Carried-on-the-back

9

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away

GUYS HOLY SHIT

THIS IS SO DARK & FOREBODING

THE LETTERS ARE RED

AND WE JUST SAW A HALLMARK FIGURE OF DARK!REY

WHAT IS GOING OOOOOON

Will Rey turn to the dark side, leaving Luke as the last Jedi? Will the Jedi be destroyed and reborn into a new kind of Force User? Are Rey and Kylo going to be King and Queen of the galaxy? IM SLAIN

8

Final Fantasy XV Chapters | 14. Homecoming |

Noctis leaves his prison to find himself on Angelgard. His father’s ship is moored at shore, none the worse for wear. It now carries him back to Galdin Quay—back to his kingdom.

10

jalec au aesthetic the vow
“I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.”

anonymous asked:

Imagine: a photoshoot of louis and harry of them laying on grass and looking fondly at each other, of harry carrying louis on his back and standing in a field full of flowers, of them laying in a soft looking white sheets with harry's head on louis' chest, of them kissing with a rainbow behind them :(

i hereby officially place you in charge of harry and louis’ first photo shoot as a couple

anonymous asked:

ok im sorry to just barge in but imagine alexander coming home to thomas giving pip a piggy back ride and he ends up carrying alexander while alexander is carrying pip FOR NO APPARENT REASON. -imagine anon

Thomas can carry them both to bed if need be

Back of the Hall

Pairing: Sam x Reader 

Summary: It’s been four years since they’ve seen each other and a lot has changed since then. But has their feelings for one another changed along with everything else? 

Warnings: swearing, fluff, implied smut 

Words: 6,613 (fuck me, I got carried away…)

A/N: Part 3 to Back of the Class! Minor character changes as I believe four years can have that affect on you. There will be a fourth part to this to explain something that was written in part 2. So be on the watch out for that! :) please do excuse any mistakes in this, I decided to reread it at 2 in the morning and I would not be surprised if I missed something. 

Also, sorry, not sorry, for the ending ;) x  

MASTERLIST


Today was a day with no classes and you were going to take advantage of that and read the book, War and Peace, which your Literature professor handed you. But the nagging voice that came from your flat mate, who also happened to be your best friend, ruined that entire concept. You were on the bed reading the book that you were beginning to grow interested in when she walked into your room and asked that one question most women ask their friends.

“Does my ass look good in these pants?”

You rolled your eyes and reread the sentence she had interrupted you on. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see her put her hand on her hip and stare at you with little to no patience. You would’ve snickered if you hadn’t known that she was about to have a volcano eruption between her legs. She’d probably wonder why she was being so emotional and then realize that she’s about to get her period in a week’s time.

“How am I supposed to know?”

“By giving me your undivided attention and looking at my ass,” Carmen groaned as she trudged over towards you and ripped the book out of your hands. You were about to yell at her but she gave you a stern look that made you close your mouth with no protest.

“Why are you so concerned when you’ll be sitting for two hours?”

She looked at you as if you had four heads and eight arms.

“What if my professor is hot? What if there are hot students in my class? I need to look good,” She pondered, staring dreamingly off into space at the thought of her finding her prince charming in a class she didn’t enjoy.

“What if your professor is an old perverted man? What if there aren’t any hot students in your class? You’ll be looking good for no reason other than for your professor to find pleasure in the shape of your ass,” You’d interrupted her train of thoughts which earned a glare in your direction. You sent her an innocent smile and sat up to look at her properly.

“Can you just answer the first question I asked you?”

Sending her a cheeky grin, you signaled her to spin around slowly. As she did, you noted down that you could see the outline of her underwear through the tight pair of pants, but other than that, she looked good.

“Change your underwear,” you told her, “Put on a thong, but other than that, your ass looks fab. Now get out before you’re late for class again!”

Carmen grinned and rushed forward to kiss your cheek and give you a quick hug. You hugged her back and kissed her cheek in return, as she quickly raced back to her room to change her undergarment. You looked over to the still open book on your desktop and then out the window to see that it was quite sunny outside.  

“Alright, I’m leaving! I love you, bye!”

“Love you, too!” You shouted back just before you heard the front door slam shut. Now, you could enjoy the peace and quiet in the comfort of your apartment or you could go outside and sit under a tree whilst reading the very interesting novel whist enjoying the nice weather in the process. You decided with the latter and stood to put on your sandals.

You grabbed your handbag and bookmarked the book before placing it in your bag and walking to the kitchen. Opening the pantry door, you wondered what you could snack on and decided to just binge on a packet of salt and vinegar chips. You grabbed a cold water bottle from the fridge before you left the kitchen and exited the apartment, locking it behind you.

The walk from yours and Carmen’s shared apartment to Stanford University was only a five minute trip. You had thought of walking to the park that would’ve taken thirty minutes to walk to, but you felt relevantly lazy today, so you opted to just reading outside the school you and Carmen had went to. That and you were damn proud of yourself for making it into Stanford and you wanted to show off the fact you actually attended this college.

Looking around, you noticed that there weren’t many trees to sit under, and if there were, they were right next to the car parking spaces and you didn’t want to get distracted by the sound of a car’s engine. So, you walked over to the garden and sat on one of the benches, propping your legs up and leaned your back against the arm rest.

You got the book and the packet of chips out of your bag before opening the chips and placing it between your legs. You opened the book to where you left off and begun munching on the salty goodness whilst enjoying the book written by Leo Tolstoy. It didn’t take you long to become engrossed in the book again and you blocked out your surroundings in the process.

God only knows how you allowed time to pass by so quickly, but before you knew it, it was already three in the afternoon and you had been out for four hours. You vowed that you’d read this one last page before packing up and heading back home before Carmen had a heart attack.

“What’s the first thought that comes to mind when someone mentions a lake?”

If you weren’t having been reading a book that you had taken a keen interest in, you wouldn’t have thought of a thousand ways to kill the man who asked you the random question. Who the hell even comes up with that sort of question in the first place? But come to think of it, what is the first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions a lake? Sam Winchester. The boy you had fallen so deeply in love with at the age sixteen.

“An old flame,” you answered, not bothering to look up from your book as you continued to read the lines. That was until the man decided to sit next to your feet and steal the book out of your hand.

“I’d say the flame was still lit, but if that’s how you feel,” his reply made you look up and take in the appearance of an older looking man who’s facial features reminded you of your first love. It couldn’t be him though; four years couldn’t do that much difference, could it? He looked tall and his hair was still the same length. His jaw was more prominent and it made you weak in the knees.

“No,” you shook your head, “You can’t be Sammy. Look at you! You’ve had a growth spurt!”

“I hate that nickname, Y/N,” he chuckled as stood again, holding a hand out for you, “But it’s me.”

You immediately took his hand and he pulled you to stand up in front of him. The two of you took in each other’s appearance, studying the changes that had happened since the last time you saw each other. You couldn’t hold back any longer, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him tightly to you. He clearly felt the same way as his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and held you tight against him.

He definitely had a growth spurt, you thought.

“You made it into Stanford?” You pulled back to see his face, not wanting to let go of him.

“That I did and I see you did, too,” he answered with a kind smile and the dimples that marked his cheeks made you inwardly whine at the sight. One day, somebody was going to find your motionless body and the cause of your death would be Sam fucking Winchester and his damned good looking self.

“Just barely made it in,” you told him as your hands slid down his arms, “What are these? Are these muscles?”

“How have you been? It’s been so long,” Sam shook his head at your comment as you squeezed his biceps, “You’re much more beautiful than I remember.”

“I’ve been good, what about you? How’s Dean?” Your cheeks burned pink at his compliment and stung from smiling too much, “You’ve still got a hint of a baby face, but my god, you’re hot.”

“I’ve been great, so has Dean. In fact, he’s travelling around the country with dad,” his smile faltered a little, but he showed no sign of remorse as he smirked in reply, “I’m still waiting to be able to shave; I’m living a sad life.”

“Such a cry baby,” you giggled, “God, I really missed you.”

“I missed you, too, Y/N/N,” he said, his hands squeezing your hips softly, “I honestly thought I’d never be able to see you again.”

“Thought you could get rid of me that easily?” You teased, your hands slowly dropping down his arms to grip his forearms. You didn’t want to let go of the man you had dreamed about for the past few years. The same man you gave yourself to four years ago the night before he left.

“I wish,” he playfully remarked before his smile turned sullen, “Wish I could never get rid of you.”

“Well, here I am in the flesh, impossible to rid.” You honestly hoped that you’d become impossible to get rid of, especially after reuniting with your high school lover. All the countless prays and endless wishing on shooting stars had finally paid off. Your wish was granted and your prayers were answered.

“I’m glad,” he truthfully replied as he glanced over your shoulder quickly before looking you back in the eye, “Want to meet up later tonight? I have to head to class, I just seen you reading here and I couldn’t believe my damn eyes.”

“I’m glad you came up and spoke to me,” you stepped away from him only to feel the overwhelming feeling of need to be in his arms again. “I’d love to catch up tonight. What time?”

“Six sound good? I’ll take you out to dinner,” he took his phone out and handed it over to you, “here, put your number in and I’ll text you for your address.”

You grabbed his phone and type your number in, saving it under your nickname before handing it back to him. He quickly sent a text off and you heard your phone going off signaling you had a new message. You smiled giddily up at him, before grabbing your bag and stuffing your book and now empty packet of chips in it.  

“See you tonight,” you spoke softly as you stepped to the side to let him through. You blushed at the adoring look he gave you and looked down at your feet. His hand reached up to lift your head up as his face neared yours, making your breathing hitch as you felt his fan over your face. But he turned his direction and kissed you on your cheek instead, making you breathe out a disappointed breath.

“Can’t wait,” he whispered before walking off to the entrance of the school, leaving you with a heavy weight on your knees and an empty mind. The only thought you could think of was if any of this was real or if it were another one of your crazy dreams that you so desperately wished would happen in reality.

Nonetheless, you gripped your bag tightly and sprinted back to your apartment where Carmen would be waiting. You needed to tell her what had happened before you exploded with a mix of excitement and shock. By the time you entered the lobby you were breathless and already regretting your decisions as you felt a stitch in the side of your body.

Fuck, I’m really unfit; you panted as you pressed the button to your floor and waited for the elevator to arrive on your floor. As soon as you heard the familiar ding, you quickly walked out and down the hall to your apartment whilst clutching your side tightly. You knew Carmen would’ve left the door unlocked, so you opened the door and shut it before leaning against it.

Your eyes were closed as you took in deep breaths to try and ease the sharp pain and to calm your pants. By the time the pain subsided, you opened your eyes to see Carmen already looking at you from the couch. You looked over to the TV to see she was watching another episode of Friends and cursed her quietly for watching it without you. You had the smallest crush on Joey and you weren’t going to let Carmen know about it.

“By the looks of your face, you’re about to tell me something that I won’t believe,” she spoke carefully, turning her attention towards you and forgetting about the show you both loved. You had no idea how to tell her who you had just seen without her calling you a prevaricator.

“Well, you won’t believe who I just bumped into,” you replied, moving away from door and over to the couch she was sitting on and plonked down beside her. Joey had said something and it made you groan and turn the TV off before either of you could get distracted by his good looking face.

“Oh! Let me guess, fat Betty from tenth grade? Is she skinny now? I should befriend her, she seemed nice apart from her many bitchy comments about my hair,” Carmen mumbled to herself as she begun to get lost in her train of thoughts.

“What? No,” you shook your head and stared at her in disbelief, how she could remember people that she didn’t associate with was astounding. You barely even remembered who you shared classes with, yet she managed to remember the entire student body.

“Who was it then?”

“Sam Winchester,” you divulged, earning a snort from her. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her as she begun to turn to face the TV again with no interest to talk any further about the sore subject. The two of you vowed to never speak of them again unless you both encounter either boy at some point in life. She was left heartbroken when Dean left, and it was obvious that it still stung to hear his name or his brother’s.

“You’re right,” she said as she reached for the remote to turn the television back on, “I don’t believe the fucking words you just said.”

“We’re meeting up later tonight,” you pressed, hoping she’d actually believe the words you were saying. She looked over at you and studied your face, clearly searching for truth behind your words. Once she was satisfied, she turned back to face and pursed her lips. Neither of you had believed that you’d see the Winchester’s ever again, so you could understand why she was acting this way.

“What about his brother? Say anything about him?” She finally asked after a few minutes of silence. Your heart ached for her as she tried to demolish the pain that became evident in her features.

“Nothing except for that he travels a lot with their father,” you replied to her question, watching her face for any sign of her breaking down at any given moment. But she held herself together, and looked up at you with a smile on her face as she pushed down any unwanted emotions.

“What a shame. Wanted to see if that hot mess is still a hot mess,” she sighed dramatically, attempting to shift her mood to a happier one, “Is Sam hot?”

“I need to change my underwear,” you gushed with rosy cheeks, jokingly fanning yourself in the process. It made Carmen emit a laugh and you were glad that your best friend wasn’t torn up about this. You’d wanted nothing than for her to be happy and you knew she wasn’t the closest bit to it, but hearing her laugh was enough to tell you that she was going to be alright.

“That hot?”

“Hot enough to make me sweat between my legs,” you nodded and turned to face the television that she now turning back on. The episode was just about to end and you received a glare from Carmen as she rewinded the video tape to watch the part she got interrupted on.

“Wow,” she mumbled quietly before hitting your arm at a sudden thought she had, “by the way, remind me to wear sweatpants and a baggy jumper to Literature.”

“Perverted professor?”

“More like a perverted student that I’m assigned to work on a project with,” she visibly shuddered before turning her attention back to the show. You suddenly remembered that received a text and opened your bag to find your phone before pulling it out. It was from an unknown number so you knew immediately that it was from Sam. You quickly saved his number under the name ‘Samuel,’ remembering the day he had told you his full name and teasing him the whole day, before reading the text he had sent.

Samuel: You have no idea how happy I am to have bumped into you. I can’t wait to see you tonight, beautiful.

The smile on your face didn’t go unnoticed by Carmen as she peeked over your shoulder to see who texted you and felt a pang in her chest but she felt happy nonetheless at the mere thought of you finally being happy. You quickly sent your address to him before turning your attention to the screen playing your favourite show.


After another two episodes of Friends, Carmen had rushed you off to go shower and make sure your skin with perfectly smooth and clean for your night with Sam. You were giddy at the thought of spending time with him again after four years of being apart. You couldn’t help but wonder if he still felt the same after all these years, because if you were being completely honest with yourself, your heart still yearned for the hazel eyed man.

You were currently standing in your bedroom in front of your wardrobe trying to find an outfit to wear. You couldn’t ask Carmen to borrow some of her clothes because she was smaller than you and you’d never be able to fit in her size. The sound of someone knocking on the front door caught your attention, making you panic because you weren’t even close to being ready.

“I’ll get it!” Carmen yelled out and you thanked her mentally.

Carmen bounced gleefully to the entrance and opened the door to reveal an older looking version of the younger Winchester. For the past three hours, she had been contemplating whether or not you were just a big fat liar and that you hadn’t really bumped into Sam. But the man you had spoken of was standing right in front of her and she couldn’t believe her fucking eyes.

“Holy fuck balls, is that really you Sam?”

She inwardly cussed about cussing out loud and vowed that she’d punish herself for doing so later on. But then she remembered that her care factor was zero and your father had taught her to cuss the world away.

“Yeah,” he laughed as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “It’s great to see you again Carmen.”

“Holy shit,” she gasped as she stepped aside and signaled for him to come in, “You’re no longer little Sammy! You’re Sam fucking Winchester!”

“I don’t remember you cursing so much,” he cocked a brow in her direction and chuckled to himself. No wonder why Dean had fallen head over heels for this woman; she had a mouth that talked like a sailor. Something she and Dean had in common.

“I blame it on Y/N’s father and the stress of school,” she shrugged as she shut the front door before turning her full attention to the tall man, “The Devil is just getting ready.”

She wanted as Sam looked around the apartment and studied his surroundings. He shook his head and smiled when he noticed posters of various bands and celebrities had been pinned to the wall, clothes were all over the place and a bowl of popcorn was sitting on the coffee table with eight bottles of beer. He thought women were supposed to be clean but was shocked to find the total opposite.

“How’ve you been?” He turned his attention back to Carmen who stood staring at him in astonishment. The sixteen year old boy she had known four years ago was no longer a boy – he was a man and a prepossessing man at that.

“I guess I’ve been good, yourself?” She replied honestly as she sat on the back of the couch, studying his appearance. If Sam looked this great, how did Dean look? She’d wonder. It was no shocker that the green eyed man was still on her mind after all these years separating them.

“Great now,” he said in return, he truly did feel great after bumping into the woman he had fallen in love with four years ago, “You know, Dean wanted to go back and run away with you.”

“He told me that, even asked me if I would run away with him,” she laughed softly at the memory, suddenly taking interest in her feet that were covered in pink fluffy socks, “I never told him an answer, just kissed him and said my goodbye.”

“You were all he thought about for a long time,” he whispered as he thought back to the countless times Dean would stare off into space and ignore his father’s demands. He had called himself a fool for not staying with Carmen, even called himself a fool for falling in love with her despite knowing that he was only in town for two months.

Neither of the Winchester brother’s was happy after splitting from the girls that had flipped their worlds upside down. For once in their life, they were both genuinely happy and when two months was up, it was all ripped out of their hands. Dean would silently sulk about losing a woman who he had trusted with his heart and wished that he’d be able to see Carmen again. Sam would sulk and pray that he would see you again at Stanford. At least Sam’s wish came true.

“He was all I thought about, too,” she sighed as she tried to rid her thoughts of the emerald eyed man, “But the past is the past. As long as he’s happy, I am, too.”

Sam looked as if he were about to protest because he knew that she was not happy and neither was Dean. But movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention as his head snapped to see you leaving your bedroom and his jaw dropped at the sight. You were wearing a loose mini short-sleeved leather black dress with ankle boots. Your hair was straight and you had minimal make up on, but you still looked beautiful in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry that I took forever to get ready,” you apologized profusely before looking up to see both Sam and Carmen staring at you with obvious heart eyes. Carmen sent you a subtle thumb up and a wink whilst Sam tried to regain his consciousness. In that moment, he believed that Angel’s existed.

“No problem, I was just catching up with Carmen,” he stammered with his words, unable to keep his gaze off of you. It was weird seeing you wearing blue jean and a brown camisole three hours ago to seeing you in short leather dress now.

You walked over to them both and smiled warmly in Sam’s direction. He looked handsome despite wearing jeans and a black button up shirt. You turned to Carmen and noticed the pained look on her face and opened your arms as an invitation. She gladly accepted your invitation and wrapped her arms around you as you rubbed her back comfortingly.

“Alright, kids, no later than eleven,” she warned after pulling back and smiling softly at you, “bring her back safely.”

“He will, mum,” you rolled her eyes before leaning forward and kissing her cheek, “Love you.”

“Love you more, Y/N,” she kissed yours in return and looked over your shoulder to smile at Sam, “Keep in touch, Sammy! I want to hear all about your little adventures the past few years.”

“Absolutely,” he grinned at her as you walked over to him and stood beside him, “I want to hear the story about when you first cussed.”

“When I was thirteen, bitch,” Carmen begun, a grin making its way to her face. You could see her mind clear any thoughts of the elder Winchester and you were thankful for Sam making her forget whatever conversation they were having.

“Living the thug life since the age thirteen,” he replied as she let out a laugh, making you chuckle along with her. His arm snuck around your waist and he begun to lead you toward the door.

“That’s me; now fuck along so I can enjoy my peace and quiet.” Carmen jokingly snapped as she ushered you both out of the apartment and into the empty hallway. She closed the door after another quick converse of goodbyes before Sam had led you to the elevator.

The two of you remained silent as you got into the elevator and waited for it to reach the bottom floor. You were surprised to find that the silence was comforting rather than awkward and unbearable, something you had expected after not seeing each other for a long time. But with his arm still around your waist and yours absentmindedly sliding around his, you knew that tonight was going to be great.

At least, you hoped it would be great. You hadn’t seen each other in what seemed like forever and God only knew how the other felt. Sam was evidently nervous as his free hand scratched the back of his neck as he walked with you silently down the road.

“You look beautiful,” he spoke softly, breaking the silence that had enveloped you both. You blushed and looked down at your feet as you tried to hide the fact that your cheeks were stained crimson. You mumbled that he hadn’t looked too bad himself, which in reply; you received a kiss to the crown of your head and a soft squeeze on your hip.

You looked up after a minute and realized that he was leading you to the university. You furrowed your brows and looked up at him, but he only smiled in return and kept leading you towards the school. Not knowing what to say, you allowed him to take you where he wanted to and soon enough, you were standing outside an empty classroom before he lead you inside and walked down the back row to sit down.

“What are we doing here?” You asked, confused as he gestured for you to take a seat beside him. You did as you were signaled and sat down beside him, looking around the quiet classroom with confusion evident in your features.

“I’m feeling nostalgic,” he replied, leaning back in his seat as he intertwined his hands and rested them on his stomach.

He looked to the front of hall and smiled at the memory that begun to flood his mind. It was something about classrooms and you that he was quite fond of. The simple thought of sitting with you in a classroom made him joyous.

“So, you’re making me sit with you in the back of the hall all because you feel nostalgic?” You let out a giggle and copied his actions, slouching in your seat and resting your hands on your stomach. He turned his head to grin at you with pink tinged cheeks.

“It’s how we first met, kind of,” he was blushing significantly now, almost embarrassed to have remembered a simple memory of how you both first met, “I met you in an empty classroom and headed towards the back row but you said that wasn’t a good idea and here we are, four years later, sitting together in an empty classroom.”

The memory of the day you first met him was fresh in your mind as if it only happened yesterday. You could never forget the day Sam Winchester walked into your life. It was the day that you were blessed with a wonderful presence and given an insight of what love felt like. Of course, you still felt that love today. So, every memory you had with the youngest Winchester was going to be burned into your mind for the rest of your life.

“Except we’re sitting in the back row,” you pointed out, looking over at him with a cheeky smile.

“Shut up and enjoy the moment,” Sam rolled his eyes and continued to hold his gaze with yours. He had missed looking into your Y/E/C eyes just as you missed looking into his hazel ones. The love the two of you had for one another was still present and the both of you could feel it. Just one glance and you already knew that he felt the same way.

“I am,” you whispered as leaned your head against his shoulder, breaking the eye contact.

The two of you sat there for an hour discussing what had happened within the past four years before heading out to grab some dinner. You told him not to bother taking you anywhere fancy and that you’d honestly be grateful if he took you to McDonald’s for a fattening greasy burger that you so desperately desired. He ended up listening to you after five minutes of bickering about your choice of food.

The two of you sat at a booth and begun eating your meals, which consisted of you having a large meal with two beef burgers and him eating a chicken burger with salad. You stared at him as if he had committed a crime and pretended to gag when he begun to eat the salad. He rolled his eyes and told you to shut up, but you were persistent and kept teasing him, calling him a rabbit after some time.

“When I left you, you were a kind girl,” he took a sip of his coke before continuing to speak, “What happened to my innocent lover who had a massive heart?”

Your heart swelled and your cheeks warmed as you processed the words he said. He still thought of you as his lover and it made you feel giddy again.

“She was thrown out the window when we were in the back of the impala,” you commented, smirking at him as he choked on his drink. You threw your head back and laughed at him choking from your admission. You drew in glares from others for disturbing the quiet fast-food restaurant, but you couldn’t care any less. You were having fun with the man you loved, that was no sin.

“I often wonder why I fell in love with you,” he shook his head and smiled as he looked down at his now finished salad. You knew he was teasing you, but you leaned forward and looked at his face, curious to know the answer to the question you were about to bravely ask.

“Do you regret falling in love with me?”

Part of you was insecure and wanted to know the answer to the question in order to calm those unpalatable thoughts. But the other half kind of already knew. By the devotion and the adoring look in his gaze, you just knew that he never regretted a single moment of falling in love with you. But for reassurance, you decided to ask anyway.

“Not one bit,” he sincerely replied and you could feel his breath fan across your face. You fixed your gaze on his lips and all too suddenly, thoughts of wanting him pressed up against you burned your mind. Your skin felt hot at the impure thoughts and the impassioned stare Sam was giving you. But you shook your head to rid your thoughts and leaned back to stand up.

“How about we go somewhere else?”

Inclination flickered behind Sam’s hazel eyes and you would’ve missed it if you weren’t looking at him to begin with. You grabbed your rubbish and threw it in the trash, before following Sam out of the restaurant and back down the path you had come from. His arm immediately draped over your shoulders and tucked you into his side as yours wrapped around his waist.

You had only reunited with this man four hours ago and yet the two of you were acting as if nothing had happened. He acted as if you were still his lover and it made you swoon at the affection he gave you. Deep down, you had a feeling that you’d be seeing him again, even if it weren’t at Stanford. You believed that you loved him so much, that eventually fate would be on your side and push you back into Sam’s life again.

Here you were; silently thanking fate for bringing Sam to you again.

Both of you continued to bicker quietly amongst yourselves as you continued to walk. To where, to be exact? You had no idea. Sam had been leading the way since you left McDonald’s, but you trusted that he’d take you somewhere you’d both like. Soon enough, you ended up walking up the steps to somebody’s house and you presumed it was his home as he unlocked the door and guided you inside.

It was cool inside, a drastic change from the warm breeze of summer night. He led you into the lounge room and sat on the couch as he patted the seat beside him. You took your boots off and placed them beside the door before padding over and sitting down next to him. He smiled at your respective manner and draped his arm back over your shoulder as he looked over at you.

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

Whether it was the fact that he brought you back to his house or the fact that his presence made your mind go completely fanatical, but the surge of confidence you had was astounding. And you believe that either of the two were the cause of your outburst.

“Can we just make out?”

He didn’t bother to reply. He only smirked and shifted to face you as you did the same and you immediately blushed in realization that this was actually happening. You were going to kiss the man you had last kissed four years ago and you weren’t sure if you were absolutely ready or contemplating whether or not to leave before you fuck things up.

But when his hand brushed the hairs out of your face and tucked it behind your ear, all thoughts vanished and you only focused on two things. Those two things being Sam and his sinful lips, at least they were sinful in your dreams. You hadn’t realized you were holding in your breath until Sam had chuckled and told you to breathe. Your cheeks reddened in discomfiture.

“Wait,” you rushed out just as his face was nearing yours.

You needed to reassure yourself before you freely gave yourself to him again. He hadn’t bothered to lean back; instead he stared longingly into your eyes and waited for you to continue. You reached up and pushed his fringe out of his eyes before looking him back in the eye.

“Does this mean you still love me?”

He looked relieved to know that that had been your question. He had stated that he had fallen in love with you, not indicating whether he fell out or not, which lead to you wondering if he still did love you. You weren’t going to allow him to lead you on if it meant he didn’t love you anymore.

“I love you more than I thought I would,” he breathed out as the corners of his mouth turned up.  

You couldn’t help but lean forward and press your lips against his. Sam’s body had stiffened but quickly relaxed as he begun to kiss you back, his hand coming up and grasping the back of your neck and yours cupped his cheeks. The same fireworks you had felt when you first kissed were present and it shocked you to be able to feel them after four long years of not feeling them.

The kiss grew more heated as you begun to lean into him, eager to feel the warmth of his body against your own. Your hands groped every inch of his figure and his roamed yours and you silently thanked the lord for blessing you with a sexy man with a sexy body, despite not deserving something as perfect as Sam was. He pulled away quickly as the both of you attempted to catch your breaths.

“Do you still love me?”

You let out a breathless laugh and nodded, pecking his lips once more before cupping his face and looking in the eyes again. Man, you could get lost in them for eternity and you wouldn’t complain.

“I’ve loved you from the moment I met you and I’ll continue to love you until the day of my demise.”

Your answer seemed to have satisfied Sam as he wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you to straddle his waist before he stood up. You squealed at the sudden action and wrapped your arms around his neck tightly. He chuckled at you and carried you upstairs to his bedroom, where he planned to make endless love to you.

And he did. He showered you in kisses and marked your body in more ways than one. The night in the back of the impala was fresh in your mind as he made love to you the same way he did back then. Muttering sweet nothings to one another until the other had reached their climax. You had sent Carmen a text telling her that you won’t be home tonight but you’d be home sometime in the afternoon tomorrow. You’d felt your phone vibrate moments later and you froze in your place.

Carmen the Nun: All good, babe. Don’t forget the cumbrella ;-)

That had snapped you out of your honeymoon feeling and almost immediately you begun to panic. Sam had noticed this as he quickly sat up and looked at you with concern. His hands grabbed the sides of your face and forced you to look at him as he questioned what was wrong. But his words were blurred and you were thinking of multiple ways to punish yourself for this.

“Baby,” he cooed softly, “Tell me what’s wrong.”  

You looked him in the eye and wanted to cower away and hide away forever. The two of you were having the best night of your lives and here you were about to ruin it for the both of you. How could the two of you be so reckless and not think about wearing protection before having sex? How were you supposed to tell him that you were due for your period in two weeks? If you were due in two weeks, it had meant that you were currently ovulating and that usually meant a higher risk of getting pregnant.

Oh God, please forgive me, you groaned inwardly.

“We didn’t use protection,” you uttered out, “And I’m not on the pill and I’m currently ovulating.”

And that was not how either of you thought your night would end.  

anonymous asked:

2+3 jamilton for the prompt thing :D

“Please don’t cry, I can’t stand to see you cry” + “Stay with me”


The glass shattering was a surprise.

The shards of glass were scattered across the floor, thankfully not stuck in anyone’s foot. Alex gasped down at the mess, his mouth opening and closing, but for once nothing seemed to come to mind.

Thomas took in a shallow breath, feeling like he’d forgotten how to breathe for a second. Just a second. He stared at Alex, looking lost.

“Holy shit, Thomas, fuck- I didn’t mean to.” Alex said quietly, glancing back up to Thomas. “I just got carried away- I just..fuck, I’m sorry.”

Thomas bent down onto the ground, carefully starting to pick up the pieces. His shoulders were shaking, and he felt tears start to well up in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away, glaring down at the pointy shards that lay scattered across the floor.

Alex breathed shakily, wanting to move, to bend down and help, but he felt frozen in place. “Thomas- Thomas, please, I’m sorry.” He pleaded softly, finally able to gather enough strength to move from where he was standing. “I’m sorry for dropping the glass, I’m sorry for getting you into this mess, just say something! Please, I’m sorry!“ 

Thomas looked up at him, tears trailing down his face. He wiped at them angrily, standing up to his full height. He tried to look intimidating, but he just- couldn’t. His shoulders started to shake again, and he turned away from Alex quickly, not wanting him to see the tears. 

"No, no, please don’t cry.” Alex pleaded gently, putting his hand on Thomas’s shoulder. “I can’t stand to see you cry, please.” He shook Thomas’s shoulder, trying to get him to turn around, to look at him. Really look at him.

Thomas shook his head, pushing him away. He turned around, the tears streaming down his face. Alex had dropped the glass because they were fighting, like they always did. It was about this thing or that thing or who did what, and it was tiring. 

Alex flinched when he was pushed away, looking at Thomas sadly. “Why do you even stay with me?” Thomas asked quietly when Alex tugged at his sleeve again. “You obviously don’t like me, why do you even stay?” He seemed to break at this point, letting himself crumple to the ground. He was far enough away from the shards, of course, but the truth is he wouldn’t have really cared if he’d gotten stuck with glass a thousand times.

Alex put a hand to his mouth in surprise, quickly squatting down beside him on the floor. “No, Thomas, no, I love you, Thomas.” He said softly, trying to comfort him. Thomas looked a bit ridiculous, being the six-foot tall giant that he was, crumpled down on the floor like a child.

Thomas glared at him, shaking his head as the tears continued to stream down his face. “We always fight, no matter what we do, it always seems to end like this.” He pointed his hand angrily at the shards of glass scattered across the wooden floor. 

Alex glared back, clearly trying to think of something to say. Thomas got up from the floor, brushing himself off briskly. “You’ve got nothing, don’t you?” He asked quietly as Alex stood up as well. 

Alexander shook his head in defiance, grabbing Thomas’s arm before he could walk away. “Stay with me.” He pleaded, almost desperately. “I love you, even though you’re an asshole. Even though we fight a lot.”

Thomas looked at him, lost for a second time that night. “We’ve got to get better, Alex. I want to make this work. I want you.” He said gently, pulling Alex into a hug. 

Alex sighed in relief, hugging him back. “I know, we will, I promise.” He replied, nuzzling into his shoulder slightly. “You’re worth every second of fighting.”

flickr

Champion observation car backing in to TUS in 1974 by Tom Pavluvcik
Via Flickr:
The Amtrak Champion’s classic observation car carries the trainman directing the reversing procedure and blowing the back-up whistle as the southbound train approaches Tampa Union Station in 1974. Courtesy Mike Robbins

anonymous asked:

I absolutely love how Princess Leia's become a symbol of women's rights and fighting back (because of Carrie Fisher, not just cause of the character's personality). I've seen photos of protest signs with her on them, Princess Leia anti-Trump graffiti, etc. IDK, just felt like putting that out there

Me too! She was such an amazing woman.

The Gap

Buy that cap sleeved shirt.
I know it makes your shoulders look
Big.
Even though your white tummy
Holds fast to the soft pink fabric.
Big.
Even though the sales lady recommendeds A larger size

Little Girl,
You are big.
But that doesn’t mean you’re bad.
Your big shoulders move mountains
And pull water
Your big back carries
Books and even burdens
Your big tummy holds raspberries and
Chilli from your warm, safe mother
Who tucked you into a cozy
Big bed each night

Little Girl,
You are big.
And you are sharper than
A freshly honed pencil,
Goofy, like when you serve mud pies
Baked in the sticky, summer sun,
And brimming with life, like a
Vegetable garden with snow peas,
Even taller than you are.

And as I sit in a cold room
Lifeless, hopeless, weak,
With people I’ve never seen
And dreams in my nightmares
I am finally
Small.
But I am not me now.
Legs quietly swing off the unsoiled table
Nervously, then stop.
The clouds finally break
And the drought ends with rain
On my big cheeks.
Little Girl.
You are big.
And you are good. So good.

I know that this will hurt you..

larry.


“Can we just stay here for a few days instead of flying back home?” Her question drew my eyes away from my iPad.


“You wanna stay here – in LA?” I quizzed, shocked.


We hadn’t been home in forever, and I was sure that she missed it but she was proving me wrong.


“You not tired of hotel?” We’d done a hotel in Paris for nearly a week and then two different resorts in Malé.


“I mean,” She shrugged. “Not really. My clothes situation is off since I didn’t really pack when I was in my right mind.”


I thought about the way she’d left New York without me and rolled my eyes.


“But I can always just buy what I need.” She carried us back to the safe zone with her words.


“How long you want us to be here?” I quizzed, okay with the idea.


She shrugged. “Just a few days.”


We were only due to stay in this hotel for a few hours as we’d missed our connecting flight. And while I had slept in many airports I knew Marlee wouldn’t be down to.


“You wanna do different hotel?”


I looked around at the neutral walls and basic stock furniture. This place was close to the airport and convenient. It’s initial purpose was to give us somewhere to rest and recharge after our long and grueling flight but it was morphing into something quite different.


She looked around, eyeing the window that offered a view of the parking lot instead of the scenic LA mountainscape and then the mini fridge that held snacks that were anything but complimentary.


“This is fine.”


My brows hitched. “You sure? I want you to be comfortable.”


“I’m good, Larry. I’m not some pampered princess who needs a suite at the Beverly Wilshire.”


“You not?” I gasped with faux surprise.


She chuckled, rolling her eyes. “No.”


“Well,” I moved my iPad to the side, pressing my body to hers. “Then how you fool me and make me think that for all these years?”


Her eyes dropped and a blush consumed her cheeks. “I think you more than a princess.”


“Stop it, I’m getting turned on.” Her declaration deepened my grin.


“Then maybe I say, I think you a queen?” Laughter exploded from her lush lips.


“Stooopp,” She whined even as her eyes darkened. “I wanna go eat something.”


“I wanna eat something too.”


Her ability to leave me insatiable was no surprise. She was magical.


There was no way possible I could ever get enough of her. Her touch, her taste, the feel of her wrapped around me, her blissful facial expressions, the sounds she made…


I shifted, needing to get away from my thoughts. I too was hungry but I would starve in an effort to experience her. She would fill me up in more ways than one.


“Stop,” She breathed as she crawled across the bed and into my lap. Her warmth and weight brought instant comfort.


My hand instantly moved to her bare thigh, stroking upward. I smirked when she shifted and smiled when her flesh grew textured under my touch due to chill bumps.


The way Marlee reacted to me was one of my favorite things. I’d become a master of reading her, having dealt with years of nonverbal signs that she was aroused. Everything from the flare of her nostrils to the twitch of her thighs often told the story of what I did to her.


“Can we go to Larchmont Bungalow?” She quizzed, pulling me away from my thoughts.


I smirked. “You remembers that?”


“Yes,” Her nod was soft and her voice quiet.


“Tell me?”


“Tell you what?”


“What else you remember, Chinky?”


“I surprised you here when I found out about Laurent.” The mention of our son made me freeze. My heart ached as I recalled her flying out to personally notify me about our unborn son. My joy had propelled me to perform harder than I ever had with Monster.


“And I met Jay.” She moved on with ease. I’m not sure if she was being strong or sparing me because I was weak.


“Yesssss,” I laughed. “I think you get me fire because you act so crazy.”


“I did not!” She defended herself only it was no use. She’d nearly fainted when she met my boss’ mogul husband for the first time.


I shook my head. “You not remember right.”


“How you gonna tell me?”


“Because, girl with the broke head,” She gasped and lunged for me. “I remember better.” I easily dodged her advance.


“My head ain’t broke enough to not remember how that bird shitted on you on Hollywood Boulevard.” Her laughter closed the sentence and I peered at her, shocked.


She remembered the tiniest moments – things that could easily be written off as irrelevant. Her rediscovery of the past shun a much needed light on things I hadn’t necessarily forgotten but didn’t think of in the current times.


While there were intense shadows and some negativity, her memories were like a beacon of light. Her remembering little things and reminding me only intensified my adoration for her.


“I hate birds.” I mumbled, remembering my brand new Balmain tee that was ruined by the flying rodent.


“They hate you more.” She grinned. “You got shitted on in London too.”


Her cackles sounded and grew louder as I pushed her off of my lap and onto the soft mattress. She rolled onto her side, clutching her stomach as her laughter intensified.


“Is not funny,” I grumbled, even as I chuckled a bit.


I could remember that day like yesterday. We were young and not even dating yet when I revealed to her that London was less than three hours away via train. 


She’d assumed that because it was a different country it was super far. And my twin had no issue condescendingly informing her of the fact that European countries were not ‘stupid and big’ like American states.His rude declaration sparked an immediate argument between the two. 


After listening to Lau’s broken English and her snarky Brooklyn slang for five minutes I grew annoyed and settled things by promising Marlee to take her to the English speaking country.


The following week I did. And as I watched the girl of my dreams coo and take pictures of Big Ben I got shitted on by a malicious pigeon.


“You had on a white shirt too!” She hollered, eyeing me through eyes glazed over with tears.


“And I not have money to buy a new shirt cause I spend it all for this girl I think I like.” I expanded on the story. “Now she laugh at me so bad, I don’t know anymore.”


“If you like me?” She took a deep breath, coming down from her laughter.


My heart pounded rapidly in the confines of my chest as she wiped at her eyes, smiling at me. She was dangerous but I’d known that and still wanted everything to do with her. 


What she did to me was out of this world. She introduced me to the most intimate love. She managed to hold my attention for over ten years even with my short attention span.  


“Yeah,” I answered, distracted by her loving gaze and wide grin. “I maybe change my mind.”


“You looove me,” She sang, making her way back to my lap.


“I think maybe I don’t know.” I softly shrugged.


“Oh you know, nigga!” She playfully snapped, cradling my cheeks in her warm palms as my hands found their way back to her lush thighs.


My gaze locked on hers and my lungs nearly collapsed. Her smiling down at me with joy in her eyes and love in her heart was a sight I never wanted to erase.


She was most beautiful like this. Her face lacked all traces of makeup, her hair was wild and untamed and her skin rich in color from being freshly kissed by the sun. Her eyes were as bright as stars – she was happy, and as I peered at her I silently vowed to make her happy for the rest of my days.


I’d made the same promise before – mutely and verbally but I’d failed. I’d half-assed it and led her to despair. But I’d asked for redemption and because she loved me she granted it to me. I wouldn’t disappoint her – I couldn’t disappoint her.


I knew this was my final chance. She’d given me far too many – ones that she didn’t even remember. I knew that if I fucked up again she would leave me. She would leave me and make another man happy.


The thought burned my flesh and singed my bones. It was the concept of of a man snatching my world up from me. It was the concept of Pierre being that man that really fucked with me.


He, like me, was in total awe of Marlee. I saw it in his eyes when I caught them at Nello’s and heard it in his voice when I spoke to him months ago.


He was gone and it was understandable but completely unacceptable. Though Marlee wasn’t an object to be possessed she was mine and only mine. There was no room for Pierre in our future.


While I was sure that he wouldn’t pose a threat in the future I could admit that he had me every bit of shook when I spoke to him while Marlee was comatose.


He was far too determined to view her as only a friend. He was willing to do anything – to fight for her. It was evident. It was weaved through every word he spoke. He had a rebuttal for my every statement.  He tried to spin me in circles with his proper English. Had the situation not been a serious one I would have laughed at the insulting way he’d attempted to dumb things down to accommodate my foreign brain. He was a funny guy – very full of himself. 


I wanted to be upset as he boldly spoke to me but I realized that my lack-of had given him the bravado he possessed. My absence had left him with an immense amount of space to occupy. I’d fell off and like any other smart man he’d moved in. I understood that but I didn’t accept it – or respect it.


It was when he began speaking not only of my wife but for my wife that I got pissed. He addressed me as an outsider. He acted as though he knew Marlee better than me. He spoke of her with a confidence that made my stomach burn, and twitch, and roll. I’d struggled to hold my temper as he spoke about how miserable Marlee was – with me. And when I couldn’t take it anymore I ended the call with a gruff, ‘stay away from my wife’.


Deep down I knew my warning was more of a plea – one I prayed he took heed to.


His feelings for my wife were authentic and had he expressed them to Marlee while she was vulnerable I probably wouldn’t be here with her today. I’d probably be in Paris right now, trying to gather myself post-divorce.


I nearly quivered at the thought. It was a scary one.


It was hard to imagine my future sans my wife. That didn’t seem like a future at all – not a happy one at least. The imagery reeked of misery. Marlee had been in my life for far too long – she was my life. She powered me more than music and dance ever could. She was everything and I couldn’t believe my fears had nearly led to me loosing her.


“Was wrong?” Her warm palm cupped my chin as she directed my gaze to meet hers. “You’re frowning.”


I quickly straightened my face and shrugged. “We need to get dressed.”


Having already showered not too long ago we were clad in only our underwear.


Her will to protest was written all over her face but to my fortune she nodded, stood and headed towards my suitcase.


marlee.


“Why you sound like that?”


“Like what?”


“You sad?”I quickly pondered his question, giving himan answer in the form of a head shake before I could come to an honest conclusion.


I was sad – terribly so but I would never tell him that. I didn’t want him worrying for me. I was fine – I would be fine.


“You look sad.” He pressed and I went to work, schooling my features one by one.


It was too late. He knew me too well.


He’d once told me that my voice changed when I lied – that it became more nasally. Along with that came information about how I flared my nostrils when I was annoyed and chewed my lip when I was in deep thought. He was far too in tune with me but that didn’t stop me from trying to deflect him from the truth.


“I’m tired, that’s all. Today was endless.” I huffed, praying the computer screen would create some sort of distortion to how I was really feeling.


“What you do?” I heard him shift and wondered what he was doing.


I wanted to see him but his faulty wifi connection prohibited that. Every few seconds the poor connection alert came up, leaving me with a blurred of frozen image of him.


I missed him like crazy. It had been nearly two months since I last saw him – touched him – and I hated every second of every day without him.


I was officially that chick. The one who only wanted to be up under her man all day. The one who felt more comfortable only if she knew where he was, who he was with, what he was doing. Hell, even what he was wearing.


I didn’t mind it though. Or at least that’s what I told myself. I would catch myself before it ever got to a point of ridiculousness.


I loved Larry deeply but I had goals and other priorities. My mother always stressed that love was great but it wasn’t everything. She adored Larry but knew that me being in a serious relationship at such a young age could hinder my future. She was right. At one point I’d been so over the long distance thing that I was ready to put my goals on the backburner for the sake of being closer to my man. But he wouldn’t let me. He knew that eventually resentment towards him would blossom in my heart and he didn’t want that.


Hell, I didn’t want that.


Times like this were hard but ultimately we were working to be at a point where we could settle down comfortably together.


Um,” I chewed my lip, running today’s events through my mind. “I assisted on a Givenchy shoot and visual project. I was there for 15 hours.”


Damn,” He murmured. “You love it?”


I smiled at the question. “The photography aspect, yeah. The filming was way too fucking repetitive for me. It was a lot. I had fun though.”


His brows furrowed. “You not gonna say details?”


You care about the details?” I asked through a half smile.


He nodded. “Of course.”


And I went on, rambling about the amazing cameras that were worth more than my yearly income and the lighting tricks I’d learned. He listened, adding a sound in here or there. He laughed when I revealed how a model had tripped over her own feet after doing a twirling take for the millionth time. And his eyes grew narrow with concern when I mentioned that I’d spilled coffee on my hand.


I was so scared while getting the cameras together. I didn’t want to fuck anything up.”


Confusion consumed his face. “How you can do that?”


I shrugged. “I don’t know – put it on the wrong setting or drop the shit.”


You can never think like that, Chink. You good and you know you kill this shit and even if you scared you go in and fake it and then make it!” His words tugged a smile to my face.


I don’t know why I sike myself out. I just – can’t believe I’m here. It was such a hard position to get–“


He cut me off. “And you get it cause you deserve and you talented.”


I was just so shocked because – I don’t know they’ve kinda been treating me like shit,” A frown instantly appeared on his face. “I mean, it’s whats to be expected when interning. The whole time I’ve been here I’ve been the glorified coffee girl. Most times I’m not even able to stand still long enough to watch the work that transpires because I get dragged back and forth a lot.”


I sighed, thinking of the long days that led to limited sleep. I’d come 'home’ to my raggedy hotel with throbbing feet, a pounding head and an aching stomach. Well, it was either aching or empty. Aching because I was so broke that couldn’t exactly afford nutritious food so I ate junk all day, including the leftover sweets from set – never the salad or sandwiches because that stuff was for the real crew. Or empty because, well, I was broke.


I never told Larry any of this. I didn’t want him to worry for me. I was fine – I would be fine. This would be all over in a month or so and I’d leave with a check for the lump sum of my work and great experience – in fetching other folks coffee.


Half the time I don’t know whether this internship was created to mold an aspiring photographer or to find a fucking barista.” I went on and his frown deepened. “I went in today, knowing I’d have to deal with more of the same and I did but in addition to taking coffee orders I also got to actually touch the cameras and chat with the photographers.” I beamed and a smile crept to his face as well.


You take picture?”


Well, no – not for the campaign but I took a lot of test shots to make sure that the lighting and settings were perfect.”


His brows rose as he quizzically peered at me. “That make you happy?”


It did.” I nodded.


Then that make me happy.” His declaration widened my smile.


Larry didn’t completely understand all things photography and what it took to break big in the industry but he understood my passion. 


Him being a dancer made his art very tangible. People saw what he could do and reacted. Larry’s skills weren’t based on technical and traditional elements. They weren’t honed in a school. He simply possessed them, and then displayed then, wowing everyone.


Photography was different. It was subjective and even with the proper education many talented artists were still overlooked. And that’s exactly why I was busting my ass as a coffee girl for privileged white folks. I refused to be ignored, to have my work ignored… even if that meant starting at the very bottom.


I’m still so shocked they asked me, babe! I’ve literally been doing bullshit for weeks! I’ve been the errand girl and finally I got to touch a camera and you wouldn’t believe who approached me and asked me.” I rambled, re-experiencing the same excitement I’d felt earlier.


Who?” A small smirk tilted his lips as his eyes illuminated with interest.


Georgia, fucking Steven Klein’s assistant!” I still couldn’t believe it. I mean he was no Patrick Demarchilier or Ellen von Unwerth but he was brilliant with the camera and very successful.


Wait my baby. I call you back.” Larry spoke quickly, forcing my smile and my excitement to drop.


Okay.” I murmured sullenly. “Love you.” The call ended, leaving me without a response and an attitude.


With a sigh, I stood from the not so comfortable bed and paced towards the TV stand. My stomach was empty and the only thing I could afford to fill it with was left over donuts from set today. I’d also managed to nab a few bananas and an apple but I was saving those it for tomorrow. 


I was off for the next two days and knew my meals with consist of the finest cuisine from the 7/11 across the street. I needed the fruits to balance out the trash I was bound to consume from the popular chain.


Using the rinky dink microwave, I warmed the Krispy Kream donut for a few seconds before extracting it and taking a huge bite.


It was as I was moving to my second donut that a knock at the door sounded. Annoyed that the cleaning lady was bothering me yet again, despite the fact that I told her I was fine, I moved towards the door.


I pulled the door open, ready and willing to accept the towels, cheap soap and peppermint candy she was bound to offer.


This was our routine. She’d come by at least two or three times, offering things that I already had, I’d refuse, tell her I was fine and she’d go on her way only to come right back. It always took me accepting her gesture to insure that she wouldn’t come back. She was sweet and clearly very nurturing, and usually I would laugh at her antics but tonight wasn’t the night.


However what I got when I opened the door wasn’t a short Mexican lady but a tall French nigga. My eyes widened as he leaned down peppering my lips with kisses.


I love you too,” He murmured, pulling me into his arms. “Now finish telling me about George and Steve.”


“Why you smiling? What you think of?” He quizzed as I lowered the menu.


“You nosy.” He shrugged and looked at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.


“Stop staring, nigga.”


“Tell me why you smile,” He pressed.


“Has anyone ever told you how annoying you are.”


“All the time.” He shrugged. “I’m waiting.”


With an explosive sigh I crossed my eyes, earning his chuckle. “I remembered when you surprised me here in LA while I was doing that internship at Smashbox Studios.”


The mere mention of the memory brought a wide smile to my face.


After I got over the initial shock of him being there I finished the story of my day. I was sure he was bored and went to move on to the next topic when he declared that he was proud of me. To my surprise, and his, the simple statement brought tears to my eyes. It meant more than I could ever explain hearing that from him – my man.


There I was broke, eating crappy but free food in a half star hotel, in a city where I knew no one and doing an internship that forced me to wait until after completion to be paid. My two hour rides to the studio were by bus, and then train and because everyone drove in LA the public transportation system was severely slower than New York. On top of all that I wasn’t exactly sure if anything would even come from the internship.


I had been miserable but forced myself to remain positive and optimistic. But it was difficult, especially knowing that I could have been back in the comfort of Brooklyn, working and getting immediate money.


Knowing that my man, who I missed dearly, was out there killing it and living his dreams drew me even deeper into depression. Thoughts of him being successful and me failing often plagued my brain, forcing negativity into my lungs. But hearing him say that he was proud of me made everything seem a little bit more worth it.


I could remember so many nights laying on that springy mattress, questioning what the fuck I was doing.  I could remember missing my mom more than anything. That internship had been a big decision – it had the power to make or break my career and I’d done it without her guidance. That was the first real time since she’d died that I truly felt alone.


Those nights where my stomach was growling and feet were throbbing were my some of my loneliest – second only to the nights where I’d clutched my recently vacated belly or imagined the synchronized laughter of Larry and Luzy.


Larry hadn’t been pleased with the hotel, mainly because it was raggedy but also because it was so far away from where I needed to be. He was also pissed about the state of my bank account. He’d gone on and on complaining about me neglecting to tell him the truth. He’d not only been upset but hurt that I didn’t trust him to take care of me.


It had been my tears and whining about going home to Brooklyn that forced him to ease off me but his silence only led to actual moves being made.


My emotional state led to exhaustion, forcing me into a long nap. When I’d woken up it was to a determined Larry packing my bags. In not so many words he let me know that he’d been able to sublet me an apartment closer to Smashbox studios. He left no room for my questions and urged me to get ready so that we could head over. 


The apartment was cozy but open. Sun light drenched the space, making me feel better instantly. It was just what I had been needing.


We didn’t stay for long because soon we were heading to the grocery store to get real food. I’d stocked up on produce and surprised Larry by grabbing mostly green shit to end my undernourishment.


The last stop we’d made had been enough to end my silence. As soon as he pulled the rental car into the bank I began to fuss. We’d argued back and forth for like a half hour before he finally grabbed my purse and exited the car.


The alert that came through my phone minutes later fueled my anger. I stared at the deposit amount in disbelief and said nothing when he got back into the car.


We didn’t speak until that following morning. He had a ton to say about how stubborn and unwilling I was to accept help and to his surprise I agreed, and then cried.


I’d only ever depended on one person to do things for me and that had been my mom. I didn’t know how to accept things from other people though I loved giving. I’d give Larry my left kidney but if he offered me a pint of blood I’d refuse it and claim that it was too much.


The conversation we had was exhausting but I’d promised him that I’d work harder on being as accepting of his help as he was of mine.


The sex we had was even more exhausting and to refuel we’d come here, to the very restaurant we sat in now, Larchmount Bungalow.


“I don’t remember.” He muttered with narrowed eyes.


I gasped. “How don’t you remember?!”


He shrugged as his gaze drifted towards the sky. “I just not.” Was his response. “Tell me what happened?”


“Um,” I paused, chewing my lip as I combed through the details of my recent recollection. “I was staying in some rinky dink hotel in El Segundo and I was superrrr broke.”


“How old we was?” His face scrunched with the most authentic form of confusion.“


“Like, 20…21.” I answered with ease.


“Ooooh yes! I know now. You lie to me and say you good but you eat noodle cups and donuts.” His eyes narrowed accusingly.


“I didn’t want you to worry about me. I would have survived had you not come to save the day, Larry.”


“I always worry for you.” His words weren’t meant to be endearing but they made my heart stutter.


Not knowing exactly how to respond or what to say, I offer a small smile.


“You guys all set?” The perky waiter asked, lingering over the polished wooden table.


“Oh,” I glanced down at my menu. “I’m not quite ready.”


“We ready.” Larry told the waiter, barely sparing me a glance. She do the Red & Blue Velvet Pancakes with extra whip cream and for me,” He hummed, briefly glancing at the menu. “I try the Seafood Breakfast Crepe with half order of Strawberry Tequila French Toast.”


The waiter smiled, collecting both menus. “Will that be all?”


A head nod from Larry sent him on his way and when he was out of ear shot, I cleared my throat forcing my husband to look at me.


“What if I wanted to try something new – different?” He smirked.


“You love the same thing always. I know this.” He was sure. His voice reeked of arrogance.


“I was looking at the LB French Toast.” I told him with an eye roll. I wanted to prove him wrong for the simple fact that he was so stuck on telling me about me.


His face scrunched. “You don’t even like chocolate.”


The saccharine breakfast entree was composed of plantains, Nutella and hazelnuts. “I was gonna get it without.”


“Why you can’t let me be right?” He smiled, knowing I was full of shit.


“Cause,” His brows rose in question. “You think you know everything.”


“About you I do.”


“You only know what I tell you.” I swore. “What I want you to know.”


“I know many shit you don’t even know.” His declaration brought a frown to my face and he instantly exploded with laughter.


“Shut the fuck up.” I murmured before sipping my water.


He was right but at this point I didn’t want to know any of what I didn’t already know. We’d been through too much. I’d experience too many emotions and my feelings were beyond mixed.


I was happy where I was right now with Larry and didn’t want a piece of the past to hinder that. I was accepting of our past and excited for the future but at the same time fear lingered at the root of my every exhale. 


What if I remembered something I couldn’t accept, something that wasn’t as easy to forgive?


I’d imagined all sorts of scenarios. I’d put together all these could'ves and shouldn’t'ves and fished out the ones that would hurt me the most, forcing me to walk away. 


My own imagination drove me to tears weeks ago when I mentally painted a picture of Larry impregnating Luzy.


In addition to killing our marriage something like that happening would have ultimately killed me. But Larry said he hadn’t physically cheated and I believed him – I did.


However, the weight of his emotional cheating left my muscles aching. And while he didn’t create a child with that bitch, he’d created a bond that gave birth to my insecurities, and my heartache.


I cleared my throat attempting to clear my thoughts.


“Stop think so much.” Larry spoke knowingly. He eyed me over the glass as he causally sipped his orange juice.


“I’m trying.” A nod was all I received, as there was nothing much to say.


A comfortable silence consumed us as we waited for our food. When it I arrived I happily dug in, moaning in delight. Larry had been right – this was the only thing on the menu that I wanted. He wore a knowing smirk but said nothing as he enjoyed his own food.


Halfway through my meal I grew bored and reached over, taking some of his.


“I don’t taste the tequila.” I observed chewing slowly on the mango dressed french toast.


“They cook it down so you not can taste.” He chuckled. “Is not for you get drunk. It leave slight flavor… sweetness.”


“Mmmhp.” I replied, unimpressed only for him to laugh.


“You wanna drink – we can go to bar at The W.”


“You just wanna get me drunk and take advantage.” I smirked, already down for the idea. It’d been so long since I’d had a nice cocktail.


“I do.” He confirmed and instead of laughing I shivered.


“Should I order a mimosa now orrrr…?” Our cackles loomed around us only to be cut short by the perky waiter who approached.


“Larry,” I called when we were to ourselves again.


“Hmm?” He quizzed, his mouth full.


“Where’s Millie?” The question had been on my mind for a while but I’d been too ashamed to ask.


In my haste to get away from my husband I’d left my dog without a care. I was the worst dog mom ever!


He chuckled, before swallowing his food and taking a sip of water. “I wonder when you ask. She with her uncle Roy.”


The name made me frown and because he’d probably predicted my distaste he laughed.


“That dusty nigga ain’t her damn uncle.” I snapped, annoyed.


Moving my food around with the tip of my fork I sighed. “Maybe we should go home. I need to get to her and– “


“Chink, she fine.” Larry swore, “Roy take care of her good. He do before.”


“I don’t like him.” I said what I was already known.


“You not even know why.” Larry was unbothered. In fact, a small smile played around his lips. This was a topic that brought him no stress. Knowing that eased my mind a bit but not much.


“Because,” I shrugged.


“You can’t even say a reason.”


“He’s a terrible influence.” I muttered.


“For me?” Larry’s eyes widened and smile dropped. My nod was minimal but it was enough to make him frown. “Baby, I’m a grown man. Every bad decision I do is because of me, never him. I stupid on my own.”


Him admitting that shocked the fuck out of me. Larry almost never admitted to his faults unless you pulled them out of him and even then he resisted.


“Well,” I plucked a chunk of mango off his plate, still searching for the tequila component. “You were one stupid ass nigga.


-


we can’t let our good love die..