Funhaus in a Nutshell

Peake is a mountain man who lives with his head in the clouds and feet in the sand. Waves crash below him but they daren’t touch him.

Adam is a whisper in the low fog from one lover to another. Sweet kisses on the cheek like soft goodbyes.

Lawrence is a hard, sculpted man like marble gods in high arched towers. He stands his ground with his hands on his hips and he is a force of law. Both literally and figuratively.

Sean is the lowriding tide that comes in when the moon soars high over the clouds and past the horizon. He is stars decorating the quiet sky and blinking bright, bright, brightly.

James is blue eyes and the champion of the Gods. He wears the smile of Aphrodite and makes men and women swoon with a single glare.

Elyse is a goddess among mortals. She hides in the corners of back alleys and side doors, but always reminds you to turn on the front porch light, to feed the dog, to say goodnight to the sun when it sets.

Bruce is defiance. Bruce is a protector, a sentry, a warrior who was swore to protect the innocent from the end of time till the end of time again. On repeat, he is fearless.

Joel is a nightingale. He is satin and soft fabrics and moonlight sonatas. He holds the conductor’s baton like twirling a wand and he is magic.  


(via CSS&SB 803, Michigan City, IN | The 803 is shoving his caboo… | Flickr)

Caption: “The 803 is shoving his caboose back towards the yard at Michigan City, getting ready for a little trip.  At the time, the South Shore was under the control of the Chessie System. The big cat didn’t interfere too much with the electric’s operations, but did lend equipment to the CSS&SB, such as the caboose the 803 had a hold of, and the blue GP partially hidden from view. This shot is over 40 years old and sadly will never be repeated.”

South Shore Line

Michigan City, Indiana

March 16, 1977

Photo by Bill Johnson

He's Not Her

Rating: T

Words: 1804

Pairings: Churboose, past Chexas

Warnings: Brief mentions of sex

Summary: Leonard still loves Allison after she’s left him. Michael reminds him of her and Leonard decides to use that to his advantage.


Allison was gone. She was gone and honestly, Leonard didn’t think she was coming back this time. No, he knew she wasn’t going to come back, she had said so herself. He needed to move on and he knew it, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t get her wheat colored hair or her dark eyes, that in the right light had little bits of gold in them, out of his head.

When Leonard first saw Michael his heart hurt and his head screamed ‘Allison!’ But no, the hair was too messy, too short, too curly. The stature too tall, too muscular, too male. Michael was too clingy and loud, but still he reminded Leonard of her. The colors are what got him. How could their hair be the same color? How was it that their eyes were the same, flecks of gold and all? Leonard decided it was the universe’s way of fucking with him.

At first he tried pushing the younger man away, berating and yelling at him. He thought he would be sensitive enough to leave. The attempts did not deter Michael from his quest of becoming Leonard’s best friend, so eventually, Leonard just let it happen.

Leonard’s heart still ached whenever he would look up at Michael. Sometimes he saw far too much of Allison in him. They had similar smiles, both made his heart melt a little, though, with Michael the ache tagged along with the melting. As time went on with Michael around he got used to it, or he tried to.

It was hard not to pull Michael into a tight hug or give him a kiss when he smiled at Leonard. It was hard not to love him, not to love Allison. Soon it became too much for him to be around Michael without doing those things. He slipped and kissed Michael under the stars when he ran up to him with a jar full of fireflies, just as a child would, his face lit up with a large smile. Leonard kissed him again and again for Allison, and soon for enough, when the giggles had gotten to him, he was kissing him for Michael.

Leonard kissed Michael in the dark for a long time. Michael didn’t mind, he was just happy to be able to kiss Leonard, who he had fallen for along the way. Leonard kissed him in the dark in hopes that if he thought hard enough he could pretend Michael was Allison. It did not work. Michael’s kisses were enthusiastic, sloppy, loving. Hers were slow, fiery, stiff. He kissed Michael in the dark in hopes that he would convince himself to love Allison again and not Michael.

The first time they had sex Leonard cried. He cried because Michael was not her. He cried because Michael was so different from her in more ways than just his anatomy. Michael cried with Leonard because he thought he had done something wrong. They pulled their clothes back on and cried into each other, Michael apologizing the entire time. Leonard soon stopped crying for Allison and began crying for Michael. He cried because sweet, sweet Michael did not deserve this. He did not deserve to be Allison’s replacement.

Michael was far more kind than Allison. He often gave Leonard gifts for no reason, buying him things just because they reminded him of the older man. The apartment they now shared always had to have flowers on the small dining room table because Michael thought that Leonard always needed to feel special, especially because he cried and yelled so much about things Michael didn’t understand. Leonard cried, now away from the man that reminded him so much of Allison and made him forget about her at the same time, because he did not deserve someone as kind as Michael.

Michael cried a lot more than Allison. He cried because of nightmares and sometimes when Leonard yelled at him. He cried during movies and when he would listen to the sad parts of his books. He wasn’t anything like Allison. He wasn’t anything like her and yet Michael still reminded him of her.

Leonard called Michael by her name a lot. The first time Michael was confused.

“Oh, Church,” even what Michael called him was different from her, “that is not my name.” Michael said the words with a confused smile.

Leonard just shook his head, “I know, Caboo, I know.”

The pet name made Michael grin and giggle, forgetting about the mistake. Michael loved receiving pet names from Leonard. Allison would have punched him.

Leonard called Michael Allison far more than he should have. When he was laughing so hard he couldn’t think the name would slip right out of his mouth. When Michael would wrap his arms around Leonard from behind, tucking his head to fit between his shoulder blades, as he made them dinner. He made the mistake of calling him Allison during sex more than once. Michael would just frown when they were laughing, bury his face in Leonard’s back, shoulders, chest, anything he could to avoid looking at Leonard after those awkward moments.

As time went on Michael grew more and more upset whenever Leonard would call him the wrong name. Slowly, he deduced that Allison was someone important to Leonard, but he did not understand why he was called by her name. He asked Leonard about her one day and he just got angry at Michael. Leonard yelled at him and told him that he could never be like her so it didn’t matter. Michael cried because he wasn’t Allison and he didn’t make Leonard happy by being Michael.

As time went on the gifts from Michael became fewer and further between. There were no longer flowers on their little dining room table. Michael smiled and laughed less. He hardly looked at Leonard and ended up sleeping on their couch. He didn’t want to bother Leonard, after all. Michael was home less and less, often spending time with Franklin, David, or even Lavernius. Anything to try and make Leonard happy.

Leonard’s heart hurt all over again. Watching Michael drift so far away from him but still staying close hurt more than Allison leaving ever could. Michael did not deserve any of this and Leonard wanted to fix it so badly. He knew he had to start by loving Michael more.

Leonard bought him flowers. He bought him the prettiest blue bouquet he could find. He set them out on the table before Michael got home. Leonard prepared Michael’s favorite dinner and brought out his favorite movie, letting the menu play over and over so Michael would see it upon walking in. Michael did not come home that night. Leonard sat listening to that menu music all night waiting.

Michael did not answer any of Leonard’s calls and eventually, after around his tenth call, Michael’s phone had been turned off. He did not think to call any of Michael’s friends as he just sat and waited, panic setting in slowly as the night wore on.

Michael finally walked through the front door the next afternoon, the movie menu still playing on the TV. He crept into the living room curiously, finding Leonard asleep on the couch. Michael frowned and pulled the blanket draped on the back of the couch over Leonard’s sleeping frame.

Leonard startled when he felt the blanket come over his shoulders. His eyes shot open and he looked to Michael and, after a few moments rubbing sleep from his eyes, he shot up and wrapped his arms around the taller man. Michael was confused and he hesitantly hugged him back. Leonard pulled away very soon after, taking Michael’s face in his hands to look him over. His hands were soon removed and Michael turned away.

“Please,” Michael’s voice was sad and broken, “please, do not touch me, Church.”

Leonard’s face fell, “Caboo, baby, what’s wrong?” He reached for him and was met with nothing a Michael moved away from him again.

Michael wrings his hands and still refused to look at Leonard. “I am not Allison, Church.”

Leonard made to reach for Michael again but his hand dropped. “Michael…”

“I am not Allison but you love her. You do not love me,” Michael’s voice was small and thick with tears. “Why don’t you love me too, Church?”

Leonard was quiet for a long time, Michael’s words sticking in his head and breaking his heart. Michael was speaking again before Leonard could even form a though, “Church, I want you love me too.” Michael sounded so broken as he spoke the words. Leonard wrapped his arms around his middle in an instant, burying his face into Michael’s back.

“I got you flowers,” Leonard whispered into his back, a bit lamely. He didn’t know what else to say, “They’re on the table. I made mac and cheese, your favorite, it’s in the fridge.”

Michael was confused. Leonard never bought him gifts or hugged him so tightly. He never made Michael’s favorite food or watched his favorite movie unless Michael begged. Michael was absolutely delighted that Leonard had done all of that for him, but he was still confused.

“I don’t understand…”

Leonard sighed and turned him around, looking up into those big brown eyes that still reminded him of Allison, but were becoming Michael’s alone, because if he looked close enough they were different. He grabbed onto the lightly freckled cheeks and pulled him down enough that their foreheads touched.

“Michael, I do love you. God, do I love you,” Leonard gave him a light kiss, deciding to save the explanation for later, unless prompted. “Now, let’s watch that stupid movie of yours, ok?”

Michael’s entire face lit up, despite the remnants of tears on his cheeks. His entire world was brighter and he picked Leonard up in a bone crushing hug, spinning him around.

“Oh, Church, I love you too!” Leonard laughed despite being crushed a bit. Once Michael put him back on the ground Leonard pulled him down for another kiss with the man he hadn’t meant to fall in love with. He kissed him over and over again, reveling in the fact that Michael’s kisses weren’t like Allison’s and that Michael hugged him a little too tightly or that sometimes he accidentally bit his lip during a kiss. That Michael loved pet names and to cuddle for a little too long before cleaning up after sex. That Michael was not Allison.

Leonard knew it would take some time for things to be fixed between Michael and himself, along with their friends, who Michael had told all about the situation. He knew it would take extra effort from himself to avoid calling Michael by her name, but for now they were happy, Michael was happy, and that’s all Leonard needed.

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Caboo’s Shiphaus Bodyguard AU

Lawrence: Joel’s bodyguard. A little salty about the whole job description. Sure he’s tough and definitely trained and the guy for the job but he’s dealt with literally the worst clients. He always gets the rich, demanding ones. Burnie purposely gives him the hard jobs because he knows Law will do his job without complaining and put up with the client. He sees as the only goal of his job is to keep his client physically safe. It’s not until he’s assigned to Joel does he start to understand that not only is the physical safety of his client important, but also the mental and emotional too.

Joel: Previously put in the hospital twice before his brother hired a bodyguard for him. First hospitalization was by his abusive boyfriend, the second time was after his attempted suicide after his asshole boyfriend left him. Though he’s estranged with his rich, high-class family, his brother hired a bodyguard to watch over him in exchange for not having to be sent to therapy. Joel is not happy to have a bodyguard, but he’d rather have one than talk to a shrink and possible confront his family about his sexual preferences and shitty love life. He lives in a crappy apartment by himself despite his high social standing and wealth because he doesn’t think he deserves better.

Sean Poole: Diagnosed with severe OCD. He counts things in threes therefore he insisted that he have two bodyguards (Adam and Matt). He almost drives them up the wall by his insistence at things in threes. SPoole’s situation is similarly like a witness protection program. The “seen something he shouldn’t have” situation. Little does he know, despite Adam’s complaining about how troublesome and tiring his quirks and OCD habits are, Adam completely adores him. Matt may seem strict and 1000% only concerned with his safety, but he’s also just as fuck as Adam.  

Adam: Bodyguard with a relaxed, nonchalant attitude. Everyone thinks he never takes his job seriously when in reality he’s giving everyone a quick double check, always noting if anyone is suspicious or a danger. He moves fast despite his uncaring outer appearance (and his resting bitch face syndrome). He works in partnership with Matt Peake, sharing their client, Spoole. They start the job around the time where Spoole’s OCD is getting worse and worse and end up grounding him and being the reason why he eventually bit by bit, copes better.

Matt: Bodyguard- it’s practically the family business. If anything, he’s the most serious about his job. Unlike Bruce who gives in to James’ begging to go places and have fun, Matt takes Spoole’s safety seriously. In comparison, Adam and Matt are actually just as serious about their job. However, Matt actually seems serious about his job. Him and Adam work well together, especially when their concern for Spoole starts to increase as Spoole’s condition gets worse and worse. They know it’s not part of their job description to care for Spoole in a emotional sense, but they can’t help but worry. Matt had a harder time accepting it though, whereas Adam has always been aware of the fact that emotional health is just as important as physical health.  

James: Comes from a wealthy family. He’s a yolo kind of guy and deaf in both ears. He wears hearing aids, but often takes them out because of his dislike for them. It drives Bruce crazy because Bruce doesn’t know ASL (even though after a week or two of James’ constant taking them off, he enrolls in a course just in case).

“You need to wear your aids in case I need to yell at you that you’re in danger”

“Nah I won’t be in danger”


“… well i’m not gonna lie i’m a attractive guy maybe it’s to keep the fangirls from smothering me on accident I’m so popular.”


“oh.. there’s that too.”

In all honestly, James doesn’t wear his aids because he hates having his disability out in the open for everyone to see. He can actually read lips and body language well. James would rather struggle to understand people than to be treated like a fragile invalid.

Bruce: He’s sort of in-between. He’s not a goof-off on the job 100% but he’s not strict and stoic like Matt either. He indulges James and his antics, (secretly because of his man-crush for James). He shows concern for James’ distain towards his aids aside from his angry ranting and yelling at James when he’s being rebellious. James actually finds Bruce’s lecturing to be cute, which only infuriates Bruce more.When Bruce finally begins to understand James’ hatred over hearing aids, he beings to loosen up. We can be 1000% sure that James definitely flirts with Bruce all the time.



He has the temper of a summer storm and when he dances, he is a bluejay balancing on a withering tightrope. He is careful.

“Hey there, pretty boy.” He says. “Interested in a dance?” He says. Clipped wings, he twirls the way teacups spin at carnivals. He smiles like a cheshire and he breaks hearts exactly the way you would expect a sweet faced angel to. His name is sweetheart. His name is darling and sweet cheeks and babydoll. His name is what you pay and his body is a chapel you can defile as long as you have the coin to give. But he owns the melody just as much as he’ll begin to own your heart and he’ll have whatever he wants. And even though he can’t spread his wings of concrete and steel, it’s not so bad.

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TF2Crazy's Follow Forever

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caboos  asked:

If I ever win or get alot of money I'm gonna rent a converntien center for a weekend, buy 10000 pillows and blankets, make a pillow+blanket fort, Call it the Courtney Crawl-Fort and invite you and all your followers :D


holy shit

Tucker: Hey, I found something,
Church: Oh yeah, you found a button?
Tucker: Nah, dude…it’s more like a…switch.
Church: Well, give it a flip!
Tucker: I don’t wanna flip it.
Church: What’s the problem?
Tucker: It’s in a weird place.
Church: Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
Tucker: You flip it!
Church: These arms aren’t that flexible! I can’t even reach down there!
Tucker: What about Caboose?
Church: Oh, man, he’s so stupid! I don’t even know if he knows how to operate a switch.
Tucker: Oh, man…
Church: Oh, Tucker, come on! We’ll laugh about it later. I’ll buy ‘ya dinner.
Tucker: -/click- It won’t move, it’s stuck.
Church:…Did'ja try wiggling it?
Tucker: No way, I’m not wiggling your dongle.
Church: Ohh, stop being a baby! Just wiggle it! … … So, you from around here baby?
Tucker: Okay, look, if you want me to do this, you can’t-
Church: Alright, alright, alright, I’m sorry, I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding.
Tucker:…I wish Tex was here. She wouldn’t have any problem flipping it.
Church: You obviously do not know Tex that well.

-Red vs. Blue, Episode “The Joy of Toggling”