Coast Guard

anonymous asked:

I have been following you since sometime last year. LOVE your blog! I remember you always recommending to communicate your feelings to your SO. How do you deal with the miscommunication or lack of communication that turn into hurt feelings???

Aww, thanks lovely Anon! I just sent wherethewhiteroadruns a message about this!!! I have had a funky emotional week and I emailed my husband asking him to call me when he had a chance. I had to tell him what was troubling me and after our brief phone call I followed up with an email about what I think triggered all the darn feels.

+TALK AND ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED–ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S TOUGH, NOT NECESSARILY WHEN YOU’RE MAD:
I have always recommended to find a healthy way to communicate your feelings to your significant other and ask them for what you need. If it’s hurting me, I have to speak up; I just don’t have to do it when I’m raging angry. I find it easier to do effectively communicate when I have calmed down and I’m not as upset. I can’t expect him to just know my thoughts & feelings (he’s not a mind-reader, no matter how long we’ve been together). I also had to learn to ask him for what I needed, which was so difficult for me. Example: “My love language is words of affirmation. I would like for you to please tell me that you’re proud of me or that I’m beautiful.” Saying that made me literally cringe because I felt so needy. But it’s my reality: I need words of affirmation to feel most loved. Once I said it, he started making a true effort to express himself (which was most difficult for him).
+KNOW EACH OTHERS’ LOVE LANGUAGE:
The most common miscommunication comes from feeling that your SO isn’t showing their love for you. There are 5 languages:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Acts of service
4. Physical touch
5. Receiving gifts
You can give love in one way and accept love in another. Finding your love language(s) is key to having less miscommunications. I recommend “The 5 Love Languages: Military Edition.” It taught my husband and I so much about each other & it helped us know how to keep each others “love tanks” full. 
+OWN YOUR FEELINGS AND ASK QUESTIONS:
I think about what triggered my feelings, pray about it, & try keep it as simple as possible when explaining it to him (especially during deployment). I own my feelings by saying, “I felt this when you said that.” Rather than, “You made me feel this when you said that.” Owning my feelings helps to get my point across and lessens the possibility of him getting defensive. I also ask questions, “Can you explain what you meant by that statement?” and “Do you have questions about anything I said?” I don’t like labeling his feelings for him or making assumptions about what he meant and vise-versa.
+LISTEN AND VALIDATE:
Communication is a two-way street. You have to be willing to listen to their feelings and thoughts. Even if you don’t agree, their feelings must be validated, as well. If your SO is anything like mine, he doesn’t immediately know how he’s feeling–he asks for time to process it all (which sort of drives me crazy, but I have had to learn to respect his processing time). When he’s ready, he responds and we discuss how to move forward. 
+VISUAL OR AUDIO LEARNER/PRESENTER:
I best express myself when I write. My husband best expresses himself over the phone or in person. So, during deployment, I figured out a system that works for us: I start the email by stating that “this email will require for you to take time to read.” This helps him prioritize; if he’s too busy, he prints it out so he can read it later–if he’s not as busy, he reads it right then and there. If it’s a very important matter, I requests he calls (this isn’t always possible) even if we can only talk for 5 minutes. If coms are up & he can call, we’ll talk and after our phone call: I follow up with an email. I noticed that emails with bullet point lists summarizing my feelings/our convo is best understood & received by him. 

Side note: it takes years of intentionality and constant love to get to a place of harmony…I hope you and our SO find that place soon. God bless!

-R

Radiation Readiness

Japan Coast Guard anti-terrorism team members attend the emergency exercise on the assumption that terrorists attack a nuclear plant on May 11, 2013 in Tomioka, Fukushima, Japan. The exercise was jointly operated by the Japanese Police Agency and Japan Coast Guard. (Photo by The Asahi Shimbun via Getty Images)

A Friendly Memorial Day Reminder

Memorial Day has come to mean a long weekend, a getaway trip, a sale, Figawi, a barbecue, another occasion to get drunk while the sun is still out. And I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that. But that’s not what Memorial Day is about.

Memorial Day is about commemorating a sacrifice. The military women and men sacrificing their lives, not only by dying for our freedom, but losing limbs and not being able to stand and cheer for their children at sports games. By missing the weddings, births, first communions and graduations of the ones they love and attending far more funerals than anyone their age should. It’s about the families constantly living in fear of whether or not they will ever know the comfort of hugging their military man or woman again. It’s about the children that lose parents and the women and men losing the loves of their lives. It’s about the sailors, marines, soldiers, airmen, and guardians that return feeling alone and afraid even though they’ve been welcomed home with open arms, unable to get a full night’s sleep or assimilate to normal civilian life, or even get full medical coverage for work related injuries or illness. It’s about appreciating the selflessness that drives these people to defend their country.

It repulses me to see people take for granted the privilege that is to be American, almost as much as disrespect/lack of appreciation for our troops does. Whether or not you support our foreign endeavors, you absolutely owe every ounce of your ovation to the people that risk their lives for this country, and the families enduring unbearable pain in their absences.

Eat hot dogs, drink beer, enjoy the beach, but take a moment to consider the heart ache, bloodshed and altruism that brought this holiday into existence in the first place.

Obama tells Coast Guard Academy graduates: "The threat of a changing climate cuts to the very core of your service.”

Rising seas and thawing permafrost caused by warmer global temperatures threaten U.S. military bases and will change the way the U.S. armed services defend the country, President Barack Obama said on Wednesday.

In a commencement address at the United States Coast Guard Academy, Obama underscored the risks to national security posed by climate change, one of his top priorities for action in his remaining 19 months in office.

Get the full story here.