a major reason I haven’t been active is because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the pervasiveness of “identitarian” politics here and elsewhere – i.e., the belief that identities are pre-discursive (I have always hated this word but I don’t have another way of explaining it right now), the kind of politics that attach a moral status to identities, the subsequent construction of identities in terms of/against/contrary to identities considered inherently morally-reprehensible … which ultimately results in the necessity and maintenance of those morally-reprehensible identities + the power relations between those identities, and so on – like, identitarian politics are completely futile and harmful
it’s so overwhelming and I don’t know where or how to begin dissolving it since it’s such an important part of how people understand politics in general
Some thoughts on the definition of sexual/romantic attraction:
It’s a difficult task for most asexuals/aromantics to imagine what r/s attraction is like. And because our orientations are defined by the lack of this, it makes it hard to be secure in our orientations.
But what if we defined sexual attraction, and thus asexuality/aromanticism a different way?
Currently, as it’s described, sexual attraction seems like a physical thing. “A feeling in your groins,” some have said. A bodily desire. But what if our innate preferences were more psychological–a thought process–and have traits that are easily observed/understood?
The way we think about sex and boys and girls is the most easily observable difference I can see. Allosexual people have an interest in other people’s bodies. They “very much want to see” them or something. It’s a thought, like you just know you “want to move to Spain”. I don’t know why that happens, or why it only happens with certain genders, but it just is an interest and desire to be intimate, I suppose. *
As an asexual, I know my opinion on sexual relationships! When crushing on someone, my mind does not naturally wander towards kissing and further sexual intimacy. When I try to picture myself like that with them, it feels wrong; I don’t like it. In locker rooms, I don’t feel any interest or excitement towards others. I’m not excited to finally “try sex out” or anything. I can look at pictures of naked bodies and I’m not curious or interested or anything else…I just don’t have any thoughts about me wanting to be that way with another person. I feel nothing.
This is clear evidence of lack of interest, and we can use these traits as markers of asexuality, so it’s easier to understand ourselves and be confident in our sexuality. I don’t need to understand sexual attraction to know that I’m asexual.
It’s cool because I can now confirm my asexuality by traits I know I do have.
The same can go for aromantics. Instead of trying to understand alloromantics’ views about romantic attraction, try to understand what you personally want, and how you personally feel towards relationships. Can you see yourself being content with never marrying someone (and not in a friendship way)? Do you even want relationships, to date; do you see people as potential partners? I don’t know. How do you see the world? Use those traits to identify aromanticism. Make a “checklist” or aromantic traits.
Anyways these are just some thoughts I’m having.
*I may have clumsily described thought processes surrounding sexual attraction, but don’t get mad at me and feel free to contribute more information about your experiences.
when love, empathy, community, goodness and the like are aestheticized and romanticized and effectively defanged it’s no wonder that people don’t think they have utility for or a place within political life – but that isn’t because these things are inherently this way, but because they’re commonly understood as being this way and are enacted this way as a result
when we understand love, for example, as mere positive affect, as apolitical, as reward, and thus as a limited resource, as something to be deserved or earned… then statements like “love your enemies” (I’m using it outside of its religious context here, but I’m sure this would apply even within it) are justifiably seen as morally reprehensible – love is wasted on our enemies; love is stolen by them; love won’t change them, it only enables them to do harm
and you’d be right – this “kind” of love (scare quotes because I don’t believe it’s love at all) changes no one, not even the people who ostensibly “deserve” it; it benefits no one; it orients no one toward growth; it nourishes no one
but this isn’t a problem with love itself; this is a problem with what people have decided to name “love” – or rather, the ways we have been coerced into a particular understanding of what love is, namely something aestheticized, romanticized, toothless, and unequivocally positive
“loving your enemies”, in my opinion, has absolutely nothing to do with holding them in unconditional positive regard, which is how people tend to understand loving
I’m not sure I want to say more on the subject, mostly because I’m of the opinion that loving your enemies is necessary [albeit insufficient] for their transformation and change
We had our Grand Opening celebration (really the one year anniversary) at the feed store and I brought goats, bunnies, set up a model hive, and had hive and hoof tools. I ran a little petting zoo and did livestock demos and answered questions. We had a blast with a raffle and promotional freebies, food, a bounce house, blacksmith, and potter. Nearly all the employees got in the bounce house. Judas Jr. spent about 4 hours playing in it and making friends.
We had such a great time we’re going to do two a year (spring and autumn) and combine them with our farmers market. This was my first time doing any sort of educational presentation and it was pretty cool! I think there will be more of that in the future.
Character: Annie Edison Appears in: Community Commonly interpreted as: Straight
But really: Although Annie shows romantic interest in male characters (most significantly Jeff, Rich, and Troy at varying points in the show), there are several instances of her showing very clear attraction to female characters as well. This seems particularly centered around Britta Perry.
In Season 2, there’s an exchange in which the entire study group discusses the fact that there’s nothing preventing any two of the group from seeing each other as romantic partners and different combinations share looks that range from disgusted to comedic. Britta and Annie look at each other and both of their gazes soften as they consider each other and the appeal. Later in the same season, Britta is shocked to discover one of her non-group friends is straight. Someone jokingly suggests that Britta and Annie kiss and Annie eagerly goes to do it before Britta shuts her down and walks away.
Annie’s actor Alison Bree has been a bit cagey about whether Annie is bisexual and instead uses phrasing like “still figuring out who she is,” but the evidence is definitely there. Annie Edison is bisexual.
I’ve noticed that the enactment of certain anti-racist and feminist politics I’ve come across here and in certain activist spaces has the weirdest temporal orientation
these politics are either thoroughly concerned with the present and improving present conditions without much thought about the future (which is completely necessary a lot of the time, e.g., with respect to pressing, immediate, present dehumanising conditions) or concerned with the future for only a particular group of people (which is also completely necessary a lot of the time) – but never seems to be concerned about what the future looks like at large, or how our futures would be situated within or in relation to other futures – namely how the future looks for the people who would have once been responsible for our dehumanisation, and how our futures look in relation to their futures and within a future in which we will inevitably exist together
people who were once hegemonically-understood and -identified as white or as men, for example, will continue to exist – what does the future look like for them? what does a future with them look like? I think the general consensus is that we shouldn’t have to worry about what happens to them, but my problem with that conclusion is that it assumes that it’s possible to think about our own futures without thinking about theirs – it isn’t
Looking for more inspiration? Go follow 👉🏼 @gofitu Fit University - the fastest growing community of #fit students in colleges and universities. Support the #community and follow 👉🏼 @gofitu ✨✨
Athlete & Photo by @sarahjgaines
Custom Made Halloween Monster - Voting and Suggestions
Hi Guys and Girls, Luke here again!
And to celebrate the month of October and all the spookiness of Halloween, we, with help from the community, are putting together a Homebrew monster for all you guys and girls in the community to use in your “Halloween Specials” for your games.
And so we’ve set up a bunch of polls for all of you to to take a look at and vote on.
I’m here for the girls who started out as overly invested straight allies. I’m here for the girls who kissed other girls as a joke/when they were drunk/to piss people off. I’m here for the girls who didn’t realize they liked girls and kept dating boys. I’m here for the girls who like girls and still date boys. I’m here for the girls who don’t have a romantic or traumatic coming out story. I’m here for the girls who realized “oh fuck, maybe I’m just actually gay” and life went on as usual. I’m here for the girls who think they aren’t valid because hey don’t have enough gay experiences. You are real and you are beautiful and I love you.
It’s National Coming Out Day tomorrow and I just want to remind everyone of a few things:
You do NOT have to come out! You should never feel pressured to.
Only come out IF you are safe and accepted.
There is no “CORRECT” way to come out. Everyone is different and there’s no perfect format for the dialogue.
You’re allowed to change. Don’t feel like the identity you come out as is permanent. Some people find one label and it sticks, some change their label before finding the correct one, some never do and some don’t believe in labels.
Most importantly: YOU DO YOU. There are no rights or wrongs.
Be safe lovelies and I am sending my best wishes for you all.
When 11,000 people took to the streets in Celaya, Mexico this weekend to protest marriage equality, a 12-year-old boy stood in their way.
Journalist Manuel Rodríguez took this stunning photo, which some people are saying is reminiscent of the famous Tiananmen Square “tank man” photo. The boy hasn’t been named, but he told Rodríguez that he has a gay uncle and hates that people hate him. Oof. (via USA Today)