[Image: tweet by Titanium Cranium (@FelicityTC) including three screenshots of a Harry potter book in three different formats on Amazon. Text:

“Harry Potter on Amazon -

Print: $6.39
Audio: $44.99
Braille: $100.00

#CripTax”]

5

Lee Jordan as Quidditch commentator

“What Harry found most unusual about life at Ron’s, however, wasn’t the talking mirror or the clanking ghoul: It was the fact that everybody there seemed to like him.”

I’m fucking sobbing

  • Rowena Ravenclaw: Wait, Salazar, how come you ended up with the shittiest common room? We dished out the money to make them equally AND you're the richest sod out of all of us
  • Salazar Slytherin: [thinks back to installing a giantass slide into the Chamber of Secrets and putting a statue of himself in it]
  • Salazar Slytherin: Uhhhhh... taxes [sweats heavily]

it really disappoints me that jkr didn’t bring back the ford anglia in any of the books after chamber of secrets. like how great would it have been if, in deathly hallows, when harry is in the forbidden forest, ready to die, the car just comes speeding through, plowing down voldemort and all the death eaters…just imagine that

I laugh at how the Harry Potter movies always had to one-up the books like

Book 1: Harry keeps Quirrell from the Stone, passes out and Quirrell dies
Warner Bros: aye let’s have Harry fucking murder Quirrell and then Voldemort can fly straight through him lmao
Book 2: Harry fights the Basilisk
Warner Bros: CLIMB. THE. STATUE!
Book 3: Harry blows up Aunt Marge
Warner Bros: *sends her outside like a lost balloon* lol bye bye
Book 4: Harry cleverly tricks the dragon and gets to the golden egg
Warner Bros: DRAGON CHASE! FLY POTTER! FLY FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE! Oh, and kill the dragon..
Book 5: Fred and George summon their brooms and fly out of the school
Warner Bros: FIREWORKSSS!!!!!!
Book 6: Quiet Christmas at the Burrow discussing Draco, the Prince and Fenrir
Warner Bros: LIGHT ‘EM UP UP UP, LIGHT ‘EM UP UP UP, LIGHT ‘EM UP UP UP, I’M ON FIYAHHH!!!
Book 7: Voldemort duels Harry in the Great Hall, instantly defeated because the Elder Wand is Harry’s
Warner Bros: Hold my Butterbeer