Catholic Problems

Things Catholic Girls Like

- babies
- The rosary
- Mama Mary
- NFP
- Novenas to St Anne
- babies
- chapel veils
- cardigans
- maxi skirts
- St Teresa of Avila
- St Therese of Lisuex
- St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
- Pope Francis
- babies
- bemoaning the lack of cute, Catholic guys
- bemoaning the lack of cute, Catholic guys not in the seminary
- babies
- crying in confession
- crying in Mass
- crying in adoration
- complaining about not finding modest outfits
- babies
- saints bracelets
- saints medals
- researching awesome orders while discerning
- whining about not being able to be a nun and have lots of tiny humans at the same time
- babies
- fangirling over deacons
- fangirling over priests
- fangirling over bishops
- fangirling over popes
- picking which Saints to name their kids after
- babies
- praying outside abortion clinics
- being pro-life
- debating with pro-abortion advocates
- babies

Catholic Problems #22

“Post-Abortion Syndrome is due to-”

“Source?”

“The Catholic Church is the largest charitable orga-”

“Source?”

“Jesus said-”

“Source?”

“My favorite pie flavor is-”

“Source?”

*bounds off like a dutiful bunny and provides sources*

“Those sources are Catholic, therefore they are biased.”

“But the sources are right at the bottom, its made up of non-Catholic studies and just compiled by Catholics-”

“Nope. They are infected. Find non-Catholic sources.”

*bounds off like a dutiful bunny and provides non-Catholic, nonpartisan sources*

“Well…they’re still biased. So they prove nothing.”

“How are they biased?”

“Because you provided them, and you are a Catholic, and biased. We need pro-choice, pro gay marriage liberals retrieving pro-choice, pro gay marriage liberal sources to determine facts, because those are unbiased.”

(Disclaimer)

Litany of a Twenty-Something

Lord, have mercy,

Christ, have mercy,

Lord, have mercy,

Christ, hear us,

Christ graciously hear us,

God the father, have mercy on us,

God the Son,

God the Holy Spirit,

God the Holy Trinity,

Oh, Jesus, who successfully navigated his twenties, Hear, me.

From nosy relatives asking about my vocation, Deliver me, Jesus.

From being shown, unsolicited, baby pictures,

From being in more wedding parties than I have fingers,

From being set up on disastrous blind dates,

From being mistaken for my teenage relatives’ parent,

From weekend nights at home alone,

From drunks hitting on me at the bar,

From ending up in a field completely unrelated to my degree,

From Facebook drama,

From busybodies asking me when I’m going to have kids,

From being the only person under fifty at daily Mass,

From  struggling to  hold on to past friendships out of solely sentimentality,

From nominal Catholics who don’t know their faith but still want to be married in the Church,

From the pain of not attending a Catholic university,

From the pain of not having studied Latin,

From crushes that will just lead me on,

From being dumped for the seminary or religious life,

From Catholicmatch.com,

From birth control advocates that will mock me for using NFP,

From wanting to be in a relationship because of the time of year,

From wanting to join an order because of the time of year,

From unpaid student loans,

From minimum wage jobs,

From continuing to live with my parents after graduation,

From inconsiderate roommates,

From unchaste dates,

From toxic friendships,

From irresponsible coworkers,

From unreasonable managers,

From leaving my twenties not in a vocation.

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, take pity on us, O Lord.

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, spare us, O Lord. 

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, graciously hear us, O Lord.

Let us pray.

O God, whose only Begotten Son, O Lord, who spent his twenties working under a master of His trade, before beginning His own ministry of service in His thirties, take pity on us who have  yet to find our vocation and are struggling through our young adulthood. We beseech you, O Lord, to teach us how to be holy now, so that it will be easy to sanctify us later. We ask all this, through the same Christ Our Lord.

Amen.