“No Chris.” you sighed as you picked up the glasses from the table. “I am not going to join your super villain group because you don’t like Dave, okay?” you added.

“It’s more than just that babe! We could share this super awesome hide-out together! We can have a pet shark! Look!” he attempted, pointing to the shark in the tank. “Just imagine all the super hot villain se-” 

“Chris.” you warned, glaring him down.

“Sorry, but come on. The other guys are teasing me because you aren’t a villain!” he explained.

“Aww. Poor baby. Do you want me to tell mommy?” you mocked. “And the answer’s still no.”

Chris sighed, grabbing the glasses out of your hand and throwing them behind him. You could hear the glass breaking behind him, and Katarina stared at him, unimpressed.

“Why did you do that?” you asked.

“I didn’t want to throw it at the wall.” he stated

“I’m not joining.” 

You know, I’ve always been sympathetic to Chris D'Amico in the first Kick-Ass film, and maybe I’m just slow, but I never realised how happy Chris got when he saw Dave approach him at the comic book shop before his bodyguard jumped in to tell him to “fuck off” at the beginning of the movie.

I didn’t notice the betrayed look Chris sent his bodyguard’s way after that, either.

Added to the the commentary between Dave and his friends about how he was always by himself; Chris D'Amico really was extremely lonely.

That’s really quite heartbreaking. Now I just think of how different he could have been if they had become friends at the beginning…


“Frantic Fighter?” Chris asked from the passenger seat. The two of you were discussing names for his Villain costume, and none of them were any good.

“Nancy Dude?” he asked again

Really? That’s probably the worst one.” you told him.

“Fine. What about Super Secret?”

“Chris, baby. You are terrible at this.” you added.

“Oh! I’ve got it! The Motherfucker!” he grinned.

“Oh god.” you mumbled.

Is it strange if you wish you looked even just a little like a male character or want to be a character who’s male all the time?

What Dating Chris D’Amico Would Be Like
  •  Him trying to be overly sweet so you’ll agree with his plans.
  • Trying to get him to come up with a semi-decent villain name.
  • Him going shopping with you to buy tights .
  • He’d constantly just show up at your house with all of his villain friends.
  • Taking you to hang-out as a lazy date.
  • Him trying to persuade you to let him buy another shark so he can have a shark army.
  • Sex. A lot of mind-blowing, sex.
  • Him trying to keep you inside because he’s scared the heroes will take you.
  • Buying like 50 cars just because he can.
  • Him being a sweetheart when it’s only the 2 of you.

For the Anon who requested a Red Mist Wedding.

I don’t own Kick Ass.

The wedding was beautiful, Chris had spared no expense for your big day. All of your friends and family had celebrated this special day with you. Your Dad walked you down the isle and your mother cried, even from the end of the isle you could see Chris tear up a bit when he saw you. You rocked your dress and you looked like a goddess. Chris’s and your vows were fill with so much love and a lot of tears. The reception was large and outside under a beautiful white tent with an open bar. The cake was beautiful, it was a three tier marble cake with Red,Black and White fondant all over and it had fondant roses cascading all down the sides. The first dance that was shared was with the song I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith. He held you close while you both swayed to the music. You both wanted to stay in that moment forever.It was a magical day for both you and Chris, you both will never forget it and the love you both share.

Thank you for the request! I loved doing this so please send some more in!
~ Much Love,