COUTURE REPORT

Gala Magazine Germany, Issue 13 July 2017. Report from the Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2017 shows. Maison Margiela Artisanal by John Galliano, details of Look 17.

(Scanned from the magazine)

Joe Thornton may not own a rooster at all

Who could forget when Joe Thornton, former captain to the San Jose Sharks, claimed that if he scored four goals he’d have his “cock out stroking it.” But the reporters here at NHL News Desk has received some disappointing news that “Jumbo” Joe might not own a rooster at all. 

The players from the We-Almost-Swept-The-Kings Sharks had a lot to say about this development.

“Do you…do you seriously think he meant rooster?” Logan Couture said giving our reporter a worried look, “how old are you?" 

The star that prompted the original statement, Tomas Hertl, was quick to jump in, "even I know what he meant.”

One player even suggested this isn’t the first thing Thornton lied about. Brenden Dillon, formerly of the stars, pulled our reporter aside to speak in private. 

“I never trusted that guy” He said, “You ever see that episode of spongebob where they try to prove if Mr. Krabs is a robot, well i ran the same tests and i can conclude that he is not a real person." 

To anyone planning on going to see a Sharks game, us here at the NHL News Desk ask you to precede with caution. It seems you never truly know a person.