaned, locking the door.

           “They must’ve climbed them again.” Judy responded, the annoyance clear in her voice.

           “Ok you know the drill.” Finn said tiredly, “Hide behind one of the curtains, I’ll lead them away and getcha once they’re gone.” Judy nodded her agreement and slipped into one of the many alcoves in the room that was covered by a curtain. Finn opened the door to find a crowd of excited mammals, eager to meet their hero.

           “Alright, c’mon,” Judy heard Finn say as he led the crowd toward away from her, “she’s just over here.” Judy was standing behind the curtain, impatiently tapping her feet and waiting for Finn to return when she heard a voice.

           “I wonder what’s behind curtain number 1?” A familiar voice asked dryly. The curtain was whipped back to reveal Nick, wearing his trademark smirk.

           “Nick, uh, Hi!” Judy said nervously, “What’re you doing here?”

           “Oh I saw that crowd sneak in here and I thought there might be a mammal in distress.” He responded, earning a giggle from the bunny, “So this is what heroes do on their days off.” He commented before flopping down on a chaise lounge and surveying the opulently decorated room.

           “Well, I don’t really have days off,” Judy corrected, “I always have to be ready to save someone.”

           “Are you telling me that you haven’t had a day off? Ever?” Nick asked, smiling lazily at the flustered bunny.

           “Huh.” She remarked, “I guess I haven’t.”

           “Well, do you think the little half-pint would go berserk if you played hooky?” Nick asked, squeezing a Finn action figure and making its eyes pop out.

           “I don’t think I should.” Judy said apologetically, “It’s just that Finn has a full schedule for me and—”

           “Carrots, it’s simple.” Nick said quickly, “We go around back, past the barbells, you lift up the back wall, and we’re out of here. Finn won’t notice us and I can finally show you Thebes.” He finished enticingly.

           “Alright.” She relented, a smile growing on her face, “Let’s go!”


           “So, what’d you think Carrots?” Nick asked, walking down the stairs into the garden.

           “That was incredible!” She responded, excitedly, “The food at the place we went to was amazing! And that play?! That Oedipus guy?! I thought I had problems!” Nick laughed and stumbled down the last few steps.

           “Ow!” He snarled as he twisted his ankle. He tried putting weight on it and immediately gasped in pain. Judy jumped down the last steps and picked him up in her arms.

           “Oh.” He said in surprise as she picked him up. She walked over to a nearby bench and deposited the fox on it before sitting down next to him.

           “Thanks for the lift Carrots.” Nick said after a moment, “So do you have any problems like this?” He asked, flicking his tail into her lap while he massaged his ankle, “Weak ankles I mean.” Judy blushed and carefully brushed off his tail.

           “Not really.” She replied.

           “Nothing?” Nick asked, sitting back up and leaning in closer, “No trick knee, no pulled muscles, no easily injured appendage?”

           “I’m fit as a fiddle.” Judy replied, flustered by the fox’s face just inches from hers. He pulled away and looked at the bunny once more.

           “You really are perfect, aren’t you Carrots?” He said in wonderment. Judy shrugged and got to her paws.

           “I wouldn’t say perfect.” She asserted, picking a rock up off the ground and skipping it in one of the reflecting pools. Nick opened his mouth to disagree, but stopped as he watched the rock smash through the center of a statue.

           “Not perfect,” He chuckled as the bunny blushed, “but as close as I’ve ever seen.”

           “Nick, you’re too kind.” Judy stammered.

           “Yeah, kind.” Nick muttered in a defeated tone, full of self-hatred.

           “What was that?” Judy asked, her keen ears detecting Nick’s mutterings.

           “Nothing.” He called, getting back to his paws and testing the one he twisted. When he found that it could hold his weight, he walked over to Judy, who was still surveying the massive hole in the statue’s chest.

           “I never liked it anyways.” Nick stated loftily, eyeing the broken piece of statuary. Judy laughed.

           “Y’know,” She began without warning, “when I was a kid, I would’ve given everything to be just like anybody else.”

           “You wanted to be a petty dishonest liar?” Nick asked dryly.

           “Mammals aren’t like that Nick.” Judy said softly.

           “Trust me.” He replied darkly, “They are.”

           “The moment you lose faith in mammality is the moment you give up Nick!” Judy exhorted. Nick sat down on the edge of the pool and chuckled.

           “I gave up years ago Judy.” He responded, “When mammals don’t trust you to begin with, you don’t have a lot to give up on.”

           “I trust you.” She said tenderly, sitting down beside him.

           “You shouldn’t.” He murmured.

           “Nick, you’re the most amazing mammal I’ev ever met! Why shouldn’t I trust you?”

           “Because when I get close to mammals, someone gets hurt.” He sighed, “And the last thing I want is for that to happen.”

           “Nick, I would never hurt you.” Judy swore, “And I know that you wouldn’t hurt me.”

           “And how do you know that?” He breathed, “I’m a fox! I’m the last mammal you should ever trust!”

           “I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” Judy said stubbornly, “Because I know that you’re a good mammal.”

           “Yeah right.” He scoffed.

           “Hey look at me!” She scolded, grabbing his muzzle and yanking his face down to hers, “Nick, you’re a good mammal. Even if you don’t believe it, I do!” Suddenly, Judy was acutely aware of the muzzle now inches from hers. Nick stared at her, his eyes wide with surprise and they both slowly leaned in, and kissed.

           “ALRIGHT BREAK IT UP!” Finn screamed, a burning white light shining down on the two mammals from the lantern atop Pegasus’ head. Nick and Judy jerked away from each other in embarrassment and Finn landed Pegasus right next to Judy.

           “I can’t believe you!” He shouted, “You’re gonna to get on that horse and train until you can’t walk! Let alone have a night out on the town with little Nicky over there!”

           “Who you calling little, squirt?” Nick snarked, blowing out the lantern on Pegasus’ head. Both Finn and Pegasus fixed Nick with death glares.

           “Could you give us a second, guys?” Judy asked timidly. Finn stormed off and Pegasus snorted angrily before following.

           “Thanks for the day Nick.” Judy said, playing with her ears nervously, “It was the most fun I’ve had in a while.” Judy jumped up in the air and grabbed a flower blossom from a tree above.

           “I’ll see you around.” She said with a smile, handing the bloom to Nick. Nick stared at the flower in surprise, quickly returning his gaze to Judy, who was already on Pegasus. She gave him one last smile before Pegasus took off and flew away.


           Judy kept staring dreamily back at Nick from Pegasus’ back as they flew, making Finn even angrier.

           “Keep your goo-goo eyes on the road!” He shouted angrily, climbing onto her shoulders and swiveling her head so it was facing forward. Immediately after doing so, he was hit by a low hanging branch and went flying off the horse.


           Nick stared at the flower in wonderment, sighing as he remembered his day with Judy.

           “Oh no.” He realized, “No Nick, that’s a no go.” He tried to toss the flower into the pool, but his paw wouldn’t let go of it.

           “Not again.” He groaned, “And a bunny?! I can’t fall in love with a bunny can I?!” He sat back down on the lip of the pool and buried his face in his paws.

           “I thought that I had learned my lesson.” He muttered, “You’re in love, you’re happy, and then suddenly, she leaves and your heart is ripped out! I just, I can’t do it again!” He got back to his paws and started pacing back and forth.

           “But she wouldn’t do that. I know she wouldn’t. She’s a good mammal. But she’s a bunny. Foxes mate for life, do bunnies? Would she leave me for some other mammal?” He rambled while he paced.

           “No, I’m not in love.” He tried to convince himself, “I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.” Nick continued trying to convince himself, but deep down, he knew it was no use. He had fallen in love with a bunny! And not just any bunny, the very bunny Hades wanted gone!

           “This is not good.” He moaned, burying his head in his paws. He jerked his head up at a sudden crackling noise and watched as Hades melted his way through one of the statues.

           “What’s not good?” He asked with a sinister smile. Nick blanched.

           “She doesn’t have any weaknesses!” He said quickly, trying to hide his feelings from the god. Hades frowned.

           “Are you sure? Everyone’s got a weakness.” He persisted, “You didn’t notice anything? She didn’t tell you anything?” Nick shook his head.

           “Plan B then.” Hades said cheerfully, “You take care of her.”

           “No.” Nick said quietly.

           “I’m sorry, what was that Nicky?” Hades asked dangerously.

           “I said no.” He stated louder, “That wasn’t part of the deal.”

           “Well, I’m making it part of the deal.” Hades retorted angrily, “Because I’m the one in charge!”

           “I don’t care!” Nick shouted, his composure breaking for the first time in years, “You can do whatever you want to me! I am not hurting Judy!”

           “You don’t love her? Do you?” Hades asked, flabbergasted, “Nicky, come on! She’s just going to use you then throw you out like a piece of garbage when she’s done!”

           “Like you treat me so well!” Nick snarled back, “And she would never! She’s kind and compassionate and good—”

           “She’s a prey.” Hades interrupted incredulously, “I can’t believe this! Even you refuse to get rid of the little rat! I guess I’ll just have to take care of her myself!” Nick smirked as he stared down the panther.

           “You can try.” He said smugly, “But she has no weaknesses. You can’t beat her.” Hades face twisted in anger and then he noticed the flower in Nick’s paw.

           “Actually, Nicky,” He began, looking meaningfully at the flower, “I think she may just have a weakness after all.” Nick felt his heart plummet in his chest as Hades realized what the flower meant.

           “Now, I believe I need to remind you of how our little arrangement works.” Hades began, resting his paw on Nick’s shoulder, “I say I want the bunny’s head on a platter, you say?”

           “Medium or well-done.” Nick replied in defeat.


           Finn woke up in the bushes and rubbed the lump on his head.

           “I’m gonna have her running laps until I die.” He muttered darkly, stumbling to his paws. He walked through the bushes and saw Nick talking to an unfamiliar black panther. He stole closer just in time to hear their last few sentences.

           “Oh no.” He murmured, “This is going to kill her.”


           “Now come along Nicky,” Hades crowed, “I’ve got an apocalypse to start.”

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next one will be out whenever i get to it :)

  • Aries: Capture the golden hide of Artemis
  • Taurus: Capture the Cretan Bull
  • Gemini: Slay the 9-headed Hydra
  • Cancer: Obtain Geryon's cattle
  • Leo: Slay the Hermean Lion
  • Virgo: Clean the Augean stables in one day
  • Libra: Capture Cerberus alive
  • Scorpio: Steal Hippolyta's girdle
  • Sagittarius: Steal Hesperide's apples
  • Capricorn: Capture the Mares of Diomedes
  • Aquarius: Slay Stymphalian birds
  • Pisces: Capture Erymanthian boar

Printmaker & Artist:

Sustai Ulanbaagen

“Hercules and the Cretan Bull”

Hand Pulled Original Print on Japanese Paper

15" x 11" Inches 

Printed on Japanese Kozo Paper (Rice Tone)

“This is a most recently wood block print i made, it shows the scene when Hercules try to capture the Cretan bull, which is one of his 12 hero tasks.
I noticed when I am working on wood, I tend to over define the line work, and also the nature quality of woodcut is very even, plus together there is always a stiffness in my work. So for this image, I tried to keep some rough lines of the original drawing I made, and I drew directly on the panel, didn’t transfer the drawing onto it, so I kept some roughness of drawing instead of well designed neat woodcut line quality.
about the Chinese{or in Japanese Kanji (漢字) which is the same thing basically } title "赫氏扼牛圖”, directly translating will be : the picture of Hercules chocking the bull.“


humiliation tactics, sloughing through
the shit & the mud,

a broken baptism, the water
washing it all away

something like that,

something about time
for time’s sake


a memory of us as children
watching a thousand birds
take flight, the murmuration

a language we happily
translated as anything but
a bad omen

today, their deadly heartache,
ancient augury, static imagine
in the sky pointing north,

a language of absence, your
face the only thing i see


your love - the china shop, me
leveling the town, ruination
incarnate, but i cannot move you

nothing remains intact, all the pieces
broken to begin with

you tell me i would never sacrifice
anything for you, shards on the floor
by my bloody feet


an unnatural diet of human flesh,
the dead boy eaten by the tires of the

another sad story on the news while
you held my hand idly, thinking about
how you were gonna leave me

—  12 LABOURS OF HERCULES pt 2 | agooduniverse

Atlantis alphabet [ a - c ]

A is for Argo

Argo was the ship on which Jason and the Argonauts sailed from Iolcos to retrieve the Golden Fleece.

B is for Bull

In Greek mytholigy Bull has many meanings. I choose this: the Cretan Bull was the bull Pasiphaë fell in love with, giving birth to the Minotaur.

C is for Colchis.

Colchis was the home of Aeëtes, Medea, Golden Fleece, fire-breathing bulls Khalkotauroi and the destination of the Argonauts. Colchis is also thought to be the possible homeland of the Amazons.

The Cretan Bull.

So the Cretan Bull was the most beautiful bull anyone had ever seen, right? and I had to capture it and bring it back to Greece from Crete. So I went over to Crete and asked King Minos for his help in getting the bull, he refused, but said if I could capture the thing without any help he would let me take it. Well I did. So I swam on it’s back to Greece and handed it over to Eurystheus who tried to dedicate it to Hera, but the bitch didn’t like that so she set the damned thing free! I mean, c'mon!