Coach Dan

here you are you horny fucks


-


“Are we s-supposed to be doing this?” Dan stuttered, letting Phil tug his shirt off over his head, tilting his head back to let Phil suck at his throat.

“Probably not.” Phil smirked, chuckling softly. “Do you care?”

“N-Not really.”

“Good.”

This… probably wasn’t the best idea. Not the best lapse of judgement on his part. But he wanted him, so fucking bad. His mouth felt so good against his throat, his brain was going fuzzy.

‘Take control of me’, he thought. Take it, take all of me.

Phil could clearly read minds, because he had Dan turned in seconds, bent over his apartment kitchen counter. That was as far as they had gotten; embarrassing, Dan knew. But did he care? No, not really.

He especially didn’t care when Phil’s cold hands were tugging at his belt, dropping his jeans. Dan let out a small whimper at Phil’s fingers brushing his skin, and Phil slapped his ass.

“No whining, slut,” he growled, leaning forward so he could whisper against Dan’s ear, grabbing a handful of his hair and tugging roughly. Dan moaned.

“S-Sorry, sir,” he choked, and Phil nodded in approval.

“Good boy. Now, are you gonna let me take care of you, sweetheart?”

Dan nodded quickly, incredibly turned on at this point. Because, fuck, how could you not be?

Dan took a shaky breath, feeling his arms being bent behind his back at an uncomfortable angle, and pinned there by Phil’s firm grip. Phil’s erection rubbed against his ass, and he gasped.

“Phil-” he breathed, pushing back, desperate for as much of the man as possible. Phil chuckled, kneading his ass with one hand, digging his nails in.

“Don’t be a needy whore, Dan. You know better than that.” He hummed, tugging down Dan’s boxers and leaning over to kiss the slightly red skin. “Want me to fuck you?” He laughed, like he already knew the answer. Of course he did.

“Yes,” Dan whined, shifting desperately. “Please, Phil, fuck me, fuck me so hard I can’t think, please-!”

Phil didn’t answer, but Dan felt the grip on his hands loosen, and a rustling. Before he could even think he felt something slick press against his entrance; Phil’s fingers.

He started with one, pushing it in slowly, making Dan whimper. He pumped it slowly, resting his other hand on Dan’s lower back, pinning his wrists.

Dan let out a soft gasp as Phil added another, twisting them. Phil smacked his ass again.

“You’re a loud one, aren’t you?” He mumbled. “Don’t get me wrong, I love it. But I have half a mind to gag you, your screams would sound so pretty muffled.”

Dan bit his lip to keep from moaning just from that, his eyes gently rolling back in his head. Fuck, that was so hot.

Phil’s fingers grazed his prostate, and Dan’s hips bucked forward automatically, and he whined loudly.

“Fuck, Phil, please,” he gasped.

He heard Phil chuckle breathily, scissoring his fingers for a second before pulling them out.

“Alright, baby,” he muttered, his voice low. “Whatever you need.”

Dan only had to wait a moment before Phil was pressing against him, pushing in.

Fucking hell, he was big.

“Fuck,” Dan moaned, stretching the word out. He instinctively tried to move his hands, but Phil tightened his grip.

He bottomed out seconds later, filling him up completely and holding still for a second. Dan squirmed, and Phil reached up to tangle his fingers in Dan’s hair, tugging. Slowly, he pulled most of the way out, pushing back in and drawing a loud noise out of Dan.

Dan was overwhelmed; completely hypnotized by the feeling of Phil’s cock pushing in and out of him, practically drooling.

Soon Phil was snapping his hips roughly, thrusting into him hard, making Dan scream. Every breath came with continuous moans, and Phil’s name, over and over again. He was fairly certain he had never been fucked like this before.

Dan came pretty quickly, probably quicker than he should have, but Phil kept fucking into him; chasing his own high. The feeling was overwhelming, and Dan’s noises got gradually louder and higher pitched as Phil overstimulated him.

Phil groaned, digging his nails into Dan’s hip. He pulled out finally, stroking himself so he could come over Dan’s lower back.

The first time Dan regretted it was the next day, right before the game.

That morning he had to change into a turtleneck, a black, wool one that was sure to be too hot, because he had forgotten about the hickeys.

They were everywhere. Even in places he didn’t even remember Phil’s mouth being.

But he truly started to regret it when he realized Phil was going to use this against him.

The game started pretty slow, and Phil’s team was ahead. Dan only glanced over at Phil, who was watching them intently, running his fingers through his messy hair.

Fuck, he was attractive.

But as he turned back to the game, he caught one of Phil’s players shoving the goalie. He blew his whistle, calling a foul.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Phil motioning him over. He quickly called a time out, jogging over.

“What’s up,” he muttered, and Phil smirked, leaning closer.

For a split second, Dan thought he was going to kiss him, but then he went to his ear instead.

Dan cursed his heart for beating faster.

“Dan, sweetheart,” Phil whispered, his voice sickly sweet, and Dan’s blood froze. “You know what I’ll do to you if I lose this game, right?”

Dan swallowed, pulling back slightly. “Is t-that a threat?”

A light smirk tugged at the corner of Phil’s mouth.

“Kind of,” he breathed. “But I think you like it anyways.”

“Excuse me?” Dan’s head was foggy. Christ, get it together, Howell.

“Dan, I swear to god, I’ll fuck you so hard you lose your voice from screaming my name.” Before Dan could react, Phil leaned even closer, his lips grazing Dan’s ear. “If I don’t win, I’ll make sure you can’t walk for weeks. Want you all bruised and pretty for me, fucking ruined.”

A shiver ran through Dan’s body, and he flinched. He could feel his pants tightening. Fuck, he didn’t want to go out there will a boner.

“And if I win?” Phil shrugged, stepping back casually. “Maybe we could get dinner or something, beautiful. Maybe I’ll let you ride me.”

Dan stared at him, gathering his thoughts and shaking off the arousal.

He called off the foul, despite several angry shouts from the crowd.

Phil did it three more times, every time his team fucked up. Dan was sweating, ruined by the end of the game.

Needless to say, Phil’s team won.

the foxes as things i’ve said to my puppy

Allison: “don’t fucking touch me”

Renee: “we. are. friends.”

Matt: “why won’t you let me love you?”

Dan: “aw, you wanna go out? you- YOU LIED TO ME”

Andrew: “your ability to look cute is the only thing keeping you alive”

Aaron: “stop talking to me” 

Neil: *under attack of love and death simultaneously* “this, this is fine”

Kevin: “can’t even get the fucking ball, fucking worthless little-” or *clutching vodka* “this is not for you. this is mine. gtfo.”

Nicky: *crying* “you are the only thing good in this world”

Wymack: “i didn’t ask to have you, but we’re stuck with each other now”

Seth: “we’ve been seeing each other a lot lately and i think we need some time apart so i don’t stab you to death” 

bonus: 

Jean: “this is your side and this is mine and dON’T yOu fUCKing dARe-”

I can’t stop thinking about this for some reason okay so we all know about hockey players and their playoff beards, yes? (lets pretend i know things about sports) what if they had the same tradition in exy? I’m just imagining all these exy boys with their beards please bear with me

  • before and during the pre championship games, the fox boys just stop shaving
  • listen to me
  • kevin with a beard, o shit
  • kevin has one of those beards that grows in real nice, i’m talking like chris evans’ beard except darker
  • he looks fucking beautiful, with his dark hair and his green eyes, he was already a heartthrob before, but exy fans (female and male alike) are losing their pants over this shit
  • neil was aware of this tradition but this is his first time participating
  • he does not want to join in, but matt hid all the razors in fox tower
  • neil cannot grow a beard. it’s patchy, it’s scraggly & itchy and he is NOT HAPPY
  • until andrew starts scratching his fingers through it when he kisses neil (which is even more frequent than before, andrew thinks neil’s ginger ‘beard’ is hot, he wont say so, but thank u playoff beard)
  • matt’s beard grows in real thick
  • dan has forced him into a flannel at least once for that LumberJACKED Aesthetic™️
  • nobody can be in the same room as them for very long, nicky jokes that dan is in heat
  • nicky always wants to look smooth and beautiful but he didn’t want to be left out
  • he convinced erik to join in all the way from germany
  • he skypes erik like 20 times a day complaining that it itches the first week
  • andrew and his blonde beard, please imagine this i’m fuckidngs;skfah
  • neil wants to die
  • andrew looks good with a beard
  • & 12000% more deadly tbh, people literally avoid crossing paths with him in pubic because of his permanent Murder Face™️ mixed with a beard
  • cue neil slipping off with andrew to do dirty things like 25/7
  • when will wymack catch a break
  • they rarely hear from aaron anymore, he’s always with katelyn (having straight person sex, as nicky calls it)
  • even wymack joins in, he looks so burly & intimidating. nicky tries to find out if abby likes it but instead earns himself 5 miles around the court
  • BONUS jean grows out his beard & is speaking french, jeremy is pretty sure he’s gonna have a heart attack, he wont survive championships with this shit
“He puts the Exy in Sexy”  Nicky’s response to an interview when asked about Neil’s physical apperance

ok but

the foxes know its because the interviewer wants to know about the scars and stuff

so Nicky goes on for about an eternity and a half talking about neil’s abs and biceps and have you seen those legs? theyre almost as gorgeous as me 

Andreil heads straight for the locker room

Matt agreeing in the background as Dan cheers

Aaron lowkey wants to die hides from the camera

Kevin stopping by to statistically explain Neil’s Biometrics and his BMI and muscle mass and how he is perfectly fit for exy

Allison and Renee walking by and were asked the same thing

Renee: i think, seeing as this is a sport event, that his physical appearance doesn’t matter as much as his skills as a player

Allison: I’d tap that tbh but his fashion sense is almost as sad as *insert exy team name here*’s game. and we all know how sad that was


and somewhere, across the feild, Wymack sighs internally and externally and prays to god because he is not being paid enough to handle this dysfuntional gang of shit

4

I’ve been looking for the right excuse to draw these characters, so since its Seinfeld day, enjoy “Incorrect Foxhole Court Quotes: Seinfeld Edition”!

I still gotta work on some of the designs, but for now I’m happy.

consider this if you will:

what if tilda had always lived in south carolina where her brother lives

what if she gave up the twins in south carolina so andrew would have been in the south carolina foster system

what if coach david wymack was a foster parent to help kids get a second chance?

what i’m saying is wymack raising andrew and them being the grumpiest father-son to ever grump

Neil handling the after game press a week after their relationship was outed in public

Interviewer: does being on the same team affect your relationship at all?

Neil: not really. i mean, he is a keeper

Interviewer:

Neil:

Interviewer:

Camera man:

audience:

producers:

Interviewer: did you just-

Nicky: *shipping intensifies*

Dan: *proud of his son*

Allison: *wins a few hundred bucks from Matt for something idek*

Kevin: technically, he is a goal keeper i dont know what all this is about

Aaron: someone shoot me 

Andrew: *tries his hardest not to smack neil with his racquet* 

Renee: *tries her hardest to keep Andrew from hitting Neil with his racuet

Wymack: im not paid enough to handle this 

fun things to imagine: the foxes at a buffet

  • after a particularly grueling game, wymack takes the foxes to a 24hr buffet
  • andrew grabs a plate, ignores the dinner selection & makes a beeline right to the desert selection
  • and proceeds to pile his plate(s) with nothing but sweets
  • literally. two bowls of ice cream with various toppings (sprinkles, gummy bears, oreos, who fucken knows), some cake, maybe a brownie, is that a miniature pie, andrew? 
  • he grabs a separate bowl purely for gummy bears
  • kevin is horrified. personally offended
  • the moment he tries to protest, he immediately backs down because andrew has murder in his eyes
  • nicky’s stare is 70% admiration and 30% confusion (how can he eat all this without puking? why can’t I do that????)
  • matt is genuinely concerned
  • “andrew, maybe you shouldn’t e- ok ok ,you know what? you do you, bro. it’s cool. put down the fork, man”
  • dan says absolutely nothing. she values her life.
  • allison is already making bets (she’s got $200 saying he’ll finish the entire plate(s), she makes some good money that night)
  • aaron’s got this look on his face. disgust? wonder? what the actual fuck? how are we related?
  • renee is gingerly shaking her head (she’s praying for him tho lbr)
  • wymack won’t say shit, he knows better, he’s not even looking at him, but let it be known, he is thinking that he will never, never, be payed enough for this shit
  • neil is kinda disgusted, kinda filled with love, but he’s also considering the fact that his boyfriend might not be human because honestly???? how?? where does it go andrew? how can one eat so much shit and remain so small, and so beefed? we’re discussing this later (no they won’t, andrew is gonna tell him to shut up and kiss him stupid & yes his mouth tastes like gummy bears but neil doesn’t care)
Foxhole Court Character Summaries
  • Neil: *no chill*
  • Andrew: *casually stabs people*
  • Aaron: *hisss*
  • Nicky: *gayest to ever gay*
  • Kevin: *protect him*
  • Renee: *angel on earth*
  • Dan: *no time for your crap*
  • Matt: *gentle giant*
  • Allison: *struts thru life*
  • Seth: *rip*
  • Coach: *grudgingly cares*
  • Abby: *willingly cares*
  • Riko: *ScUM oF tHe eaRTH*
a ball hitting Andrew on the face and Neil just...

ok we’ve seen a lot of “Neil gets hit in a game and Andrew goes all the way from the goal to check on his dumbass of a boyfriend” posts

but what about a game where the foxes are wnning becaue Andrew hasn’t let a single ball through the goal and a striker aiming the ball directly at Andrew’s shoulder and andrew ended up deflecting the ball only for it to hit him in the face because Andrew is stll distracted/worrying over Neils earlier hit
then he goes down

lbr tho Neils first instinct would be to check on Andrew but the striker was so much closer so he threw his racquet at him and then pounced on him

  • half of the team sees him and starts panicking 
  • Wymack yelling at everyone on the court to stop Neil
  • the doors open and Renee and Abby goes straight to andrew but knew better than to touch him 
  • Dan, Matt and Kevin had to work together to pry neil off from a now bloodied striker
  • Allison, Renee, Aaron and Nicky are now standing by a half conscious Andrew as Abby does her thing
  • I dont think you’re boyfriend is satisfied with the damage on him just yet
  • not now Allison
  • Wymack was now talking wth the referees and officials and the other coach
  • the game ends in the foxes favor
  • the Freshmen are now sitting quietly on the bench as half the team drags Neil inside the locker room 
  • the team follows and aaron and Nicky are supporting andrew as they walk
  • as they got inside Neil checked on Andrew and andrew just shut up, i already got hit in the head for fucks sake
  • aaron and Neil share a look that can be translated to aaron saying i would’ve done the same
  • kevin scolded both of them for being careless but only shut up when he realized that neither of the two were actually lstening
  • wymack then orders them to hit the showers and get out of my face before my head explodes
  • as they all showered and changed the boy’s locker room was quiet and the freshmen all share silent glances at Neils direction
  • the freshmen girls asks the seniors about Neil
  • “ i didnt know he had that in him”
  • “I thought andrew was the dangerous one”
  • allison laughs
  • Dan and Renee smiles and lets Allison do the talking
  • “Renee here could take the whole team if we gang up on her, you know. matt could punch the life out of anyone who crosses him and anyone he cares about. Aaron already killed a man. Nicky could be annoying and smiley all the time but there’s nothing that could keep him from doing what he needs to to save his family. and i could very much do what Neil just did but the difference between Neil and I, disregarding our own messed up family background, is that i dont owe Andrew my life”
  • the freshmen then dressed silently after they showered
  • but before they got out Dan added
  • “and Andrew isnt the dangerous one here. we all are. he’s just the only one who doesn’t care enough, or maybe cares too much, to disregard any consequence”
  • the girls then share this with the other freshmen
  • lets just say that the freshmen are now more scared of andrew’s lot knowing that Neil’s a part of it
Well, I think I’ve always really enjoyed the fans, I always will. On my dying day, I will think about how great the fans at Indiana were. And as far as the hierarchy at Indiana University at that time, I have absolutely no respect whatsoever for those people. With that in mind, I have no interest in ever going back to that university.
—  Bob Knight on “The Dan Patrick Show" 
  • Andrew: I hate you
  • Neil: lmao i hate me too
  • Andrew:
  • Andrew:
  • Neil: ?
  • Andrew: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU