2/20 favorite episodes : Liege Lord (1x17) “I’m going to be Queen of France someday. And I hope to be a good queen. But France has you and your mother to look after her welfare. Scotland only has me. If it ever becomes a choice between our two countries, I will chose mine. In whatever way necessary.”
I am seriously concerned about the casting directors on Reign...
Guys, are they ok? Are they even trying? Do they think we’re stupid? Have they employed a script adviser to check the consistency of what they’re making? If they have, they need to fire them real quick, because whoever they are hasn’t seemed to realise that CATHERINE’S CHILDREN ARE ALL REAPPEARING AS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE who are WAY TOO OLD!
Let’s take a trip down memory lane to the good old days when Reign was kinda alright.
Remember this little guy? This lil’ cutie from Season 1? Lil’ Charles. Just in case this picture doesn’t make it quite QUITE clear that this person is a young CHILD, here’s another one:
He’s tiny right, I mean Megan Follows is small, and he barely reaches her shoulder. Ok good, we’ve established that Charles in Season 1 was a young child of around eight years old. Good stuff.
Now I know Reign has a habit of stretching, embellishing and basically destroying history. Mary and Francis are supposed to be like 14 at the start, and clearly they’re older, but that’s ok, that’s fine, we’ll roll with it.
The show begins in 1557:
Nice, some fluffy goats and fluffy clouds just to prove this. I’ve done my research people.
So in real life, ol’ Francie Boi was supposed to die in 1560 after being King for roughly one year
And sure thing, as I said, Reign likes to stretch history like, BEYOND the breaking point. So it’s entirely plausible that on the show Francis was king for a little bit longer, maybe we’ll give him an extra year or two. Which means the next time we see young dude Charlie he’ll have aged… hmmm around five years or so? He’ll be approx 12, right?
WRONG! What the FuCk ma dudes, this guy right here is NOT CHARKLES I don’t know who he is, but Catherine and the rest of them should all be really concerned, they’ve been hella duped! He’s frickin old enough to fool around with this random chick
He’s aged like 10 years in 5, and NO ONE EVEN NOTICED, not Catherine, not Francis, not Mary, and especially not anyone in the writing or casting department apparently.
Now let’s move onto Elisabeth, Catherine and Henry’s eldest daughter, dis chick from the pilot
Remember her? The one who married the Spanish dude, and then they had to have sex while a whole lot of old men watched, and Mary and her lil’ sweet naive buddies got all hot and flustered cos they were sneakily watching too? Yeah that one.
As you can see, this woman is clearly a BRUNETTE. Well, apparently Spain has really changed Elisabeth. Like, REEAALLY changed her. So good to see her back in 4x01! She goes by Leesa now, she’s blonde and older and basically looks like a completely different person…
I guess Catherine just has so many children she honestly can’t keep track and doesn’t even notice when they return to France looking like they’ve endured intense plastic surgery to reconstruct their faces, or somehow age them enormously.
Catherine has the names of all her children written in her bible, although her youngest son Hercule is missing, but I think the camera has just cut off the bottom of the page.
At the end of Season 3, Catherine brings back this dude below to lowkey threaten Charles with MUrdEr (the most ooc Catherine has ever been, honestly this show is just…)
Now god knows who this one is, I mean it could be Lil’ Henry making a comeback from Season 1 when he was blonde and cute (see below) and got kidnapped by his insane potato-sack-wearing half sister
If so, he too has had a significant dye job at the castle salon. Except whoever this kid is in Season 3, he can’t be Henry because he’s considerably younger than Charles
I mean, what’s the deal? Charles gets hit by the ageifying-ray gun, but his little bro Henry doesn’t? How is that fair?? They never actually mention him by name, so possibly it is Hercule.
Which would mean that this hunky blonde dude Megan’s been posting on her Instagram and captioning with “My boys”…
IS HENRY WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS! He looks even older than Charles, I CANNOT BELIEF THIS
This makes absolutely ZERO sense, I do NOT understand. The casting directors and writers of Reign either don’t comprehend human viewer intelligence and the ability to pick up on the ENORMOUS INCONSISTENCIES THEY THROW AT US WITH WORRYING REGULARITY, or they themselves have serious memory issues. Or possibly they just don’t care. I really don’t know.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to watch Reign now is by ignoring these massively aged characters, ignoring the yawn storylines, ignoring when the only original characters we have left suddenly rewrite their whole personalities; I’m looking at you Catherine ‘I would literally die for my children’ de Medici, suddenly going, ‘Oh yeah Charles, I have loooads of other sons, don’t you forget that, I might just kill you to become regent again, k, love you, bye.’
I’ll just focus on the pretty clothes and Megan Follows’ profound talent to somehow make something out of this steaming pile of insanity.
Long story short, the only thing Reign is consistent at, is being inconsistent.
Even so, I’ll watch it every week cos I’m total trash. Rip me.
“All available descriptions of Owen Tudor agree that he was ‘adorned with wonderful gifts of body’. Some claim that Catherine was unable to forget him after accidentally spying him swimming naked one afternoon. Another story, judged probable in a recent history of the family, is that she first noticed him at a party in her rooms with the energetic Owen performed a dance move that unfortunately did not finish as competently as it commenced. He tripped and fell into the Queen Mother’s lap.
They were smitten and although she never could follow what her new in-laws were saying since she neither spoke nor understood Welsh, and Owen was the only member of his family to speak English, the couple loved each other enough to face down the tidal wave of disapproval that crashed over them once their marriage became public knowledge. Servants reported that when the couple made love, Queen Catherine could be heard screaming with pleasure, a dynamic to their relationship that presumably made disregarding the critics an awful lot easier.”
THE START OF A NEW DYNASTY: Catherine of Valois & Owen Tudor
Catherine remarried in secret sometime in 1431 or 1432 after the death of Henry V. Her new husband was Owen ap Maredudd ap Tudur of Wales. Somewhere at this time, the Queen stopped living in the King’s household and in May 1432 Parliament granted Owen the rights of an Englishman. This was important because of Henry IV’s laws limiting the rights of Welshmen.
There are many tales, most unsupported, of how Catherine and Owen met. Owen was probably born in about 1400, and may have gone to war in the service of Henry V’s steward Sir Walter Hungerford in 1421 in France. We don’t know for sure what position Owen held when he met the Queen, but he was most likely keeper of the Queen’s household or wardrobe.
Despite all the romantic embellishments by later writers, it seems that Owen and Catherine were attracted to one another and were legally married in the early 1430s. At some point, an English bookkeeper or scribe (possibly confused by the Welsh patronymic naming scheme) recorded Owen ap Maredudd ap Tudur as “Owen Tudor”.
Owen and Catherine had at least four children, although their only known daughter died young. Edmund, Jasper and Owen, the three sons born to the couple, were all born away from court.
Catherine entered Bermondsey Abbey, possibly seeking a cure for an illness that had troubled her for some time. She made her will just three days before her death on January 3, 1437. She now rests at Westminster Abbey in Henry V’s Chantry Chapel.
After the Queen’s death, Owen and Catherine’s enemies decided to proceed against Owen for violating the the law of the remarriage of the Dowager Queen. Owen appeared before the Council, acquitting himself of all charges and was released. On his way back to Wales, he was arrested and his possessions seized. He tried to escape from Newgate jail in early 1438 and eventually ended up at Windsor Castle in July of that year.
Meanwhile, Owen and Catherine’s two older sons, Edmund and Jasper, were sent to live with Catherine de la Pole, who was abbess of Barking and sister to the Earl of Suffolk. Sometime after 1442, the King (their half-brother) took a role in their upbringing. Owen, their father, was eventually released on £2000 bail, but was pardoned in November 1439 (and the bail canceled in 1440). Owen was treated well afterwards and was in the household of the King until the mid-1450s.
i am kind of sad that claude wasn’t around on reign when king henry was still alive, because for some reason i feel very sure that henry would just dote upon her and find her antics completely delightful (a la mona lisa saperstein and her pa on parks & rec), and it would drive catherine 200% – nay, 300% – crazy [x]
By 1417 Henry V was ready to renew his campaign. At this stage his successes had made him virtually master of Paris, yet he was in no rush to complete his mission and remained in Normandy, which was now almost completely under English control. Anxious for an amicable settlement, and keen to reopen negotiations, the pragmatic Isabeau, saw a match between Catherine and Henry as the only way to salvage the situation. It was rumoured that Princess Catherine, aware, perhaps of Henry’s previous proposals, and flattered by his interest and the prospect of a crown, ‘had very early set her mind on being Queen of England’ and that she was not averse to her mother’s schemes. Taking matters into her own hands the Queen sent her ambassadors to Henry with a portrait of the young daughter, already known to her people as 'Catherine the Fair’ because of her good looks; and ordered them to enquire whether so beautiful a princess required so great a dowry. Her plan failed, for although the King declared Catherine, 'surpassingly fair’ to Isabeau’s irritation he remained immovable.
By the close of 1418 Rouen had fallen into English hands and a peace conference was held at Melun. Confident that her daughter’s personal charms would succeed where her portrait had failed, the determined Queen ensured that Catherine was included as one of the party. In the richly ornamented enclosure at Pontoise, seated on opposing sides, both surrounded by men-at-arms, Catherine of Valois was first introduced to her future husband. Although the King appeared quite taken with the French princess, he still made no effort to lower his demands. Outraged at this stalemate, the Queen decided to take action and at the next meeting, Catherine was nowhere to be seen. Contemporary chroniclers note the King’s anger, and declare that by now 'Éit was plainly to be seen that King Henry was desperately in love.’ He became enamoured.
These terms, which reversed the sovereignty of France and disinherited the Dauphin, were made official in the Treaty of Troyes. While her distressed husband remained out of sight and her dispossessed son, Dauphin Charles retreated to Bourges, Queen Isabeau gave the Treaty her wholehearted approval. If Catherine had any reservations about disinheriting her brother they were never documented, and it seemed to her contemporaries that despite the harshness of the treaty Catherine remained almost as keen for the match as her mother. Whatever her motives, Philip of Burgundy declared that from the moment of their first meeting, the princess 'had passionately longed to be espoused to King Henry’. Henry and Catherine were betrothed on 21st May 1420 and a few weeks later were married in a magnificent ceremony at Troyes. According to one contemporary, such pomp and magnificence was displayed during the ceremony, 'as if he had been king of the whole worldÉ’
Queens of England +Catherine of Valois (1401-1437)
Catherine was born in 1401, the youngest daughter of Charles VI of France and Isabella of Bavaria. Her older sister Isabella was Richard II’s second queen. Early in her life there was discussion of marrying her to Henry IV’s son but he died before negotiations could begin. The new king, Henry V, also proposed the match but he demanded a large dowry and acknowledgement of his right to the throne in France.
Henry went to war with France but plans for the marriage still continued even after the Battle of Agincourt in 1415. Catherine was known to be very beautiful and when Henry met her at Meulan he became enamored of her. In May 1420 a peace treaty was made between England and France in which Henry was acknowledged as Charles’ heir and Catherine married him in June.
Catherine returned to England with Henry and was crowned queen in Westminster Abbey in February 1421. In June of that same year Henry returned to France to continue his campaign. By the time he left Catherine was pregnant and gave birth to a son, Henry, in December. Catherine was made a queen dowager less than a year after the birth of her son when her husband died in August 1422 of dysentery in France.
Catherine’s youth was a concern to her brother-in-law, Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester and Lord Protector, as she was still marriageable. To prevent Catherine’s marrying without permission, the Parliament of 1427-8 introduced a bill setting the rules for the remarriage of a queen dowager. The bill stated that if she married without the king’s consent, the husband would lose his lands and possessions. It also stipulated the king could only grant permission once he had reached his majority. At the time the bill was written Henry VI was only 6.
Catherine lived in the king’s household, presumably to care for him. However, this arrangement also allowed the councilors to watch over the queen herself. Despite the surveillance, Catherine began a romantic relationship with the Welshman Owen ap Maredudd ap Tudor who served as her clerk of the wardrobe. The two soon became inseparable despite the danger of them being exposed. Unable to stay at court, Catherine retreated from court life into the countryside. She and Owen secretly married on an unknown date in the early 1430s. Catherine managed to conceal the marriage and the birth of her sons, Edmund, Jasper, and Owen by living in complete retirement.
In 1436, when she was pregnant with her fifth child, rumors of Catherine’s secret marriage reached the Duke of Gloucester. Finding this to be true, he swiftly punished her. He dissolved her household, sent her children away, and imprisoned Owen in Newgate. Catherine herself was sent to Bermondsey Abbey. The heavily pregnant Catherine was gravely ill by this time and distressed by the separation from her family. She soon gave birth to a daughter, Margaret, who died shortly after birth. Catherine never recovered from the birth and she died in January 1437.
She was laid in state at St. Catherine’s Chapel at the Tower of London and later buried in the Lady Chapel at Westminster Abbey. (x)