I feel like I should post more funny teaching stories here

Because I definitely have them.

For example, I have come to learn over the course of holding this position that Japanese school culture festivals are, in many ways, just as filled with zany hijinks as they are in your average anime.

Some highlights from my recent experiences with the mysterious beast known as the culture festival:

-Class 1-B presented a statistical report on this season’s fishing hauls. Sounds boring, right? Nope - it was presented via interpretive dabbing, with all of the class officers in glow-in-the-dark squid masks

-3-A, for their presentation, composed and performed an enka ballad about why our town is NOT famous

-Not to be outdone, 3-C crafted a loving, emotional video tribute to their three years of junior high school…narrated by the disembodied head of former US president John F. Kennedy projected on the gymnasium wall

-2-B made a ping-pong table. Their presentation consisted of walking onstage, saying “We made a ping-pong table” and sitting down.

-Students were allowed to order special lunches from the set festival menu up to two weeks in advance. The vice-principal was meant to pass out notices explaining how many of each item students might order. He failed to do so. A student ordered 28 muffins. The faculty watched in horror as he ate every single one.

where marinette flirts
  • so alya told her to start flirting with adrien if she liked him so much, and the magazines give her step-by-step guides with 15 ~Chill~ Ways to Flirt With Your Crush Without Totally Embarrassing Yourself, so there’s no way this can go horribly wrong, right?
  • okay but marinette has to be realistic, when has anything ever gone right for her?
  • 1. like their instagram and watch their snapchat: okay but marinette already does this, she follows all of adrien’s social media and collects his takes from photoshoots and knows his schedule, and honestly, there’s really nothing he does that she doesn’t know about it? the whole point of watching his snapchat and liking his instagram would be for him to notice her, but it’s not like she can tell him that she does this, because that would be creepy right? but for the most part she thinks she has this part down pat. 
  • 2. make eye contact: and this one is damn near impossible. every time she looks at adrien, and he looks back, her heart turns into a puddle and she wants to melt. but okay, the magazine said to make eye contact, so that’s maintain eye contact, right? don’t look away as soon as he catches her looking. okay, she tells herself. i can do this.
  • adrien and marinette spend the rest of the week in multiple staring contests. alya and nino are extremely confused, but the game catches on, and soon the whole class spends Madame Bustier’s lectures in staring contests with the rest of their classmates. there’s a running scoreboard, and chloe and alya are surprisingly good at the game, which isn’t that surprisingly at all considering how many glare-showdowns they’ve had throughout the year. 
  • adrien just wants to beat marinette once, and how is it fair she’s so good at this??? marinette just wants to know why it’s not working; she hasn’t gone through dry eyes, blurry vision, and headaches for nothing. at this point, she’s read to pour Johnson’s No More Tears shampoo directly in her eyes to get them back to normal. 
  • 3. let your emojis do the talking: 🍆😛:eggplant: :yum:
  • alya sent it from marinette’s phone, and marinette is too busy dying to say anything about it. adrien still buys her eggplants for a month because he thinks they’re her favorite.
  • 4. wave and say “hi” when they walk by: marinette had to quit when her over-aggressive wave nailed nino in the nose and broke it. alya called him “raccoon eyes” for weeks. it didn’t matter though, adrien didn’t even wave back (though it might have been because his best friend was bleeding on the school steps). 
  • 5. invite your crush to hang out as a group: seems easy enough, right? she invites alya, nino, and adrien over for a study group at her house, but alya and nino cancel at the last minute to give her “some alone time with adrien”. only it doesn’t work out that way because she’s forced to actually learn physics when adrien notices she had some troubles with it and tutors her for the rest of the night. 
  • 6. say something simple, then keep the conversation going: marinette had trouble talking to adrien in the first place, so it was a miracle if she even got something simple out. adrien saves her the trouble anyway when he complicates her cat sweater, but it doesn’t go the way she imagined because it devolves into a heated argument over whether chat noir or ladybug was better, and oh my god, how could she be arguing with her crush over how much she sucked?
  • 7. remember what they tell you, and bring it up later: so adrien refuses to speak to her since she said ladybug sucked, and marinette is panicking internally 24/7. she makes him a hat to apologize because it’s summer and it’s blue, and when he asks her how she knew blue was his favorite color, she just smiles and tells him she read it in a magazine article. 
  • adrien looks touched either way while marinette wishes she could sink through the floor because she’d gone nearly a whole year without adrien knowing she read magazine articles about him. 
  • 8. give them a sincere compliment: 
  • adrien: “so what do we know about penguins already for this biology presentation?”
    marinette: “penguins are inefficient walkers…. they’re cute…. but not cuter than you.”
    adrien: “…thanks, marinette.”
  • adrien: “thanks, marinette. you’re so helpful.”
    marinette: “that’s me. i’m always helpful. i’ll always try to help you. you know, like… i’d totally hold a revolving door for you. i know that’s counterproductive, but you’re worth it.”
  • adrien: “god, they never get all the makeup off after a shoot.”
    marinette: “you know, i would really be okay with seeing you without makeup. that’s how much i like you.”
    adrien: “what?”
    marinette: “what?”
  • 9. casually touch their arm when you’re talking: marinette casually strokes adrien’s arm during their next study session.
    adrien: “… why are you touching my arm?”
    marinette: “i’m checking the seam work.”
    adrien: “….that’s my skin though.”
    marinette: “shh, don’t disrupt a designer at work.”
  • 10. offer them a fry: okay, but marinette doesn’t particularly like fries, so she figured she’d find another way to work this in. it happens one morning while she’s about to go to town on her croissant when she overhears adrien mentioning to nino that he’d forgot his breakfast, so she shoves the food in front of him and rushes away. alya can’t stop laughing at agreste’s startled expression when marinette shoved a croissant in his face without prompt. regardless, alya shares her own breakfast when marinette admits she didn’t have anything else to eat.
  • 11. give them something thoughtful: marinette buys adrien a ladybug-spotted scarf because she knows he likes the superhero. he protests when she gives it to him, but she just shrugs and said she owed him one anyway after dissing his favorite superhero before. 
  • the next day he gives her a matching chat noir one.
  • 12. tease them: she can barely keep a straight face when she teases adrien in front of nino and alya about always smelling like camembert. she even buys him three cheese wheels one day, but he only flushes darkly as he shoves them in his bag. she wants to apologize in case she hurt his feelings, but later that day, she notices that the cheese is gone. 
  • man, he must really like his cheese, she thinks in awe, and spends the rest of the day trying to figure out why adrien kept glaring at his bag during class. 
  • 13. steal their hat and put it on your head: adrien doesn’t wear hats, so she stole nino’s instead. adrien spent the rest of the day trying to set her up with his best friend. 
  • 14. ruffle their hair: marinette ruffles adrien’s hair when she walks into the classroom one morning. some strands end up tangled in her bracelet, and the two spend the remainder of class in the nurse’s office as she tries to cut them loose. 
  • 15. sit in their lap: marinette is a little hesitant to try this one, but alya ends up taking matters into her own hands and pushes marinette into adrien’s lap one day while the three of them and nino were visiting a cafe for lunch. marinette is flustered and apologizes profusely, and she finally finds the courage to look into his eyes. but instead of angry!agreste, she seems wide, shocked green eyes as adrien begins to laugh uncontrollably. marinette starts to giggle and shakes her head and it’s not until she looks at him again that she realizes… this whole situation seems really familiar…
  • “…chat noir?” she asks suddenly.
  • “what?” adrien asks. 
  • “what?” alya asks.
  • “what?” nino asks.
  • “oh my god,” marinette says and dies.

Needless to say, flirting was not her forte. But hey, she still got the man in the end, right? …. alright, it’s a work and progress, but still. 

“Carnations” (Part 2)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

thank you to the spectacular @buckyywiththegoodhair for beta-reading! you are a national treasure that must be protected til’ the end of time!

“Carnations” (Masterlist)

It takes you a moment to process what’s happening. By the time realization kicks in, the Student Gov member delivering the carnations is visibly annoyed. She sighs, “I have about twenty more dorm rooms to visit. Could you please just take the flowers?”

You stare intently at the carnations. “This isn’t a joke, right?”

“Oh, this is actually for a YouTube prank channel that we’re launching, and – no, of course this isn’t a joke!” the girl snaps. She thrusts the flowers into your hands and stalks off into the hallway, a large box of carnations propped against her hip.

You mechanically fill up an empty jar with and stick the bouquet in the makeshift vase. Your mind rewinds back to Steve explaining that white carnations would symbolize secret admiration. If only there was a card –

A gasp escapes your lips as you notice a small card tied around the stem of a carnation. You quickly untie the gently knotted twine and hold up the card to your eyes.




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A concept: Bakugou ending up as a teacher

So I had this weird crazy idea in my head and well @moriano indulged me and my crazy idea, and now we have this long ass thing. Haha!

Bakugou ending up as a teacher. I mean, even as a teacher, he’s still a hero. Maybe at one point in his life, he stopped wanting to surpass All Might, and perhaps decided he wants to be a teacher and teach kids the things no one told him before? Things like how it’s okay to be weak sometimes and that strength and power and quirk aren’t everything because honestly no one taught him this before, and he went through a lot of shit because of it. So he wanted to teach kids what he failed to learn before. Of course he’d keep the cursing (because let’s admit it; it’s going to be funny).

Please imagine Bakugou, a teacher, cursing in front of his student. “Okay you fuckers, get in your fucking seats before I explode your asses.”

But you know, he’s a good teacher. A really good teacher. His class is well behaved. His students love him to pieces. Bakugou’s class is always number one. No one in his class fails. Absolutely no one. Because Bakugou’s students adore him, and they want to make him proud. Of course he’s proud, “Keep it up you little shits.”

Bakugou actually being patient with his students, cursing involved of course. He’d stay with them after class for extra lessons if there’s ever a need for it.

“I swear to fucking god, Shun. I explained this ten times. If you don’t get this after I explain it one last time, I’m fucking going the fuck to sleep.” But fifteen explanations of the same problem later and he’s still there. He will teach them, and he will make sure they understand the lesson. He would explain it over and over again in the most simple way he can until they get it, and his students adore him for it. No one ever spent three hours with them explaining the same thing until they finally get it. In turn the students do their best too

Bakugou’s student’s love him so much that they are willing to start a riot to protect his honor.

Sometimes Bakugou finds himself and his class in the office.

“Bakugou-sensei, your students tried to riot this morning.”

Cue Bakugou’s students yelling and making hell on earth because they are deeply offended by something. “Because they called Bakugo-sensei a villain!”

Of course Bakugou lectures them about the mess, but he treats them all to ice cream later anyway. And boy, he knows what flavor each and everyone of them likes; he remembers who’s allergic to what.

There’s also this thing where his students actually don’t want to pass so they can stay with Bakugou, but they also want to pass because it will make Bakugou proud.


Bakugou’s students seeing him with Kirishima at one point, and of course they will want to know more about their favorite teacher.

“Bakugou-sensei… are you and Red Riot dating?”

“What the actual fuck? Where in the seven prisons of hell did you get that idea?”

“We saw you with him yesterday in this restaurant. You’re laughing a lot. So are you two together together?”

“Shut the fuck up, and get back to your seats. We’re having a fucking quiz.”

“Ehhhh?? But yesterday, you said we wouldn’t have a quiz today.”

“Well now we do because you nosy brats pissed me off. Okay number one you fuckers.”

Another Bonus:

Kirishima having a lecture about being a good social hero in Bakugou’s class.

“Okay, any questions?”


“What the fuck you brats? That’s not even related to his lecture what the actual fuck?”

And also:

“You’re cool and all, Red Riot, but if you hurt Bakugou-sensei in anyway… we will end you and show you hell. Do you fucking understand?”

Because let’s face it, Bakugou’s students are bound to pick up on his cursing sooner or later.

Kirishima is half amused and half horrified.


I feel like Oso would be that one super chill teacher that everyone loves and even he would fuck with the kids. Never any tests in his class. Almost no homework ever. He teaches the lessons but usually gets bored half way through and just tells his class everyone gets a participation grade. Even if you don’t show up on time he’ll be very understanding. Very laid back

Ichi would be that one whiny teacher that would complain to the kids that he shouldn’t be there, he should be in an alley feeding stray cats. Not to much homework, to much energy to grade it all. He actually likes the quiet introverts and the emo kids because they are most of the time quiet and aren’t disrespectful do their not much to deal with. Not many kids enjoy his class, he teaches the lessons just not very well…Grumpy most days unless you bring him cat treats then you’ll be the teachers pet (ha)

Kara would be that teacher that thinks he’s hip but he’s straight up cringey af, kids will constantly make fun of him behind his back. If someone pissed him off the period before you, your class can expect homework. Most kids love him despite his cringeyness. Kids will still visit his class years later to just say Hi to him. Relaxed until you push him off the deep end then it’s the principals office for you.

Not much to say about Jyushi just that one gym coach that the athletes love, but Jyushi would treat everyone the same and he is there just to have fun. He let anyone do what they want and he hopped in all the activities the kids were playing each period. Usually gets over excited and beats the kids at everything. Obviously no homework lmao. He gets confused with the grading process so most of the time the others will help enter participation grades for him. Happy everyday no matter what and loves all his kids

Oh god Choro… He would be that one super fucking uptight teacher that literally even the smartest kids hate. He would be a very good teacher but kids would find his lessons boring and tend to fall asleep. Shit load of homework everyday, test every Friday, Vocab Quiz every Monday. Kids would squirt hand sanitizer in his coffee when his back is turned. Or even try to shoot pencil lead in his mug from across the room. Put thumbtacks in his chair, write things about him on the chalkboard like “Mr. Matsuno still lives in his moms basement and faps to Miss Hashimoto in the class closet!” fills his car with bees, make small noises in class that would piss him off but he didn’t know who was doing them, boy if you get caught… Expect to fail his class and principals office you go. He hates 95% of his kids, and is very happy when he gets to school but wants to die when he’s about to leave just from all the shit the kids do to him.

Todomatsu would be the hip teacher most loved. He would communicate with kids and share his social media with his kids and talk with them. Doesn’t teach very well because he sits at his desk playing Candy Crush when he’s not talking to his kids about Snapchat drama. The reason why ‘most’ like him and not everyone is because he gives Test every Friday but forgets to teach the lessons to the kids. But he ends up realizing this a lot and offers a shit load of extra credit at the end of the semester. Chill most days (unless he doesn’t get his coffee)

There are certain things that happen at Elsewhere University. Sometime your roommate goes missing and is replaced by something intolerable, or you sing just a little to well, a little to close to midnight. Sometimes that project thats worth fifty percent of your grade goes missing overnight, replaced by a pile of acorns and a single vial of something that glows and never look the same twice. Sometime, you have no choice but to go on a Quest.

When that happens, you can go into the teacher offices at midnight, English when the moon is waxing, Philosophy when its full, and Art when it waning, and meet with the Teacher.

They teach no classes, have no posted office hours, never go to board meetings, and have tenure. They are not Gentry, but that are also not human. They work all hours in their studio, making things never seen or heard by the lucky.

If you are respectful, and never look to closely at the papers on their desk, and present your case clearly and with conviction, they will smile, with teeth just a little to white. They will tell you how to hold yourself, and teach you how to speak in riddles. And if you are strong and brave and filled with fire, they will give you a Gift of silver and iron. 

Those who seek the Teacher almost always from their Quest alive, but not always whole. They always feel watched. The Gentry have a love for the well spoken, and the Teacher teaches well.

  • Tumblr users: Why are all shows full of white characters?
  • Class fans: Well--
  • Tumblr users: God, why does every LGBT+ character gets treated horribly in all shows and is eventually killed?
  • Class fans: You know Class has--
  • Tumblr users: Why do some shows romanticize mental illnesses and severe incidents such as panic attacks?
  • Class fans: One time in Class--
  • Tumblr users: Why can't there be a diverse show?
  • Class fans: Actually Class--
  • Tumblr users: When will there finally be a show like that?!
  • Class fans: *look into the camera like they're on the office*
Ten Years (Part 8)

Summary: AU. When a major account is on the line at work, reader is forced to revisit some old connections at her ten year high school reunion for a chance at success. Will she let the past consume her, or will she see the future in her grasp?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,475 (minus the flashback) (yes I need to stop)

Warnings: language, sarcasm, fluff, mentions of past cheating, drinking, potentially anxious situations, confrontation, crying (every chapter has the same warnings because I’m melodramatic)

A/N: Tags are closed. I rewrote this whole damn thing again, and I’m an angsty bag of trash today, so it’s completely reflected here. I kept asking myself out loud, “Why are you like this?”

Part: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 -

Originally posted by sebjpeg

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anonymous asked:

Ok so where "do I find the ENXP crowd"? Preferred habitat? Likes? Mating rituals? What to do if I spot one? Do they bite?

Haha, okay, I’m glad you asked because I’ve been procrastinating on making a post like this for awhile and now I gotta. So here goes. Also guys, I’m dividing this male/female so I’m sorry if it doesn’t apply to you, but I don’t have time for any more descriptions (this is gonna be long)

As written by a female ENTP who knows many ENXPs…

How to find ENTPs


  • Male ENTPs look like the rest of the typical dudes around at first glance. But on closer inspection, they probably have a haircut that is supposed to be trendy but isn’t well-maintained and they also probably have crazy socks, or a crazy scarf, or are making some sort of stupid joke as you observe them
  • They joke all the time. Like there is not a time when you’re talking to them and they’re not thinking or talking about jokes. Could be memes, funny animals, slogans or advertisements…really just anything humorous. And they spew it.
  • They’re the annoying ones in the room. ENTPs are called “class clowns” but honestly I don’t find that to be a super accurate description of us since we’re pretty darn ambiverted. So it’ll be the guy in your class or office that’s really annoying yet funny and has outrageous philosophical or political views. Or has a crazy backstory/family life. Something crazy, I promise
  • Can be pretty shy or socially awkward, many ENTPs have Asperger’s
  • They are very silly and tacky. They wear comical shirts, have smirky expressions all the time, and are actual super softies. Like we’re talking hopeless romantic softie if they’re not super unhealthy. The stereotype is that ENTPs are “bouncy” with relationships and go from partner to partner, but that is largely untrue for both sexes. We may have a lot of partners, but we typically go into the relationship at least trying to make it work long term. It’s only that we break up with people a lot based on the fact that we feel like there’s a lot of stagnancy/we get bored/think that our partner is incompatible with us since we’re “hiding” our true selves, etc.
  • Really bad at using social media 
    • Most guys only have a few pictures on their pages, if they have a social media page at all (this is personal experience, not true for all of them, just seems to be a trend)
  • Wide variety of skills/ineterests/hobbies
    • ENTP friend loves skiing, lifting, exercising…and then is unhealthily obsessed with pug puppies and memes
  • Are usually friends with the STP crowd or the NF crowd, either or
    • Does usually have another NTP friend that’s pretty close to them

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15 Things No One Tells You About College

1. Be prepared to walk! 

2. 8:00 am classes aren’t always a terrible idea.

3. Not everyday is the best time of your life like the movies make it out to seem.

4. Gap time a.k.a. time between your classes are a thing you’ll love and hate. 

5. You won’t always make friends with people right away including professors.  

6.  Not everyone you meet is meant to stay in your life. 

7. Everyone feels a little lost and confused at times.

8. Research papers are a breeze if you know how to research.

9. Don’t feel like you have to take every opportunity that comes your way.

10. At some point you’ll feel like you might be falling behind your friends or classmate. Maybe they got an internship you wanted. Just know your time will come as well. Be patient and keep trying.  

11. It is okay to want to remain anonymous in certain classes. 

12. Going to office hours is helpful but it isn’t the end of the world if you don’t go. 

13. There is something special about being on campus when it’s nearly empty. 

14. Most campuses have resources for almost everything just keep looking. 

15. It is okay to graduate and still not know what to do or where to go. 

WWII Firearms in Iraq Part 1

Part 2 // Part 3

In the 2003 invasion of Iraq and subsequent occupation by American forces, history wormed its way into the hands of insurgents, who used whatever weapons they could lay hands on to fight the invaders. It was not uncommon to find firearms better suited for the museum than the battlefield.

Rifle, Anti-Tank, .55in, Boys. British anti-tank rifle of WWII, the Boys was single shot, bolt-action and fired a .55 round which could penetrate up to 23mm of armor plating. The weapon was heavy, cumbersome and had enough recoil to break a person’s shoulder.

M1 Garand. Of course the finest firearm of the war would find itself in Iraq. A testament to its ruggedness and reliability, though the 6.25 million Garands produced might have had something to do with their survival on the modern battlefield. Fired the standard .30-06 round/

Browning M1919. The US military’s standard medium machine gun of WWII, the M1919 saw service with most of America’s allies during the war in some function. This M1919 finds itself quite out of place next to a Chinese Type 69 RPG and RPG-7.

Another M1919 finds finds its way back into American hands. This version has the conical flash hider usually used on the M1919A6 variant.

Gewehr 98. Germany’s workhorse for WWI and serving well through WWII in the reserve, the Gewehr 98 utilized Paul Mauser’s controlled-feed, bolt-action system, which would become one of the primary bolt-action systems in the world. With some 9 million plus Gewehr 98s produced, there probably isn’t a conflict in the world that hasn’t seen the Gewehr 98 used in some quantity.

Here we have a unique, custom variant of the Gewehr 98, used for sniping. The barrel has been covered in a shroud and a non-standard scope attached to the receiver.

P08 Luger. The most famous pistol of Nazi Germany, the P08 was an icon of WWII and the Wehrmacht officer class. The Luger was a highly sought souvenir during the war. It’s not clear from the picture whether this is an original Luger manufactured between 1900 to 1942, or a more recent reproduction.

I want to know how well this thing would work in battlefield conditions in Iraq. I can’t imagine it would do well with all the sand. 

Save Me. (Yoongi x Reader) PROLOGUE.

“It swallowed me, this lunatic. Please save me tonight. Within this childish madness, you will save me tonight.” - [“Save Me” - BTS]

Summary: It was an unprecedented love that bloomed within the halls of your high school, until secret words were overheard, and shattered the budding romance. It changed your life forever, leading you down a path you had never thought you would be on– training to become a secret agent. You chose it to escape Yoongi and the results of how things ended between you two, but as fate would have it, that very same choice ended up leading you right back to him. Will you be able to save your clients and solve mysteries together despite your history? Will you be able to save each other? Will you able to save yourself…from yourself?    

Yoongi x Reader (ft. Jin & all the other BTS members)

Secret Agent AU

Mystery, Action, Angst, & Fluff (contains some violence, mentions of murder, death, and bullying)

PARTS: Prologue | 1  | 2 | 3

A/N: Hi everyone ~ Sorry it’s been a little while since I’ve updated! But I’m happy to present to you my new story ^_^ & CONGRATS TO BTS FOR WINNING TOP SOCIAL ARTIST AT THE BBMAS WOOOO! Let me know if the “Keep Reading” link doesn’t work!

Originally posted by ohbaibeeitsyou

           It was a cliché high school love story, without the happily-ever-after.

           You were one of the quietest and most diligent students in your high school, a shadow to most students, but preferred and known by all the teachers. On the other hand, Min Yoongi was extremely popular and beloved. You two were different ends of the spectrum; your orbits were never meant to interact. Gravity shouldn’t have pulled you in stronger than it did.

           And it wasn’t love at first sight. Definitely not.

           In fact, you were hardly concerned about the people around you, merely pleased with a good book under your nose. Until one day…

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Distraction (M)

Originally posted by jonginization

2 requests combined

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 2845

The atmosphere was thick and heavy as you impatiently tapped your pen on your notebook, watching the seconds tick by on the clock displayed on the wall above the whiteboard. It was the only place you could look to stop your skin from heating up, and it was all because of him.

To say he was a distraction was an understatement. The way his muscles would flex underneath the fabric of his well-fitted dress shirt, the way he would bite his plump lips in concentration, even the sound of his smooth voice was enough to make your heart hammer against your ribcage.

You made the mistake of glancing down, which led to you catching his eye. Time seemed to stop for a second as your gazes locked. He stopped mid-sentence and his mouth hung open as he returned your wide-eyed stare. You instantly felt the temperature rise, and you swear that your cheeks were probably flushed a bright red. You were the first to look away and time resumed its normal speed as you chastised yourself for letting your mind wander towards more intimate thoughts. “Stop it,” you inwardly scolded yourself. “He’s your professor for God’s sake.”

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Crave (Seokjin/Reader)

Hogwarts!AU Mini Series | One · Two 

Originally posted by yo-seokjin

Genre: Smut - Hogwarts!AU

Words: 2.6K+

Author: Admin Kaycie

Summary: The freedom of your last year as a student at Hogwarts proved to be the most exhilarating and eye opening experience you had ever lived through in your entire nineteen years of life..

Tags: Titty fucking, cum play, dirty talk, mentions of masturbation, fingering, clothed sex, daddy/slut!kink

Note: To clarify any confusion, I am reposting my old fics from BGS/theofficialrapmom here on HOBI since I previously removed them from Tumblr. Please do not attempt to send in plagiarism claims, as I assure you, I am the original content creator. For any questions, please feel free to contact me privately off of anon. Anonymous messages in regards to the reposting may be deleted if deemed rude/hateful.

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✮  - must find a place where to spend the night // here (w/ ceo!yoongi)

The sight of Yoongi on your sofa as he idly channel surfs with a remote in his hand is oddly… pleasing. His coat is hanging on your rack, his sleeves undone, tie loosened, slacks tugged up as he sits comfortably. You didn’t know how to structure your words in a way where it’ll make sense to how you’re feeling but if you had to try it was refreshing. You’re so used to seeing him in a lavish office, high class restaurants and extravagant events.

This… was new.

You head out from the kitchen with a cup, setting it down in front of him and he flinches, straightening his back as he adjusts to your presence (despite feeling it the moment you welcomed him in). He nods in gratitude and retrieves the tea you’ve made for him, avoiding your gaze when he can feel it against the side of his face as he takes small, slow sips.

When Yoongi sets the porcelain on the glass surface, he presses his lips at your question of: “So, you wanna tell me what happened?”

Even at a time like this, Yoongi is still Yoongi (hardheaded and stubborn), “…no,”

Since this was your house, being your territory, you lean against the armrest behind you and pull your feet up to hug your knees. Tilting your head with a smile Yoongi catches, he looks away the moment your eyes meet.

“Oh, really?”

“It’s nothing,” He waves a hand and you only scoff with the rolling of your eyes but kept to a minimum because he’s still-”My boss shows up at eleven into the night, no wallet, no ID, no nothing and he claims ‘it’s nothing’? Hey, I’m merely just an employee but I’m not stupid,”

Yoongi clicks his tongue, turning his head to meet your gaze as he threatens himself to say you really are if you still don’t get why out of all places I came to you for help but he bites that back. Not when you’re looking at him like that, nope, not with those pair of eyes. Hell no, not tonight.

He only sighs and exhales deeply before looking at you dead in the eye and at the back of his mind he wonders if you’re shitting bricks because he sure as hell is.

“I lost my wallet and I was nearest around your area,”

You wait a little, and Yoongi only looks at you weirdly when you keep silent.


“…that’s it? No backstory, no buildup?” 

He scoffs and turns to meet you, almost mirroring how you’re sitting when he puts his feet up because you are, “You didn’t ask for a story. You asked for a reason,”

“…what if I wanted a story?”

“Do you have wine?”

“Do I get OT?”

“You get two hours off your next lunch,” He sees how you’re about to accept but he throws in: “But you have to spend it with me,”

He doesn’t know if he wants to slam his head against the wall for how oblivious you are at the clear fucking bait he just threw out, a discrete go out with me for lunch or if he wants to catch his heart from flying out of his ribcage at how giddy you are, rising to your feet to retrieve some wine with deal!

For now, Yoongi thinks, let’s just enjoy this.

When We Collide

Pairing: Assistant!Y/N/CEO!Luke

Rating: PG-All

Request: Yes

Words: 4.000+

Summary: He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand?

”So what you’re saying is that I woke up this morning expecting everything to be butterflies and rainbows, called my chauffeur to pick me up and wasted gas all the way over to my office just because you couldn’t satisfy my request?”

Luke’s tone rose by each word that left past his pink lips, his eyebrows furrowing and his marker rolling between his fingers.

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