My biggest weakness as a pilot is that I’m not very good at flying aeroplanes. … I’m good enough, like the SIM said, I’m adequate: adequate to the task. But I don’t do it easily, it’s not second nature to me. On your scale of one to ten, if one is the bare minimum of competence, I’m about a four. And I used to be a one – no, I used to be a zero. And then I took my CPL again, and then again, and then I was a one, and then a two, and then a three, and now a four. And I’m not finished yet. And that’s why you should employ me, that’s why you’d be lucky to employ me, because if you’re not naturally good, if you can’t just rely on knowing how to do it like Doug- like some people can, then you have to, well, you have to be a perfectionist, actually. And I am one! And that’s why even when you’ve turned me down, I’m going to keep on applying. Because flying is the perfect job, and I won’t settle for a life where I don’t get to do it!
—  Martin, Cabin Pressure
  • Douglas:So. Martin. What sort of team would your exes make?
  • Martin:What? No team. You know I've never been married.
  • Douglas:What about ex-girlfriends?
  • Martin:I'm not telling you that.
  • Douglas:OK
  • Martin:It's private.
  • Douglas:Absolutely. Forget I asked.
  • Martin:How many people are in a bob-sleigh?
  • Douglas:Four.
  • Martin:Oh.
  • Douglas:There's five in a basketball-team if that helps.
  • Martin:It doesn't.
  • Douglas:Ah. I don't think there's anything with three.
  • Martin:No. There wouldn't be.
  • Douglas:Hang on. I'll look it up.
  • Martin:There's really no need.
  • Douglas:Pétanque!
  • Martin:What?
  • Douglas:There's three players in a Pétanque-team. You know...boules. Like old Frenchmen play.
  • Martin:Go on then.
  • Douglas:What?
  • Martin:I know you only asked me so I'd ask you. What sort of team would your ex-girlfriends be?
  • Douglas:Hm...well. You know the start of the London-marathon?
  • (ETA:from the trascript of the Cabin Pressure episode "Vaduz" at

MARTIN: Actually, I wasn’t being entirely straight with you just now. You see, it’s this damnable sleeping sickness of mine. Normally I control it with a mysterious stimulant from South America but blast it, my supply’s run out. I’m afraid our only hope now is if by some chance someone on board knows how to prepare this stimulant and could—

CAROLYN: Yes, we get the message. Arthur, take Martin his coffee.