Coach Dan

4

I’d like to think Phil got his revenge. >:)

- Kar

(Pssst… in all seriousness, come on guys, let’s show Dan some support this year! #runwithdan2k15)

Send prompts here and Text Message Submissions here
Neil handling the after game press a week after their relationship was outed in public

Interviewer: does being on the same team affect your relationship at all?

Neil: not really. i mean, he is a keeper

Interviewer:

Neil:

Interviewer:

Camera man:

audience:

producers:

Interviewer: did you just-

Nicky: *shipping intensifies*

Dan: *proud of his son*

Allison: *wins a few hundred bucks from Matt for something idek*

Kevin: technically, he is a goal keeper i dont know what all this is about

Aaron: someone shoot me 

Andrew: *tries his hardest not to smack neil with his racquet* 

Renee: *tries her hardest to keep Andrew from hitting Neil with his racuet

Wymack: im not paid enough to handle this 

I can’t stop thinking about this for some reason okay so we all know about hockey players and their playoff beards, yes? (lets pretend i know things about sports) what if they had the same tradition in exy? I’m just imagining all these exy boys with their beards please bear with me

  • before and during the pre championship games, the fox boys just stop shaving
  • listen to me
  • kevin with a beard, o shit
  • kevin has one of those beards that grows in real nice, i’m talking like chris evans’ beard except darker
  • he looks fucking beautiful, with his dark hair and his green eyes, he was already a heartthrob before, but exy fans (female and male alike) are losing their pants over this shit
  • neil was aware of this tradition but this is his first time participating
  • he does not want to join in, but matt hid all the razors in fox tower
  • neil cannot grow a beard. it’s patchy, it’s scraggly & itchy and he is NOT HAPPY
  • until andrew starts scratching his fingers through it when he kisses neil (which is even more frequent than before, andrew thinks neil’s ginger ‘beard’ is hot, he wont say so, but thank u playoff beard)
  • matt’s beard grows in real thick
  • dan has forced him into a flannel at least once for that LumberJACKED Aesthetic™️
  • nobody can be in the same room as them for very long, nicky jokes that dan is in heat
  • nicky always wants to look smooth and beautiful but he didn’t want to be left out
  • he convinced erik to join in all the way from germany
  • he skypes erik like 20 times a day complaining that it itches the first week
  • andrew and his blonde beard, please imagine this i’m fuckidngs;skfah
  • neil wants to die
  • andrew looks good with a beard
  • & 12000% more deadly tbh, people literally avoid crossing paths with him in pubic because of his permanent Murder Face™️ mixed with a beard
  • cue neil slipping off with andrew to do dirty things like 25/7
  • when will wymack catch a break
  • they rarely hear from aaron anymore, he’s always with katelyn (having straight person sex, as nicky calls it)
  • even wymack joins in, he looks so burly & intimidating. nicky tries to find out if abby likes it but instead earns himself 5 miles around the court
  • BONUS jean grows out his beard & is speaking french, jeremy is pretty sure he’s gonna have a heart attack, he wont survive championships with this shit
Minyarding (finally a fanfic)

based on @natrenwal ‘s wonderful post: http://romanqynch.tumblr.com/post/146484848419/moar-unfinished-art-because-that-is-my-way-of-the (check out natrenwal’s beautiful art)!

//these ideas were natrenwal’s and the last bit about Neil & Andrew were Sophie’s ( @carryonmywaywardsimonsnow )

Title: Minyarding 

Word count: 1,394

//

Minyarding [min-yar-ding]

  1. The art of motivating Andrew Minyard to reach for something

It all starts on a Movie night with the Foxes. Andrew gets up to retrieve the booze (because what’s a movie night without booze?). And as soon as he’s out of the room, Matt starts grinning. Wildly. Of course, it made him look suspicious. And of course, everyone would wonder.

“What did you do?” Nicky finally asks.

“Matt, you did not.” Dan says.

“Oh, I just did.” He gets up, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m going to check up on him.”

Allison turns to face Dan. “What did he do?”

Dan sighs. “He put the booze on…the top shelf.”

“He what?!” Now even Aaron looked alarmed. “You know he can’t…”

No one speaks; they know what he’s trying to say. It’s the unspoken thing in the room, the elephant they refuse to acknowledge; Andrew Minyard stood at 5 feet and the top shelf was at least a foot out of his reach.

“Well…” Allison is the first one to break the silence. “This will be interesting.” And it is, because she knows she won’t be the one Andrew will be destroying when he catches on.

Nicky nods, a conflicted expression on his face. He’s torn between amusement and fear; Andrew  is terrifying when he’s angry. He glances at Neil, hoping that he will help restrain Andrew when he lunges at Matt, but Neil is focused on the TV. Typical. All of this is happening and Neil just decides to watch the Exy game instead. Kevin too. It’s not surprising but it is frustrating. “Neil,” He whispers.

Neil doesn’t move or even turn around to acknowledge him. It’s extremely likely he didn’t hear him.

“Neil.” Nicky says loudly.

“What?” Neil picks up the remote and pauses the game. Kevin makes a noise of protest (Neil ignores him). He turns around to face Nicky.

“Matt’s going to be killed,” Nicky says, his voice an octave higher than it usually is. “By Andrew.”

“Only if he’s caught.” Neil says matter-of-factly.

Their phones vibrate. Dan is the first one to check it; she beams when she sees the snapchat. “He did it.”

“Without getting caught?” Allison opens the snapchat and sure enough- there is Matt alive and well.

In the photo, Matt is smirking at the camera while Andrew’s back is turned. Andrew is desperately trying to reach the booze, with his leg on the counter. One hand is braced on the counter while the other is in the air, trying (but failing) to grasp the bottle of booze. It’s such a sad sight that even Nicky laughs, forgetting the taste of fear on his tongue.

Neil smiles at the photo before snapping his phone shut and turning back to the Exy game.

// They tell the others the next day at practice. It’s easy to keep it quiet; Andrew isn’t interested in their chatter at all. Instead, he’s standing by the goal while Kevin makes some practice shots.

Abby is intrigued and listens carefully as Matt recounted the events that took place yesterday. For the record, Andrew did not win against the booze (Matt had to go and retrieve it in the end, but not before Andrew shot him a glare that would have sent him running with his tail between his legs if he wasn’t so amused). Wymack, on the other hand, is unimpressed by the news. He shakes his head at the team, but doesn’t say anything.

The underclassmen, well- they’re banned from playing. The second Matt finished telling his story, one of them said “nope, I’m out,” and walked out of the room. They just didn’t understand the thrill and the risk of the new sport- Matt decides to call it “Minyarding.” It’s appropriate, he thinks. And cool-sounding.

The second time this happens, it’s Thanksgiving. See, they have almost forgotten about the whole thing. Until Abby.

Their phones all vibrate (this is why no one answers their phone; their phones never ring) and they all check it at the same time. It’s a snapchat from Abby; at first it just looks like a selfie. Abby is smiling innocently, but when they look behind her, they see Andrew. He’s struggling with the cheese drawer in the refrigerator and despite Dan’s past reservations about Minyarding, she smiles. And then doubles over in laughter.

The others follow, and even Kevin smirks (a rare gem).

“I refuse to be outdone,” Matt declares.

And it begins.

//Allison is the third person to step up to the challenge. It happens on grocery week; the team always takes turns stocking up on items. It’s her turn today so she had decided to place the groceries high up on the shelves. Not high enough so she and the others can’t reach it, but high enough so that Andrew can’t reach it. In her selfie, she haughtily smiles and poses as Andrew is flailing for the body wash.

Everyone thinks it’s priceless- even Renee takes a screen-shot of the photo. She’s not going to get involved (not yet) but it’s amusing nonetheless. She may be friends with Andrew but well, Minyarding is a beautiful art that even she can’t deny.

//The next person, surprisingly, is Wymack. Nicky and Renee come early and find Neil and Andrew kissing in the locker room; Nicky is excited. He knows it would be a perfect time for a selfie.

“Look,” Nicky excitedly points at the two. “Aren’t they adorable?”

And they are. Andrew is standing on his tiptoes, hands resting on Neil’s neck, as Neil’s fingers run through his hair.

But they’re too slow. Their phones all vibrate (except for Neil’s and Andrew’s). They quickly check it. It’s Wymack, unsmiling but there, and behind him is Neil and Andrew kissing.

“Damn it, Coach,” Nicky says, under his breath.

Wymack has pulled ahead (step up your game, Foxes).

//But perhaps, the most memorable one would be Neil’s. He takes up the challenge because it interested him; he has been around Andrew the most so he has the most opportunities to do this.

So Neil takes the photo after he sees Andrew turn around. But as he sends the snapchat to the team- he realizes Andrew was looking right at the camera when he took the photo.

It’s too late to run; Andrew is standing behind him.

“What were you doing?” Andrew says in that dangerously low voice of his.

“Uh,” Neil says. “Taking a photo.”

“While I was trying to reach for something?”

“Yeah,” Neil smiles, aware that he’s playing with fire. “Minyarding.”

“Minyarding…” Andrew’s eyes narrow. “What’s that?”

“The art of motivating you to reach for something.” Neil explains.

Andrew doesn’t say anything for a moment. “That explains why they always tell me to get the booze- or the groceries.” The realization does not please him.

“Wait-” Neil doesn’t want to see his team get slaughtered before their Exy game.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t go over there right now.” Andrew says, and he hears the challenge in his voice.

“Well,” Neil steps closer. “Yes or no?” He whispers.

Andrew’s shoulders relax. “Yes.”

Next thing he knows, they’re kissing. Neil leaves his hands by his sides until Andrew tells him it’s alright, and then Neil’s hand is caressing Andrew’s face. Both of them are aware of the warmth emitting from the other- but the warmth they feel is entirely pleasant. It makes Andrew feel like he wouldn’t mind waking up in the morning if he gets to feel that warmth; he’ll never say it but that thought crosses his mind. For Neil, that warmth is safe- like home. Like the Foxes. He knows he constantly feels like he’s losing time but this- this feels like time has stopped. For him. For Andrew. And Neil finds that he doesn’t mind if time passes. Because it feels right to stand here with him, with Andrew’s lips on his.

The resolution of this story is that the Palmetto State Foxes were spared (their lives) because of Neil frickin’ Josten and his makeout session with Andrew.

P.S. It should also be noted that Andrew refused to retrieve items for the Foxes from then on.

P.S. Nevertheless, Minyarding had become a popular art worthy of the dictionary (nah, actually Matt was the one who grabbed a pen and wrote the definition down in the dictionary).

4

I’ve been looking for the right excuse to draw these characters, so since its Seinfeld day, enjoy “Incorrect Foxhole Court Quotes: Seinfeld Edition”!

I still gotta work on some of the designs, but for now I’m happy.

“He puts the Exy in Sexy”  Nicky’s response to an interview when asked about Neil’s physical apperance

ok but

the foxes know its because the interviewer wants to know about the scars and stuff

so Nicky goes on for about an eternity and a half talking about neil’s abs and biceps and have you seen those legs? theyre almost as gorgeous as me 

Andreil heads straight for the locker room

Matt agreeing in the background as Dan cheers

Aaron lowkey wants to die hides from the camera

Kevin stopping by to statistically explain Neil’s Biometrics and his BMI and muscle mass and how he is perfectly fit for exy

Allison and Renee walking by and were asked the same thing

Renee: i think, seeing as this is a sport event, that his physical appearance doesn’t matter as much as his skills as a player

Allison: I’d tap that tbh but his fashion sense is almost as sad as *insert exy team name here*’s game. and we all know how sad that was


and somewhere, across the feild, Wymack sighs internally and externally and prays to god because he is not being paid enough to handle this dysfuntional gang of shit

fun things to imagine: the foxes at a buffet

  • after a particularly grueling game, wymack takes the foxes to a 24hr buffet
  • andrew grabs a plate, ignores the dinner selection & makes a beeline right to the desert selection
  • and proceeds to pile his plate(s) with nothing but sweets
  • literally. two bowls of ice cream with various toppings (sprinkles, gummy bears, oreos, who fucken knows), some cake, maybe a brownie, is that a miniature pie, andrew? 
  • he grabs a separate bowl purely for gummy bears
  • kevin is horrified. personally offended
  • the moment he tries to protest, he immediately backs down because andrew has murder in his eyes
  • nicky’s stare is 70% admiration and 30% confusion (how can he eat all this without puking? why can’t I do that????)
  • matt is genuinely concerned
  • “andrew, maybe you shouldn’t e- ok ok ,you know what? you do you, bro. it’s cool. put down the fork, man”
  • dan says absolutely nothing. she values her life.
  • allison is already making bets (she’s got $200 saying he’ll finish the entire plate(s), she makes some good money that night)
  • aaron’s got this look on his face. disgust? wonder? what the actual fuck? how are we related?
  • renee is gingerly shaking her head (she’s praying for him tho lbr)
  • wymack won’t say shit, he knows better, he’s not even looking at him, but let it be known, he is thinking that he will never, never, be payed enough for this shit
  • neil is kinda disgusted, kinda filled with love, but he’s also considering the fact that his boyfriend might not be human because honestly???? how?? where does it go andrew? how can one eat so much shit and remain so small, and so beefed? we’re discussing this later (no they won’t, andrew is gonna tell him to shut up and kiss him stupid & yes his mouth tastes like gummy bears but neil doesn’t care)
Foxhole Court Character Summaries
  • Neil:*no chill*
  • Andrew:*casually stabs people*
  • Aaron:*hisss*
  • Nicky:*gayest to ever gay*
  • Kevin:*protect him*
  • Renee:*angel on earth*
  • Dan:*no time for your crap*
  • Matt:*gentle giant*
  • Allison:*struts thru life*
  • Seth:*rip*
  • Coach:*grudgingly cares*
  • Abby:*willingly cares*
  • Riko:*ScUM oF tHe eaRTH*

Ok so imagine this:

  • Neil’s been in a bit of a brawl with a member of another Exy team
  • Wymack is furiously trying to hide any evidence of the fight from the public because “What the hell Neil?! Why have you got to be such a vicious little fuck all the time?”
  • Neil doesn’t care though because a) he’s heard worse from Wymack and b) he was defending himself and Andrew
  • (Neil 384330728% will not stand for homophobic assholes, especially after what happened to Nicky)
  • So the fight took place after a match, maybe just before the team was about to go out for celebratory drinks
  • Neil gets a bashing but gives as good as he gets
  • He walks away but his face is seriously screwed… again.
  • Wymack once again employs the use of Allison’s make-up artistry to try and cover up the damage and Neil’s happy to play along
  • He has to wear it for at least a week
  • This means he’ll still be disguising his bruises come game day
  • On game day, everyone’s in high spirits and Palmetto is decked out in their sweaters and carrying banners and the Foxes are hyped for a good match
  • Before they go to court, Andrew accompanies Neil to Allison’s room and Neil is a little bit like wtf because Andrew rarely seeks other people’s company by choice unless it’s Neil or Kevin
  • At the same time Neil is secretly smiling to himself knowing that Andrew is waiting for him so that they can drive to the court together
  • When Allison answers the door she’s taken aback by Andrew’s presence as well and she just shoots Neil a look but Neil just shrugs and pushes past her to say Hi to Renee
  • Andrew’s still stood in the doorway staring at Allison and she gestures for him to come in
  • As he passes, he whispers something to her that goes unnoticed by Neil
  • An hour later, Allison sends Neil on his way, Andrew in tow
  • They walk to the car together and Neil notices the way people are staring at him
  • He waves at a few he knows and resists the urge to swear at the ones he doesn’t
  • Neil is surprised Andrew doesn’t react violently to all the attention they’re receiving
  • He shrugs it off
  • When they make it to court, Neil goes in ahead of Andrew
  • The team are all sat round, listening to Wymack’s pre-match speech 
  • At first Wymack doesn’t look up when Nicky starts to snigger 
  • But then he does and he just looks at Neil and sighs so loudly and Neil is so confused 
  • And then Andrew is behind him shoving something on his head and Renee has snuck in behind both boys and she’s holding a camera and a startled Neil is blinded when the flash goes off and Matt is howling with laughter and Dan is high-fiving Allison and Aaron is completely bored by the whole spectacle
  • But Kevin… Kevin looks like he could crush bones with his bare fists and he’s out of his chair, eyes on Andrew who is still behind Neil, his expression casual and unbothered
  • “What the FUCK have you done?”
  • “He’s a fox so why shouldn’t he look like one?”
  • “You fucking pissant! 
  • “It covers up the bruises.”
  • “C’mon, the fans will love it!” Nicky chimes in and of course he’s right because the fans are crazy about the Foxes and Neil who is so intriguing and mysterious and occasionally far too serious
  • Neil finally cuts in, demanding to see the photo Renee took 
  • The picture shows a very bewildered Neil standing in the lounge with his face painted to look like a fox and a pair of foxes ears on his head.
  • Renee is to the side grinning wildly
  • And Andrew is in the background, the smallest of smirks on his lips
  • Neil turns to Andrew and waggles his eyebrows
  • “Foxy,” He says under his breath, winking
  • “267% I swear to God.”

Mandatory (it’s like the school president is asking for a PR disaster) press conference by the Foxes at the end of the year goes as follows:

“Dan what do you think of the criticism levelled at you as as a female captain?”

Originally posted by it-used-to-be-fun

“Kevin, the Ravens are going to be coming for revenge in a big way over the next few years, you going to wave a white flag any time soon?” 

Originally posted by i-am-zadro


“Allison, how would you describe your sense of style?”

Originally posted by catsinthebelfry


“I can imagine you had to learn a in-depth game strategy to beat the Ravens?”

Neil: 

Originally posted by mansplainedmarxist

“So Aaron how does it feel to have your twin brother dating your new team’s new striker?”

Originally posted by rvphaels

Nicky, whenever one of them has a go at Neil:

Originally posted by wouldyoulikealist

“Matt what are the Foxes plans for next year?”

Originally posted by taropiechronicles


Renee, after all of the other Foxes answers: 

Originally posted by trashybooksforladies

“Andrew have you got any plans for your year ahead as starting goalkeeper?”

Originally posted by aprilsludgate


Coach Wymack ladies and gentlemen: 

Originally posted by adamscottblog

youtube

By the way, here’s a gem of comedy from Rick and Morty.

I’m not gonna say which episode this is from, but this is fucking hilarious. But if you want a hint, anyway, Alex Hirsch was a guest star.

fashionable leash
  • Andrew:*pulls neil by his neck tie* i like this on you, it's like a fashionable leash
  • Neil:and you mock me for my neck fetish
  • Andrew:shut the fuck up. it just makes it easier for me to pull you back from shit you're gonna get into
  • Neil:yeah, sure...
  • Andrew:i swear to god josten, if you don't wipe that smug look on your face right now-
  • Neil:what? you gonna tie me up too?
  • Andrew:a tempting s that sounds, i'd rather have your mouth gagged so you can shut your mouth
  • Neil:is there anything else you're not telling me that you're actually into? because im telling you right now that i do not play dress up
  • Andrew:you little-
  • Renee:uhm, guys, we are kinda eating dinner in a 5 star restaurant and you're making nicky faint
  • could you please just, keep it down a bit?
  • Dan:Aaron! get your ass back here!
  • Allison:pay up Matt
  • Matt:dammit! oh shit.. is nicky ok...?
  • Coach:*sighs exasperatedly*
  • Kevin:*drunkenly sighs exasperatedly*