I can’t stop thinking about this for some reason okay so we all know about hockey players and their playoff beards, yes? (lets pretend i know things about sports) what if they had the same tradition in exy? I’m just imagining all these exy boys with their beards please bear with me
before and during the pre championship games, the fox boys just stop shaving
listen to me
kevin with a beard, o shit
kevin has one of those beards that grows in real nice, i’m talking like chris evans’ beard except darker
he looks fucking beautiful, with his dark hair and his green eyes, he was already a heartthrob before, but exy fans (female and male alike) are losing their pants over this shit
neil was aware of this tradition but this is his first time participating
he does not want to join in, but matt hid all the razors in fox tower
neil cannot grow a beard. it’s patchy, it’s scraggly & itchy and he is NOT HAPPY
until andrew starts scratching his fingers through it when he kisses neil (which is even more frequent than before, andrew thinks neil’s ginger ‘beard’ is hot, he wont say so, but thank u playoff beard)
matt’s beard grows in real thick
dan has forced him into a flannel at least once for that LumberJACKED Aesthetic™️
nobody can be in the same room as them for very long, nicky jokes that dan is in heat
nicky always wants to look smooth and beautiful but he didn’t want to be left out
he convinced erik to join in all the way from germany
he skypes erik like 20 times a day complaining that it itches the first week
andrew and his blonde beard, please imagine this i’m fuckidngs;skfah
neil wants to die
andrew looks good with a beard
& 12000% more deadly tbh, people literally avoid crossing paths with him in pubic because of his permanent Murder Face™️ mixed with a beard
cue neil slipping off with andrew to do dirty things like 25/7
when will wymack catch a break
they rarely hear from aaron anymore, he’s always with katelyn (having straight person sex, as nicky calls it)
even wymack joins in, he looks so burly & intimidating. nicky tries to find out if abby likes it but instead earns himself 5 miles around the court
BONUS jean grows out his beard & is speaking french, jeremy is pretty sure he’s gonna have a heart attack, he wont survive championships with this shit
The art of
motivating Andrew Minyard to reach for something
It all starts on a
Movie night with the Foxes. Andrew gets up to retrieve the booze
(because what’s a movie night without booze?). And as soon as he’s
out of the room, Matt starts grinning. Wildly. Of course, it made him
look suspicious. And of course, everyone would wonder.
“What did you do?”
Nicky finally asks.
“Matt, you did not.”
“Oh, I just did.”
He gets up, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m going to check up
Allison turns to face
Dan. “What did he do?”
Dan sighs. “He put
the booze on…the top shelf.”
“He what?!” Now
even Aaron looked alarmed. “You know he can’t…”
No one speaks; they
know what he’s trying to say. It’s the unspoken thing in the room,
the elephant they refuse to acknowledge; Andrew Minyard stood at 5
feet and the top shelf was at least a foot out of his reach.
is the first one to break the silence. “This will be interesting.”
And it is, because she knows she won’t be the one Andrew will be
destroying when he catches on.
Nicky nods, a
conflicted expression on his face. He’s torn between amusement and
fear; Andrew is terrifying when he’s angry. He glances at Neil,
hoping that he will help restrain Andrew when he lunges at Matt, but
Neil is focused on the TV. Typical. All of this is happening and Neil
just decides to watch the Exy game instead. Kevin too. It’s not
surprising but it is frustrating. “Neil,” He whispers.
Neil doesn’t move or
even turn around to acknowledge him. It’s extremely likely he didn’t
“Neil.” Nicky says
“What?” Neil picks
up the remote and pauses the game. Kevin makes a noise of protest
(Neil ignores him). He turns around to face Nicky.
“Matt’s going to be
killed,” Nicky says, his voice an octave higher than it usually is.
“Only if he’s
caught.” Neil says matter-of-factly.
Their phones vibrate.
Dan is the first one to check it; she beams when she sees the
snapchat. “He did it.”
caught?” Allison opens the snapchat and sure enough- there is Matt
alive and well.
In the photo, Matt is
smirking at the camera while Andrew’s back is turned. Andrew is
desperately trying to reach the booze, with his leg on the counter.
One hand is braced on the counter while the other is in the air,
trying (but failing) to grasp the bottle of booze. It’s such a sad
sight that even Nicky laughs, forgetting the taste of fear on his
Neil smiles at the
photo before snapping his phone shut and turning back to the Exy
// They tell the
others the next day at practice. It’s easy to keep it quiet; Andrew
isn’t interested in their chatter at all. Instead, he’s standing by
the goal while Kevin makes some practice shots.
Abby is intrigued and
listens carefully as Matt recounted the events that took place
yesterday. For the record, Andrew did not win against the booze (Matt
had to go and retrieve it in the end, but not before Andrew shot him
a glare that would have sent him running with his tail between his
legs if he wasn’t so amused). Wymack, on the other hand, is
unimpressed by the news. He shakes his head at the team, but doesn’t
well- they’re banned from playing. The second Matt finished telling
his story, one of them said “nope, I’m out,” and walked out of
the room. They just didn’t understand the thrill and the risk of the
new sport- Matt decides to call it “Minyarding.” It’s
appropriate, he thinks. And cool-sounding.
The second time this
happens, it’s Thanksgiving. See, they have almost forgotten about the
whole thing. Until Abby.
Their phones all
vibrate (this is why no one answers their phone; their phones never
ring) and they all check it at the same time. It’s a snapchat from
Abby; at first it just looks like a selfie. Abby is smiling
innocently, but when they look behind her, they see Andrew. He’s
struggling with the cheese drawer in the refrigerator and despite
Dan’s past reservations about Minyarding, she smiles. And then
doubles over in laughter.
The others follow, and
even Kevin smirks (a rare gem).
“I refuse to be
outdone,” Matt declares.
And it begins.
//Allison is the third
person to step up to the challenge. It happens on grocery week; the
team always takes turns stocking up on items. It’s her turn today so
she had decided to place the groceries high up on the shelves. Not
high enough so she and the others can’t reach it, but high enough so
that Andrew can’t reach it. In her selfie, she haughtily smiles and
poses as Andrew is flailing for the body wash.
Everyone thinks it’s
priceless- even Renee takes a screen-shot of the photo. She’s not
going to get involved (not yet) but it’s amusing nonetheless. She may
be friends with Andrew but well, Minyarding is a beautiful art that
even she can’t deny.
//The next person,
surprisingly, is Wymack. Nicky and Renee come early and find Neil and
Andrew kissing in the locker room; Nicky is excited. He knows it
would be a perfect time for a selfie.
excitedly points at the two. “Aren’t they adorable?”
And they are. Andrew
is standing on his tiptoes, hands resting on Neil’s neck, as Neil’s
fingers run through his hair.
But they’re too slow.
Their phones all vibrate (except for Neil’s and Andrew’s). They
quickly check it. It’s Wymack, unsmiling but there, and behind him is Neil
and Andrew kissing.
“Damn it, Coach,”
Nicky says, under his breath.
Wymack has pulled
ahead (step up your game, Foxes).
//But perhaps, the
most memorable one would be Neil’s. He takes up the challenge because
it interested him; he has been around Andrew the most so he has the
most opportunities to do this.
So Neil takes the
photo after he sees Andrew turn around. But as he sends the snapchat
to the team- he realizes Andrew was looking right at the camera when
he took the photo.
It’s too late to run;
Andrew is standing behind him.
“What were you
doing?” Andrew says in that dangerously low voice of his.
“Uh,” Neil says.
“Taking a photo.”
“While I was trying
to reach for something?”
smiles, aware that he’s playing with fire. “Minyarding.”
“The art of
motivating you to reach for something.” Neil explains.
Andrew doesn’t say
anything for a moment. “That explains why they always tell me to
get the booze- or the groceries.” The realization does not please
doesn’t want to see his team get slaughtered before their Exy game.
“Give me one reason
why I shouldn’t go over there right now.” Andrew says, and he hears
the challenge in his voice.
“Well,” Neil steps
closer. “Yes or no?” He whispers.
Next thing he knows,
they’re kissing. Neil leaves his hands by his sides until Andrew
tells him it’s alright, and then Neil’s hand is caressing Andrew’s
face. Both of them are aware of the warmth emitting from the other-
but the warmth they feel is entirely pleasant. It makes Andrew feel
like he wouldn’t mind waking up in the morning if he gets to feel
that warmth; he’ll never say it but that thought crosses his mind.
For Neil, that warmth is safe- like home. Like the Foxes. He knows he
constantly feels like he’s losing time but this- this
feels like time has stopped. For him. For Andrew. And Neil finds that
he doesn’t mind if time passes. Because it feels right to stand here
with him, with Andrew’s lips on his.
resolution of this story is that the Palmetto State Foxes were spared
(their lives) because of Neil frickin’ Josten and his makeout session
It should also be noted that Andrew refused to retrieve items for the
Foxes from then on.
Nevertheless, Minyarding had become a popular art worthy of the
dictionary (nah, actually Matt was the one who grabbed a pen and
wrote the definition down in the dictionary).
after a particularly grueling game, wymack takes the foxes to a 24hr buffet
andrew grabs a plate, ignores the dinner selection & makes a beeline right to the desert selection
and proceeds to pile his plate(s) with nothing but sweets
literally. two bowls of ice cream with various toppings (sprinkles, gummy bears, oreos, who fucken knows), some cake, maybe a brownie, is that a miniature pie, andrew?
he grabs a separate bowl purely for gummy bears
kevin is horrified. personally offended
the moment he tries to protest, he immediately backs down because andrew has murder in his eyes
nicky’s stare is 70% admiration and 30% confusion (how can he eat all this without puking? why can’t I do that????)
matt is genuinely concerned
“andrew, maybe you shouldn’t e- ok ok ,you know what? you do you, bro. it’s cool. put down the fork, man”
dan says absolutely nothing. she values her life.
allison is already making bets (she’s got $200 saying he’ll finish the entire plate(s), she makes some good money that night)
aaron’s got this look on his face. disgust? wonder? what the actual fuck? how are we related?
renee is gingerly shaking her head (she’s praying for him tho lbr)
wymack won’t say shit, he knows better, he’s not even looking at him, but let it be known, he is thinking that he will never, never, be payed enough for this shit
neil is kinda disgusted, kinda filled with love, but he’s also considering the fact that his boyfriend might not be human because honestly???? how?? where does it go andrew? how can one eat so much shit and remain so small, and so beefed? we’re discussing this later (no they won’t, andrew is gonna tell him to shut up and kiss him stupid & yes his mouth tastes like gummy bears but neil doesn’t care)
Neil’s been in a bit of a brawl with a member of another Exy team
Wymack is furiously trying to hide any evidence of the fight from the public because “What the hell Neil?! Why have you got to be such a vicious little fuck all the time?”
Neil doesn’t care though because a) he’s heard worse from Wymack and b) he was defending himself and Andrew
(Neil 384330728% will not stand for homophobic assholes, especially after what happened to Nicky)
So the fight took place after a match, maybe just before the team was about to go out for celebratory drinks
Neil gets a bashing but gives as good as he gets
He walks away but his face is seriously screwed… again.
Wymack once again employs the use of Allison’s make-up artistry to try and cover up the damage and Neil’s happy to play along
He has to wear it for at least a week
This means he’ll still be disguising his bruises come game day
On game day, everyone’s in high spirits and Palmetto is decked out in their sweaters and carrying banners and the Foxes are hyped for a good match
Before they go to court, Andrew accompanies Neil to Allison’s room and Neil is a little bit like wtf because Andrew rarely seeks other people’s company by choice unless it’s Neil or Kevin
At the same time Neil is secretly smiling to himself knowing that Andrew is waiting for him so that they can drive to the court together
When Allison answers the door she’s taken aback by Andrew’s presence as well and she just shoots Neil a look but Neil just shrugs and pushes past her to say Hi to Renee
Andrew’s still stood in the doorway staring at Allison and she gestures for him to come in
As he passes, he whispers something to her that goes unnoticed by Neil
An hour later, Allison sends Neil on his way, Andrew in tow
They walk to the car together and Neil notices the way people are staring at him
He waves at a few he knows and resists the urge to swear at the ones he doesn’t
Neil is surprised Andrew doesn’t react violently to all the attention they’re receiving
He shrugs it off
When they make it to court, Neil goes in ahead of Andrew
The team are all sat round, listening to Wymack’s pre-match speech
At first Wymack doesn’t look up when Nicky starts to snigger
But then he does and he just looks at Neil and sighs so loudly and Neil is so confused
And then Andrew is behind him shoving something on his head and Renee has snuck in behind both boys and she’s holding a camera and a startled Neil is blinded when the flash goes off and Matt is howling with laughter and Dan is high-fiving Allison and Aaron is completely bored by the whole spectacle
But Kevin… Kevin looks like he could crush bones with his bare fists and he’s out of his chair, eyes on Andrew who is still behind Neil, his expression casual and unbothered
“What the FUCK have you done?”
“He’s a fox so why shouldn’t he look like one?”
“You fucking pissant!
“It covers up the bruises.”
“C’mon, the fans will love it!” Nicky chimes in and of course he’s right because the fans are crazy about the Foxes and Neil who is so intriguing and mysterious and occasionally far too serious
Neil finally cuts in, demanding to see the photo Renee took
The picture shows a very bewildered Neil standing in the lounge with his face painted to look like a fox and a pair of foxes ears on his head.
Renee is to the side grinning wildly
And Andrew is in the background, the smallest of smirks on his lips