• Wagecuck: I got my check today. At least 90% of it is going towards paying off my bills. The last bit will buy about a week's worth of ramen.
  • Me, an anprim: I woke up dehydrated again and was chased across a field by goose for two hours today. I thought I ran far, but realized I hadn't made it past my initial resting spot. Later, a huntsman mistook me for a deer and shot me in the thigh. I treated my wound with fresh berries and leaves. It's infected now. Also, several of my ribs are broken from the goose attack. Gooses are vicious and fucked up.
two rotten apples [m]

credit: x.

❛❛we’re next-door neighbors and have hated each other since middle school but now we’re going to the same university how can we avoid the other person like the plague so there isn’t a crime scene— what do you mean you promised my mom you would keep an eye on me???? you fucking planned this❜❜ AU

COUNT → 16.053

GENRE → smut | eventual angst

PAIRING → jungkook | reader

WARNINGS → dom and sub tones | spanking | hair pulling | praising | explicit language | female masturbation | graphic oral sex | penetration


There was always that one person at parties—that one person who hid in a bathtub somewhere so they didn’t have to contribute to society’s norms of choking on their own vomit and passing out cuddling a pink garden gnome.

Or maybe that was just you.

Then again, it wasn’t just any party you were hiding in a bathtub at—it wasn’t some rager that had frat boys downstairs chugging so much alcohol that their livers probably looked like fucking dried out asparagus—it was your high school graduation party. And maybe you’d attended only the lamest graduation parties in your eighteen years of life, but there was no alcohol here—only fruit punch. Yet, there you were, still hiding in a bathtub for some fucking reason with a piece of chocolate cake balanced in your lap.

You should probably reiterate that it was your party, which makes things worse since normally you don’t hide in a bathtub when you’re the guest of honor.

Normally—but this was not a normal circumstance.

Keep reading

locker room | reggie mantle (riverdale)

prompt: 80- “you are so tiny compared to me”

it was another long boring cheer practice and the squad had been kicked out of our gym and thrown out onto the football field to train with the football team.

it was one of the hottest days of the year and you had to spend the past hour dodging footballs and doing a bunch of different flips and learning cheryls impossible choreography.

you feel breathless doubling over trying to suck in a breathe feeling all types of heat stroke. you bring your head up waving down your red headed captain

“can we like take a break for 5 minutes?” you huff shielding your eyes from the sun.

she glances around at her team half the girls were already sitting on the ground trying to shield themselves from the scorching hot sun

“5 minutes and thats it” she yells out to the whole squad before walking all the way over to me extending a bottle to me “thanks red” i mumble taking a long swig

the siren rings loud indicating an end of a period and cheryl huffs sighing “lets go ladies practice is over” she yells turning and scowling at me

“oh c'mon your not mad at me right?” i ask jogging behind my best friend as she struts off the field whistling from the hormonal teenage boys behind us filling the field

“im not” she replies keeps her focus in front of her “cheryl?” i question stopping in my place only for her to walk off without me.

i groan rolling my eyes taking another long sip out of the icy water bottle when i feel a strong pair of arms wrap around my waist pulling me up

I squeal as the water squirts out of the bottle my feet leaving the grass. i thrash around in the strangers arms until im put down familiar giggles filling the air

“reggie you jerk you made me wet” i complain trying to wipe off the water that had spilt on my uniform as i walk next to my boyfriend

archie and chuck snicker a smile growing on my raven haired boyfriends face “baby girl i know i do, maybe you shouldn’t really be telling everyone” he teases

i roll my eyes pushing his chest “your such a child” i laugh glancing at the three boys sticking my tongue out and spraying them with my water bottle

they yell covering their faces chasing me across the field, i squeal running as fast as my feet carry me until I’m lifted up into the air more and more water pouring on top of me

“STOP!” i yell after they put me down i rush to reggie burying myself into his chest trying to protect myself, reggie getting soaked in the process

“ANDREWS! CLAYTON!” i hear coach clayton yell gainging the attention of the three jocks

they drop their bottles looking up at the older man “yes coach?” archie calls back guilt on his face

“maybe we should leave miss (y/l/n) alone so she can get to class, we’ll need her on the field cheering and not in detention”

i find myself giggling pushing my wet hair off my face “lets go” i laugh linking my hands with reggie pulling him toward the locker rooms

i remove my ponytail and let me hair run down my back before facing reggie as he strips off his uniform and changed back into regular clothes

“this was all i had to wear today” i sulk

he turns to me licking his lips as he stares at me “remind me to wet you more when your in your uniform?” he chuckles

furrowing my brows i look down to see that you can clearly see my black lacy bra now that’s the white cotton was drenched.

i playfully smack my boyfriends chest “can you give me something to wear?” i beg pouting, slipping on a pair of denim shorts and removing my white shirt

his eyes dart around the room pulling me into him by my waist “god (y/n) you can’t just strip off what is someone came in” he glances around the room eyes wide panic on his expression

i laugh standing up on my tippy toes and pulling reggie down to connect our lips “you worry too much mantle” he kisses back slipping his hands under my thighs to lift me up onto his waist

we continue to kiss gradually getting heated until the sound of a locker shutting brings us back to reality

reggie almost drops me still managing to keep my chest out of sight

“wow- andrews what are you doing in here” reggie starts pulling me behind him tugging a shirt over his head

“it’s the locker room reg- im just grabbing my stuff” he chuckles grabbing a fresh shirt before walking away for us laughing at the encounter

reggie turns around digging through his locker, you giggle your hands sliding up his chest “here” he mumbles handing me one of his shirts before dipping down and joining our lips

“reggie this is massive on me” i sulk letting the white t hang just above my knees, he turns and giggles at the sight of me.

i pout crossing my arms in front of my chest “regggg” i sulk dropping my bottom lip.

“im sorry baby girl” he pauses trying to hold back laughter “you are just so tiny compared to me”

he walks back over to you kissing the top of your head “maybe see if the girls have something for you? or you could tie it?” he wraps his arms around your shoulders.

“okay bfg” you poke fun tucking the shirt into your high waisted shorts the raven haired boy puzzled at your statement.

“im a what now?” “a big friendly giant” he narrows his eyes before punching lifting me up into the air swinging me around

“thats it you asked for it”

and after what seemed like the longest tickle fight of your life you both emerge from the locker room hand in hand smiles evident on your faces as you look up to your boyfriend pulling his jacket closer around me body

you were reggies girl

TAG LIST✨👱🏻‍♀️: @hauntedcherryblossombanana-blog @sadbreakfastclb @jugandbettsdetectiveagency @kindfloweroflove


“We’ll be back for lunch,” Sophia said after checking that the diaper bag had all the essentials in it. “You sure you don’t wanna come?”

“I have to catch up on reading my emails and stuff,” Harry said, scratching along his jaw.

Sophia knew it was code for I’d love to come but you know what’s going to happen if I do so she just nodded and tilted her head back, waiting for him to kiss her goodbye.

| read previous chapters here | talk to me here |

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Being a Hufflepuff & Dating H.G Would Include:

‣During the school year cute dates to The Hog’s Head

‣Sneaking Hermione up to your dormitory to study because the Gryffindor common room is too loud

‣Not much PDA because you both prefer the intimacy of your affections but you do hold hands

‣She does give you forehead kisses whenever there’s no one around though

‣Hermione definitely spoils you like crazy

‣You make flower crowns and Hermione wears them proudly, hexing anyone who makes a comment about them

‣Hermione is naturally overprotective of you but you enjoy her overprotectiveness rather than finding it patronizing

‣Dates in the muggle world where she takes you to the city and you spend the nights loading up on street food, enjoying watching the street dancers, and then finally going to the London Bridge to watch the River Thames below as street musicians play in the background

‣Dates where you take Hermione to magical beaches where you can swim along with the beasts and you take Gillyweed to swim underwater with the mermaids; at the end of the day you cuddle by a bonfire and roast marshmallows

‣Always taking a small backpack everywhere where you have your camera and a small photo album to record all of your adventures

‣Scrap books with pressed flowers

‣Her parents absolutely adore you and they feel a parental protectiveness over you

‣Spending Christmas with the Granger household who immediately take you in as family and get you presents and a customized stocking over the fireplace

‣Hermione reading you to sleep while you are nuzzled into her neck

‣When she is stressed you take her outside and lay her head across your lap, threading your fingers through her thick hair while you sing to her or just talk about nothing

‣Sneaking up to the Astronomy Tower at night to stargaze; eventually you end up lying on your sides, facing each other, whispering breathy promises between feather light kisses

‣Uncontrollable giggles as you chase each other across fields of sunflowers or try to splash one another while avoiding getting splashed

‣Using secret passages to leave the school when the pressure of Voldemort’s impending return haunts the students

Piggy! Back! Rides! Every! Where!

‣Aesthetically pleasing everything

‣Hermione snuggling you in a cocoon of blankets by the fire when you’re sick and vice-versa

‣You are very close friends with Luna who seems to be the only one besides Hermione who doesn’t judge you and she’s just a great person to be with overall

‣Hot chocolate with a shit load of whipped cream and probably, maybe sprinkles?

‣Switching jumpers and house ties to mess with the other students

‣Traveling everywhere and probably eloping in a place where it’s just the two of you and your parents are going to kill you but it doesn’t matter because you found your soulmate and also, what’s the point of waiting?

A/n: Thanks to @Anon for requesting this💕Where are my Hufflepuffs?🌞

Undercover Work: Luke Alvez

In which the members of the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI go undercover and their identities are based off of the actor’s roles in other movies/tv shows. Adam Rodriguez played Tito in Magic Mike and Luke Alvez on Criminal Minds, so Luke will go undercover and look like/act like/have the backstory of/personality of Tito.

(since he isn’t given a last name i’m going to use rodriguez.) this prob counts as a crack fic lmao. this is the first installment (:

hope y’all are excited!! sorry the tito pic is so low quality! enjoy, more to come for other characters // warnings: takes place in a strip club

Luke rubbed his hand over his face and let out an exasperated sigh. “God, I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he said to Emily, to which she just shrugged and patted him on the back. “It’ll help the case.” Then, she left backstage and went to join the rest of the team in the audience.

He was doubtful that this would make much of a difference, but this was his job and he’d do it nonetheless. The case the team was currently working on was in Tampa, Florida where the unsub was targeting male strippers. After the show he’d scope them out at the bar and take his pick as to who was his next victim. So far neither of the two he’d targeted had died, they’d only been injured, but the unsub had attempted murder twice and no one wanted the third time to be a charm.

Keep reading


Gif source:  Here

Imagine being Daryl’s younger sister and having a thing for Jesus.

——— Request for anon ———

“Daryl!” you shout across the field, “Stop it!”

“Ya’ best not mess around with my sister!” is the only response you get, and it’s actually angrily addressed to Jesus, who had thus far been dodging Daryl’s chase through the field. You should never have told Daryl about your thing for him; this was just embarrassing, and you were ninety percent sure Daryl was just doing it to piss you off.

Jesus runs to stand behind you, still dodging Daryl’s grabs around you until you put your foot down, “Dammit, Daryl! Can’t I ever like a guy without you embarrassing the shit out of me!”

elphabelle-of-the-ball  asked:

In honor of your graduation - you have to write a Bughead graduation fic!!! (xxx peacelovebughead)

Thank you, @peacelovebughead! I was actually in the process of finally filling this elopement prompt and setting it during graduation so this was perfect! I hope you enjoy!

“Ugh, it’s gonna rain I can feel it now. It’s gonna rain, and if these suede pumps get ruined I will sue,” Veronica ranted as she warily eyed the dark clouds rolling in over their heads. “What is the point of all this anyway?” she asked in exasperation, gaze turning to run over the throngs of students surrounded their little group.

“Organisation,” Betty replied, casting her eyes round in the same path as Veronica’s. “They need to make sure we all know where we’re going on the actual day,” she shrugged, one arm wrapped around Jughead’s, the other moving to lace her fingers with his.

“Herding us together like cattle one last time,” Jughead commented with his usual snark, rolling his eyes as a fellow student brushed past him, jostling his arm. Betty glanced up at him from underneath thick eyelashes, biting her lip against a grin at his usual surly mood. He flicked his gaze to hers out of the corner of his eye, looking away quickly as he pursed his lips against the smile that threatened to sneak onto his own lips from her look, corners twitching in betrayal. Betty giggled, nuzzling further into his side.

“Couldn’t they have done this closer to graduation? On a day when a downpour is not imminent?” Veronica continued on her tirade, shifting her weight from foot to foot as she grew impatient. They were standing a short distance away from the A’s, considering Archie had been snatched up right near the start. He gave her a cheeky grin.

“Kinda snappy today, Ronnie, what gives?” Archie asked, tilting his head to the side in question. Veronica sighed, cheeks heating gently as she avoided the eyes that turned to scrutinise her.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s just hit me. We’ve had our last spring break as high school kids and now we’re going to graduate and go our separate ways… I feel like it’s ending when it only just began,” she mumbled. Archie’s eyes softened, wrapping an arm around her waist and placing a reassuring kiss against the side of her head. She threw him a small smile.

“Hey, it’s not the end. Just the next chapter, right guys?” Archie turned to address the general group. There were a few comforting nods but Betty couldn’t focus. They were calling out the C’s now, her name should be up next. Her heart was hammering like a hummingbird’s in her chest, palms sweaty as they passed the place for Cooper without uttering the word. Jughead could feel her pulse against his arm, hand tightening around hers in reflex. No one seemed to notice the error.

“…Kevin Keller…” Mr Weatherbee called out over the mindless hum of chatter, Kevin’s ears perking up.

“That’s me,” he sighed with an eyebrow, moving to join the end of the line. The names continued to pour out.

“…Veronica Lodge…” Veronica raised her eyebrows briefly before walking to her place. More names.

“…Elizabeth Jones, Forsythe Jones…” It was as if the entire student body collectively inhaled. Archie did an almost comical double take, head turning between Weatherbee, Betty, and Jughead. Veronica’s mouth dropped open. Kevin’s hands went to his face, eyes glistening with glee. Betty felt her cheeks flaming scarlet as they both headed towards their spots, passing the line of staring, shocked faces. She tilted her chin up slightly, eyes firm as she focused on the warmth of Jughead’s hand in hers, grounding her as he always did. Sure, the attention embarrassed her, but marrying Jughead months before their high school graduation? She’d never been more proud of a decision.

She was, however, slightly thankful in that moment, after the unintentionally grand reveal, that her friends were stuck firmly in their places down the line, unable to accost them and bombard them with the questions clearly bursting to pour out of their mouths. Everyone was still staring as they waited for the list to finish, Weatherbee only on the M’s by now. Betty turned her back on the person in front of her, focusing only on the soothing, cool blue of Jughead’s eyes. He ducked his head to search her eyes, noticing the worry around the edges.

“You okay?” he murmured, hands caressing her arms comfortingly. She nodded, offering him a smile.

“There’s a lot of people looking,” she whispered back. He knew this was what was bothering her.

“Hey, I’m right here. Just you and me, alright?” he replied. She nodded again, shoulders losing some of their tension as she remembered.


Spring break had been perfect, as far as Jughead had been concerned. He and Betty had taken a road trip to Toledo, promising to look after Jellybean while their mom had to go out of town for a while, his grandparents away for the week.

The drive had been one of the best experiences of his life, windows of his dad’s borrowed truck rolled down, spring sunshine pouring in, casting all kinds of mesmerising patterns through Betty’s golden hair as it blew about her in the breeze. He’d created a playlist especially for the occasion, grinning with unrestrained bewilderment as she sang along to the tracks she knew in the most beautifully melodic voice he’d ever heard. The open road changed her, changed both of them. The world seemed to be at their fingertips, the possibilities stretching out endlessly before them, waiting to be grasped.

They decided to spend a night under the stars, camped out beneath an assembly of blankets in the bed of the truck. Betty had curled into his side, head resting over his heartbeat as she tangled her legs with hers. The sky above them was littered with bright dots uninterrupted by city lights, miles and miles away but feeling like they were close enough to touch, securing them under a dome that was all their own.

“What do you think is up there?” Betty had asked, high on the secluded night air, the feeling of his fingertips running along the exposed skin of her lower back, the drowsiness that threatened to engulf her for the night. Jughead smiled, just the barest movement in the corner of his lips as he took one last look at the constellations before tilting his head down to look into her upturned eyes. He saw constellations there too, in the flecks of gold and blue swimming in deep, endless green.

“Possibilities,” he murmured back, leaning down to capture her lips in a slow kiss before they burrowed back against each other for the night.

He was watching Betty now as she chased Jellybean through the field of flowers, the game of tag supposedly helping to get them out of their picnic induced coma. He looked down at the display of empty containers around him, conceding that they may have gone a little overboard on the amount of food they’d brought. He couldn’t help it, Betty made him go to every extreme.

The past few days had almost been like every white picket fence dream Jughead would never admit he’d had. He woke up, every morning, to her face inches away from his, her eyelashes still fluttering gently against her cheeks in slumber. He always woke up first - habit still due to having to be out of whatever corner he’d chosen as his bed before someone found him - and stole a few private moments to watch her features, completely relaxed and unguarded, not plagued by the troubles of the wakeful. She always stretched before even opening her eyes, uncurling her cramped limbs until she was completely invading his personal space. She’d smile, eyes drifting open, as he ran his hands over every inch of skin he could reach, peppering light kisses across her face until his lips finally meet hers.

They’d go downstairs and make breakfast together, him in charge of the coffee, Betty in charge of the pancakes, or whatever else she chose to cook that morning - his favourite would always be her pancakes though, jutting out his bottom lip as she’d chastise him with a “we can’t have pancakes every morning!” until she’d concede, telling him that surely his rugged good looks wouldn’t work on her forever, especially not if he ate as many pancakes as he did. Jellybean usually stumbled in some time later, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as the couple grinned at her, happy that they’d managed to coax her from her bed before noon with the smell of food; she was definitely Jughead’s sister.

They went to the movies, out for dinner. They’d taken Jellybean to the park, bought her ice cream from the truck. They’d dropped her off at a friends house, promising to come and pick her up again in the morning, telling her not to have too much fun as she rolled her eyes, grumbling to her older brother that he sounded more like her dad than her sibling.

Betty had been wearing her hair down all week, he noted as he ran his hand through the silken strands that evening, cuddled up against her on the couch. He liked it, and not just because he couldn’t keep his hands out of it. It meant she felt comfortable, at home with him and this little domestic show they were playing out, his mother’s house the stage, audience party of two. Betty was placing flowers in JB’s hair as he watched from his spot on his blanket, his sister smiling bashfully up at her in response. He couldn’t have been more thrilled at the response his girlfriend had elicited from his sister, almost as if it had slid the last piece into place. Betty wandered back over to him, cheeks flushed from the sun, as JB continued to pinch the stems of daisies between her fingers, lacing them into a chain.

“I’m so tired I could sleep for a week,” she sighed, sun-drowsy as she flopped down next to Jughead, head resting on his shoulder. Jughead’s arm came up to wrap around her waist automatically.

“I don’t remember feeling like this, ever,” he mumbled some time later. She lifted her head to stare at him, brows pinched slightly. “As if I could keep living like this for the rest of my life and always be happy,” he clarified, watching her features soften.

“It will be like this,” she promised, eyes earnest. He took one of her hands into his lap, playing with her fingers idly.

“We’ll make it, right? Through college?” he asked, voicing the concerns that had been nagging at his brain for the past few months, graduation growing ever closer.

“Juggie, we’re going to New York together. We’ll be living in the same apartment!” Betty laughed, eyes lighting up at her own words, excitement constantly bubbling in the pit of her stomach every time she thought about their future. He smiled briefly at her response, shrugging nonetheless.

“I know, I just… it’s a whole different world out there, Betts. So much bigger and brighter than Riverdale. You’re gonna flourish and grow and I just…” he trailed off, pain in his chest growing as he thought out the possibilities in his mind.

“And you’ll just be by my side, flourishing and growing along with me,” she cut in, tone firm, leaving no room for argument. He met her eyes, their deep green almost glowing with ferocity. “I love you, Jughead. And I know you don’t always believe me but I need you as much as you say you need me. We’re a pair and that’s the way it’s going to stay for the rest of our lives. You fill the parts of me that were empty for so long in my life. You ease the dull ache in my chest that I didn’t ever think was capable of going away. Every time I see you, or hear your voice, or feel your touch, I know inexplicably, without a doubt in my mind, that I am home,” she rushed out, pouring every ounce of emotion into her words she was capable of. “I’ll want you forever,” she whispered, hand fisting in the material of his shirt. His eyes searched hers for a moment, seeing nothing but the truth.

“Marry me.” The words came out before he’d even had time to process the thought. Once they hung between them in the air, though, he knew he meant it.

“What?” she stammered, slightly taken aback at the abrupt turn in their conversation. His gaze remained unwavering.

“Marry me. I mean it, Betty. I already feel it too, this is forever. I want to make you mine forever. Will you? Marry me, I mean?” he asked again, heart hammering beneath his rib cage. The silence that followed seemed to stretch out for an eternity, blush creeping up his neck and onto his chest. He almost thought he was dreaming when she began to nod, tears gathering along her waterline and quickly spilling over onto her cheeks.

“Yes,” she breathed, barely able to find her voice to answer him. Jughead let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding, relieved laugh getting lost in the exhale as she pulled him towards her. Her mouth covered his, dancing against his lips as her hands moved to his hair, tugging at the roots until she elicited a deep groan.

“Get a room!” Jellybean yelled at them from a few feet away, scrunching her nose up at the public display. Jughead laughed, pulling back to rest his forehead against Betty’s. The future suddenly seemed a whole lot brighter.

“I can’t wait to be Betty Jones,” she whispered against the skin of his chest later that night as they lay wrapped around each other. Jughead stilled, looking down at her with wide eyes.

“Y-you want to take my last name?” he asked in surprise. He’d spent a lifetime being ashamed of the name Jones that the thought of bestowing such a burden on the love of his life hadn’t even occurred to him. She moved to rest her chin on his chest, eyes meeting his steadily.

“Of course I do. You’re one of the smartest, kindest, bravest men I’ve ever met. I want to start a new family with you. It would be my honour.” Jughead swallowed around the thickness in his throat, simply nodding, blinking rapidly against the moisture in his eyes as she settled back against his side.


They’d taken off towards the Blue and Gold office as soon as they were able, narrowly dodging their friends as they attempted to fight their way through the crowds towards them. Jughead pulled Betty towards him for a swift, searing kiss, his lips releasing hers with a pop.

“It won’t take long for them to find us. You ready?” he asked, eyes glinting with mischief. She nodded, biting her lower lip. She was relieved that they finally all knew, a part of her loving the secrecy of their elopement, another part dying to tell the whole world that Jughead Jones was her husband.

“Yeah, let’s do this,” she said, barely getting the words out before the door flew open, Veronica, Archie, and Kevin all standing in the doorway with similar expressions.

“Okay, Betty Jones,” Veronica began, eyes narrowing but telltale smile planted on her lips. “First of all, why the hell wasn’t I invited to your wedding?!”

Jay Headcannons (2)

Pt 1:

 - loves reading Arabic fairytales. He grew up without his culture and without bed time stories, so the combination of the two fascinates him

 - it makes him consider if he’d ever have kids. But growing up with Jafar and being a petty thief for so long, Jay’s too worried about messing up his own kids and calmly comes to the conclusion that maybe he should never be a parent

 - doesn’t care for jackets, but goes out and gets some just so he has something to offer the girls when he sees them shiver

 - trades earrings with Evie. He doesn’t like anything that dangles, but she’s got some cool studs that he’ll steal for a day and he has some small hoops that work well with her favorite belt

 - oh so casually throws Mal over his shoulder and forces her to go to bed on the nights she stays up too late working on a new spell

 - not big on terms of endearment or embarrassing couple names until Jay stumbles across the phrase ya albi (Arabic for ‘my heart’) and on nights that he’s sure Carlos is asleep, Jay will kiss his head and whisper the term into his hair

 - whenever he and Carlos fool around, Jay always starts with his hair pulled back or in a quick bun because Carlos loves to latch onto his throat and neck and ears. In the middle of it all, when he is satisfied with the marks on Jay’s neck, Carlos will pull his hair down and grab fistfuls, leaving it wild and messy and sexy

 - on days he knows his boyfriend is crazy busy with studying and inventing and helping the girls, Jay will suck it up and give Dude a bath just because he wants to do something nice for Carlos

 - actually makes an effort to stay in contact with his father and pretends it doesn’t sting for Jafar to ask about genies and magic lamps in Auradon instead of his son

 - has no idea who his mother is and - after seeing Maleficent, EQ and Cruella - has no desire to know her

 - absolutely loves snakes and gets offended when people are scared of them. Garter snakes, water snakes, boas, Jay will gladly go grab them and let them wind their way around his arms and absorb his body heat, trailing his fingers down their smooth scales and not even flinching when some squirmy ones bite at him

 - no students are allowed to have pets on campus, but do you really think that stops Jay from keeping a few snakes in a tank on his desk?

 - Ultimate Jay Head Cannon: Jay as a little league tourney coach, how much cuter can you get than big, strong Jay letting little kids tackle him and chase him around the field????

 - has a bunch of five and six year olds running up to hug his legs and Jay slowly reconsiders the idea of having kids of his own one day