Another humans are weird/space orcs idea that came to me while trying to drink water upside down:

Humans are apex predators. We’re unbreakable and relentless and legion and lethal. Nothing gets to us- except us.

It’s the stupidest little things that can stop up a human.

Many aliens have theorized about this. Perhaps with no natural enemies, the species tried to threaten them with themselves in a desperate search for some kind of challenge. Maybe it’s cosmic karma for being nigh unstoppable. Maybe they had transcended so much that the nuances of life were tiny and incomprehensible to them. Maybe it’s natural selection trying to thin the herd.

Whichever the cause, it’s a strange combination of disturbing and amusing to see a human be defeated by itself. It’s a little alarming to see the most resilient and powerful species in the universe be completely shut down with things that pale in comparison to their normal challenges.

Seeing a human function almost completely fully with several broken bones… but absolutely crippled and reduced to using one arm when faced with a large hangnail.

My dad broke his leg in a snowmobile accident in such a way that the bone was sticking out of his leg. He crawled a half mile in the snow to the nearest house to ask for help. But when he stubs his toe on the coffee table every few weeks, it’ll bring him to his knees.

I recently got a double conch piercing done- two massive needles shoved through the thickest cartilage in my ear, one right after the other. I’ve got 5 other piercings. None, not even the conch, hurt as much as getting a single hair yanked out of my head.

I see people eat some of the world’s hottest foods all laced with capsaicin which can kill things, and drink alcohol that’s literally poisonous, and break pen cases with their teeth. But a too cold slush drink? Unable to talk or move, head between the knees, for about two minutes, because brain freeze. Or, better yet, sometimes we literally choke on spit. Nearly asphyxiate. Because we regularly ‘swallow down the wrong hole’. 

Alien: Why did you say, last month, that your broken ribs and arm and massive blood loss was ‘fine’, but when you got a paper cut today, you cried for ten minutes and now still refuse to unwrap your wound? It is tiny in comparison to some things that you’ve faced without hesitation.

Human: Honestly it’s really stupid and I don’t really know, but I will swear up and down and until the day I die, a broken bone hurts way less than a paper cut.

Alien: But… no. It’s not worse. It… that doesn’t make sense.

Human: I know, right? But it’s true. 

Humans are Weird: Spices

Alien: Today in my “Human Studies” book, I’m reading about human foods.

Human: Ooh, cool.

Alien: But I’m not sure this is accurate. It says here that humans purposely ingest a plant high in a pain-causing chemical, capsaicin.

Human: Oh, peppers? Yeah. Spicy.

Alien: But why would you want to eat something that causes you pain?

Human: Some people like the burn. I think it causes the same sort of reaction as drinking alcohol…?

Alien: That activity doesn’t make sense to me either. Can we discuss it after?

Human: Sure.

Alien: So, these “peppers.” Do you enjoy eating them?

Human: Me? Well, not by themselves. But I do like somewhat spicy foods. My brother, though, he likes them much hotter. He’s eaten some really spicy peppers, even ate a ghost pepper by itself.

Alien: Ghost pepper.

Human: Yeah, it’s the spiciest natural pepper. His face got pretty red, and he got the hiccups.

Alien: That… doesn’t sound like a healthy reaction.

Human: It just means that it’s a really spicy pepper. I mean, if I ate one of those, it might kill me, but he was fine.

Alien. Why would it kill you?

Human: Too spicy. You have to have a tolerance for capsaicin or it can literally kill you. And the ghost pepper is so hot that to handle it, you gotta wear gloves.

Alien: Your planet has plants that can KILL people, and which you can’t handle directly, and your brother ATE ONE, by ITSELF??

Human: Yeah.

Alien: …

Human: He says that when he gets desensitized to ghost pepper, he wants a Carolina Reaper.

Alien: I’m almost afraid to ask.

Human: …

Alien: What’s a Carolina Reaper?

Human: A pepper scientifically engineered for spiciness. It’s currently the world’s hottest pepper.

Alien: *stares at human in disbelief*

Alien: *stares at human studies book*

Alien: *stares at human again*

Alien: *whispers to self* How… how are humans real?

Buy your own toilet paper next time.

Our small business shares a bathroom with another small business. A separate tenant in the same building has their own bathroom, but also access to ours due to fire escape routes.

For the past year, any spare toilet paper roll in our bathroom has disappeared CONSISTENTLY every Friday night.

Also, the bathroom would usually smell of smoke (tobaccy and whacky) on Monday mornings.

I don’t like to complain, but the other tenant did, even though our biz buys the toilet paper (yes, it is in the lease that of the two tenants, our biz must supply and clean the bathroom, as well as maintain the exterior sidewalk).

In response to the other tenant’s complaint, the landlord had the maintenance guys install one of those battery-operated locks on the bathroom door.

Here’s the problem: that other tenant with their own bathroom? The maintenance guys.

Obviously the toilet paper and smoke problems continued after the lock.

Yesterday, I left a new spare roll in the usual spot in the bathroom, but this time had soaked a single line of this “horseradish, capsaicin, and wintergreen” nasal spray into the roll. I even left the bottle on the sink counter, next to the hand soap pump bottle, and a note [for other tenant, but visible to all] that said “don’t use the roll under the sink, text me first”

Just got a text from head maintenance guy: “FUCK I thought you were on our side not [Other Tenant]’s. J[*****] went to the ER thinking he was dying, they say it was something in the toilet paper”

Burns, don’t it?

“It’s a Human Thing...” (Humans Are Weird/Earth is Space Australia)

It just occurred to me that sometime after first contact, as humanity learned just how weird we are among intelligent species, someone would start printing T-shirts with pictures of all the weird stuff humans do–bond to everything, throw things, eat capsaicin, make things that shouldn’t work work, breathe oxygen, live in places no alien would dream of even visiting, pursuit predation/endurance running, artificial limbs, body art, extreme sports, (whatever I’m forgetting)–with the words, “It’s a human thing. You wouldn’t understand.”

Things I've found out about Jaal through party banter:

1. He can’t eat grape flavored candy/drinks/etc. because the methyl anthranilate used to create grape flavoring burns
2. Angara are immune to the capsaicin in peppers
3. He is 27 years old (on certain planets he’s older/younger, apparently, according to him. But his standard age is 27)
4. He hates the heat.
5. “Shalom” is his favorite human greeting

I will reblog this and add to it as I find out more lmao

anonymous asked:

capsaicin AU where Bucky basically gets super freakin wasted and because embarrasses Steve with pointing out all the things he loves about him c:

“Listen. Look, listen.” Bucky’s hanging onto Sam’s shoulder by this point, waving his beer bottle dangerously as he tries to emphasise how important his point is. “His hands, dude.”

“If this is gonna be a sex thing then I’m out.” Sam props his friend up against the wall as Steve hides his face in his hands and Natasha tries to swallow her grin. Peggy and Angie are being loud and embarrassing on the other side of the bar and Pietro and Clint are making out in some dark corner, so luckily at least some of Steve’s friends aren’t witness to Why Steve Rogers Rocks: A Lengthy Thesis By Bucky Barnes ft. Tequila.

“No, listen. His hands are like…” Bucky makes a sloppy gesture with wiggly fingers as he blinks slowly, searching for words through the boozy haze. “They’re so talented. Like he can just do stuff with knives, like so fast, and he never cuts himself. And I’m like, a potato with arms. And he’s like… woah. Y’know?”

“A potato with arms.” Natasha repeats incredulously, trying so hard not to laugh as she nudges Steve with her shoulder. “He’s quite the catch, Rogers.”

“Potatoes are versatile.” Steve mutters, still hiding his mortified face in his hands.

“That’s what it said on my Grindr.” Bucky nods thoughtfully and Sam has to hide his face in his friend’s shoulder because he’s laughing so hard. It makes Bucky look very pleased with himself, lit up like he’s being intentionally hilarious and not just a hot mess. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” Steve grumbles, unable to keep the smile off his face when he finally looks up and sees Bucky beaming down at him like he hung the moon. It’s not the worst thing to have to listen to how much you’re loved, he supposes, even if he doesn’t always believe it yet. 

“A cute potato.” Bucky agrees seriously, and Steve yanks him down by the collar to kiss him and shut him the hell up.

Molecule of the Day: Capsaicin

You’ve probably heard of today’s featured molecule - it’s the major contributor towards the spiciness of chili peppers!

That’s right, today’s compound is capsaicin (C18H27NO3), a colourless solid that is insoluble in water but soluble in oil, fat, and other hydrophobic, non-polar solvents - that’s why drinking milk helps to alleviate the burning sensation after eating spicy food! It’s commonly found in the flesh of chili peppers - but not the seeds - and the fruits of related plants.

It causes a burning sensation not unlike heat or abrasions when consumed - as anyone who has tried spicy food can attest to - because it binds to the same receptor (TRPV1) to produce a response that high temperatures and physical abrasions trigger as well!

Capsaicin is biosynthesised from vanillamine and 8-methyl-6-nonenoyl-CoA, which in turn are produced from the amino acids phenylalanine and leucine or valine respectively. Vanillin is an intermediate in the biosynthesis of vanillamine, but please don’t put capsaicin in your muffins anytime soon - they taste nothing like each other!

It acts as a mammal repellent, as their molar teeth crush the chili pepper seeds, preventing them from germinating. On the other hand, birds do not have the TRPV1 receptor, and hence do not experience the same burning sensation. This works to the plant’s advantage, since birds swallow the seeds whole, allowing them to be dispersed to other locations and germinate there.

Capsaicin is a strong skin and respiratory irritant, which causes it to be used in pepper sprays. Interestingly, it doesn’t actually result in chemical burns; the inflammation is caused by the body’s response to the stimulus!

In more benign applications, it’s used as a topical analgesic, such as pain-relieving creams, and of course, in cooking to give your favourite curry that extra kick! (Note: I strongly advise against adding pure capsaicin to your food - the small amounts present in chili peppers should be enough!)


submission from rpbattleman

Can you imagine how aliens would react to us eating something that was made not to be eaten? Like peppers.

For those unaware, peppers are filled with Capsaicin, a chemical that causes a burning sensation when in comes in contact with tissue. Its basically Nature’s way of saying DON’T EAT ME!!! Yet we do it anyways. Imagine the conversation that follows.

“Those aren’t good for you”, said Trilli, as she watch her companion ingest strange triangular vegetables. Out of curiosity, she checked them with her scanner, and the results were disturbing.

“What do you mean?”, asked Bob as he was eating raw Jalapeños.

“It’s filled with capsaicin”, answered Trilli holding up a scanner to human Bob’s face.

“So?”, replied Bob, still eating his peppers.

“So, according to the scanner it is literally burning the inside of your mouth, causing immense pain, AND WHY ARE YOU STILL EATING THEM!?”, shouted Trilli, after moving the scanner away from human Bob’s face and realizing, that yes, he was indeed still eating his capsaicin-filled death vegetable.




“…well?”, questioned Trilli.

Bob swallowed, open his mouth, and replied, “I was hungry”.

I know people have wrote about literal horror stories about how food service employees have deliberately put in ingredients that were specifically asked against due to health issues, but I think people literally like to gloss over other serious health issues here that are triggered by capsaicin because “oh hoo hoo, you can’t handle spicy food, you so weak” mentality that Tumblr has.

Maybe because capsaicin is an irritant that literally burns body tissue, and that’s literally bad for you if you have a health condition that includes sensitivity issues or if you happen to have asthma or stomach ulcers, which will be aggravated by irritants. 

So if someone asks you for “non-spicy” food, it’s probably because they have a serious health issue that may land them in the hospital or trigger an attack. So don’t be a shithead and spike their food with chilli powder because you’re like “weakass can’t handle the spice” because then you’re a literally shithead like those people who don’t respect diabetics or celiac people asking for changes to their orders because of health issues.

anonymous asked:

I saw that post about when it's raining and it's time for 'weird witch stuff', and it got me thinking of what are some of the with stuff you can do in the rain?

Quite a number of things, Anon!  Of course, keep in mind that your local laws may vary on the legality of collecting rain water.  Always be cautious and look up your city and state laws regarding this.  Also, be careful about ingesting rain water unless you’re confident on how to properly filter and purify it.

Originally posted by marci1900


  • Rain collected during a gentle rain fall is said to inspire peace and serenity, and is useful in calming and tranquility spells.
  • Rain collected during a storm is said to carry the energy of the storm - powerful, ferocious, energetic.  Use storm water for empowering spells.
  • Add hot sauce, capsaicin or extremely hot crushed peppers (with caution) to storm water to get fire water, useful for warding and curses.
  • Rain collected during a wind storm, such as a hurricane or tornado, is said to help with letting go and moving forward.  That being said, collect with caution and never put yourself in danger to do so.
  • Rain or hail collected from a hail storm can be used for destructive purposes, for warding against and eliminating psychic attacks or creating them.
  • Collect water off of a gravestone to create spirit water, useful for spells involving spirits and ancestors. Caution: Preferably collect this from a friend or family member who was comfortable with your witchcraft, or a spirit who has agreed to this. Always return the favor with an offering.
  • Rain collected off of a flower tends to carry the trait of that flower.
  • Rain collected from a dirt ground can be used for grounding.
  • Rain collected from a crossroads can be used for choosing a direction.
  • Rain collected from a liminal space can be used for astral travel (crossing the hedge/venturing into the Other).
  • Rain collected during a full moon is purified water or empowered with the moonlight.
  • Rain collected on sabbats are useful for those sabbats’ intents (eg, Spring Equinox for fertility, May Day for sexuality, Midsummer for sun and fire, Samhain for ancestors and spirits, etc).
  • General rain water is used for cleansing.  Use it to cleanse yourself, your house, your jewelry, your stones (that aren’t water soluble) and more.

Originally posted by hipster-and-thoughts


  • Rain and storms tend to evoke certain moods in us and are perfect for raising energy for spell work or ritual.  Just be cautious if you decide to venture outside, especially if lightning or severe weather is a risk.
  • Rain has great purifying and cleansing properties.  Consider cleansing tools that can’t be damaged by water in the rain, or step out in the rain to cleanse yourself.
  • Spells that involve letting go or cleansing are appropriate during this time.  Consider writing down negative thoughts with a watercolor pencil and set it out during a rain to watch it physically wash away.
  • For anyone who keeps plants, indoor or outdoor, rain is a great refresher.  Particularly for indoor plants, who cleanse our air and home, setting them out for a light rain shower can help cleanse them as well and suck the negativity out of their leaves.  Just be careful not to over-water indoor plants with rain water.

Originally posted by won-der-land89


  • Beliefs vary on weather magick.  Some witches and pagans believe you can use spells to alter your local weather and some don’t.  It’s up to you to make a decision on this belief.
  • Cast a flint stone or sand behind your back to the west to call forth rain (De Lamiis Libre, 1577)
  • Splash a besom end in fresh water from a live spring, lake, stream or river.  Then use the broom to either “stir the sky” or sprinkle water above your head.
  • Call upon rain by whistling to rustle wind while pouring water from a pitcher into a bowl.
  • Use an incense recipe to call upon rain.  Some might be available at your local store or you can use a mixture of bracken, fern and heather.
  • Fling water onto your hearth stone to call upon rain.

Off the top of my head, that’s everything I can think of.  Good luck to you, Anon!

Damian Wayne/ Robin X Reader- Murder Kitten

After this post, there will only be 2 requests left!! Yay!!!!!  Also, this was requested by @abigailredgrave, who requests some pretty awesome stuff!!! I hope you guys enjoy this and have a nice day!!!!  If I am counting this right, THIS IS MY ONE HUNDREDTH FANFIC!!!! YYYAAYYY!!!

Warning: Swearing 

Keep reading

United Airlines controversy Hot Take™

First off, I want you to watch this video about the UC Davis Pepper Spray incident.

The cops were actively trying to leave before the students tried to stop them, threatened to stop “protesting peacefully”, and tried to keep them from getting their prisoners out of there safely. They weren’t just innocent kids minding their own business when the cruel, capsaicin-laced jackboot of The Man came down on them.

But most people saw the edited video first, which is just the pepper spray. Without the context, the cops look like the bad guys. I’ve seen people look at the full video and do logical backflips to make the evidence fit into their first impressions. These people use “peaceful protesters” a lot, even when they’re looking at the protestors openly threatening violence*.

So now you may be wondering “I see where you’re going here.Why do people keep saying the guy who got thrown off was a doctor? What does that have to do with anything?”

Well, a cynical person might think “well, that makes him seem more important”. Not true in this case. The doc said he couldn’t give up the seat because he had patients to see in the morning.

Seems reasonable. Except, wait; how would United actually confirm this?

Say he shows them emails on his phone. Those could be faked. And I’m not sure he could legally show them anyway, because they probably involve confidential medical records. And even if he did have patients, he could reschedule or give them to another doctor. United can’t be sure.

Now, did United have the right to do this? As I understand it, yes, yes they do. Because airlines apparently reserve the right to boot people off of planes, within certain restrictions (like compensation). Also, all legitimate instructions from cabin crew have to be obeyed, legally speaking.

Overbooking? Completely standard. Involuntary bumping? Over 100 a day.

So, injuries. Looks…looks pretty bad, honestly.

Unless you know that injuries, by definition, usually happen in a fight. Such as three dudes trained to subdue people engaging a middle-aged man in close-quarters with lots of hard edges around.

It’s like starting a fistfight on a park bench. And the bench is in your bathroom.

Specifically, the shower.

Maybe… maybe it’s just me, but I think that when cops come to physically remove me from the plane, I’d realize that I’m down to two choices.

1. Go quietly and get the first plane I can.
2. Physically resist, and be even later than the first option, because I’m in a hospital or a jail cell.

Our pal decided to go with door number 2.

Funny how no one seems to be talking about the fact that he tried to resist being taken off the plane. Even though it’s clearly on the video, no editing required.


Everyone is outraged for a week, makes a few memes, then gets over it. United loses stock price, for a while, then rebounds. Any legal action runs straight into a wall of expensive lawyers. United settles to make it go away, some thinkpieces blame this on Trump, and

The only reason this is news is because there was a video. If you want to complain, blame the rules and regulations that allow airlines to bump people off their planes in the first place. Blame overbooking. Blame thin profit margins. 

Blame the guy who refused to leave, even when the writing was on the fuselage wall.

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #26

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

I’m gonna try to get back to doing these on Friday nights. Warning: Lots of hurt!Lance this time. There was plenty to choose from in the gen category, so of course my biases got heavy play. I had a good time, but this list will be even more unbalanced than usual.

Also, it has now been officially half a year of weekly rec lists, though I’ve actually been doing it longer than that, since it keeps being more than a week between each one. The title is a lie. But I am still pretty proud of myself. I thought I would get bored and quit doing these a long time ago, but I haven’t.

As Color Fades Away by IcyPanther
Words:  7,615 (WIP 2/?)
Author’s Summary:  “They either surrender the Black Lion to us, or we will kill the Paladin we’ve captured in the most painful way possible. They will hear his screams and they will come. They would not so easily abandon one of their own. And then the Black Lion will be yours. Should the ploy fail… well, then there will be one less Paladin in existence.” No pairings, major whumpage, Langst
My Comments: Starting the list right off with my biases. I don’t quite agree with the Keith characterization in this one, and the woobie is pretty strong, but it’s very well-written and there is the promise of LOTS of delicious hurt/comfort down the road, so I’m in it to win it.

Lance Makes a Space Sandwich by ArcaneAdagio
Words: 3,999
Author’s Summary: Lance goes through an galaxy space quest to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, dragging along an unwilling Hunk and Pidge. Will they be able to make their sandwich? Can they survive? Will Lance stop making terrible guns and finger gunning at the same time? Will they learn about the power of friendship? (Spoilers: the answer to the last two questions are ‘no.’)
My Comments: Garrison Trio! How I love them! Very fun and cute action fic. (Also PB&J is divine, how dare you question it.)

you were never on your own by derheck
Words: 1,763
Author’s Summary: Lance knew how to throw damn good parties. And that’s what they all needed. A damn good party. And what better reason to throw a damn good party than to celebrate everyone’s favorite green paladin growing one year older? Better yet- it wasn’t just going to be a party. He was going all out. He was going to throw Pidge a fucking space quinceañera.
My Comments: So cuuuute. Love Lance being supportive of his teammates, and especially doing something nice for Pidge, daww. She deserves a big ol’ party, for sure.

Pieces of Cake by Cardigan_Quincy
Words: 2,990
Author’s Summary: It’s Pidge’s birthday, and the team is determined to make it a great day. Meanwhile on Earth and in a Galra prison camp, two other characters hold their own private birthday celebrations for her.(Just a one-shot. Pre-S2. Feminine pronouns for Pidge. ~Quincy)
My Comments: Much sadder than the last fic, but also feels very true to the characters. Pidge’s family is definitely the most splintered of the paladins’ and it’s sad to think about the people who aren’t there for her birthday because they can’t be. But they remember each other, in the sweetest and most poignant way.

A Song of Storm and Ice by BreakTheDawn
Words: 20,565 (WIP 3/?)
Author’s Summary: Quintessence.It’s the basis of everything right? Integral to the very nature of Voltron. They all have it, it means something for all of them, regardless of whether or not they realize it. So would it not follow that they should learn how to use it?AkaThe Voltron team goes to undertake an ancient training program to learn more about their Lions and themselves, and of course shit happens.
My Comments: Actually a sequel to a previously recced fic, so you might want to read that one first, but this one is super good, too. Much more of an ensemble feel, though still a bit of a focus on Lance. And the worldbuilding in this one slays. So many cool ideas. Can’t wait to see what happens, and it’s updating a LOT, with very long chapters. My idea of a good time.

The Garden of Heaven by Genesister (papirini)
Words: 75,271 (WIP 16/?)
Author’s Summary: From the void of space to the heart of a deeply-buried secret of the Galra Empire, the search for Shiro leads Keith on a voyage that he never expected, wanted - or realized he needed. Its just a question of whether he can escape, when its all over - or whether he will even want to. Tags will be added as the work proceeds.
My Comments: I haven’t finished reading what’s available on this one yet, but this fic is AMAZING. Absolutely incredible worldbuilding for the Galra. Mind the tags, but don’t let them intimidate you. Keith gets thrown into a very horrifying and terrifying situation against his will, but as the story goes on you find that it’s about just another group of unique misfits learning to get along and find family in each other. The twist I just read left me utterly breathless, and as soon I finish this list I’m gonna get back to reading the story. AWESOME fic. This kind of stuff is why I just don’t bother with published fiction anymore. I can find far more satisfying and interesting stuff for free on the internet.

Just Remember by BleuSarcelle
Words: 1,646
Author’s Summary: Lance screams and shouts and curses. He lets it all out. He lets his words and shouts echo around as he falls to his knees in the middle of the training room. He hiccups as sobs shake his body. He doesn’t bother to wipe away his tears, he lets them fall to the ground and stain the mat below him.He curses loudly and lividly for every part of him that makes him feel unworthy. He weakly punches the mat as he whimpers and his shoulders lose their strength.
My Comments: Short but sweet fic about Lance fighting bad self-talk with the truth. I’ve been there.

Capsaicin by phoenixyfriend
Words: 6,235
Author’s Summary: Lance was captured by the Galra. He was more useful alive than dead, but was notorious for being difficult to interrogate, so the Galra turned to poison. It was… less than successful.
My Comments: This is really funny, and really fun. Very mild Lance whump, but I mean, they tried. They tried very hard.

Lance by RandomShmoe
Words: 1,482
Author’s Summary: First and Second Day working on Camp NaNoWriMo stuff. It is focused on Lance…hence the title.
My Comments: Another nice little fic about Lance coping healthily with his problems. The Shiro and Lance interaction was so cute it gave me a toothache.

the purest expression of grief by ohmygodwhy
Words: 15,874
Author’s Summary: By the time he walks through the Garrison doors, he is bone from going hungry and muscle from fighting and stone from surviving. He keeps his guard up and his teeth bared and sleeps with his knife under his pillow and tears through their exams and their simulations with the ferocity of the need to know more, to do more, to fly. or: keith fights, because that’s what he does, and has always watched the stars
My Comments: Can be read as Sheith or gen. Absolutely fantastic character study of Keith and how much Shiro means to him, and I loved how Keith made friends with everyone in the second chapter. Very much how I see it working for him: slow, halting, but utterly sincere.

Shifting Sands by Cardigan_Quincy
Words: 11,399 (WIP 4/?)
Author’s Summary: Lance picked himself up from the floor gingerly, testing his muscles before putting too much weight on them. Nothing seemed injured, aside from a few aches that would likely become a nice collection of bruises by tomorrow morning. But considering how hard Blue had fallen, Lance felt lucky.
Blue was less lucky.

Lance is stranded on a desert planet, injured and captured by someone who will go to any lengths to get their hands on the Black Lion. Fortunately or otherwise, he’s not alone. (Updated weekly ~Quincy)
My Comments: MMM, boy, this is some GOOD hurt/comfort! Starts with Lance alone, but doesn’t stay that way. I’m really glad he has someone there to support him, less glad that they are going through some awful stuff. Okay, I lied, I like it when Lance (and the others) go through awful stuff. But I am still hoping for rescue soon, please.

It’s Getting Darker But I’ll Carry On by CamsthiSky
Words: 4,285 (WIP 3/?)
Author’s Summary: “This could not be happening. Of course he’d be with the one idiot who didn’t know that once a zombie found you, there weren’t many ways to get it off your trail—and hiding in an abandoned house wasn’t one of them. How was this guy even still alive right now?”
My Comments: Zombie AU that starts off with sniper!Lance rescuing Keith? Yes, please. Fantastic start, and I love the roles everyone is falling into in this AU. Looking forward to more. They need to find Shiro. (Isn’t THAT just the constant refrain of this fandom, though.)

the stars watch over you by psyraah for rednight16
Words: 1,239
Author’s Summary: Shiro is bone weary, worn down, and battered, yet sleep evades him. But a gentle moment amongst new friends eases the constant disquiet in his heart, at least for now.
My Comments: This is so soft and lovely and nice. Thace and Ulaz should have stuck around longer in the show, for real.

Trust Fall by kyanve
Words: 2,330
Author’s Summary: Lance decides to try to prove that he’s just as capable of getting Blue to come get him as Keith has been at playing Space Fetch with Red. Blue may be less temperamental than Red, but Blue can also be a troll enough to make up for it.
My Comments: Lance is an idiot, but Blue loves him anyway. This feels very, very canon.

After Me Comes the Flood by Qpenguin98
Words: 25,111
Author’s Summary: The interior of this ship is cold and boring. The Galran soldiers that try to bond with you are cold and boring. Zarkon is cold and boring. You are sick of being cold and bored. A story following the Red Lion.
My Comments: Endgame Klance, established Red/Blue. Really interesting and lovely view of Keith and the rest of the team through a personified Red. I love the sense of history with the lions, and the trauma and turmoil that everyone has to work through.

Taking One For The Team by ShiningRegalia
Words: 18,284 (WIP 6/?)
Author’s Summary: A mission gone wrong lands Lance and Pidge in a dangerous situation. When communication with the rest of the team is compromised, they have to take drastic measures to escape. Pidge can only hope that they get out before things get worse and one of them breaks. Especially Lance.
My Comments: Holy fudge, this is some great hurt/comfort, too, this time with Lance and Pidge. Protective!Lance turns on all the lights in my house, and Pidge gets protective right back. The situation gets really bad, really fast, but they both do everything they can to take care of each other and get them out. They’ll be okay as long as they have each other.

Do You Wanna Build a Voltron? by phoenixyfriend
Words: 10,558
Author’s Summary: Lance woke up to a room full of frost, and proceeded to panic. Just a little. Just a smidgen. Just enough to refuse to leave his room until Hunk promised to go get Coran so there was a competent adult helping them figure out this mess.According to Blue, humans were very fragile, and needed all the help they could get. Blue could provide a lot of help, and this was a perfect solution, in her eyes.
My Comments: Really cute and fun exploration of Lance getting full-on Elsa powers. An enjoyable read from start to finish.

We’ll Just Have to Wing It by peasantlysurprised
Words: 2,798
Author’s Summary: or alternatively titled “The Space Power Rangers Try to Figure Out If Shiro Has a Natural Winged Eyeliner Look Going On Because He’s Fly Like That or Not and End Up Failing”
My Comments: I think I missed reccing this fic back when I first read it because I wasn’t making weekly lists at the time, but someone reminded me of it and I’m super glad they did. Very fun team fic with the younger paladins trying to stay up all night to catch Shiro and find out the truth.

what’s needed by eugyne (AreteNike)
Words: 2,704
Author’s Summary: The one time Shiro gives everything to his team… and the five six times they give it back.
My Comments: Absolutely FANTASTIC Post-S2 story with Shiro actually getting the support he needs, omg, I love it so much.

Gate Keeper by MoonlitPaladin (MoonlitStardust) for cupcakelevi
Words: 30,297 (WIP 7/?)
Author’s Summary: Lance is an author, known for his fantasies driven by dynamic and imaginative heroes, and yet no matter how much popularity and success he gains, it’s not enough. He doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere and he pours himself into his work, pausing only when he gets a strange postcard in the mail with no return address and a portrait of Scotland.“Light filters o’er the pass as the Keeper returns."On an adventure the likes of which only he could have written, Lance learns the true meaning of family and that there’s a thin line between fantasy and reality.
My Comments: Tagged Klance, but so far it’s about the plot and the worldbuilding. Really interesting Fantasy AU, and I’m totally hooked. Everything feels really deep and well thought-out. Again, this is why I don’t need published fiction.

Nails by BlueRoboKitty
Words: 3,435
Author’s Summary: Barely weeks after the events of S2, Lance decides to break Keith out of a bad habit and ends up creating a confrontation he’s not sure he’s prepared to deal with.
My Comments: I love fics where Lance just can’t HELP being a caregiver and he HAS to save Keith from himself because can you believe him, can you believe his terrible habits. And if it helps them find some understanding and get to know each other better, well, I’m ALL FOR IT.

The Tide by Zurela
Words: 4,116
Author’s Summary: Lance doesn’t know whether or not he can trust Keith to have his back. But now that he’s stuck under a tree, with broken bones, and on the verge of drowning, it seems he might not have a choice.
My Comments: Yet another flavor of hurt!Lance, this time with Keith along for the ride. This one hit the spot.

Piecing the World Back Together by Zurela
Words: 7,929
Author’s Summary: The Galra have taken control of the ship again. Only this time, they’ve brought a druid. And Lance is the only one in the castle. And he’s not doing so good. Oh boy, this is bad.
My Comments: Mild Klance, but mostly about Lance dealing with things alone until his team can come. I love love love Lance’s breakdown in this one, because it was awful and heartbreaking but it wasn’t over the top, and everyone was able to respond right away and tell him that his bad thoughts about himself weren’t true. And he was heroic too, my dear blue boy. Great fic.

familiar by achieving elysium (Ogygia)
Words: 40,874 (13/?)
Author’s Summary: Altean!Lance AU.The only one who remembers the fall of Altea, Lance struggles to find a place in a band of misfits he will never fully trust. Secrets aren’t the only thing on the rise; on the other side of the battlefield is Zarkon, someone Lance once saw as a brother and now his greatest enemy. But Voltron has always protected the universe, and the Blue Paladin won’t stop now.
My Comments: Finally, an Altean!Lance AU I can rec with no reservations. This is a really interesting and different take on Lance, with him being a veteran, technically much, much older than everyone else on the crew, and dealing with a whole ton of trauma and trust issues. Some secrets came out in the recent chapter that really have me salivating for more.

Home by Zurela
Words: 7,385
Author’s Summary: The members of Voltron have noticed that Lance has been behaving suspiciously lately, and make some assumptions. Well, all except one.
My Comments: Lance is such a DARLING in this one. Gah, I love him.

He is the Heart by aurumdalseni (kyo_chan)
Words: 2,479
Author’s Summary: Hunk is the paladin that helps hold them all up, but sometimes he needs to be reminded just how much he’s cared about in return. [A "Five Times Kissed” ficlet (gen/non romantic)]
My Comments: Hunk appreciation! YESSS. I love everyone’s different ways of showing how much they love Hunk.

Blue and Blood by kimuracarter
Words: 2,773
Author’s Summary: The team rescues Lance from the clutches of the Galra.
My Comments: Heartbreaking, but very well-written. This is one of those fics that I read more than once. Maybe more than twice. Very id fic for me.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

Blue and Bruised by DizzyBunnies
Masks by TiedyedTrickster
Handbook of Demonology by squirenonny for Pechat (absolutely BALLER chapter)
Truce by kyanve
Love and Other Questions by squirenonny
Little Lions by MidnightCreator
A Dream Away by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)
Out of Phase by LittleWhiteTie
Lost in the Stars by WingedChickadee
I’m not the Lance You think I am by KairaKara101
Stardust, Silk and Steel by CalicoTomcat

anonymous asked:

Has Batman ever had encounters with Harley and Ivy as Bruce Wayne? Would he ever try using that part of his identity to help them or any other of his rogues, for things like trying to start a new life away from villainy and such?

Someone was in Bruce Wayne’s office, and there was no graceful way to avoid them without making it obvious that he knew they were in there. There was a smell in the air like mulch and roses.

He had no frame of reference for what would constitute a normal amount of things to notice, and so chose to err on the side of oblivious moron.

If there’d been a smell like marzipan dipped in bleach, he might have chosen differently.

“Heya, Mister Wayne,” Harley Quinn greeted, sitting on his desk. She waved as much with her feet as her hands. He closed the door behind him.

Bruce considered his response. Hopefully his momentary indecision with regard to his facial expression could pass for surprise, or confusion, or fear. “Hello, Dr. Quinzel.”

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m not with Jay no more.”

“She’s with me,” Poison Ivy said.

“Hello, Dr. Isley.”

“I really prefer Ivy.”

“Dr. Ivy,” he corrected.

“Doncha love the way he says doctor?” Harley asked Ivy.

“Charming,” Ivy said. She did not sound charmed.

“I told her we oughta come talk to ya,” Harley explained, “on account of you’re a real nice guy an’ all.”

“Thank you?”

“I was just going to kill you,” Ivy added.

“Thank you. For not doing that.”

“Isn’t he just like a puppy?” Harley asked, pressing her hands to her cheeks.

“You can’t keep him.”

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Tip #30

METABOLISM BOOSTERS: if you’re struggling to lose weight, no matter how much you exercise, no matter how healthy you’re eating and you just don’t seem to be getting the results you feel you deserve, then there’s a chance it’s due to the actual healthy food choices you’re eating. 

There are actually a selection of foods that aid the metabolism and prevent fat storage:

Keep reading

Angara and human foods

So we know that in canon that the chemoreceptors that angara have in their tongues pick up on/process tastes differently (capsaicin doesn’t register as spicy to them, most human foods are bland to them) so now all I can imagine is Ryder trying to get a reaction out of Jaal by having him try all sorts of human foods.

And it ends up being something really plain on human standards that gets a good reaction from him and I’m not sure what would be funnier: him thinking something super bland is the most delicious thing ever, or it being super sour/bitter/unpleasant to him and him absolutely flipping out.

anonymous asked:

Question on human vs. Angaran diet. We know humans don't like nutrient paste and Angarans dislike pie. I recall some speculation that Angarans don't eat meat, which maybe explains why Jaal took apart a rodent without gagging. W/o meat eating, less need to detect unusual animal smells (= maybe meat that went bad). So the experience of savory flavors might be very different or even absent. All this is to ask, what do you think Jaal tastes when... engaging in intergalactic diplomacy? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“Intergalactic diplomacy.” lmao. I love it.

Getting to the important question first - I’ll share a little snippet from the fic I’m working on:

She tasted better than he could have imagined - not dissimilar to tavjaare, a fruit native to Havarl. The appropriateness of that comparison was not lost on him. He had many fond memories of eating them fresh from the vine, sun-warmed juices running down his chin despite all his efforts to capture them with his lips. The thought that he might soon have Ryder doing the same sent a pleasurable shiver down his spine.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So I kind of got around this question in my writing by having him compare it to a fruit I made up. I do think that the angaran sense of taste probably does enjoy flavors that we generally do not - sour, bitter, pungent, etc. (more on that later). Now… as a lady who likes ladies, I don’t dislike that, um, particular flavor, but I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Given that it’s pretty clear that the angara have a very different sense of taste, however, I’ve decided that as far as he’s concerned, it’s a very pleasing flavor. His taste receptors respond to it in a way that’s not dissimilar to how we react to sweetness. 

I leave whether or not they are herbivores entirely up to headcanon. Given that Jaal eats a lot of the same food the rest of the crew does (he talks about how human food tastes, he has eaten more than one meal prepared by Drack, etc.) and he’s on a ship full of omnivores, I’m less inclined to headcanon him as such… but to each his own. Personally, I see Jaal and Ryder’s differing attitudes about dissection as being more cultural than anything else. Logically speaking, it doesn’t make much sense that we (humans) regularly butcher animals for consumption, yet find it ghoulish to study the remains of an animal that died of natural causes in order to better understand their physiology. I’ve had to do dissections before and while I didn’t find the process pleasant, it wasn’t as though gagging was an inherent part of the task. (And I say that as someone with an annoyingly sensitive gag reflex.)

Now, to ramble a bit about angaran taste because I can - I haven’t had a chance to scour everything in the game to look for details, but the things I know so far:

  • They are immune to capsaicin (the substance that makes spicy food hot), which is probably one reason why they think human food is kind of bland. It’s incredibly likely that they simply never developed a means of detecting it, as capsaicin isn’t tasted so much as experienced through pain receptors. I have heard that people who lack sensitivity to capsaicin just find it sort of bitter on the tongue, though that’s most likely because they are tasting a base flavor that others cannot detect over the heat. Jaal would likely be able to chow down on the hottest of hot peppers and equate it to tasting like a slightly-off apple or bell pepper (assuming he’s had those before and can compare). Capsaicin is also present in smaller amounts in foods like cinnamon, cilantro, oregano, etc. so those would also probably taste a bit different to him. It is unclear if he’s also unaffected by piperine (the source of black pepper’s spiciness) - but chances are, he still finds it fairly bland, as it’s a common ingredient in human food. 

[Note: this fact will make my Ryder cry a bit on the inside, as her love of spicy food cannot be shared. She will be very disappointed when she makes him eat something exceptionally spicy as payback for calling their food bland, only for him to have zero reaction to the heat level.]

  • By contrast, angara appear to find methyl anthranilate very irritating, causing a burning sensation in the mouth. Methyl anthanilate is a flavoring used in candy, soda, chewing gum, etc. It’s mostly associated with artificial grape flavor, as it’s a naturally occurring compound in concord grapes and other related hybrids. It’s also used in modern perfume-making (so Ryder might want to check the ingredients on any perfume/soap/etc. that they wear before he puts his mouth and/or tongue on their skin. Though if they do have trace amounts of methyl anthranilate on their body, it probably would only cause a minor “spicy” sensation for Jaal). Other foods to look out for would be lemons, oranges, and strawberries. It’s up to headcanon to determine how sensitive he is to these foods. He may find the burning sensation intriguing at low doses (similar to humans and capsaicin) or he may find it completely unbearable. I’d stay away from grape candy or soda, however. That appears to be a solid “no” for Jaal. It will make his mouth and tongue burn.
  • They are completely capable of eating human food, so thankfully they don’t have to overcome the same hurdles as quarians and turians when it comes to living and working among humans. 
  • Jaal’s other mothers were not impressed with the pie Sahuna tried to make in an attempt to practice cooking for Ryder. I took this simply as confirmation that Jaal isn’t alone in thinking human food is bland. It’s a reflection of their differing sense of taste rather than mere personal preference.

So what flavors do angara like? I haven’t seen much in the game to confirm anything, but considering they can’t truly experience some of our strongest spices and think our food is generally bland, it makes me suspect that they like their food with some very strong flavors. And since Peebee said it tasted gross, those may be some strong flavors that aren’t really considered all that pleasurable to our palette. I’m thinking bitter and sour primarily, as those are flavors we generally only really like in small doses. He may enjoy things like very strong, unsweetened, plain espresso, bitter greens like kale, or very vinegary foods. It’s also quite possible that there is some compound that the angara use in their food that humans have no receptors for, making us immune in the same way they are to capsaicin. 

anonymous asked:

Do you think Lestat has ever tried to vape?

Y…y…YES, actually, i have a horrifically detailed headcanon about this being a Thing in the coven and it is HUMILIATING to be called out on it.

I am 100% sure that vaping was a thing Lestat tried, and Armand, and Daniel, and–you get the idea, because screw nicotine, this is a way to taste things.

Lots of things.

THINGS MANY OF THEM HAVE NEVER TASTED BEFORE, EVER. Chocolate! Vanilla! Cinnamon, root beer, bananas, peanuts!

I can picture various coven members getting WAY too fond of vaping all the damn time. (I’m sure some of them wouldn’t like the sensation, of course, preferring only to taste blood, but the main young cast seems pretty experimental.)

And I can see it getting incredibly irritating incredibly fast. A haze of clashing vapor hanging in the air, bothering eyes and noses, depositing a film of oil on every glass and metal surface. People’s slimy, dirty e-cigs sitting around without being cleaned, because hygiene isn’t a THING for the undead nor the ancient. Vampires trading little tastes of this and that, and Louis (because it’s always Louis, isn’t it, who has to Be The Mom?) demanding that they take it out onto the balcony because he didn’t even know vampires could GET headaches but here he is with one because of all the excessive sensory shit you’re throwing out.


nobody listens RIIIIIGHT up until someone (odds are undecided as to whether it’s Armand or Daniel) gives Lestat a “new flavor” to try, and he puts it in and takes a big inhale, and it’s pure capsaicin in an oil suspension.

Which is hilarious, seeing the Brat wheeze and scream from the BURNING PAIN, except that then that vapor hits the air and oh shit having great senses isn’t such fun after all is it

they have to evacuate the building, faces red with a glaze of blood tears, coughing up bloody phlegm like they’re all mortal again, and they can’t actually go back in until after bringing in humans with blower fans.

And now nobody vapes inside any more. Or borrows anything from anyone else.

Lesson learned.

Gonna go full white girl here for a moment

If I ask if a food is spicy at all, and you reply “No, not at all! You can barely feel it!” then that is a contradiction. It is spicy. It may not be very spicy, or even moderately spicy, but it’s still spicy. Please just tell me that straight-out.

I know there’s a good chance you’re mocking me in your head when I say that I cannot handle spices at all, and that even the mildest of sauces, that you insist are barely there, are going to hurt, because I’m mocking me too. I know I’ve got a child’s palate when it comes to spicy food. I know it’s almost laughable, how badly I react to even table pepper in more than the most minuscule of doses.

But if I ask “is this spicy,” and you answer “not at all,” and then proceed to tell me that it’s mild, then I will still consider it too spicy.

If I ask “is this spicy at all” and you say “no” while knowing that it is, just a tiny bit, because you can’t imagine anyone reacting, then please don’t be offended when I take one bite and then throw it out, because I asked for a reason.

It’s a dumb thing to talk about, but… yeah. Just do your cannot-handle-spices friends a favor and be honest when they ask. Mild is still a level of spice.

(This goes doubly for strangers, because if they have a digestive problem like, IDK, ulcers or something, then spicy food can irritate the stomach lining further and cause extreme pain. Some people claim that capsaicin can be used to treat ulcers, but you know… just play it safe, yeah?)