CSAs

Being abused made me such a “good kid.”

I was

  • Always polite
  • Never acted without permission
  • Never spoke out of turn
  • Always did what I was told

And it’s shitty that I was considered mature and praised for those things, and all of those characteristics have translated into me being an immature, “bad adult.”

Now I

  • Have difficulty making a keeping friends
  • Can’t act without permission/am dependent on others for direction
  • Am terrible at communicating
  • Have no agency/personal compass

It’s a really difficult thing for people who were abused as children to grapple with.
What made us good children make us bad adults.

Warning for the 2017 IT movie

I haven’t seen any posts about this, so I would appreciate it if y'all could share this so people are prepared when they see the movie. This is a bit of a minor spoiler, but it’s important to sexual abuse survivors and child sexual abuse survivors. In the movie, a young female character is approached by her father and he makes some advances towards her, but this is initially deflected. Later in the movie, the third time the father is featured, there is an extremely triggering scene where the father becomes enraged when she refused to let him take advantage of her anymore and he grabs her by the ankles and attempts to assault her. He doesn’t succeed, but this scene was enough that I had a panic attack in the theater and I wish I was warned about this before I saw the movie. PLEASE spread this around so people are prepared for this when they see this movie. Just to reiterate, this is the third time the father is featured in the movie, right after the kids escape the house.

Y'all know that Benjamin Alire Sáenz is a 62 year old man who came out when he was 54 after coming to terms with his childhood sexual abuse and exploring his sexuality through writing LGBT themes in his novels? ​I’m so proud of him and happy that he’s gotten to this point in his life no matter how long it took. I love him so much, he’s my inspiration.

okay, here is a thing: some people that suffered from abuse can’t remember every detail about it and sometimes they will remember it gradually during their life. if they tell you different stories about the same thing, don’t just judge them. if they tell you they forgot about things, trust them. if they tell you they just remembered something about the abuse, trust them.

To all my precious underaged followers:

- If a grown ass adult asks you for sexual favors (this includes virtual stuff like sending nudes)- tell a trusted adult to call the police on their ass

- If a grown ass adult approaches you and puts their hands on you in a sexual manner- punch that fucker square in the face and tell a trusted adult to call the police on their ass

- If a grown ass adult is making you uncomfortable with sexualized commentary- tell a trusted adult to call the police on their ass

- If a grown ass adult argues “oh but you’re so beautifully mature for your age!” and consistently tries to manipulate you into unwanted sexual scenarios- tell a trusted adult to call the police on their ass

- If you have a bad feeling a grown ass adult is watching you/following you home/taking unconsenting pictures of you- run the fuck away, don’t be subtle. Seriously. Scream, make a fucking scene so that creeper knows they’ve been caught, and then tell a trusted nearby adult to call the police. Go into any local stores or businesses if you have to. This one might actually save your life.

- If your underaged friend is in an unhealthy relationship with a pedophile and refuses to tell someone out of manipulation, desire, or fear- tell a trusted adult to call the police on their ass

DO NOT EVER BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT FOR HELP WHEN YOU FEEL THREATENED BY A PEDOPHILE. THERE’S NO SHAME AT ALL IN ASKING FOR HELP. I WILL BE SO PROUD OF YOU FOR BEING BRAVE AND STAYING SAFE IF YOU DO. THERE ARE TOO MANY PREDATORS AND CSA SURVIVORS OUT THERE FOR YOU TO TAKE THIS MESSAGE LIGHTLY. THIS IS NOT AN OPTION. I AM TELLING YOU IF YOU ARE EVER IN THE SITUATIONS LISTED ABOVE, THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. FIND A SAFE ENVIRONMENT AND TELL SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST BEFORE THAT AWFUL CREEP ENDS UP HURTING YOU OR SOME OTHER PRECIOUS KID OUT THERE. KEEP KIDS SAFE BY PUTTING THESE SICKOS BEHIND BARS!