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Still Waters - Taboo Fan Fic: Chapter 8

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*Special thanks to @thihaf for all my editing and is it it too soon for them to f*ck  needs!  :)

STILL WATERS - CHAPTER 8

When Lorna reached the upper deck of the ship only a few crew were present, diligently engrossed in their labours.  Descending the galley stairs she made her way to the kitchen mess.  As she drew closer, a familiar low grunt could be heard and her heart clenched within her chest.  Entering the kitchen area, she noticed several of the crew had already gathered around the numerous tables for the breakfast meal.  Atticus, French Bill, Godfrey and Cholmondeley sat at the Captain’s Table… and there at the head sat James; his eyes downcast.   Her entrance caused a hush to come over the room, as each head turned from her, to where James head suddenly snapped up – as if he had felt her presence.  His eyes commenced a slow perusal over her entire form, while she stood silent beneath the force of his gaze. 

When their eyes met, the breath was stolen from her body and the heat from her skin; as if they would cross the space between them and melt into his own form.   Her brain did not seem capable of forming a thought, other than how to erase the ground between them.  James face betrayed no emotion other than his steady regard of her.  Though within, the urge to touch her screamed from every atom; threatening to tear themselves apart just for the chance to be close to her.   In the presence of so many it was necessary to put a stopper on the emotions swirling inside; bottling them up to be savored at a later time.   Gathering herself she nodded to the gentlemen and took a seat at the opposite end of the table, before her eyes lifted to James once more; taking note of a new cut along the brow of his left eye.   His gaze had never left her and a loose grin now played about the stubble on his chin.   The tension seeped from their bodies, saturating the room in unspoken need,  and more than a few throats were cleared amidst the heavy silence.  They were saved by the arrival of the meal and all were grateful for the jovial and witty banter between Atticus and Cholmondeley to save them from the charged air that encompassed the space.   It was with some relief the others finished eating and had escaped the small space err the sound of the chairs scraping upon the wood had ceased.

Their eyes held each other across the length of the wooden table.  He could see something of her spirit dancing in those warm pools.  It came to mind what a loss it would be should it ever be extinguished, and more to the point, should he be the one to do so.   He used to think it was the crooked smile that was now flashing at him that he loved the most, but now he thought it might just be looking into her eyes that he had missed so much.  A silent connection of soul’s sharing.   She chewed her bottom lip before breaking the silence.

“How did your business fare?”

James set down his cup, gesturing to the chair beside him while his tone traveled towards her deep and low, “Why don’t you come sit here and I will tell you all about it?”

Smiling, she settled in the seat beside him, their knees grazing beneath the worn and scratched surface.  Concern clouded her eyes as she reached up to touch his latest injury and James didn’t flinch at her touch.   Instead they leaned close to one another while he recounted the events of the past days.  To anyone passing by, the gentle gaze of their eyes and the relaxed nature of their features bore witness to how their communication was a comfort to one another.   The power of words to draw close and open hearts – all balanced on the simple, but oft forgotten act of someone listening.  When they left the ships’ mess area, it wasn’t only Lorna that felt the weight of James hand resting on her lower back as he escorted her from the room.

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Nothing scares Tony more than the fact that when he looks at Peter, he sees a little too much of himself. 

Reckless. Eager to please. Willing to put himself on the line. All things that Tony is more than familiar with. Every time he puts on the suit, he’s reminded of this, of why he puts on the suit in the first place–to keep people safe, to try to make up for the people that he couldn’t keep safe. The headcount is far too high, too many people lost, too many he couldn’t save, too many lives that were ruined because he wasn’t stronger or didn’t get there fast enough. 

Peter is a kid. He doesn’t have this hanging over his head like Tony does, and Tony doesn’t want him to. 

“I was trying to be like you,” Peter says, in that desperate way people say things when they are just trying so, so hard to do the right thing. Tony’s heart clenches in his chest. 

“I wanted you to be better,” he says, and the words choke him. Be better than me, he thinks. You don’t want lead-heavy baggage dragging along behind you with every step. 

Peter is young, he wants to make something of himself. He wants to help. Tony is inordinately proud of him–more proud than is probably normal, why does he care so much about this kid?–but more than that, he’s scared for him. 

At the end of the day, Tony knows better than anyone that he can’t protect Peter from himself. 

Evermore is the most gorgeous song that rips your heart out and makes you feel all the FEELS!!

- Josh Groban’s version is absolutely wonderful 

- I literally can’t comprehend how he stole an angels voice and made it even better 

- You can really appreciate the depth and strength of his voice like damn 

- I get Phantom of the Opera vibes and can totally see the song in both 

- Thank you my enchanting siren 

BUT HEAR DAN STEVENS VERSION WITNESS OUR BEAST SING 

- This one literally makes me clench my heart in pain 

- At the end of the song I’m on the verge of tears 

- You can truly feel how much she has affected him and he can never let her go inside his heart 

- But he does because he is selfless as fuck and wants her happiness before anyone’s 

- It just has so much emotion especially the last lyrics like I’m bawling just writing this 

- Forever in love with you my Beauty 

- READ THESE DAMN LYRICS AND LISTEN TO THE SONG SO YOU CAN FEEL YOUR HEART BREAK!  

I was the one who had it all
I was the master of my fate
I never needed anybody in my life
I learned the truth too late


I’ll never shake away the pain
I close my eyes but she’s still there
I let her steal into my melancholy heart
It’s more than I can bear


Now I know she’ll never leave me
Even as she runs away
She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me
Move me, come what may


Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I’ll fool myself she’ll walk right in
And be with me for evermore


I rage against the trials of love
I curse the fading of the light
Though she’s already flown so far beyond my reach
She’s never out of sight


Now I know she’ll never leave me
Even as she fades from view
She will still inpire me, be a part of
Everything I do


Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I’ll fool myself she’ll walk right in

And as the long, long nights begin
I’ll think of all that might have been
Waiting here for evermore!

Originally posted by partofyourtaleasoldastime

Originally posted by poissonxquad

often we say “I love you” with one eye opened and teeth touching
we say “i love you” like it is just brushing off of our face
we say it with clenched fists and broken hearts, noses, and lives
we say it with a twisted mind and a soul that is too tired to ever live by. we say it with hands that are too small for something we could have and too big for something that we couldn’t.
we say it abruptly, spontaneously and often we say it with minds hovering around the idea that this, this love we claim to have will end every drop of misery in our lives.

but darling, this is not the kind of love you are supposed to have.

a friend once told me that loving comes from within as how the sun slowly engulfs the darkness, eating away every bit of that pitch black it had harbored inside; only realizing at the end of the day that it had not really touched it, a mere brush, a peck on the cheek
that it will come back again by six in the evening
it will come back
it comes back
definitely
sometimes with scattered showers
and it will drench your feet and drown you
until you gasp for air, trying to breathe
trying
try
you did try and
that’s when you thought of his smile that you love more than the cherry topped chocolate cupcake made by your mom everytime you turn a year old, that’s when you value him more than the poster of Winona Ryder with one hand on her hips and the other pointed at you as if she’s telling you that darling this is how you define beauty, that’s when you thought that your playlist had turned into this set of songs trapped inside your crooked heart due to continuous rambling writing and
falling
you fall
slowly
like how leaves do before November
kisses our earthly ground
dear
this, this is not the kind of love youre supposed to have

you deserve the kind of love
you give and more than that
you deserve the love that surpasses
and transcends everything,
you deserve a deep, immense and immeasurable kind of love
you deserve a love that’s not too much or too little, just enough so you could
sleep on it at nights you thought darkness could eat you
darling you deserve the kind of love that would let you dream
peacefully under your sheets
you deserve love more than that “love” you think you deserve
because you are
amiable
brave
truer than true
unparalleled
a
stunning
creation of God

you deseve a love more than words could describe
i know you do
so go and stay alive beautiful,
keep marching
keep running
keep breathing.
Not one boy,
Not one mistake,
No rules
could hold you back.

You deserve more.

—  retrouvailleset 
4

No, Jane. Listen to me. You must not give up. You must finish what you’ve started. Why? Because you’re right.

I
I will never talk to you again or touch you again
and that is okay because each are equally painful 
but sometimes I wonder if they would hurt a little less than this pulsing ache in my heart
and clenched jaws in your presence.

II
for you have reignited something inside of me and I can’t help but hate you for it
so please don’t drunkenly text me
because even if its meaningless chatter
the absence of it in the weeks to follow echoes a familiar pain through me
as we recommence our little game
where we pretend that we haven’t spent moments together
which were tender enough to soften the hardness inside of me

III
and I know, the fucked up part is that we were never going to work
and yet now I cannot help but cry a little when I think of what we had
and the way that we will never have it again 
 
IV
and so I am sad and cold
and it is so tempting to hide behind bones and scars and never feel the weight
of a thousand broken heartbeats reverberating through me as my tears draw my failures
but I am still painfully loyal to something that doesn’t exist  
so trust me to make a fuckery of something that could have been wonderful.
I would I would I would.

V
no one ever told me that every kiss I would see
would feel like I’m touching your lips all over again 
and no one told me  that every kiss would punch me in the gut and instantaneous tears would collect in my swollen eyes
don’t you dare tell me heartbreak is beautiful.

—  we won’t talk again and that hurts a little bit 
[ lots of love, yoonoh ] ✧ jung jaehyun

pairing: jaehyun x reader

genre: angst

word count: 679

about: she finds a box of letters underneath her bed and decides to read them. Turns out her they were all addressed to her, and the last one was dated the day he moved out.

note:  unedited why do i do this to myself / listen to ‘and i’m here’ by kim kyunghee for maximum angst. Also, let me know if you guys want a part 2, enjoy!

“You were like a dream, and I wish I hadn’t slept through.”

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Imagine Daycare Teacher! Izuku and Single Hero Dad! Bakugou

ALSO KNOWN AS THE BAKUDAD AU

A good wholesome AU where Izuku decides that the best way he can be a hero for the people is to be the best mentor/teacher™ to all kids at this Daycare like #1 Big Brother! Being a daycare teacher gives him an oppurtunity to help anyone and everyone he can, especially the children! These kiddos either call him Izu-nii or Izu-sensei.

In this universe, Bakugou has a child. The origin of the mother is unknown (I’d like to say she died from childbirth because I’m a cruel person). As a single father, he is forced to raise his child until they are old enough to go to day care which gives him the perfect opportunity to drop them off so he can go back to his hero duties (he took a maternal leave aaa).

Bakugou’s child becomes super attached to Izuku and these two hit off really well. (At some point, like any kid would, he declares to be Izuku’s future spouse while the daycare teacher laughs it off). For the the first few months, Bakugou grows curious whenever his child talks about (more like GUSHES) about this “Izu-nii”. Then that curiosity turns into jealousy because fUCK THAT GUY I WILL BE MY CHILD’S NUMBER ONE. 

One day when Bakgou is picking up, he asks to meet “Izu-nii” only to come face-to-face with Izuku. Suddenly years of GUILT AND PAIN drop on Bakugou.

From that point, it’ll be Izuku and Bakugou’s journey toward reconciliation!

Izuku is super wary and un-trusting of Bakugou at first, but he’ll soften up eventually!