Chicago-in-the-morning

Team Angry Cat

Last year, I went to a con in Chicago. On Saturday morning, I took the elevator from my room (fourth floor) to the con suite (second floor). Also on that elevator: a dude taking it to the first floor. As soon as I pressed the button, he said chidingly, “Two floors! Should’ve walked it.” And then he literally, actually tutted at me. “Tut tut tut” went the arbiter of everyone else’s body and abilities. Just so I’d know for sure that I’d been bad and been judged for it.

Now. There were a couple of conversations we could have had at this point. I could have told elevator dude the truth: that I have lupus (please please don’t make the House joke; you have no idea how many times I’ve heard the House joke, and I promise you that sometimes it is in fact lupus), so I keep an eye on my energy and pain levels and try to save some of whatever ability I have for later. That I’m especially careful to do that when I’m at an event or traveling, because I don’t want to be in my room exhausted or in pain when a thing I really wanted to do is happening two floors away, and I really don’t want to be in pain and out of energy while traveling in modern American airports (apparent motto: “If you can’t stand for four hours and run two miles full-tilt while carrying two weeks’ supplies, lol no go fuck yourself”). So I’m careful. I don’t push it. In the mornings, I might take the elevator, which the hotel did, after all, install for people to use.

I could also have told elevator dude to go fuck himself, which is the other honest conversation we could have had at that point. It is seriously none of his business whether I use the stairs, or the elevator, or rappel down the outside of the building, or maybe just dissolve into primordial ooze and drip down the walls.

But, you know, confrontation is another energy burner. I wanted to save my energy for having fun with my friends, the people I came to see. So I said something non-committal. Elevator dude wasn’t done, though. “You should always find the stairs, first thing when you check into a hotel,” this dude who was maybe ten years older than me and in no way my father said. “Did you know you’re not allowed to use the elevator during a fire? Whenever you check into a hotel, you should think: what if there’s a fire?”

Indeed, elevator dude. What if? What if, in my second decade of staying alone in hotels, you had not come along to tell me how to do it? I might have done it wrong, and then I would surely have burned to death in a fiery inferno, just as I have at least once a year throughout my adulthood, despite my mother giving me pretty much exactly those instructions back when I was seven and actually needed them.

Fortunately, at that point, we arrived at the second floor. I headed to the con suite and settled in. Some minutes later, I mentioned the mansplainer in the elevator and his profound concern for my well-being in case of fire. I didn’t complain about the “should’ve walked” comment, largely because I didn’t expect any support for it; I know an apparently able-bodied (and fat!) woman taking the elevator is cause for judgment in this world. (In some places, going by the general response, it’s borderline actionable.) And most people at that particular table didn’t know the details of my medical status, since in general, when given the choice between talking with my friends about lupus or talking with them about people banging, or being unicorn space eagles, or both, I tend to choose the pointy space birds and their sexytimes.

“Why would anyone say that to you?” one of the women at the table asked, in that mystified dudes-why-are-you? tone. “How does that even come up?”

So I explained about how we got on the topic of elevators. As soon as I said, “He said I should’ve taken the stairs,” ten women around the table looked up and angry cat hissed in unison. It was like they’d rehearsed it for weeks after months of watching angry cats and studying their motivations. Truly a beautiful moment.

From this experience I learned some things:

  1. Support matters. Those women and their instinctive and audible anger didn’t just make me feel better; they actually changed the way I remember the event. They became what was important about it rather than elevator dude. His judgment has become small and insignificant to me, and in fact I smile when I think about him, because he’s inextricably linked to that moment ten people became Team Angry Cat for me.

  2. A lot of times, I don’t reach for support because I don’t expect it. I don’t talk about the random elevator dude type aggravations of life, because I assume there’s a good chance most people will side with the elevator dudes of the world. It’s worth it to find the places where that isn’t true. And it’s worth it to reach for support when I can.

  3. I need to look for more chances to be on other people’s Team Angry Cat. I don’t need to know about that person’s life or judge their worthiness; if they’ve experienced harassment or microaggressions, I’m gonna try to support them.

  4. I’d pay significant money for a YouTube series that was just ten women angry cat hissing at ability enforcers and mansplainers and dudes shouting “smile, baby!” at random ladies and so on.

Oh, yeah, and to the ten members of that particular Team Angry Cat: thank you. You’re the best, and I will hiss for you anytime.

Co Workers (Part Thirteen)

A/N: Sorry this one isn’t as long, I’ve had some writer’s block this weekend and it literally took me forever to write this, so it’s a bit of a fluff chapter, but I really wanted to get it out for you guys today <3 

Pairing: Misha x Reader

Warnings: Talks briefly of abortion, and mentions of abuse.

Word Count: 2k

Catch up here! Co Workers MASTERLIST

Originally posted by casandean


Steam started to roll from the shower, you got up and turned the hot water down some so that it wouldn’t run out, then sat back down and pressing the return call button next to Andrew’s name. It rang once before you heard a voice on the other end.

“Y/N?”


“Andrew, I uh, was just calling you back?” you were still unsure of why you’d called him.

“Did you listen to any of my messages?” he asked you.

“Uh-no.”

You heard Andrew take a deep breath on the other end of the phone,

“Y/N, I want you to come back to LA with me.”

Keep reading

GoT fanfic: White as Snow (Part II)

Tumblr - JONERYS Appreciation Week

Day 3 Prompt: Modern Day AU

Three Part Short Story Fanfic / Modern Fairy Tale / Modern AU

Ratings:Teen+ (Part II)

Read Part I (link)

Summary: A modern Cinderella Story of a child whose world is turned upside down after the death of a parent. This child made to feel inferior, and in servitude to their own family. Will the love of another help pull them out of their darkness.

PART II: Silver Spoons

++o+ Age 17 +o++

Daenerys and Jon kept in touch over the last two years, mainly exchanging the occasional email and a quick phone call on birthdays. The night of their first kiss was never discussed, as though it never had happened.

Another thing the young friends avoided was conversation about anything romantic in their separate lives. It was an unspoken rule between them. With Dany living in Chicago and Jon in New York, both knew that a romantic relationship would not work. So they enjoyed their friendship.

Dany did go on occasional dates, but nothing serious. There was never anyone that made her feel the way Jon did. No one that made her care enough. She wouldn’t even kiss them, she just knew it wouldn’t mean anything.

So why bother? She would always think.  

Jon had Catelyn Stark to contend with, she always made it clear that he was not part of the family. Just a burden she had to deal with on top of her own five children. The Stark children, as her five were called. The older Jon got, the more Catelyn expected of him. Jon’s junior year was especially hard. Robb took a year off school in order to study abroad and intern in Europe, without her first born around Catelyn had more time on her hands to concentrate on Jon.

To concentrate on all Jon was doing wrong that is. His responsibilities increased, nothing was ever done to her satisfaction. Jon barely had time to study, let alone date. There was never a girl that intrigued him the way Dany did. No one even came close to making him smile the way that only she could.

+++o+++

Dany stares at her laptop, controlling her urge to throw her cup of tea across the room. Hating what she is reading. It is so unfair, she thinks to herself. Hasn’t Jon suffered enough?  

Hi Dany,

I am being a coward today and telling you this in an email…

Every time you ask me about my plans for college, I either ignore the question or give you a half truth. I hate not being honest, especially with you.

Long story short, it has been decided that I will not be going the college route. Catelyn needs my help at home, especially with Arya and the boys and the money is just not there.

Please don’t be upset for me. I’m okay with the decision. Truth is, I don’t really want to discuss it. I hope you can understand.

Talk soon, Jon

Dany lowers her head into her hands, trying to control her emotions. She knows college is not for everyone, and that is fine. But what bothers her is that for years now she has known that Jon has dreamt of college. She knows he works so hard to get good grades and he is talented fencer on his school’s team.

Dany pulls up the main Targaryen Enterprises webpage, navigating quickly to the community outreach tab. Dany worked at her family’s company all summer and played an active role in managing the college internship program. She remembers their generous scholarship program, it is open to students from across the country to apply.

Her stomach falls, the deadline for application has passed. It would not be fair to take away from students that researched ahead of time and met the deadline.

Picking up the phone Daenerys calls the head of the scholarship program to ask for a favor. Even if she were to never see Jon Snow again, she knows she loves him and she wants what is best for him.

Her next step is looking up the staff list at the high school she knows Jon attends, pleased to see the staff list with photos is listed. Writing down the name and contact information of the school’s College Guidance Counselor she formulates her plan.

She will fix this, she has to.

+++o+++

“Jon!” Dany yells from the subway platform, waving her arms frantically. She is so excited to see him.

Jon’s smile is huge, seeing her he sprints over to meet her. Pulling her petite frame into his arms for a tight hug.

“I can’t believe you are here, you must be exhausted. How was your flight?” Jon asks, concerned that she may be too tired after her international trip to hang out. Dany used her spring break to fly to Targaryen’s offices in Paris, with college starting next fall she wanted to spend a week in the Paris office to experience international business, she is considering the major.

“I’m fine! Come on, let’s get something to eat,” Dany smiles. “Actually, do you mind if we just order room service at my hotel?”

Jon just smiles, agreeing to whatever she wants.

+++o+++

“Yeah, it was two months ago when my guidance counselor admitted that he had filled out the Clarke Foundation scholarship application on my behalf, I was just shocked. I’m just not used to anyone doing something nice for me,” Jon admits sadly, feeling a tightness in his chest. Meeting Dany’s eyes as she sits across from him at small table in her suite, he sees how much she cares for him. “It just means so much to me, I won this amazing scholarship based on merit. For my grades, fencing and all of my academic achievements.”

Clearing his throat nervously, Jon never talks about his feelings. “Like for the first time ever I did something right in my life.”

Dany forces her face to remain the same, although her stomach just dropped. She went to great lengths to set up Jon’s scholarship, and cover up her involvement. Hearing Jon explain how much it means to him and why makes her feel trapped. How can she take that away from him, would he even understand why she did it?

No, she can’t. She loves him too much, it is too late.

“That’s wonderful, Jon. I’m happy for you,” she says, looking away.

They continue to talk about college, upcoming summer plans. Dany is still deciding between Brown and Harvard, she was accepted into the early admissions program for both schools. She loves to hear about his siblings. Even Sansa is getting to be much nicer as she grows older.  

“She said what?” Dany laughs wanting Jon to tell her again how Catelyn stark stuttered in horror upon finding out about his full scholarship to NYU.  Dany smiles while cutting into her burger as Jon watches her closely.

“Are you going to eat that entire burger with a fork and knife? I may have just discovered the first thing I don’t like about your Daenerys Targaryen!” Jon laughs.

Dany blushes and gives him a small shove as she joins him in laughing. “No, I am just cutting it in half. It’s easier to pick up that way. Back to your story please, Catelyn’s head spinning off.”

Jon chuckles as he tells Dany again how furious his stepmother is that he will be leaving for college in the fall. Dany smiles happily, knowing her secret role in his story and glad to see him to alive and free.

Hours later, sitting on the couch and talking Jon and Dany finally discuss the elephant in the room.

“You are still the only girl I’ve ever kissed,” Jon blurts out, instantly regretting being so honest with her as her eyes widen.

Dany is shocked, because he is so handsome, girls must throw themselves at him all the time. She know she would if they went to the same school. But she’s also been in love with him since she was eight years old.

“Are you going to say anything?” Jon says, trying to break the tension.

Dany smiles at him and decides that sometimes actions are more telling than words. Moving slowly closer to him as he sits on the couch she watches his eyes carefully. Jon smiles and pulls her close, welcoming her into his arms.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but just for now…  Just for tonight.” Dany’s voice trails off as she decides to be bold.

Her heart racing as she sits on Jon’s lap, facing him. Before she can think of her next move Jon grabs her face and kisses her roughly. The moment his lips touch her, Dany feels as though she is on fire. Without hesitation their tongues begin a slow and sensual dance.

Her hands moving to touch his chest she loves how strong he feels under her hands. Jon holds her hips as they kiss, he longs to shift her closer to him. His dick is so hard, he wants to feel her pressed to him.

When Dany pauses to catch her breath Jon’s lips go to her neck, kissing and gently biting. She gasps loudly, wanting him in a way she has never experienced before.  

“Jon,” Dany moans, crying out his name as she rocks her hips. Rubbing her sex against him, feeling his hardness.

“Shit, Dany,” Jon hisses as his hips rise to meet hers. Suddenly his hands are roaming up and down her arms, and her back.

Feeling bold he grabs her ass and rocks her more tightly against him. Dany bites his lower lip in response, both groaning with pleasure and need. They continue kissing and touching each other for a while before Dany takes his hands and places them on her breasts groaning with pleasure as he immediately caresses her.

“Will you spend the night? I have an early flight back to Chicago in the morning…but I don’t want you to leave,” Dany whispers.

Jon studies her face, trying to decipher what she is asking.

Dany kisses him slowly, “I’m a virgin, I am not asking you to have sex. I just want you to be next to me tonight.”

“I was totally down with sex, if you had wanted that,” Jon deadpans. For a moment Dany is stunned and then she realizes he is joking.

Both laugh as they get up and walk to the bed, they don’t go any further that night. Jon pulls Dany in his arms and holds her as she falls asleep. Only then does he kiss her forehead, whispering “I love you, Dany.” Before letting go and sleeping himself.

++o+ Age 18 +o++

“You okay, Jon?” Robb asks his brother, genuinely concerned. Sure Jon is a very broody person by nature, but he has been incredibly cranky the last week. “You are still coming to my graduation party this afternoon, right?”

Jon fights the scowl, wondering how dense Robb can be and still have been accepted to Brown University. Jon is also graduating, having walked to get his diploma right next to Robb in fact…Snow and Stark as last names lined them up together. Yet this graduation party is for Robb alone.

Although Robb is a year older, his study abroad in high school puts him one year behind. He will be a freshman in college at same time as Dany and Jon.

Whatever, Jon should be used to it by now. Always a second class citizen, always ending up last.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jon painfully remembers his guidance counselor admitting that his scholarship from the Clarke Company was in fact from Targaryen Enterprises. Clarke being one of their subsidiaries.

Just finding out days ago, Jon has not fully processed the news. It was Dany that set all of this up, every last piece of the puzzle. There was never a scholarship, the money probably came out of her trust fund!

“Yes, Robb. I’ll be at your party. I wouldn’t miss it,” Jon snaps.

Must be nice to have so much money to just throw around.

+++o+++

Dany smiles nervously as she enters the country club banquet hall that Catelyn Stark rented for Robb’s graduation party. As her father needed to be in Manhattan for business, the timing of this party worked out well with their trip.

And Dany was anxious to see Jon again after so many months. Busy with her own graduation week in Chicago she hasn’t had time to email Jon, so she is anxious to see him today.

As she walks through the party, smiling at a couple of people that she has met over the years, she searches for Jon. Spotting him, surprised to see him staring at her intently and brooding she waves and smiles. Jon nods his head, motioning for her to follow him out the side door of the hall.

“Jon! I missed you, how are you?” Dany cries cheerfully as she leans in to give him a hug. She is surprised when Jon takes a step back.

“We need to talk, Dany,” Jon says coldly. “Let’s walk in the garden, no one is out there now.”

A sense of dread falls over Dany, she can tell he is very upset, angry even.

They walk in silence to the garden, now a safe distance from the banquet hall where no one will hear them.

“I really don’t appreciate being your charity case, Dany!” Jon hisses at her, all of the feelings he has been bottling in for the last week coming to the surface at once. “How could you do this to me?!”

Dany instantly feels sick, realizing he knows about the scholarship. “Jon, I wanted to tell you. I did! When we at the hotel, and then–”

“Why didn’t you then? What excuse do you have? You were too busy sitting on my lap and sticking your tongue down my throat,” Jon yells.

Dany’s eyes widen, shocked he would say that to her. Shocked he would throw their intimacy back in her face. Tears welling in her eyes. “Just let me explain, please.”

“You don’t get it, Dany! Why would you? You are Daenerys Targaryen, one of the wealthiest women in the US. Born with a silver spoon in your mouth!”

“That is not fair, just because I have money doesn’t mean that my life is perfect!” Dany cries, tears streaming down her face. She never imagined that Jon would ever be so angry to talk to her like this. “Jon, try to understand why I did it. I love you, I have loved you for so long and it has killed me all these years to see you mistreated! Your life is like a modern day Cinderella story, evil stepmother and all!”

Jon scowls, “So that makes you what? The prince that saves the day?! I never knew you could think so highly of yourself. Wow – you really are something, Dany.”

Wiping her tears, she tries again to explain. “It killed me that you wanted to go to college, it was finally going to be your time be free, to get away. And Catelyn tried to take that away from you. I had the means to fix things, so I did!”

“Don’t you get it? How can you not see what is right in front of you? The last ten years of my life has been lie after lie,” Jon pauses to control the shaking of his voice. He refuses to cry to her, not now. Not ever.

“For years I have had to just accept the lies told about me! That I was shy. That I was tired. That I was sick. That I preferred to be alone. Everything my family needed me to pretend to be, so they wouldn’t feel bad about pushing me to the side!” Jon is shaking with anger. “I just never expected something so deceitful, so calculated from you Dany.”

Dany bursts into tears, it is killing her to hear his pain and know she caused it. “I love you, Jon Snow. Please forgive me, please. I only did it because I care about you.”

“My answer is no. I do not forgive you,” Jon says coldly, Dany burying her face in her hands and weeping. “Being in love, does not justify your lies and manipulations.”

“Jon, please! If we can just–” Dany pleads until he cuts her off.

“Goodbye, Dany,” say as he walks back into the country club leaving her alone in the garden to compose herself.

As Dany returns to the party she is surprised to find her father holding a microphone and motioning for her to join him at the podium. Suddenly Robb and Catelyn are also at the front. As always, Dany does as told by her father.

“I know we are here for Robb’s graduation but we wanted to lift a glass to both Robb and my daughter, Daenerys Targaryen. Both of these fine young adults will be students at Brown this fall! Dany scans the party guests for Jon, he is nowhere to be found. In that moment Robb places a friendly hug around her shoulders as they pose for pictures.

Jon watches from the balcony, he hates the sadness that washed over him. Seeing Dany with Robb is just a painful reminder that she is out of his league. She always has been. It’s time he accepted it.

With resolution Jon know what he has to do.

+++o+++

The next Monday Jon calls NYU and lets them know that his financial funding has fallen through. He wants to cancel his enrollment. As the woman on the phone places him on hold he is shocked when the coach of the fencing team at NYU answers the transferred call.

Later, Jon hangs up the phone…stunned. Jon will be on a sports scholarship for being on the fencing team.

It’s a miracle…but then why does he still feel so bad.

+++o+++

Dany gets an email from the Targaryen offices the next day, advising her that scholarship recipient Jon Snow has turned down the scholarship. It is settled, Jon has turned his back on her and all of her money. That’s what he sees her as, a spoiled girl with a silver spoon in her mouth. She is heartbroken.

Ten years ago, they were just two kids eating cookies and milk in the kitchen of a funeral parlor.

She sadly wonders how things got so complicated.

+++o+ End of Part II of IV ++++o+++

Author’s Note: Part III of White as Snow will be published for Day 04 of Jonerys Appreciation Week (Wednesday 9/27). Prompt: Angst

Thank you for reading, giving hearts and reblogging! Means a lot to me. xoxo

Chicago

So, this is my first attempt at fanfiction.  I mainly wanted to write what I thought was happening with April in 13x17 and 13x18 since we aren’t seeing her on screen.  I saw several people joking that she must be in Chicago with Catherine, so my idea grew from that.  This is definitely not a super romantic fanfic if that is what you are looking for, but I would love any and all feedback, even the negative, so I can improve if I attempt to write more.  

____________________________________________________________


The car had just exited the airport to pull onto the freeway and Harriet was already asleep.  She almost always fell asleep during car rides, but April was hoping she would stay awake this time.  The trip to Montana was the first time she had been away from her little girl since Jackson took her home from the hospital, and she was looking forward to hearing her giggles in person again.  Because was watching Harriet sleep so intently, it took a few moments for her to realize Catherine was speaking from across the backseat.

“…and I only showed her a couple medical journals.  She really seemed to like them, especially the urology ones.  You know, she might just take after her grandma.  Surgery is in her blood, after all.” Catherine smiled as she thought of the idea of Harriet taking after her.

April met her eyes and smiled back at her.  There was a time when the last thing she would have wanted was to have a child that took after Catherine Avery, but lately, she was starting to think it wasn’t such a terrible idea.  Catherine had supported her decision to take the Interim Chief of Surgery position when no one else did.  And her support seemed genuine.  Catherine’s invitation to visit the Avery Trauma Center in Chicago had surprised April even more than her support, but regardless of the reason for the invitation, April couldn’t wait to go.  The Avery Trauma Center is one of the best in the country, and getting the chance to see the work they do there is an amazing opportunity.  Their flight to Chicago was scheduled for tomorrow morning.  She would never have planned two trips away from Harriet so close together but going to Montana was a last minute decision. Catherine had explained that Meredith couldn’t go because Zola was sick, but after everything that happened in Montana, Jackson and April both knew that was not completely true.  

Jackson’s phone rang pulling April out of her thoughts.  From the backseat she could not see his phone screen to know who was calling him, but she did recognize the puzzled look on his face as he pressed the accept button and lifted the phone to his ear.

“Maggie.”  He said.  “What’s up?  Okay. Okay.  Yeah, of course.  Oh, she’s on her way now?  Like now, now?  Umm…yeah, yeah.  I’ll meet you at the hospital.” Jackson dropped the phone from his ear with a deep sigh.

“Jackson, you just got back. You’re going to the hospital now?” Catherine asked.  

“Um yeah.  Maggie’s mother came back to town earlier than she had planned and I need to do a consult with her.” He answered while staring out the window.  

The hesitation in his voice told April that he wasn’t quite sure how to answer his mother’s question. It must seem odd that he would need to rush to the hospital to consult for a breast augmentation, but he apparently hadn’t filled Catherine in on the real reason Maggie’s mother had sought him out. April was actually surprised he had told her with all of the tension that had been between them lately, but late one night he confided in her just as he had a hundred times before.

_____________________________________________________________

April had just finished one of Harriet’s middle of the night feedings and was quietly headed back to her room when a dim light shining from beneath Jackson’s bedroom door caught her attention.  She was surprised that he was awake.  Shortly after April’s incision healed, they had gotten in a good routine of switching off on Harriet’s feedings.  Jackson no longer got up every time to check on April.  He only did that sometimes, and he always claimed that he wasn’t checking up on April – he just missed Harriet – but each time he would ask April, “Do you need anything?  Can I help with anything?” and April would thank him but assure him she was just fine.  Sometimes he sat and talked to her while she fed Harriet.  They didn’t really talk about anything important during those late night feedings, mainly surgeries, plans for the next day, or how cute their baby girl was.  And really it didn’t matter if he was there for Harriet or April, either way she enjoyed the company.  But lately, ever since the attendings were divided over this ridiculous Minnick/Webber competition, Jackson hadn’t checked on her at all.  So seeing his light on this time made April take notice and against her better judgement, she knocked on his door.  

After a long silence, April decided to head back to bed.  Just as she was turning toward her room, she heard the click of his door handle and the light from his room flooded the hallway. Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the brightness and when she focused on Jackson’s face she could see stress in his eyes.

“Do you need something?” His voice had that same annoyed tone he used so often with her recently.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.  Jackson, it’s 2:00 am.  What are you doing awake?”  

“I’m working.” Jackson ran his hand across his forehead and his brow creased with stress.

“Working?  What could you possibly be working on this late?  Can’t it wait?  You have surgery in the morning, right?  You are going to be exhausted.” Confusion filled April’s face.  Jackson was a dedicated doctor, but choosing work over sleep was not like him.  Whatever this surgery was, he must be really concerned about it.  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just go back to bed, April.” Jackson snapped at her.  But as he turned to walk back into his room, April saw the scans the were spread across his bed. There were numerous scans of breast tissue from multiple angles and varying degrees of magnification.

“Jackson…” April whispered as she slowly walked through the door to his room and across the floor to his bed.  “What are these? Is this… Diane Pierce isn’t getting breast implants, is she?”

Jackson sunk down on to the edge of his bed with a sigh.  

April walked slowly around his bed picking up a scan and examining it for a few moments before setting it down and moving on to another. “How is Maggie handling all of this?” When Jackson didn’t respond, April lowered the scan in her hand and met his gaze.  “She doesn’t know?”

“Diane is refusing to tell her.  She keeps insisting that it will be better for Maggie to wait, insisting that she will tell Maggie when the time is right.  I can’t force her to tell her, and of course I can’t say anything either. So I am stuck in this awkward mess of listening to Maggie complain about her mother’s breast implants and listening to Diane justify her choices.  And the whole time I am just thinking that this surgery has to go well.  I have to pull this off because if I don’t, I’ll forever be the guy who couldn’t save Maggie’s mom.” Jackson begins to stacking the scans together.  “I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this.  I shouldn’t have even said anything.”  

April takes a few steps and closes the distance between her and Jackson and quietly says his name, “Jackson.”

Jackson continues to stack Diane’s scans without acknowledging standing April at his side.  After a pause, April lifts her hand and places it on Jackson’s shoulder.  “Jackson,” she says again, a little louder this time.

Feeling April’s hand on his shoulder causes Jackson to pause. He sets the scans in his hand down on his bed and looks up at her.

Her eyes are filled with kindness and comfort and a rush of guilt pulls at his stomach.  He doesn’t know how she manages to do that.  He had been anything but kind to her lately, he knew that, but here she was, supporting him like none of the tension of the last few days had ever happened.

“I know why you are worried.  This is not a situation that anyone should be put in – operating on a friend’s mother and keeping a secret about why.  But Jackson, you are doing the right thing.  Diane is your patient, and you are respecting her wishes.  She said she chose you because you are the best, and she’s right.  You can do this.  You might be doubting yourself, but I’m not.  I know you can do this.”  April truly believed what she was saying.  He could see her confidence in him reflected in her eyes.  

Jackson reached up and grabbed April’s hand that was still resting on his shoulder.  He squeezed her hand lightly.  “Thank you,” he smiled up at her and her face brightened in response.  For a few moments they remained there in silence with their eyes still on each other until Jackson finally spoke, “We really should get some sleep.  Harriet will be up again before we know it.”  

April let her hand fall from his shoulder and gave him one last reassuring smile before she walked from his room.  His eyes followed her as she walked away from him and out the door and he resisted the urge to call out to her and ask her to stay.

______________________________________________________________

Jackson asked the driver to drop him off at Grey-Sloan before taking April and Catherine home. He wanted some time to review Diane’s files before he met with her again, and Maggie had said her flight would be landing any minute.  

Their driver pulled up to the entrance of the hospital, and Jackson grabbed his work bag and stepped out of the car.  Before walking away, he opened April’s door and leaned into the backseat.  “Thanks again, Mom.”

Catherine waved a hand at him in dismissal.  “Son, you know I will never turn down quality time with this baby girl.  Stop thanking me!  I loved every minute of it.”

Jackson touched a hand to his sleeping daughter’s forehead, careful not to wake her, before turning to April.  “I’m sorry I have to go in when we just got back, but I will call you tonight when I get a chance.  Hopefully I will be home before you leave for Chicago in the morning.”

“I completely understand, Jackson.  Don’t be sorry.”

Jackson reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, smiled at her, and closed the door.

As Catherine and April watched him walk into the hospital, Catherine knowingly said, “You two seem to be getting a long much better.  I take it things went well in Montana.”

April blushed, “Things went very well.”

Catherine smirked as she replied, “Well, whatever happened needs to happen more often because Jackson sure seems much happier.”  

“I couldn’t agree more.” April responded with a hint of laughter in her voice.

______________________________________________________________

April had been sleeping for several hours when her phone vibrated against her night stand.  The screen was lit up with a text message from Jackson.

Jackson – Are you sleeping?

April – I was, but that’s okay.  How’s work? How are Diane and Maggie?

Jackson – A mess. Both of them, really, but I’d rather talk about that later.  Where are you sleeping?

April – In my room…

Jackson – I thought maybe you’d be in my room.  

April paused, unsure of what to say next.  They hadn’t had time to talk about what had happened in Montana.  It’s not that the thought of sleeping in his room hadn’t crossed her mind, but she didn’t want to assume that he wanted her there.  She still wasn’t completely sure what he wanted. I mean, obviously things between them had changed, but what did that mean?

Before she had a chance to ask him, her phone vibrated in her hand.  He was calling her.

“Hello?”  her voice was still full of sleep.

“You sound exhausted. Now I feel bad that I woke you.” Jackson sounded apologetic, but she could hear in his voice that he was smiling as well.

“Me?  Have you slept at all?” April asked.

“I got a few hours in an on call room earlier while Maggie got her mom settled in at their house. But I didn’t call to talk about that. You didn’t answer my text.  You aren’t going to sleep in my room?”

“Well, I didn’t really know if you wanted me to.  I mean, we haven’t really talked, and I didn’t want to just assume you wanted me to sleep in there now.” April explained.

“Of course I do.”

“You do?”

“Yes, I do.  Well, it would be better if I was home to sleep in there, too, but still…”  

“So you won’t be home before I leave for Chicago tomorrow?”

Jackson sighed, “No. I need to go over the new information that Diane’s oncologist in Hawaii sent over and that is going to take awhile. But you don’t have to wait for me. You can move into my room whenever you want.”

The idea of sharing a room with Jackson and sleeping in his bed again made April happier than she had been in a long time.  “How about this?  I will move into your room, and sleep in your bed, but I want to wait for you. Sleeping in there alone will just make me miss you more, so how about my first night back from Chicago?  That will give us something to look forward to.”

“Oh, so you miss me?” Jackson teased.

“Of course I do.” April didn’t mind him teasing her.  In fact, it felt natural and reminded her of how he used to tease her about little things when they were married.

Jackson smiled, “Good because I miss you, too.  And that sounds like a perfect idea.  You in my bed again is definitely something to look forward to, so this Chicago trip better go by fast.  You should get some sleep now.  I know you have an early flight tomorrow.”

April yawned, “Okay. Thanks for calling.  Try not to stress too much about the surgery tomorrow. You’ll be great.”

“Thank you, “ Jackson replied, “And I can’t wait to hear all about Chicago.”

It’s the eve of the Corporate Challenge in Chicago. I deferred my morning run to the evening, partly due to threat of rain, partly to help acclimate to running later in the day. Kept my 6 miles nice and chill.

I’ve got my company shirt and the rest of my outfit planned out. Weather is looking very good. Optimistically, I can finish 3.5 miles in 19:15, which would put me in the top 20 or so. Usually the thrill of big competition inspires my best performances. I’m stoked to say the least.

10

Our first #ChiCon family experience :)
We left Warrensburg, MO Thursday evening & arrived in Chicago Friday morning.. We checked into the hotel and were on our way!!

The boys LOVED #SPNChi & were excited to see their favorite actors on screen :)

Interactions:
Kim (Jody) & Brianna (Donna) had a panel on Friday where Kim discussed her dad’s death. After, I tweeted Kim to thank her for her resilience.. I told her that she gives me hope for my boys. That following Saturday, Castiel & Chance were in the question line for their panel & Castiel thanked her for sharing about her Dad because his daddy died the same way. Kim bent down & said asked the boys if they knew what that meant? When they didn’t, she said.. “That means we have something in common” She came off the stage and gave the boys a huge hug & said “Your mommy tweeted me last night” she then explained that Jeremy’s death was not the boys’ fault & that he loved them with all his heart. She told them that he was sick & that they should not blame themselves. Her kind words to the boys made me cry.. it was incredibly sweet. Christian was allowed to ask a question & asked if it was hard being cops.. both Kim & Brianna thought the question was funny and explained how they learned to do their jobs. :)

Costume Contest:
An incredible lady drew beards on the boys. They took part in the junior supernatural costume contest. Christian was Dean, Castiel was Castiel, & Chance was Sam. Adam (the mc) Did not believe that Castiel’s name was actually Castiel!! The boys each won $25 gift certificates for the junior competition. Castiel was able to participate in the Best Castiel Competition.. where he won First Place & $150!!

Mark:
Boys and I walked into the mark Sheppard panel and were unaware that he walks around and talks to everybody. Castiel walked up to him & Mark Asked who he was dressed as. Cas replied that he was dressed as Castiel.. Mark teased him & stated that he would make a better Crowley. Cas giggled and asked Mark If he wanted a fidget spinner 2 which Mark replied no thank you. Cas walked away and Mark stated that he was an incredibly polite young boy.

Kim & Brianna Photo:
Mommy got a photo with 2 other most bad-ass women she’s ever had a chance to meet. During the photo both women were incredibly kind and sweet… & Wayward AF!

Karaoke:
We had a blast!! Didn’t know the SPN cast could sing like that!!

Sunday:
We got into the theatre and were verbally attacked by the woman who sat infront of the boys & I yesterday. We took our seats, they again sat infront of us and suggested that we move.. I replied that I paid for our seats too. She said they couldn’t hear yesterday & that we should leave before she and her family got up in a huff & moved across the aisle. They called us rude, called me a bitch infront of the boys, & started going off on us. I apologized to the lady and told her she needed to be ashamed of herself for cursing at a mother infront of her children & said I hope that she doesn’t behave that way infront of her own children because she would be a poor role model. She and her friend began to verbally attack us & I told the boys to ignore her.. that they cannot control how another person acts just how they (the boys) choose to react. Woman & her family continued to glare at the boys through the day.

Misha Auto
Chance & Christian did not want to go to the Misha autograph so I took Castiel. We waited in line patiently until Cas saw Misha.. he became extremely excited! When it was our turn, Cas walked up to misha with all confidence and said “hello my name really is Castiel!” Misha responded with a really? Cas answered back yes! The creation volunteer Behind us told Misha that Cas won best Castiel the day before. Misha asked him how old he was too which Cas responded “I’m 7!” Misha laughed and teased him saying “Well, I bet you’re the oldest Cas out there!” Cad grinned and replied “Yep, I love you!” Misha responded with an I love you too buddy & we walked away.

J3 Photo:
Christian & Castiel were eating lunch when a woman gifted us a J3 Photo op Because my boys had hugged her while she was crying. Chance was with me so we went down to take our photo. It was nap time and Chance was really tired but we were each able to cheer him up with songs from the Supernatural musical.. and some Def Leopard (Huge thank you to the families in front of and behind us for singing along with us)
We got into the Room and I bent down-and pointed towards J3 and explained to Chance who they were. Sam is Chance’s favorite character on Supernatural.. Chance was grinning from ear to ear.. My baby boy’s face lit up the entire room. We were next in line and Chance could barely contain himself he was so excited!
We walked up and Jensen was the 1st to interact with Chance he bent down-and said “Hey buddy!” Chance shyly responded Hi.. then focuses on Jared. He said I love you Sam Jared gave him a High 5 said he loved him too and we posed.. with Chance’s blankie lol!! Chance got a hug from Jared again and said he loved him then we thanked the boys and we left. When we walked away Chance started crying because he didn’t wanna leave Sam.

Misha:
Had a photo up with the 3 boys and Misha. Sent them on their way and I stood on the sideline while they said hello sir, gave Misha a hug and posed. They gave him another hug and said thank you and walked away.. I swear my boys were walking on air.

J2M:
The boys and I got our family photo!! We walked up and said hello to the boys and posed. Misha mentioned to Jared and Jensen that my Castiel’s name really was Castiel. Jared responded with “Because that’s an awesome name!” & Misha said “No, That’s an awesome mom!” One of the photos that we have captured the interaction between Jared and Misha.. cracks me up! The boys said thank you and I love you while they hugged J2M then as we walked away the guys complimented how polite my babies were & responded that they love them too ♡♡♡

Mark:
I decided to meet mark on my own without the boys. He was polite and courteous.. I thanked him for his work on Supernatural and for being nice about Castiel & the fidget spinners. He responded that Castiel was a very polite young man & I thanked him for his photo and the compliment :)

That’s the end of our weekend.. The boys had an absolute blast and it will be an experience that they will never forget :)

5

Weekend update!

On Saturday my parents and my friend Bridget and I drove down to Indy for the Tour de Cure. It was a nice day and the ride itself was pretty, but besides that I didn’t have the best time. It was a combination of things that caused that, but I enjoyed helping Bridget ride her furthest ride ever! She had a really good time, so I was happy about that 🚴🏼‍♀️

After we got home last night I just hung out with my parents and watched another beautiful MSU victory!! 💚

And today, I was planning on running, but I wasn’t sure how my legs would feel. So I went out with no real expectations, but ideally I wanted to do 11 miles. Turns out my legs felt AMAZING! The weather was perfect too; I was a little chilly for the first half mile and it was so great. This long run was so amazing and made me feel so good! I felt strong and happy the whole time. Definitely a perfect long run. Couldn’t ask for anything better 🏃🏼‍♀️💕

After my run I went to mass and my mom joined me, then we picked up my dad for lunch. They left after lunch so I got to work on my errands and meal prepping. I am pooped now though! Bed will be soon!

Hope everyone had great weekends!! Congrats to all who ran Chicago this morning!! 😁

anonymous asked:

There's a prompt that I thought about, maybe you'll be interested? Bedannibal are forced to sleep in one room when they first met.

what do you think: Bedelia first night spent in Hannibal shirt, because she forgot anything else to sleep in? I love your sweet writing <3 

Thank you dear anons! ♥ I am sorry this took so long. I have combined the two prompts into one very tropey fic. I was saving this story for @electric-couple prompt challenge. Enjoy!

Arrangement between colleagues

“I’m sorry, there is nothing I can do.”

Bedelia has lost count of how many times she has heard that sentence today. She stares at the young brunette behind the front desk; her eyes are sharp like a pair of polished sapphires, making the woman uncomfortable, but Bedelia does not care.

This day has been the most absurd one she has ever experienced. She left Chicago that morning after a rather boring conference, but now it appears it had been the highlight of her weekend. She landed safely, yet her luggage did not, lost somewhere in the Chicago airport. On top of that her connecting flight had been cancelled.

Now she faces a night in this unpleasant airport with no prospects of finding a room.

“I am sure there is another hotel,” Bedelia’s voice is calm, but laced with ice shards, piercing with every word.

“I’m sorry- “the woman hesitates to utter those words again, “There are only two and they are both fully booked.” Her smile is meant to be professional, but now it’s only nervous.

Bedelia is preparing to ask to speak to the manager; she knows it won’t do much good, but she is determined to exhaust all options. This day cannot get any worse.

“Dr Du Maurier?” She thought wrong.

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reality. -part 2- [linstead fic.]

- Thank you for all of the kind words on my opening piece! You all are so so wonderful. (: Here’s the next part- enjoy!

She landed late that same night, welcomed by a nearly empty airport and a nearly pitch black sky courtesy of the few stars that she could barely see glistening above the looming skyscrapers and maybe she should’ve been accustomed to the constant bustle of a city and the feeling of how undeniably small she felt roaming the crowded streets beneath those towering buildings but all she felt was overwhelmingly alone.

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