Cake The Distance

Buon compleanno✅

Manco io!
Amore mio, buon compleanno.
Non ti dico che quattordici anni fa è nata un fenomeno perché sei un disastro, uno di quelli belli però ah ah.
Eh Allora son proprio quattordici? Eh si sono arrivati anche per te. È solo uno in più…ma non ti vantare ora mi raccomando ah ah. È incredibile quanto il tempo passi in fretta, no? Mi ricordo quando ti ho conosciuto la prima volta, e credimi non dimenticherò mai quella volta perché fu proprio da quel momento che i miei occhi iniziarono a guardarti come se fossi la cosa più bella di questo modo. Come sai non sono brava a fare i poemi dolci strappa lacrime ma se mi ci metto sono carina anche io dai. Dovrei stare qui a scriverti mille parole, perché si sa che quando si fanno gli auguri di solito si devono scrivere tante cose carine, qualche sdolcinatezza scontata, parole messe un po’ a caso quasi perché sembra giusto fare così. Nel tuo caso però ne basterebbe solo una: grazie con la “G” maiuscola. Grazie per essere il mio punto di riferimento. Grazie per essere la mia eroina. Grazie per spingermi sempre a dare il meglio di me. Per avermi insegnato a non accontentarmi del mio minimo, e neanche del mio massimo. Grazie per credere in me, anche quando io non riesco a farlo. Grazie per avermi reso la persona che sono oggi. Grazie per le chiacchierate notturne, per la compagnia durante le notti d'insonnia. Grazie per tutti quei momenti nostri, che non ci porterà via nessuno. Grazie per i consigli, per le prediche, per le critiche. Grazie per capirmi con uno sguardo. Grazie per essere l'amica di cui ho bisogno. Ti auguro ogni bene, ogni gioia, ogni sorriso, perché è tutto ciò che tu hai regalato a me.. Da quel giorno in qui ci siamo parlate a quanto pare avevamo già capito che saremo state buone macché ottime amiche. Hai un carattere strano ma stupendo allo stesso momento che boh certe volte ti strozzerei, ma in fondo sei anche comprensiva, solare, UNICA, insostituibile, spacca palle, sincera che mi permette di essere me stessa PAZZAAA, bipolare e fragile.
Ti ricordi quante ne abbiamo passate insieme? Eggià sono duri da dimenticare i pomeriggi passati a parlare di cose serie, stupidaggini, e di amori infranti, sbagliati o addirittura futuri (letteralmente immaginari ah ah).
Sono seria da quando ti ho conosciuta sono cambiata. Con te sono stata sincera fin dal primo momento. mi dicevi i miei sbagli, i miei errori, sgridandomi peggio di mia madre, mi tenevi solo la mano e mi abbracciavi per farmi capire che c'eri che eri li con me nonostante tutto.
Voglio esserci al tuo matrimonio, essere una delle tue damigelle d'onore, voglio esserci quando vedi le candeline, esprimi un desiderio e soffi, voglio esserci quando diventerai mamma e nonna, voglio esserci quando piangi, essere quella spalla, quella che ci sarà sempre, voglio esserci quando sorridi e ridi con le lacrime agli occhi.
Ci faremo il primo tatuaggio assieme, e poi ci tingeremo i capelli di blu, biondi a mo pulcino, rosa, e poi ritorneremo dinuovo more per poi ricambiare colore. Ci faremo tante foto insieme, le più pazze. Andremo al cinema e io ti ruberò tutti i popcorn e commenterò ogni battuta (come se fosse difficile per me ah ah). Compreremo i vestiti insieme e ti metterai a ridere quando mi vedrai camminare sui tacchi (cadendo). Sceglieremo i regali di Natale insieme, e faremo gli scherzi più bastardi in giro (e ci sappiamo fare eh😏). Andremo in giro con la pioggia e coi tuoni che spaccano l'asfalto, io e te, e tenedoci per il braccio ci metteremo a correre in mezzo al traffico per non bagnarci. Andremo al Mc e ci abbufferemo come pazze, staremo in macchina col volume della musica al massimo a cantare a squarciagola. Guarderemo il sabato sera puntate su puntate di serie tv per addormentarci col pc addosso. E noi aspetteremo, no? Per tutto questo, no? Perché, noi ne valiamo la pena, ricordi? Io con te e tu con me.
Sto pensando ai nostri momenti, non a tutti i singoli momenti passati insieme, sarebbero troppi. Solo alle cose più belle, più significative. Tipo il giorno in cui ci siamo conosciute, il primo sguardo, la prima risata. La prima volta in cui ci siamo confidate per davvero, quando abbiamo capito di esserci trovate, di essere fatte per essere amiche. 
I sorrisi più veri, i viaggi che sogniamo di fare insieme, le ore passate al cellulare. Gli abbracci stretti fortissimi, quelli che riescono a salvarci da qualunque problema, quelli che ci donano la consapevolezza di sapere che il “Noi” c'è sempre, nonostante le liti, nonostante i pareri diversi o le incomprensioni. La prima volta in cui ho pianto davanti a te e ho capito quanto la sola tua presenza bastasse a consolarmi. Forse è semplicemente questo una amica, anzi il “tutto”. Una persona che ti rende felice, che ti permette di andare avanti nonostante tutto, e che per farlo non ha bisogno di grandi gesti o dimostrazioni strane. Qualcuno che riesca a salvarti da tutto, anche semplicemente standoti affianco. E a volte siamo tutte portate a darla per scontato, a considerarla una cosa normale, ma non lo è affatto. Avere una persona che ti capisce senza le parole e che sa farti sorridere solo con la sua presenza, è la cosa migliore del mondo.
Non sono un'amica perfetta lo ammetto, so che sembro stare altrove a volte,
capitano a tutti le giornate storte e a me molto spesso ah ah ma Mati sei diversa da tutte le altre, nel senso positivo, in pochissimi mesi mi hai travolto come uno tsunami e mi hai cambiata…
Non ci conosciamo ma allo stesso tempo si, sei fantastica.
Come dice Ligabue, eri solo da incontrare ma ci sei sempre stata,
Cavolo se è vero…
Prometto che io per te ci sarò sempre, perché sono sicura che noi due siamo qualcosa di particolare e unico che non verra mai rovinato.
Si, forse sono paranoica e non vedi l'ora che finisca sto poema ma volevo farti capire quello che forse in questi anni non sono riuscita a dimostrarti, cioè che ti considero più di una semplice amica, tu sei complessa ed è forse solo per questo che mi capisci e comprendi.
AUGURI VITA MIA, LUCE DEI MIEI OCCHI, ARIA DEI MIEI POLMONI E ROTTURA DEI MIEI COGLIONI..TI AMO IMMENSAMENTE SCASSACAZZO CHE NON SEI ALTRO…ah ah il mio stile non manca maiii!
Eh beh che dire AUGURI AMÓ✅

6

so yeah like the card the mustache looney is holding says, a Happy belated Birthday from me to you  ribbonakiko! Since it’s a week late. I hope these dorks make up for that fact

and yes Sora made Riku wear that

The Distance
Cake
The Distance

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line,

Engines pumping and thumping in time.

The green light flashes, the flags go up.

Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup.

They deftly maneuver and muscle for rank,

Fuel burning fast on an empty tank.

Reckless and wild, they pour through the turns.

Their prowess is potent and secretly stearn.

As they speed through the finish, the flags go down.

The fans get up and they get out of town.

The arena is empty except for one man,

Still driving and striving as fast as he can.

The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,

And long ago somebody left with the cup.

But he’s driving and striving and hugging the turns.

And thinking of someone for whom he still burns. 

2

Hey guys! Please send me prompts! I love these! Also please forgive me if I made billy seem unlike his character. I dont want to offend anyone so if anyone has any tips please send em my way privately so i can fix them!
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GRANOLA (Cranscott fanfic)

It had been a long day. It was just Jason and Billy in the pit for these last few hours. Zack needed to get home to his mom, Trini had to watch her brothers while her parents went out and Kimberly got into it with her parents earlier so they gave her a curfew. Billy’s mom was renting a new van and Billy didn’t really drive so much so Jason was his ride home and would probably stay the night or just bike home. It beats biking all the way to the mines and then back.

Jason smirked as he barely dodged a punch.

“Woah! You’re killing it Billy!” Jason said in between breaths. Billy stopped and clapped a few times. Jason laughed and rested his hands on his knees. He hunched over in exhaustion. Both boys were drenched in sweat, Jason in his tank and red jogging pants and Billy in his blue sweat suit and head band. All of the rangers had started to wear more of their colors, unbeknownst to each other. It had just become a little thing for all of them, their own signature touch. It was actually Billy who mentioned it to all the rangers at lunch. They all pretended like they didn’t even notice but it was quite apparent what they had all begun to do.

“Can we take a break? I can barely stand up!” Billy exclaimed. Jason chuckled and nodded. Billy was just so… cute? Jason couldn’t explain it right. Whenever he was with him, he just couldn’t be anything but happy. It’s like the blue ranger’s joy and carefree energy was infectious. Honestly, Jason didn’t mind the feeling one bit. It was much better than being at home. His mom barely talked to him anymore because she was so busy taking care of his sister Pearl, and his dad was just being… well, dad. Being with Billy was almost like an escape for the leader, but not in a using and manipulating way. Billy was much more to him than that, and frankly, it was very scary.

Ever since they defeated Rita, the two had been spending much more time together. Trini and Kimberly totally snicker whenever Jason saves Billy a seat right next to him at lunch. Zack prides himself in being the best wingman ever, so whenever Billy runs from the lunch line to snag that seat, Zack just says obnoxious shit like “Oh Billy, doesn’t Jason look sooooooooo hot today?” Jason just kicks him under the table and Billy smiles and nods.

“Yeah. He looks nice all the time.” Jason groans and rubs his face to hide his blush and then Billy goes on to talk about other things.

So yeah, it’s gotten a little out of hand.

Jason and Billy grab their water bottles and sit down on the flat rock near the entrance of the pit. Jason starts chugging his water and Billy tries to slow down his breathing to a steady pace. “Being a power ranger is a lot of work you know? Like when me and my dad would come to the mines, we didn’t really do anything, well I didn’t. My dad would do all the work and I would help out a lot more when I got older, but other than that I would sit and watch, I never thought that there would be all this stuff here.”

“Well it’s honestly because of you that we’re here.” Jason said. Billy nodded.

“All I did was blow up the wall. We wouldn’t be rangers if it wasn’t for you, and Trini, and Kimberly… and Zack too.” Jason laughed and finished the last of his water. Billy pulled out a granola bar and opened it, offering it to Jason. “You want some? I’m not super hungry.” Jason nodded and took a piece.

“Thanks.” Jason said as he tossed the small piece into his mouth. The chocolate chips tasted so good after that work out. Billy bit into the granola bar and scarfed it down in about 30 seconds. However, the silence that followed felt like it lasted for hours.

“Jason…?’

“Yeah Billy?”

“Do you know Amanda?” Jason kinda sighed, thinking no, hoping that Billy was gonna ask him something else. But he never thought he’d ask about his ex girlfriend. She was one of the head cheerleaders and after he messed up his leg after the whole beef cake incident, they just started distancing themselves from one another. It was obvious that they were together because of the social statuses and hierarchies of Angel Grove High.

“Uh… yeah. We talked to each other for a while. Why?”

“Oh. Her and her friends just laugh sometimes when they see me or us. And at lunch when we all sit together. They whisper and say things but I don’t really know why. It makes me feel weird or just bad. I heard Kimberly saying that they cut her out of a picture or something and they aren’t friends anymore. At least she has us because if I didn’t have you guys I probably wouldn’t have anyone to talk to either.” Jason only heard about Amanda and started to heat up. He knows that Billy can handle himself but he feels extremely protective of him, and these new feelings that he’s having are not helping.

“She laughs at you? What does she say? Does she do anything else? Has she said anything to you?” Jason tensed up a bit as he sort of spat out each question. He truly doesn’t understand how someone could bother Billy. He’s kind and considerate and truly a good person. He even morphed before everyone else because he cared so much.

“I don’t know what she says exactly. And she hasn’t talked to me. Are you ok Jason? I didn’t mean to upset you at all. It doesn’t bother me a lot.” Jason looked away.

“No I’m fine. As long as she doesn’t say anything to you. If she does let me know.” Billy nodded.

“Okay. You said you talked to her before?”

“More like dated.”

“She was your girlfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“So you liked her then?”

“Not really. We were just together because we felt like we had to be. Like, if we weren’t then the school wasn’t in balance or some shit like that.” Billy frowned a bit at the swear and tone in Jason’s voice. “Sorry Billy.”

“No it’s okay. I just can’t say that word, but you can say what you want.” They both laughed a bit. “Is that how you feel with me?” Jason was completely thrown off by the question.

“Wait what?”

“Do you feel like you have to be with me because we’re a team?”

“No! Of course not Billy, not at all. You are nothing like those stuck up kids that go there, and trust me, I would know because I was one of them. You’re a good person, someone who actually cares about others and would do anything to protect them. I enjoy being around you.” Billy smiled and fiddled his fingers together.

“I enjoy being around you too Jason.” Billy could feel the heat radiating off of Jason’s body. They were so close. Billy started to heat up a bit too. His cheeks flushed. He became confused. He didn’t normally like touching and all of that but Jason was different. He was nice. The closest thing to a friend he has ever had at Angel Grove. But he knows what friendship feels like.

Friendship is how he feels with the other rangers.

This isn’t the same thing.

But he doesn’t really know what it is then and how to act on the feelings. If it’s not friendship, then what exactly is he feeling and why?

“You know Jason, you’re my friend, and whenever I see you I just want to go to you and talk with you, and walk with you, and just be near you all the time. I hope it doesn’t get annoying because I know that I can be that sometimes or boring even…” Jason shook his head at that, “but when I’m with you, I get all weird inside, like my face heats up and my stomach feels funny, not like I’m going to throw up or anything but well, I guess you felt the same with Amanda… or probably not… well maybe you felt the throwing up part because you didn’t like her but I even talked with Kimberly about it. She told me that it’s a good thing, and that I like you, and I do like you obviously but Kimberly corrected me and told me not in the way that she feels about you or Zack, but that I like you the same way that she feels about Trini. Does that make sense?” Jason was just dumbfounded. Was Billy really explaining how he felt himself? Everything was the same down to a tee, his feelings, the weird sensation in his stomach.

“Is that all true Billy? You feel that way? With me?”

“Well of course. She said that I probably want to be with you but I’m with you right now like I am all the time but it doesn’t fix the feelings I get. It only makes them worse…” Jason bit his lip. He was never good with words but he was a leader, that was his job. To encourage his team or to speak for them as Zordon put it, which he completely disagreed with. They were their own people and could speak up for themselves but how was he to lead a team if he could barely talk himself?

“Jason?” Jason snapped back to reality at the sound of Billy’s voice.”

“Sorry I was just…” he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

“You’re mad at me aren’t you? I was hoping that wouldn’t happen Jason I’m sorry. I don’t want to weird you out.”

“No Billy listen-” Jason grabbed Billy’s hand. Billy flinched a bit from surprise but Jason forced himself to ignore it and not pull away out of instinct. He had to get these words out. If he didn’t, then he knew he’d regret it. “Billy I feel the same. I do I really do. You’re so smart and just… yourself. You don’t pretend to be anyone that you’re not and I wish that I had done that years ago. When I see you, no matter what’s happened at home or at school, I’m happy, and that’s a feeling I haven’t felt in so long.” Billy smiled and looked down at their hands. It was all so strange. Neither boy could understand it really but as strange as it was, it felt right. And that’s all that mattered now.

They’ve seen stranger things than this anyway, like the whole teen super hero zero crystal dino car stuff.

Billy laughed and Jason smiled at him. “What’s so funny? Did I sound stupid?”

“No it’s just, you know how Trini and Kimberly are?” Jason rolled his eyes.

“You mean like making out all the time?” Billy laughed.

“Sure…” Jason smiled and looked away, his cheeks flushed. He leaned into Billy a bit and turned. He looked at him, he actually looked at Billy. He was perfect. The moonlight framed his face in the most fascinating way. Jason kissed Billy on the cheek. Billy smiled and faced him. He leaned in a bit and caught Jason’s lips in his own. They broke apart after a few seconds. Jason laughed with excitement and put his head on Billy’s shoulder.

“Why are you laughing at me now?” Billy said breaking into short laughs between the words.

“Nothing it’s just… you taste like granola.”

“Yeah? Well so do you!”

They both laughed against each other until their sides ached.

listen on youtube / 8tracks / spotify

“masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season / and if i claim to be a wise man, it surely means that i don’t know”

oh yeah yello / distance cake / keep the car running arcade fire / everyday superhero smash mouth / hurry hurry air traffic controller / don’t stop believin’ journey / carry on wayward son kansas / kids mgmt / frontier psychiatrist the avalanches / through the fire and flames / dragonforce / la devotee panic! at the disco / time to pretend mgmt / just can’t get enough depeche mode / the safety dance men without hats / once in a lifetime talking heads / dancing with myself billy idol / closing time semisonic + bonus tracks (youtube + 8tracks only)

cover art (thank you!) 

a hard rock beginning to soft folk resolution musical narrative of young ambition, rough war, unexpected love, persistent loss, and tender reunion

[8tracks FULL LISTEN] or click on individual song titles

cover art source unknown, if you have info message me!

Initial Excitement at Their Partnership - both / Look At Me (I’m a Winner) - The Aquabats

Personality Conflicts - rider / You May Be Right - Billy Joel

The Fighting Begins - both / Badlands - Bruce Springsteen

Waver’s Guilt and Insecurity - verses rider, chorus waver / Little Lion Man - Mumford and Sons

Episode 13 Pep Talk - waver / More Than Useless - Relient K

Sex as a Means to Replenish Mana - waver / Animal - Neon Trees

I Have a Big Crush On My Servant and There Is No Way He Likes Me Like That - waver / Who Said Anything (About Falling in Love) - the Hoosiers

The Final Battle - rider / One of Us is Gonna Die Young - the Ark

Post-Defeat Loneliness - waver / Happy Ending - MIKA

Trying to Make His Way Back - rider / The Distance - CAKE

Lord El-Melloi II - waver / Hello My Old Heart - the Oh Hellos

Reunion/Defying the Grail Cycle - both / The Laws Have Changed - the New Pornographers

A New Love Affair - waver / Lay All Your Love on Me - ABBA

The Rest of Their Lives - rider / Driven By You - Brian May/Queen

Death/Ionioi Hetairoi - waver / Last Limit of Bhakti - the Mountain Goats

IGGY MILKOVICH ON JEOPARDY FANFIC

Ok…I’ve got 20 min before church ends. I’m in the back pew & God and I already talked out our shit 15 min ago. Padre is lulling me to sleep with some talk about being prideful as a Latino…I don’t know enough Spanish to put it all together and since I’m not Latino, I’m gonna check out and dick off on tumblr.
Seems appropriate.

MY OWN CHARACTER’S FANFIC:
(I am officially the #1 Iggy Milkovich fan. Step to that fact.)

Iggy is jolted awake by the slam stop of the L - everyone bustles out of the train as the young Milkovich wipes his eyes and pops 3 Valium. As he exits, a PETA protestor accosts him for support to her cause: “Stop make-up testing on chimps! It’s cruel!” reads the flyer being shoved in his face. “Sure makes it easier to beat off to monkeys tho, huh?” Iggy utters as he starts to eat the flyer.

Iggy crosses the street to the United Center, where today, the game show JEOPARDY is filming their Mid-West Regional. “What the fuck is this shit?” Iggy audibly asks nobody. “Jeopardy, man. Smart ass peeps taking a quiz to win butt loads of cash.” replies a hipster college kid. “Shut up. No one asked you shit.” Iggy snaps and turns back to the giant JEOPARDY billboard hanging above the United Center’s West gate. Thinking, as easily as it’s capable for him, Iggy walks towards the gate.

Iggy quickly enters the line and while side stepping, sometimes physically moving egg heads out of his way, he proceeds to the front. He is met by a prissy bitch with glasses and headset, holding a clipboard. “How can I help you?” she asks hesitantly, as she clocks his dirty, torn clothes and unwashed hair. “Jeperdy.” is his expectant response. “Ok…umm…what is your name?” as she goes down to her clipboard to pretend to look for it.
“Lip.” says Iggy, with a self satisfied smile. “No lip, I was merely asking a question.” she quickly spouts. “Bitch. My name is Lip.”
“Oh, I apologize. What is your last name?” as she rifles through her pages. Fuck, what is that ginger fuck family name? Iggy is pressing his mind for the answer…until “FRANK!” “Your name is ‘Lip Frank’?” she sarcastically queries.
“Did I stutter?” Iggy asks menacingly as he evaporates her personal space by his. She begins to quake with fear. “Let me call my 1st AD.” As she yaps into her XBox microphone, Iggy sees the list. PHILLIP GALLAGHER. Gallagher, yea, like that twat who takes a giant hanmer to the watermelons, right? Makes sense, that whole fam is fucked. That shit head’s name is Phillip? What a fag.
“That’s my middle name. My full name is Phillip Frank Gallagher.” he proudly professes. “Oh. Welcome Phillip. Can I see your ID?” she knowingly requests. Fuck this. “You can let me pass or I can start breaking things. I choose to start with your neck.” he answers, completely nonchalant, as if he was at a fucking tea party. The young coordinator says nothing as she clocks his knuckle tatts and moves out of his path.

Iggy hears much noise and commotion, nothing like WWE RAW or SMACKDOWN but loud enough, as he enters to see a giant stage with audience, cameras, tvs, and a whole slew of wires and cables. He quickly wraps 4 HDMI cables around his waist and pulls his shirt back over them. Fuckin thief. He walks onto the stage and a pompous tool yells “Hey! No crew on stage! Get your grips off my set, Ronald!” Iggy goes straight at him. “Shut the fuck up with your ruckus; I’m 'Phil-Lip’ Gallagher. Where’s the money?” “You’re a contestant?” the AD asks with doubt. Iggy jolts into himself, forgetting his guise “I’m a fucking Milkovich. Where. Is. The. Goddamn Money?”

Absolute Silence.

Iggy turns to a pale white faced audience with wide eyes staring right at him. He lets go of the AD’s blazer and mockingly dusts off his lapels. “When do we start?” Iggy asks with an awkward nicety. Taken aback, the AD composes himself and says “5 minutes, Mr. Milkagher; is this what you’re wearing? Uh, please enjoy kraft services, we will come get you to start.” Right then, Iggy heads off for that sprawl of donuts and coffee cake in the distance.

After stuffing his face (and vest pockets) with food, he finds a spot to sit. ALEX TRIBECK reads in cool font on a nice leather weirdo chair. Good enough, he thinks as he plops down to finish off 2 more danishes. “Excuse me, you’re in my chair.” comes a stick-in-the-ass voice from behind Iggy. He turns to see the host of Jeopardy staring bullets into him. “And I should give a fuck, why?” Iggy volleys. Mr. Tribeck is at a loss and after a beat, leaves to prep somewhere else.

“Mr. Gallagher, we’re ready for you.” Iggy just stares at the AD. Oh, right, shit. “Yea, cool your jets.” He eyes the orange juice. “Gonna grab some OJ.” He (not hiding it at all) opens his flask and dumps all of its tequila into the OJ ½ gallon and downs the ¾ full bottle in one stance, then proceeds to the AD. “Ok, now what?” Iggy is led to his podium and told to write his name on the screen. The rules and etiquette are then explained to him as he isn’t listening at all.

“Quiet on the set!” shouts the AD, “We go in 5, 4, 3……” Corny music blares and the audience erupts into applause. Iggy is dumbfounded by this spectacle. That guy bitching about his chair enters across the stage and starts addressing the audience & then the contestants. Iggy now realizes he stands between an overweight black guy with horn rimmed glasses, smelling of Brut, and an old white lady that had to be older than death. Where the fuck am I, he thinks.

“Welcome Margerie, tell us about yourself, please.” says Alex. “I’m from Ashland, I’m 82 and sharp as a whistle!” Margerie responds with energy. She’s way too excited to still be breathing. And 'sharp as a whistle’? My god. “You seem to be, good luck!” yaps Alex, “And, Phillip…” - we now see that Iggy’s name screen reads: LIP GALAGGER LIKES GUYS (w/a crude penis doodle underneath) - “…tell us a little bit about what you do for a living?” “Fuck bitches; get money.” is Iggy’s auto reply.

Awkward silence, as the AD is whipping his finger in a circle to keep going. (FCC will bleep the cussing)

“Charming, Phillip. - Mr. Williams, you’re a professor and our 4 week return champion, congratulations. Anything to expound?” as Alex regains form & pace. “Happy to be representing Northwestern University African Studies, Alex.” says the portly man to Iggy’s right. “NWU is here in Chicago, guy.” Iggy corrects him. Mr. Williams refuses to acknowledge Iggy’s idiocy. “Wonderful! Let’s start JEOPARDY!” as Alex then reveals today’s categories. Iggy yawns, what the fuck is '16th century sonnets’?
“Our last category is 'Fatal Accidents’ - hey, that’s what my dad calls me. Iggy feels falsely confident in that category. "Ken, we will start with you, as the champion.” says Alex. “I will go with 'Ancient Philosophies’ for 400, Alex.” says the professor. “Aristotle held communion to teach this very important philosophy to the young men of Greece.” states Alex. “What is existentialism.” says the professor. “I’m sorry, that is incorrect, Ken.” replies Alex after a dunce noise is sounded. “What is individualism.” says Margerie. “Also incorrect.” comes Alex. Fuck it. Iggy hits his button. “Uh…whoever smelt it, dealt it.” answers Iggy. There are a few scarce laughs from the audience. “Sorry, that is incorrect, Mr. Gallagher. And you must answer in the form of a question.” says Alex. “What?” asks Iggy. “Exactly.” says Alex, not wanting to waste anymore time. Fuck did I miss here? he thinks.

35 min later.

“Ken, you lead with 8,600 - followed by Margerie with 6,400 - and lastly, Phillip with -14,800. Time for Final Jeopardy. We will allow you, Phillip, to choose the category.” says Alex. “Fuckin finally, shit.” snorts Iggy. He is clearly frustrated. “Fatal Accidents.” he demands. “For how much?” asks Alex. “A grand.” snaps Iggy. “Ok, Fatal Accidents for 1,000: This royalty was killed in a car crash, involving paparazzi in 1994.” states Alex. Iggy is quick to buzz in with “Princess Fucking Diana, man!” He knows he’s right this time. “You are correct, Phillip, but once again, no points for not answering in the form of a question.” sighs the host.

Without time to process, Iggy launches himself from his podium and tackles Alex Tribeck to the floor, pummeling him with his fists. “Fuck you! It was Princess Die, you fucking fuck! I’m right!!” Iggy screams, as we see him strangle Alex with one of his stolen cables. As security rush the stage, the house lights come up and everyone watches in horror as Iggy punches off 2 guards, kicks Alex hard one last time in the rib cage, “Bitch.”

He gauges his situation. Shit, gotta escape. He spots a petroleum tank under a cart of hot food. Bingo. He rushes to pull it out, breaking it’s nozzle, now spewing gas into the air. Using it as a shield, he dashes to the exit. As he kicks open the door, alarms sound. He turns back to see over 20 security personnel heading at him. He throws the gas tank and removes his Zippo from his back pocket. Flicks it aflame & tosses it in the tank’s wake. He ducks out the door and books down the alleyway as his backdrop is ignited by explosion.

2 hours later. Southside.

Iggy looks even more ragged than usual as he turns the street corner. Lip is making his way up the same street. “Fuck happened to you, Iggy?” he asks with genuine concern. “Fuck off Phil-Lip. Couldn’t even win Jeopardy, stupid.” replies Iggy as he sulks past Lip. Lip is left beyond confused. “For fuck’s sake with you Milkovich degenerates! Your whole family is fucking nuts!” yells Lip. “Yea? We got dicks too! I think Mandy’s still got yours and Mickey now holds 2. You’re welcome to suck on mine, you dumb genius piece of shit!” slams Iggy. He continues home with a small smirk as he unwinds the 3 other HDMI cables and the 2 wallets he swiped, enjoying a flattened muffin from his vest pocket.

The End. =)

► listen | part 1 of 2 | alternative & rock

As far as we’re concerned, once you’ve become a snake, you’re one of ours — one of the elite. | tracklist:

oh my god ft. lily allen - mark ronson | feeling good - muse | immigrant song - led zeppelin | action - the sweet | the distance - cake | guilty filthy soul - awolnation | potion approaching - arctic monkeys | calm like a bomb - rage against the machine | what you want - evanescence | rules don’t stop me - we are scientists | flawed design - stabilo | outsiders - franz ferdinand | the sea is calling - the temper trap | pa pa power - dead man’s bones | adore adore - yoav | pays to know - mypet | always right - ramona falls | trouble is a friend - lenka | money power glory - lana del rey | crystalised - the xx | eyes on fire - blue foundation

here come the horns // an eclectic mixture of songs that beautifully feature some kind of horn instrument!

Irresistible Fall Out Boy / Same Old Song and Dance Aerosmith / Midnight City M83 / Beekeeper’s Daughter The All-American Rejects / Winter Winds Mumford & Sons / Hump de Bump Red Hot Chili Peppers / Heart Out The 1975 / The Distance Cake / Little Talks Of Monsters and Men / Dude (Looks Like a Lady) Aerosmith / Houdini Foster the People / Sarah Smiles Panic! At the Disco / Safe and Sound Capital Cities

Gomu Gomu no DANCE! (listen)

A fanmix for Monkey D. Luffy

1. The Distance- CAKE

2. Le Banquet- C2C

3. One Foot- Fun

4. Hands Are Clever- Alex Clare

5. All We Got- Fergie

6. Panic Station- Muse

7. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger- Daft Punk Vs. Kanye West

8. Louder than Boom- Tiesto

9. The Ugly Dance- Fulkultur

10. Kill Your Heroes- AWOLNATION

11. Dianne Young- Vampire Weekend

12. The Streets- Foxy Shazam