Calls Me Home


It was late at night, or early in the morning as one might say. Newt was cuddled up next to Lexi in their bed when he heard the cry of a baby in the next room over. His heart broke and he gently pulled away from Lexi, careful not to wake her.

Newt crept across the hall and opened the door to their son’s nursery. “Sh, I’m here. It’s okay. We wouldn’t want to wake the mummy, she’s very tired.“ He cooed and gently picked the baby up. The wizard sat down in a rocking chair close to the crib and started softly humming. It didn’t seem to help so Newt started to quietly sing.

“I‘m coming home
To breathe again,
To start again

I’m coming home
From all the places
I have been

With nothing
But a voice within
That calls me…
Calls me home”

Newt smiled softly as the baby calmed and stared up at him with Lexi’s emerald eyes.

I would have told Hosea to leave her. 

No one should have to hold on, I’d say, to a heart that doesn’t want them back.

No one deserves a straying soul, a fleeting kiss, someone who devotes themselves more to the dirt than ever to him. 

There are better women with less stains on their clothes, I’d convince him, they will love you like you deserve.

You shouldn’t have to crucify your sainthood for the sake of her.

I would have told Hosea to leave her. But I’m glad he wouldn’t have listened.

Because, how many times have I deserved to be forsaken? How long have I fought off my destiny of being loved unconditionally?

Since my first breath, born with clenched fists, I’ve lived half in the shadows, half in my idols, half in the worth I find by giving myself away to temporary places. 

How many times have I been an imperfect bride?

I’m a goner, I’m Gomer, and I would have left me a long time ago. But instead of moving on, God never did, for His grace covers me more than my mistakes ever could.


the ultimate unrequited love - Christina Hopp

a poem from my book The Morning After Relapse