What it means to have charisma

1. Charisma comes from being fully present – no matter who you are with.

2. It means treating others as if they are the most important person in the world to you right now.

3. It means being fully engaged in what they are saying – being genuinely interested in their thoughts and ideas, and listening without interrupting to what is important to them.

4. It means shutting down your ego for the moment, not seeking to be noticed, or needing other people to affirm your worth, or to boost your self esteem.

5. It also means being comfortable being genuine and real, expressing yourself with confidence, and being at peace with who you are.


Robert Pattinson has a very cool co-star. Charlie Hunnam is the best sport. On the promo tour for The Lost City of Z, he discovered what Oscar-winner Reese Witherspoon also noticed when she went on tour with Rob promoting Water For Elephants. Reese said that she had been going to premieres for 20 years and she had never seen anything like the way Rob’s fans turned out for him.

During the THE LOST CITY OF Z press junket, Charlie was asked about Rob.

Q: Rob has a lot of crazy fans from his Twilight days. What’s it been like?

Charlie: “It’s good, you know, it takes a lot of pressure off me. I did a press conference the other day and it was nice. I just took a little nap, because no one wanted to talk to me, everyone wanted to talk to Rob, which is fine by me. This is a sort of necessary evil for me, having to go and do press and do interviews and stuff, so if there’s somebody the journalists and the public would rather talk to, then I’m happy to have him answer the questions and just sit there and look pretty." 

Watch Charlie’s interview here, the quote starts at 03:45 

On Charisma

Charisma is, contrary to popular (and my old) belief, not based in appearance. Oh, sure, how you look certainly plays some part in it. It’s impossible to avoid that unless you are, say, an invisible entity whose vastness exceeds the size of the material plane, but even then your lack of appearance plays into it. 

My personal favorite way to explain charisma is that it is not looks, but force of personality.

Can you convince people in your point of view? Distract them from their own thoughts and goals? Do your words seem to carry more weight with people and the universe than other people’s? Then you have a high charisma. You fill up space with your words and your being that other people may not. 

And this is how bards cast spells. They use their force of personality to seduce the universe into doing what they desire. Their music, or dancing, or speaking resonates at a different level than other people’s actions (at least, non-magical actions). 

And so, while there are attractive bards a plenty (including my own Iconic, Soren) that is not indicative of their Charisma. A person may be the most beautiful person in a room and not be able to speak to more than a few people at once. Or they may be more plain than pretty, but the fire of words and conviction within them makes them into more than their looks.