CRAP-BAG

NHL Bitty, Part II - Bitty v. Jack: Chirping

They live apart three-quarters of the year, their physical sex life is basically nonexistent, so Jack and Bitty have a lot of pent up energy and bring all of their problems to the ice because where else are they going to hash things out? It’s a good thing they don’t play each other often, because every Falconers v. Schooners game is a nightmare of awkward chirps, agressive hugging and sexual innuendo. It’s like the worst form of couples therapy imaginable. ESPN stops putting mics on them because they can’t edit enough out to make it appropriate.

___________

Bitty skates by, obviously furious at the call, but instead of turning on the linesman he hones in on Jack, snarling, “Seriously, a Ferrari? Trying to score some 80s side-action? I thought your whole thing was proving you aren’t your father.”

Bitty gets right up against him, pressing in tight but not moving to drop his gloves or grab at Jack’s jersey. They both know exactly what this is, and Jack pushes down the reflexive spike of want, grinning around his mouth guard.

“That’s rich coming from you – could you have purchased larger truck? Compensating for something, Itty Bitty?”

Bitty spits out his mouth guard. “After we kick your fucking ass, I’m going to take you home and remind you how ‘itty bitty’ I am.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time–”

“Enough. Save foreplay for bedroom.” Tater groans, yanking Jack away from his husband. 

Jack yells, “Are we still fighting?”

“Yes!” Bitty shouts, skating backwards to his own bench. “I hate your new publicist and fuck you for approving that photo where it looks like I have two chins.”

“Fight or fuck. You do neither and ruin both.” Tater mutters over the roar of the crowd. “How you married I do not understand.”

“We only play each other a few times a year. If we get all the tough shit out when we play, we can leave it on the ice.”

From across the ice, Bitty mouths ‘love you’ and Jack blows a kiss in return. Tater gags loudly. 

“That is not what ‘leave it on the ice’ supposed to mean, Zimmboni.”

It’s Your Daddy’s Birthday, Sweetie

Summary: It’s Sam’s birthday and your daughter and her uncle have a surprise for him
Words: 1k
Sam x Reader, Dean, Katie (OC)
Warnings: fluffs

Daddy!Sam ‘Verse - Masterpost

Kisses pressed to the knob of your spine and across your shoulder roused you from your peaceful sleep.

You hummed contentedly, letting your eyes flutter open to take in the dim light of your bedroom in the morning, the small windows at the top of your walls doing their best to let natural light flood the room.

“Happy Birthday, babe,” you murmured as Sam rolled you onto your back, kissing your exposed collarbone. “You’re old, now.”

He laughed softly, pulling back and smiling down at you.

Keep reading

Okay story time !

So last Saturday I got a message from Taylor Nation asking me if I was interested in going to a secret confidential event. (UH YES) so they then contacted me the next day saying that they are holding an event in Rhode Island and I was freaking out. I was like omg what is it gonna be. A secret session ??? Am I gonna finally meet taylor after 10 years ???

So the wait was torture. Me and my friend woke up at 6 Wednesday morning and got on the road by 8 so we would make it to Rhode Island in time to get ready and mentally prepare ourselves for what’s to come. We got to the hotel early. Checked in and we were freaking out so we decieded to get ready early even tho we still had three hours to go lol

We finally leave and met at the meeting spot. Checked in and one of the workers for taylor nation recognized me and I started to cry all ready. “Didn’t you have blonde curly hair??” Yes I did. A week ago lol but I went back to my dark hair.

So they then put us on the bus and we waited for about 2 hours. We talked to some people became friends and just freaked out together. We finally got going and we were going to Taylor’s house. At that moment it still didn’t hit me that I was going to be with Taylor.


So we get to Taylor’s house and we eat some chicken nugs and pizza. Her dad is handing out guitar picks !!!!! And her mom came down to hug us and Austin came down to talk to us. We were then escorted to her living room. Me and my friend got front row. We basically could have sat on Taylor’s feet.

Taylor finally walked in and that’s when I losted it and was non stop crying. Like she’s beautiful in person. We then proceeded to listen to the album and every so often she would make eye contact with me and hold it for a while and I just died. She always would talk to some of us and I said to my friend after one of the songs how amazing it was and she was like “you really think it was amazing ?” And I was like uh yes it’s sooooo good. And she was like “ omg thank you so much “ I cried again.


Then we finished listening to the album and hung out with her for a little and then the meet and greets happened. I walked up to her and gave her a big hug and she goes “You’re Jackie right?” And I completely lost it. And she hugged my friend and then we started a conversation on my name lol and then I was like “okay listen. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety and you have helped me so much.” And she cut me off to say “omg I’m so sorry to hear that. I have a lot friends that struggle with that and I have my own bag of crap. “ and then “I was like no like you saved my life taylor. Like I been thinking about ending my life but then I think about how you would not want me to and how I need to be here for you” and she goes “I would never forgive you if you did something to yourself and nethiwr would your friend here. You are so special and so special to me. I love you so much. I can’t wait to see you grow into an even more beautiful person.” And she said other stuff but like I was bawling and I don’t remember lol

So then we took our pictures and like I died. And before we left I hugged her one last time and I said “thank you. I love you so much.” And she goes “ I love you so much too”.

And here I am laying in bed crying writing this. Taylor really did save my life. And I really hope you all get to meet her. @taylorswift

So You want a slave like me?

Men read about my beliefs and attitudes and ask me where They can get a female or slave like me.  Guess, what?  You can’t.

i am not a ready-made commodity You can pick off a shelf at Kmart or Wallmart.  i am someone who evolved over time.  To get a slave like me, You need to find someone like who i was 10 years ago and be willing to put in the time and energy to help her evolve into someone like me, or someone not like me, as suits You.

i did not start out here, i ended up here.  And the well kept secret is, 9 out of 10 submissives, deep down want to end up here as well.  They want to be able to say ‘yes’ to everything You ask because they have come to know and trust You that deeply.  They want to lay on the floor at Your feet, with Your foot on their neck and just surrender to melting into the floor and being.  They want to be all of everything to You, in every way You could ever want and more.

But that is not how they will turn up to meet You.  Even i don’t turn up to meet someone that way.  They will hold it back, keep it hidden because they need to trust You first.

As for someone like me, i have fought personal battles.  i have been through hell and back and brought a truck load of crap with me.  i have scars You cannot see and more hidden mines than a rice field in Vietnam.  

For me to kneel at someone’s feet, i need to know You are stronger than i am, because i’ve carried that crap around a long time, i’m very strong myself.  i’ve worked through some, am working through some and am yet to discover what some of it might be.  i need to know You can handle whatever i can throw at You because i don’t know what i have to throw.  i need to be able to open my bag of crap for You to see inside and know You won’t look at me horrified and run away.  i need to know You can handle it.

A female is not vulnerable when she lies naked.  She is not vulnerable when she is lies tied and naked.  A female is vulnerable when she opens that bag of crap and lets You look inside.

Can You handle all that?  Can You look in my bag and not shudder?  Can You not only accept i have that bag, but take it from me and still find me acceptable?  

That is what all submissives secretly desire.  That is what will get You a devoted, loving submissive or slave.

Burned: Arrow 5x15 Review (Fighting Fire with Fire)

So sorry my friends! I have slept. I am medicated. Thus I can write.

Oh Episode 15. You have become the season nemesis. The pebble in our proverbial audience shoe. The yucky chocolate filling in the otherwise yummy chocolate box.

Arrow has begun a tradition over the past three seasons. The 15th episode is filled with a whole lot of suck. I’m excluding 1x15 and 2x15 because I happened to really enjoy those episodes, but 5x15 can go sit in the corner with 3x15 and 4x15. Now, is it Felicity banging Palmer level? 

Or Felicity breaking up with Oliver level? 

Eh. Depends on your perspective. Those were very low lows. Maybe I’ll just leave 5x15 on par with those episodes.

The good news is, 3x15 and 4x15 were a bottoming out of sorts. We said to ourselves, “Arrow can’t get much crappier that this!” and, for the most part, we were right. There was an upswing as Arrow headed into the back half of the season.

Why is it like this? I don’t know. Arrow hits this wall around the 11-15 range almost every single season. There’s a lull and we run into a series of episodes we could seriously do without. 

I don’t think Arrow intends to write a crappy episode. I think they try very hard to make excellent TV every week. The problem is the 23 episode season, and maybe this is why I’m a big “smeh.” I fully expect a third crap, a third good, and a third excellent every season. Typically, that’s what I get. So, I toss this episode into my one third crap pile, grab another bag of chips and write the review.

Cause we gots to talk about why "Fighting Fire with Fire” was a whole lotta suck. We shall address the suck with a copious amounts of gifs, because I’m in. I’m not changing the channel. I’m too invested. You jump I jump Arrow

So, when eps like these come along, I just have to laugh, vent, and have some fun with it. But never fear! I do see rainbows on the horizon. There’s yummy chocolate in this box somewhere. 

Let’s dig in…

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flattering imitation or copying?

aka “where’s that line?”

There is a very clear line between being INSPIRED by someone, and PLAGIARIZING them. While this usually is used when describing WRITING, on a place like tumblr where people are creating their accounts and putting time and energy into URLs, icons, format, tagging style, “aesthetic,” and writing, it can lead to a lot of people not realizing where the line is to be considered COPYING

  1. IT IS NOT JUST WRITING. Regardless of whether you just imitate someone’s aesthetic; whether by creating your own theme which is remarkably similar or simply taking the theme a person has already made, copying in tumblr writing and RP does not stop when someone hits “publish.” A good rule of thumb when wondering if you’re inspired by a person, or copying the person, is to ask yourself this question: is this thing I like canon, or is it unique to this blog? Headcanons, graphics, URLs, formats in writing, tags, alternative FCs… these are all things that can make a person feel much less than flattered when they realize that the work they have put into making these decisions were lifted by another person. 
  2. “IMITATION IS THE MOST SINCERE FORM OF FLATTERY” This phrase was never, ever meant to mean “it is okay to take someone’s hard work because it means you like it.” One of the earliest examples of this phrase was talking about RELIGION and how mankind should work to resemble divinity. It was about generally NOT BEING A DICK. And, another earlier example of this phrase is : imitation is a kind of artless flattery. This flatters no one. 
  3. HOW DO I KNOW IF IT’S OKAY OR NOT: If it is general canon, you are not taking from a blog, even if they posted the headcanon first. If you have a URL that is generally similar but it comes from canon, then you’re not taking from that blog. 
    1. If someone has a URL for a popular character that you like but it is not something that was said by that character, about that character, or is generally something that would be taken from canon, then it would probably not be seen as being very flattering. 
    2. If someone has a very specific icon style that is not something that is generally seen ( aka it’s not something generally basic like a square or circle with a watermark ), then using something remarkably similar would likely be seen as copying, and not flattering. 
    3. If someone has a very specific AU verse that they developed; or they use a very specific alternative FC who you’ve never seen used in that way before, then ASK before making your own version of this. This does NOT include things that can be easily diverged from canon ( example: I have a verse where Kol is put into a different body instead of going to the Ancestral Plane. Anyone can use a body jumper verse, but if someone started using the exact same plot points that I made up, then it would cross from “being inspired by canon” to “directly copying me” )
  4. ALWAYS, ALWAYS ASK. If you like something about a blog and it inspires you on your own blog, A S K that person. A lot of people don’t like doing this because they know they’re going to be told NO if something is too close to that other person’s heart. Use this as a CHALLENGE to create something that you are still excited about, but is entirely original to you and your blog! Whether it is a writing style, word choice, URL, theme, or general aesthetic: keep the general rule in mind that if it’s not actual canon, then that person will likely feel like a bag of crap when they see their work being claimed by someone else

And always, ALWAYS remember that this is not a competition, nor is writing on here a zero-sum game. You do not need to copy someone because you think that is how you will be noticed. You will be noticed, for sure–––– but definitely not in the way you wanted! Be inspired and encouraged by other people, and you’ll find yourself having so much fun on here, you won’t have time to think about using the work of someone else. 

The Bodyguard

A Bucky Barnes Adventure

Hey guys! This is an excerpt from the fic I’m currently working on. Dre has been squealing over it, so I thought I’d give you all a sneak peek. It’s going to be an Avengers AU, setting is a little different, but I think you’ll like it. 

So, have a read, let me know if you want on the tag list. It will be a few weeks yet before it comes out though, so no rush.


Her heels clicked loudly in the empty parking garage as she dug for her keys. Such was the bane of carrying a large bag. While it gave her the space she needed to put in everything that may be required in the course of a day, it made it virtually impossible to find shit all, especially something small like her keys.

Cursing quietly, Penelope - Penny - Rogers set her briefcase down with a thump and dropped to her knees six cars away from her practical black sedan where she upended the bag on the concrete. Thankfully it was late and there was no one around to witness her less than elegant search through the pile of junk in her purse.

Lipstick. Mascara. Pens, pens, and more pens.

One would think she would be able to find a pen when she needed it, but not so much.

A half finished package of cough drops had broken open and come unwrapped, sticking to everything and anything in a nasty mess. Notebook, notebook, smaller notebook. Cell phone, backup cell phone - the one she used to call Steve when she needed to speak to her brother directly. A wad of tissues was shoved back in the bag. Three tampons in colorful packaging which, really, weren’t fooling anyone.

What did the manufacturer’s think, if they made them pretty men wouldn’t know what those long narrow wrappers actually contained? 

Penny rolled her eyes at the stupidity.

Stuffing her portable umbrella back in the bag, she damn near shouted for joy when the jangle of keys rattled beneath it. Scooping the rest of her crap back in her bag, she snatched her keys from the ground and was on her way back to her feet when she clicked the auto start by accident.

The car growled to life, the sound noticeably odd to her, right before the vehicle exploded in a fireball of metal and flames.

Ears ringing, Penny stared at the roof of the parking garage, smoke beginning to billow, burn her eyes and choke her lungs. Coughing, she rolled to her side, assessing her injuries like Steve had taught her. Her head hurt, her back on the left and elbow on the same side, but other than the thumping of her skull she appeared relatively unscathed for someone who’d nearly blown up.

Dear god… she’d nearly blown up.

anonymous asked:

I had a line up in my store, and some chick was rearranging crap in her bag instead of paying so I said the price again to encourage her to hurry the fuck up and she was like "Just be patient." and moved her shit around slowly and then decided to finally pay. You don't tell a cashier to "be patient" during a rush! Move your ass!! If you have extra change say so before I punch in the total!