Coach Dan

the foxes as popular text posts #1

neil josten: i hate that my first reaction to stress is always Time To Die™ like ok calm down edgelord.

andrew minyard: they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because I keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it

kevin day: me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

nicky hemmick: *walks up to straight couple* which one of you is the bee and which one of you is the fully grown adult woman who left her fiance for the bee?

matt boyd: *begins breakdancing gently* what’s wrong, son

dan wilds: listen, I’m a nice person so if I’m a bitch to you, you need to ask yourself why.

renee walker: it’s all fun and games until you remember the person you were from 2007-2010.

allison reynolds: how to kiss a boy: 1. grab his waist, 2. slip your hand in his pocket, 3. steal his wallet, 4. dont even kiss him, 5. just run.

aaron minyard: Why are there 2 A’s in Aaron? Why not 6? What’s stopping us?

david wymack: you gotta put your heart into it! no. no, not literally– not your actual– no. how did you even manage to get that. is it even yours. put that. away.

betsy dobson: [at a session with neil, about andrew] It’s weird to think that people who are 5ft are only 5 subways long.

abby winfield: always practice safe sex!! until you have mastered it. then you are permitted to practice Danger Sex

The Foxes discover The Floor is Lava Game

so one of the foxes sees the video on their phone and insists that they all have to start doing this which includes:

-dan or nicky usually being the ones to call out “the floor is lava”
-coach threatening to sign them up for a marathon if they don’t stop playing this dumb game (even though he actually enjoys watching them play)
-nicky and allison fighting to the death over the same piece of furniture because they are not getting stuck in the lava!! (there’s another chair right next to the one they’re fighting over but nicky got there first and won’t give up)
-aaron flat out ignoring the game and everyone playing
-aaron finally deciding to play because katelyn is there, but he still stands in the lava while scooping her off the floor
-“but guys we have practice” “oh my god kevin shut up”
-“guys seriously we have to go to practice” “i’m sorry i can’t hear you because you’re being consumed by lava”
-andrew pushing nicky into the lava “by accident”
-neil finds it kinda stupid at first, but he loves how excited all his teammates get when they play so he plays along for their sake
-“andrew you’ve pushed nicky into the lava the past three games that’s not an accident”
-when not battling nicky for the same piece of furniture, allison and renee constantly sharing the same couch to save themselves from the lava as a team

here you are you horny fucks


“Are we s-supposed to be doing this?” Dan stuttered, letting Phil tug his shirt off over his head, tilting his head back to let Phil suck at his throat.

“Probably not.” Phil smirked, chuckling softly. “Do you care?”

“N-Not really.”


This… probably wasn’t the best idea. Not the best lapse of judgement on his part. But he wanted him, so fucking bad. His mouth felt so good against his throat, his brain was going fuzzy.

‘Take control of me’, he thought. Take it, take all of me.

Phil could clearly read minds, because he had Dan turned in seconds, bent over his apartment kitchen counter. That was as far as they had gotten; embarrassing, Dan knew. But did he care? No, not really.

He especially didn’t care when Phil’s cold hands were tugging at his belt, dropping his jeans. Dan let out a small whimper at Phil’s fingers brushing his skin, and Phil slapped his ass.

“No whining, slut,” he growled, leaning forward so he could whisper against Dan’s ear, grabbing a handful of his hair and tugging roughly. Dan moaned.

“S-Sorry, sir,” he choked, and Phil nodded in approval.

“Good boy. Now, are you gonna let me take care of you, sweetheart?”

Dan nodded quickly, incredibly turned on at this point. Because, fuck, how could you not be?

Dan took a shaky breath, feeling his arms being bent behind his back at an uncomfortable angle, and pinned there by Phil’s firm grip. Phil’s erection rubbed against his ass, and he gasped.

“Phil-” he breathed, pushing back, desperate for as much of the man as possible. Phil chuckled, kneading his ass with one hand, digging his nails in.

“Don’t be a needy whore, Dan. You know better than that.” He hummed, tugging down Dan’s boxers and leaning over to kiss the slightly red skin. “Want me to fuck you?” He laughed, like he already knew the answer. Of course he did.

“Yes,” Dan whined, shifting desperately. “Please, Phil, fuck me, fuck me so hard I can’t think, please-!”

Phil didn’t answer, but Dan felt the grip on his hands loosen, and a rustling. Before he could even think he felt something slick press against his entrance; Phil’s fingers.

He started with one, pushing it in slowly, making Dan whimper. He pumped it slowly, resting his other hand on Dan’s lower back, pinning his wrists.

Dan let out a soft gasp as Phil added another, twisting them. Phil smacked his ass again.

“You’re a loud one, aren’t you?” He mumbled. “Don’t get me wrong, I love it. But I have half a mind to gag you, your screams would sound so pretty muffled.”

Dan bit his lip to keep from moaning just from that, his eyes gently rolling back in his head. Fuck, that was so hot.

Phil’s fingers grazed his prostate, and Dan’s hips bucked forward automatically, and he whined loudly.

“Fuck, Phil, please,” he gasped.

He heard Phil chuckle breathily, scissoring his fingers for a second before pulling them out.

“Alright, baby,” he muttered, his voice low. “Whatever you need.”

Dan only had to wait a moment before Phil was pressing against him, pushing in.

Fucking hell, he was big.

“Fuck,” Dan moaned, stretching the word out. He instinctively tried to move his hands, but Phil tightened his grip.

He bottomed out seconds later, filling him up completely and holding still for a second. Dan squirmed, and Phil reached up to tangle his fingers in Dan’s hair, tugging. Slowly, he pulled most of the way out, pushing back in and drawing a loud noise out of Dan.

Dan was overwhelmed; completely hypnotized by the feeling of Phil’s cock pushing in and out of him, practically drooling.

Soon Phil was snapping his hips roughly, thrusting into him hard, making Dan scream. Every breath came with continuous moans, and Phil’s name, over and over again. He was fairly certain he had never been fucked like this before.

Dan came pretty quickly, probably quicker than he should have, but Phil kept fucking into him; chasing his own high. The feeling was overwhelming, and Dan’s noises got gradually louder and higher pitched as Phil overstimulated him.

Phil groaned, digging his nails into Dan’s hip. He pulled out finally, stroking himself so he could come over Dan’s lower back.

The first time Dan regretted it was the next day, right before the game.

That morning he had to change into a turtleneck, a black, wool one that was sure to be too hot, because he had forgotten about the hickeys.

They were everywhere. Even in places he didn’t even remember Phil’s mouth being.

But he truly started to regret it when he realized Phil was going to use this against him.

The game started pretty slow, and Phil’s team was ahead. Dan only glanced over at Phil, who was watching them intently, running his fingers through his messy hair.

Fuck, he was attractive.

But as he turned back to the game, he caught one of Phil’s players shoving the goalie. He blew his whistle, calling a foul.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Phil motioning him over. He quickly called a time out, jogging over.

“What’s up,” he muttered, and Phil smirked, leaning closer.

For a split second, Dan thought he was going to kiss him, but then he went to his ear instead.

Dan cursed his heart for beating faster.

“Dan, sweetheart,” Phil whispered, his voice sickly sweet, and Dan’s blood froze. “You know what I’ll do to you if I lose this game, right?”

Dan swallowed, pulling back slightly. “Is t-that a threat?”

A light smirk tugged at the corner of Phil’s mouth.

“Kind of,” he breathed. “But I think you like it anyways.”

“Excuse me?” Dan’s head was foggy. Christ, get it together, Howell.

“Dan, I swear to god, I’ll fuck you so hard you lose your voice from screaming my name.” Before Dan could react, Phil leaned even closer, his lips grazing Dan’s ear. “If I don’t win, I’ll make sure you can’t walk for weeks. Want you all bruised and pretty for me, fucking ruined.”

A shiver ran through Dan’s body, and he flinched. He could feel his pants tightening. Fuck, he didn’t want to go out there will a boner.

“And if I win?” Phil shrugged, stepping back casually. “Maybe we could get dinner or something, beautiful. Maybe I’ll let you ride me.”

Dan stared at him, gathering his thoughts and shaking off the arousal.

He called off the foul, despite several angry shouts from the crowd.

Phil did it three more times, every time his team fucked up. Dan was sweating, ruined by the end of the game.

Needless to say, Phil’s team won.

  • Neil [to Andrew]: Look, let's just agree to say "I'm sorry" on the count of three. One, two, three.
  • [silence]
  • Neil: Now, see, I'm just disappointed in both of us.
the foxes as things i’ve said to my puppy

Allison: “don’t fucking touch me”

Renee: “we. are. friends.”

Matt: “why won’t you let me love you?”

Dan: “aw, you wanna go out? you- YOU LIED TO ME”

Andrew: “your ability to look cute is the only thing keeping you alive”

Aaron: “stop talking to me” 

Neil: *under attack of love and death simultaneously* “this, this is fine”

Kevin: “can’t even get the fucking ball, fucking worthless little-” or *clutching vodka* “this is not for you. this is mine. gtfo.”

Nicky: *crying* “you are the only thing good in this world”

Wymack: “i didn’t ask to have you, but we’re stuck with each other now”

Seth: “we’ve been seeing each other a lot lately and i think we need some time apart so i don’t stab you to death” 


Jean: “this is your side and this is mine and dON’T yOu fUCKing dARe-”

Nora: Andrew and Neil share an apartment, have two cats, and travel everywhere together.

Me: I know exactly why I’m crying in the club right now.


and how everything revolves around our soft boys, Andrew and Neil

before this begins: neil is not a josten, but a hatford. this is set in a remote town in california, and andrew has pink hair because he wanted renee to test it on him

(part two)

  • andrew joseph minyard, for all intents and purposes, does not want to associate himself with Anyone, if he could help it. 
    • he does his group projects so efficiently, his classmates deem him the lifeguard to all group projects
    • he avoids having to sit in lunch with anyone save for renee and aaron, if he can
    • he’s always on the rush to get home because he can’t take just using pain meds to get rid of the horrible, horrible feeling of disorientation 
    • he also has this long-standing dislike of jocks bolstered by either of 3 things: a) he’s a natural genius, b) he’s gay, and c) aaron had to assault one for getting andrew roofied at the freshman mixer.
  • ENTER: neil abram hatford
    • neil and kevin are new to The States. being friends since neil was eight (when kayleigh finally settled down from bumming around in ireland), kevin and neil were basically stuck to the hip. 
    • they transferred to the US when kevin finally landed himself an exchange program in california, neil because he could, kevin because of his dad, and both because they were tired of the ravens at their old boarding school
    • as soon as the school year starts, both of our lovable idiots join the soccer team (sorry, no exy :( ). they take the same spanish class, the same history class, and even have the same lunch blocks. so basically, they do everything they did back in the UK
  • so technically second year debate team genius Andrew Minyard shouldn’t actually care about first year exchange student and jock Neil Hatford
  • here’s the kicker

Keep reading

The Foxes + Sexuality (Headcanons)

Neil + no label:

Its never been something he’s dwelled on in the past. He never could. He’s never swung either way because he wasn’t allowed to. When he started to pay attention to girls his mother beat it out of him. It’s not that he doesn’t like girls, they’ve just always been dangerous. And guys (before Andrew) never really seemed to be an option before. And now when asked the question he answers truthfully. He doesn’t feel the need to label something that doesn’t need to be labeled. It’s pointless. At least to him anyway.

Andrew + Homosexuality:

 He’s gay, that’s it

Dan + Bisexuality:

Dan’s had boyfriends and only boyfriends up until she started to work in the strip club. Her fellow stage sisters taught her to be more confident in who she was and what she does.. And that eventually led to her discovering her love for women in her senior year of high school. Reagan Martinez, editor of her school’s newspaper, was the first girl to catch her eye. She wouldn’t be the last. And now she has Matt, but that doesn’t make her sexuality any less valid.

Nicky + GAYYYY:

If you even had to read this, I’m severely disappointed in you

Renee + Asexuality:

Even before she was saved, Renee never really felt sexual attraction for anyone. She was always to preoccupied with her gang and family and then surviving juvie and then her new foster mother Stephanie and letting her in to help her be a better person and then the foxes and her degree. Sex was never a priority, nor was it a concern.  Allison asked when was the last time she got laid and Renee didn’t have an answer. She wasn’t interested in sex, she never had been.

Matt + Heterosexuality :

Matt grew up partying and doing illegal things, thanks to his father not caring enough and his mother not being around. He was rich, had inherited fame from his parents and he was attractive. Since he was fifteen Matt has always had a girl on his arm. Different girl, different week. That is until Dan. But he was never one of those STRAIGHT PERSON, you know, the type to say no home before showing any affection to another person of the same sex. It was stupid and he knew that. He even tried to swing the other way once but it just, it didn’t work for him.

Aaron + Demisexuality:

Aaron wasn’t used to people giving a fuck about him. At least, not in the right way that is. He grew up with an abusive alcoholic mother and then found our he had a brother who didn’t show affection. Because of that, he stayed to himself. Never had a girlfriend, never had a boyfriend. No one cared enough to try and when they did, their small attempts didn’t last more then five minutes. Lack of Aaron’s interest being the main reason. That is until Katelyn. That girl wouldn’t quit. At first, she had no intention of being his girlfriend, she just wanted to figure him out and be his friend. He didn’t know why but he never asked. Katelyn was just a good person like that. She stayed long enough to crack down Aaron’s walls. She actually gave a shit. Something Aaron wasn’t used to. She cared about what he said, what he thought, what he’s been through. That was new. And when the deep feelings for her came, so did the sexual attraction.

Kevin + Bisexuality:

Riko kept him caged up like an animal when he was with the Ravens. Relationships were prohibited and he knew that. But then came Thea. He remembers sneaking around to catch a few kisses and sometimes just to talk to the dark skinned girl. She was the first person he felt safe with.  On her last night, they shared a kiss, a passionate kiss that was dangerous but necessary. Jean caught them but he didnt say anything. Kevin was surprised he didnt turn them in but he didnt dare say confront him. After she was gone, Kevin threw himself even harder into Exy, to ignore the heartbreak he felt.  After months of walking on eggshells around Jean, they both were fed up. Jean was the one to confront him. He asked questions and Kevin answered. And then he left. A few weeks later Jean had caught Kevin staring while he was speaking French. Later that day he offered to teach him the language if he wanted. They spent many afternoons studying and practicing it, whether in the library or on the court. Once Kevin had mastered it, during their last lesson, he kissed Jean. It was in the moment but it felt different. A good kind of different and both Jean and him reveled in the feeling of each other’s lips. They never talked about it only about Exy and other miscellaneous things. Two months later, Riko broke Kevin’s hand.

Allison + Pansexuality:

Allison was used to getting what and who she wanted. Their gender identity were never important. If she found you attractive, she made you her’s. Point. Blank. Period

Seth Gordon + Closeted Homosexuality :

Seth had grown up around hypermasculinity and rejected homosexuality his entire life. He did everything he could not acknowledge his own. He took his insecurities out on everyone around him, mainly Nicky. In some ways he was jealous of how confident his teammate was with his gayness. Other ways, he hated it. He dated Allison in hopes to erase it and that relationship was hell from start to finish. He had a crush on Matt and hated himself for it. The more he was around him, the more Seth tried to bury his sorrows in Allison’s lips. Seth took this secret to the grave. No one knew.


Wymack + Straight Ally

Bee + Gay:

She’s happily married to a beautiful women, this is canon.

Abby + Straight Ally

Jean + No label:

Like Neil, he thinks it’s pointless.

Jeremy + Happy Pansexual:

Come on, have you seen him.


I’ve been looking for the right excuse to draw these characters, so since its Seinfeld day, enjoy “Incorrect Foxhole Court Quotes: Seinfeld Edition”!

I still gotta work on some of the designs, but for now I’m happy.