Sometimes I completely lose my moral compass, and I think:

“Fuck.  I’ve lived in San Francisco for too long.  Shit is too crazy here.  I’m going to Hell…we’re all going to Hell.  What would my grandmother think?”  Then I open my Facebook…I see what my friends (and my friends’ friends) are up to, and it all seems totally fucking worth it.

Chloe Newsom and Elza C. Burkart by Brandon Burkart. 

A Scumbag’s Guide to Portland – Part 1

By Chloe Newsom

“Portland: the city of food carts, strippers, ex-junkies, current junkies, bike messengers, craft beer, babes, and bars. This fantastic little real-life version of Never Never Land is both beautiful and charming, though sometimes it’s not hard to see why the kids drinking 40s mid-afternoon in San Francisco’s Dolores Park are baffled by the lack of motivation (some) people tend to exhibit here. Portlanders, when in their natural habitat, tend to adopt a “jack of all trades” mentality, made easier due to the readily available amount of rooms for $250/month, so long as you’re willing to live with a feral cat, a modern artist who may or may not use parts of the feral cat to create their art, a 78 year old writer, and foodcart chef hopeful. Don’t think that this isn’t the best city in the world, because, to me, at least, it is. It just takes a couple tricks and tips to get by here. So first off, let’s start with a guide to Portland, for my kind of people, by my kind of people, from A to Z.”

(continued after the jump)

Chloe is my friend…and also one third of the Legion of Doom which includes musician Joanna Newsom and California’s Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom.
A Day in the Life of the Modern San Franciscan

“I check-in to my apartment on Foursquare, which I’ve named something cute and clever because for some reason I think people actually care what I call my apartment on a mobile application named after a children’s playground game. They don’t. I just wanted the mayorship, let’s be honest.”

via Chloe Newsom, who does not check in on Foursquare.