If you could press a button that would give you a great deal of money, but it would cause someone you don’t know in a distant part of the world to die, then you would have a good model for how our current economy works.
—  Cecil Palmer, Welcome to Night Vale episode 105: “What Happened at the Smithwick House”
here’s what we know.

our cecil:

  • doesn’t have a brother
  • has evidence of a brother in his home
  • has a sister
  • is openly gay
  • lives in night vale, in which lgbt people are completely accepted

cecil from cal’s timeline:

  • grew up in a homophobic environment 
  •  has a brother (cal)
  • abby does not exist
  • janice does not exist

cecil from the cassette timeline:

  • dies at fifteen
  • at the age of fifteen, has a brother
  • this brother has “hollow eyes”
  • this brother believes radio voices should be high
  • would recreationally vandalize things alongside cal as a teenager

kevin:

  • has “dark black eyes”
  • radio personality 
  • high voice
  • lives in a town more conservative than night vale (desert bluffs)
  • during the strex invasion, was physically handicapped
  • shown to enjoy dark, twisted things
  • often described as having a gruesome smile
  • has a fascination with teeth, gore and blood
  • decorates using the above

cal:

  • is cecil’s brother from an alternate timeline in which cecil never came out as gay
  • coughs up teeth
  • is bleeding throughout his episode 
  • leaves a bloodstain on cecil’s rug

abby:

  • is cecil’s sister from the timeline in which the show takes place

 “ash beach”:

  • similarly to how in “cal”, cecil hears crunching eggshells, the figures are describes as sounding like cracking egg shells
  • it was an episode in which people experienced false memories
  • in the episode, john peters (you know, the farmer?) experienced false memories of his long-lost brother

here’s what we don’t know.

  • e v e r y t h i n g

AND THIS IS ALL WITHOUT FUCKING MENTIONING HUNTOKAR, THE BLOOD-SPACE-WAR, THE END OF THE WORLD, OR THE RUSSIAN STUFF.

I f*cking love crossovers.
- The Ravenclaw dorm has an unspoken rule: do not turn off the radio
- Back in 1983, a team off Ravenclaws figured out how to make a radio work in Hogwarts, but something was off
- It only picked up one station: Night Vale Community Radio
- The students didn’t know what to make of it. Was it a fictional station? Was it a real place?
- Regardless, they left it on. They never once turned it off, to this day.
- It’s a morale strengthener and bonding exercise for the Ravenclaws
- Every evening all the Ravenclaws gather in the common room to listen to the American’s sultry voice
- Some of them study, some of them create, some of them just listen silently, but all of them listen
- Eventually, one bright student learns that Night Vale is a real place
- The head of Ravenclaw house has to send them all to bed because of the party
- Many Ravenclaws head to Night Vale after they graduate and are just so happy because Merlin’s beard, it’s real
- All of the other houses are completely baffled by the Ravenclaws
- “What the hell are they talking about?”
- Luna Lovegood, especially, takes a shine to the radio station and brings some of her friends to listen one year.
- Namely, Ginny, Hermione, Harry, and Ron
- Obviously, Hermione breaks a little bit
- “Muggle technology can’t work here!” “This is obviously just fiction!” “This can’t be a real place!”
- Ron and Harry work together to stop her and they all listen in rapt attention
- Ginny falls in love with the station, and Harry likes it
- Ron doesn’t buy it
- Hermione is convinced it’s fictional, and that there’s no such place as ‘Night Vale’
- Years later, Luna takes a trip to America after graduation
- And Hermione receives a post card with the words “Welcome to Night Vale” on it and a photo of Luna in front of the sign
- She has to sit down and absorb it
- It’s a tradition for seventh years to tell first years what they need to know about the radio
- Most importantly, not to turn off the radio
- It’s a tradition that still stands today.
- It’s a big reason of why Ravenclaws are the weirdest, wackiest, and most creative house as a whole
(I plan on doing different crossovers with Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin, too, this is just my Ravenclaw pride coming through)