what she means:
why is broadway merchandise sO DAMN EXPENSIVE. all i want is something to commemorate me seeing a show that i already spent a shitload of money on, but i can't do that bECAUSE EVERYTHING IS TOO EXPENSIVE.
(I don’t own/ didn’t record these) Also, they’re all on YouTube (if any don’t work, I can probably get a different video for you from somewhere else, just send a message. I have a lot of links) All links working as of 14/06/17
I’ll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die.
Adult life is already so goddamn weird.
Phantom of the Opera:
God can’t hear you.
Dear Evan Hansen:
And I said “no” you know, like a liar.
13 year olds are the meanest people in the world. They will make fun of you but in an accurate way. They’ll be like “Hey, look at that high-waisted man. He got feminine hips.”
West Side Story:
Every new song is about how “Tonight is the night” and how “We only have tonight.” That’s such 19 year old garbage.
Rent: *aggressive push* Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS, I’m new in town.
“Get away from my wife!” “No one talk to my wife!” “I didn’t kill my wife!”
🎶Bread is God is Bread🎶
College is a $120,000 hooker and you are an idiot who fell in love with her. She’s not gonna do anything else for you!
Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken!
Everyone get out of my way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds.
Bonnie and Clyde:
Here’s how easy it was to get away with a bank robbery back in the ‘30’s — as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.
Was there even a ghost, Mother, or was the dead Victorian girl you saw just me all along?
Newsies: I like reading the New York Post because reading the New York Post is like talking to someone who heard the news, and now they’re trying to give you the gist. It’s like, you’d get the same amount of information if you grabbed someone on the street and you were like, “WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?”
Cinderella: My vibe is more like, “Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.”
Hamilton: And then for a second we were like “maybe the horse catcher will catch the horse” and then the horse is like “I have fired the horse catcher”. He can do that?? That shouldn’t be allowed no matter who the horse is. I don’t remember THAT in Hamilton…
Wicked: “Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?”
Fame: That is way better than walking across a stage at graduation, hungover, in a gown, to accept a certificate for reading books that I didn’t read.
A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder: SHUT UP, YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE. STREET SMARTS.
Avenue Q: Sit down, sit down, SIT DOWN. I wanna talk about what happened yesterday. We invite a woman here with homemade puppets to teach you about bullying, through skits, and you laugh at this woman??
Sweeney Todd: “How could another person kill someone? How could a human being kill another human being?” And then I got cheated on, and I was like, “Oh, okay.”
Into the Woods: Some Dutch prick was sneaking in at night being like, “Ah-ha-ha, I take your milk.” And the farmer was like, “Well, then, this is your cow now.” And he was like, “No, no proof of purchase.” And he ran off into the night. That sounded Dutch, right?
the build up to and the final “seeaasonsoFLOOOOOOVE” in “I’ll Cover You (Reprise)” while jesse l martin fucking belTS
the “nATALIE nATALIE nATALIE-"s the company sings along w anatole in "Letters”
natasha richardson’s voice in general BUT ESPECIALLY the instrumental leading up to the second “everybody… they love a WINNER” in “Maybe This Time”
when gavin creel sings the final “TELL ME WHYY” and the tribe goes “FREEDOM” in “Where Do I Go?”
when (any) mimi pitches her voice up while singing “goodbye love- hello, disease” during “Goodbye Love” because?????
the entirety of when andrew rannells and christian borle r singing together in “What Would I Do” but really when they do the “one hour moore-/ one hour more-” and then come together for "one hour-one hour- moOOORE“
when (any) trina sings "they sometimes love but not enough-” and then hits that note on “my hEArt will beat at will, but stiiilll…” in “Trina’s Song”
“maybe he’ll come back today, maybe he came already, and he’s sitting in the drawing room… and I simply forgot.”
when the entire company softly choruses “tiiiiiiiiiime / will they tell your story?” in “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story”
claudia’s “paciencia yfEEEEEEEEE” while the americans sing “you better clean this mess / you better learn ingLES" in "Paciencia y Fe” (and really the entire fucking song end my life olga merediz)
when (any) wendla reprises “i beliiive” while (any) moritz is singing “another dream / another love you’ll hold” during “Those You’ve Known”
i know there’s more im not thinking of right now ADD MORE
Phantom of the Opera: A speculative fiction about what would happen if Benedict Cumberbatch were a woman and his fans had access to a basement.
Hamilton: The best friend of an ambitious political dissident warns him repeatedly that his actions will end in tragedy. When that doesn’t actually happen, the best friend takes it upon himself to teach a valuable life lesson.
Jesus Christ Superstar: The best friend of an ambitious political dissident warns him repeatedly that his actions will end in tragedy. When that doesn’t actually happen, the best friend takes it upon himself to teach a valuable life lesson.
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: Tim Gunn was sick today on Project Runway. Let’s see what happens!
Miss Saigon: White savior done fucked up. No one is surprised.
The Scarlet Pimpernel: Proto-superhero pretends to be gay. Wife is understandably miffed when she discovers she won’t be getting the D. Hilarity ensues.
The Lion King: A Shakespearean look at a pride of liMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSAAAAAWENYAAAAAAMAAKALAKIIIIIIIIIIIISSHUENOOONOOOOOOO
Chicago: He really did have it coming.
Cabaret: A Conservative Republican’s worst nightmare is set to music.
Cats: Furries provide a fun-filled look into an average night out.
Rent: All these people are going to die the minute you leave the theater.
Avenue Q: Today on Sesame Street, we learn an important lesson about the purpose of the internet. The word of the day is ANAL.
Les Miserables: A man steals a loaf of bread and is chased across France by the most dedicated police officer on the force. Consequently, everyone dies.
My Fair Lady: A valuable life lesson is taught: if you want to make it in life, all you need to do is sacrifice everything, suffer torment from an obsessive linguistics major, and fake an upper-class English accent. Unless you’re a man, and then you just need to explain that you really need money for alcohol. In that case, someone will promptly die and will you their fortune.
How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying: A young man attempts to push the boundaries of white male privilege. He soon finds there are none.
Sweeney Todd: A barber and his girlfriend take Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” a little too far.
Contraltos are the lowest female singers commonly heard. Unlike their male counterparts (the basses), however, roles for altos are a bit more common, especially in rock musicals. In more traditional pieces, altos are frequently middle-aged leading women, though some of those are mezzos as well. The only role demographic altos have a firm hold over is for women over sixty - which in most shows means grandmothers. In the rare case that there is a female villain in a show, she will probably be an alto.