So I think it’s time this fandom had a sit-down and talked some things out. Today’s topic: ableism. Before all of y’all start jumping on me and dismissing me and trying to say I have no right to talk about this, let me tell you a bit about myself.
I was born with spina bifida. For those of you that don’t know that is, it’s when a baby’s spinal chord and nerves don’t develop properly. I had my first surgery to help this condition when I was eight days old. The excess amount of scar tissue in my lower back had begun to wrap around my spinal chord, which for obvious reasons is dangerous. I had the same surgery when I was four years old, and that’s when my life changed forever. I’d been able to walk before using a leg brace, but due to a mistake by the surgeon, my left leg was left paralyzed. I was a normal (and I hate using the word normal here, normal is an absolutely useless construct of society, but for lack of a better word at the moment, bear with me) kid, mobile and able to move around as I pleased, and then I couldn’t. I’ve been using a wheelchair since then. I’m not telling you guys this because I want pity. I don’t. I’ve accepted it as part of my life, and I love myself just the way I am. This little explanation is here so you guys can understand exactly where I’m coming from when you read the rest of this post. So with all this in mind, here goes my not-so-little rant.
DISCLAIMER: I will be calling people out in this post and tagging them because I am done. 1000%, completely fucking done with this fandom. And if this causes a shitstorm, fuck it, because this needs to be said and this fandom needs to learn to stop being hypocritical pieces of crap.
I love these books. I love Sarah’s writing in general, and I would read literally anything she wrote. These books, Aelin’s story, Feyre’s story, are so important to me. I don’t have words to describe how much they mean to me. I love talking about them and healthy and constructive conversations about them. And some of the jokes that have been made by the fandom are some of favorites. I’ve made some of them myself. I’ll joke alongside all of you about wingspans and gold nightgowns for as long as you want.
I want to make something perfectly clear: this rant is in no way a reflection of my thoughts about her books. This post is exclusively about the fandom’s disgusting behavior.
So let’s start with this post that I saw earlier.
Disability is not kinky.
For those of you that can’t understand that, let me repeat it.
Disability is not kinky.
DISABILITY. IS. NOT. KINKY.
This whole post is horrifyingly ableist. And before you guys start claiming that “I have disabled relatives, I can’t be ableist!” (@rowan-stole-my-heart, I’m looking at you. Remember that conversation last year? Nice to know you’re still disgusting), that’s like saying “I have African-American friends, therefore I can’t be racist!”, which is such an inherently flawed line of arguing that it would require a whole other post to address, so I’ll just say don’t try it. I can’t even begin to fathom the mental process all of these people went through to think that this was even remotely acceptable in any way, shape, or form, so let me break this down and explain to you why this isn’t.
This, my horrifyingly inconsiderate friends, is a form of fetishism. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fetishism is the pathological displacement of erotic interest and satisfaction to a fetish. Now that you know what that is, let’s move on.
This whole fandom has been complaining about a lack of diversity in Sarah’s books since I joined the fandom. Diversity doesn’t just mean POC, which is exactly what this fandom conveniently forgets. Diversity includes POC, people with mental illness, people with physical disability, LGBT+ people, and so much more. And when Sarah finally adds someone who embodies a slice of that diversity, you all have the gall to reduce his situation to sex jokes. All I can say is how dare you.How dare you reduce someone’s life and reality to a kink, to something to be made fun of, to something that spices up your dash and makes it NSFW just because you wanted to make fun of a book cover you probably weren’t satisfied with. In doing so you are insulting the thousands upon thousands of people that are in the same situation. You’re reducing them – reducing me – to a fantasy that you can use and then dismiss the next moment, without regard for anyone’s feelings. Do you have any idea how difficult of a topic sex is for people with disabilities? We are laughed at for wanting sex. Our anxiety when it comes to that is ten times that of any able-bodied person, simply because we don’t fit into the box that society wants to shove everyone into. And you’re making it that much worse because you have the audacity to think the fact that someone can’t move their legs is funny.
It hurts. Reading that post hurt like hell. Because in your eyes – in society’s eyes – people like me aren’t human. We’re just something to ride, right? Yeah, I didn’t miss that little gem of a comment, @readinglikewildfire.
And because I know this is coming, no, Chaol isn’t just a character.
But you know what, I get it. It’s just sex, right? A small joke made, no harm done.
You’re perpetuating yet another harmful concept cooked up by a disgustingly ableist society. Sorry, but your privilege and utter ignorance are showing. I will concede a bit and agree that we can treat fiction for what it is – something that isn’t real – up to a certain point. But you guys just crossed a line. For those of you saying that you feel guilty for laughing, you absolutely fucking should, because this shit isn’t funny.
The fact is if that post had been making fun of race or mental illness, then the fandom would have ripped these people to shreds and they would have been reported many, many times over. But it’s not, and instead I can count on my fingers the number of people that stood up to say this was wrong, because it’s just another wheelchair joke, right? Who cares? To those that did, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, especially @throne-of-omg-the-feels and @midnight-wonder. It’s nice to know there’s still some hope for humanity left. And to @nerdperson524, I agree with you. People do need a laugh, even those that live their lives stuck in chairs. But that post? It’s downright offensive.
So that’s it. I’m done blowing things out of proportion, as some of you will say. If you think I should have approached you privately and messaged you about this instead of publicly calling you out, then maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t have PUBLICLY insulted mocked degraded an entire subset of the human population. And maybe that makes me a bad person. It certainly means I’m not being the bigger person. And I could honestly care less. I am tired. So sick and tired of constantly being the bigger person, of just staying quiet when I see things like this because what’s the use? The entire world is filled with this shit and it’s not like I can fight every time I see this kind of injustice. Nothing’s going to change, no matter what I do. But this? This is where I draw the line. Congratulations.
When we were happy with BTS getting those 3 interviews in the US and performing at AMAs. We thought that was IT. They will be their awkward and funny self and go back home to Korea … but now it seems like they are on a quest to be interviewed by all the American media while being these charming and confident boys that make people fall for them. At this point, the jokes that Suga made about them going to the Grammys and winning is no more a gag but a goal. Seriously, these boys keep surprising us and themselves. Even in the craziest movies I never saw as much plot twists.
Anyway, Today are the AMAs, let’s hope for the best, stay respectful and be supportive. BTS will show their power, passion, and presence on stage, as what is called the most dedicated fandom in the world rn let’s not lose our title and work hard too. I love you ARMY!
Wait what happened with supergirl? Never really watched it but as usual theres chaos. I know theres an lgbt couple there did they die or something soph?
Well there’s two LGBTQ+ pairing in the show, one is canon “Sanvers” (Alex Danvers + Maggie Sawyer) and one is non canon “Supercorp” (Kara Danvers aka Supergirl + Lena Luthor)
This week-end was the Comic con and during an interview a member of the cast was asked to make a singing recap of the season, but while singing that recap he isolated the Supercorp ship and sang the words “They’re only friends! They’re never gonna get together!” while laughing hysterically, a majority of the cast present there laughed with him, including Melissa Benoist who plays one half of Supercorp - basically mocking the ship.
Songs starts at 1:30
Later in the interview Katie McGrath who plays the other half of Supercorp tried to defend the ship (7:15) but she was rudely interrupted, which pissed everyone off even more.
Now what those actors don’t understand is that an LGBTQ+ fandom, whether their pairing is canon or not, is always gonna be a very sensitive and vulnerable fandom. Because there are so little representations of the community, those ships are extremely important (you can include Camren there), and a LOT of fans felt attacked and ridiculed by the “joke” that this actor made.
After that things escalated quickly, the actor in question, Jeremy Jordan, send out a message to apologize but basically didn’t, he made it about him and not about what the real issue was,
He later understood his mistake and send another message :
Also a few tweets - I think he got it
Other members of the cast also responded, using the basic “I can’t be homophobe, I worked in theater, I have gay friends, the show has a canon gay ship…” etc - trying to defend their behavior.
Then a fan (https://chloeniccole.tumblr.com) send an fucking incredible email to Melissa’s rep to explain why the fandom was so upset and what an important thing shipping is for the community
To which they responded, completely missing the whole point 😒😒😒
Hi Chloe, Thank you for your email. As someone who was present in the room yesterday during the impromptu, musical recap of S2 during MTV’s live stream with the cast of SUPERGIRL, I can speak as a voice of reason and with objectivity as this situation requires. It’s entirely up to you to accept or deny the following… I will not undermine your feelings or those of anyone who took issue with what you’ve perceived to be offensive. However, as an activist, it’s very important that you take a step back before inflicting public scorn. As a role model, it’s incumbent upon you to shape your understanding and engage in meaningful and respectful dialogue based on fact and motivation, and not just on whether your feelings were bruised. You cannot fairly denounce Melissa or Jeremy or the cast for what they DIDN’T say. You cannot fairly characterize their verbiage or actions as “aggressive,” on the contrary. They were having fun in a riff session and hardly at the expense of the LGBT community. You cannot fairly assume or rationalize why David Harewood or Katie McGraff didn’t participate so to substantiate your argument. To enter into a sensitive debate, you have to be really careful about making baseless claims based solely on emotion. Chloe: neither Melissa or Jeremy or any of the cast members marginalized any individual, regardless of orientation, by saying “Kara and Lena” are just friends. They didn’t say “can’t be friends” or “shouldn’t be friends” OR remotely imply that “two female characters would never see each other in a romantic light in their whole lives.” Then you take it one step further to accuse them of declaring “the incomprehensibility of a woman loving another woman” and “blatantly made a mockery of non-heterosexual women.” It’s wholly irresponsible to publicly admonish anyone, as you have on your social media platforms, and I mean anyone, for such a broad and unsubstantiated interpretation of the S2 recap. That, Chloe, is actually the definition of defamation. Allow me to also clarify for you that other than Melissa who MTV brass placed next to host Josh Horowitz, the cast seated themselves. As did all 13 casts of films and television shows that I guided through MTV. Unless David and Katie said they felt “isolated” in their positions in the back, I would recommend you walk back these statements as well. There are gross injustices globally of the LGBT community. This was not one of those occasions. You may feel slighted because the creatives behind the SG series didn’t lead the Kara-Lena relationship in a direction that would have made you happy and proud in S2. You cannot therefore accuse them of being anti-gay. If Josh Horowitz instead engaged in a serious Q&A with the cast as to why they didn’t take that path and Melissa, Jeremy and the cast responded “Kara cannot be in a relationship with Lena because she’s SUPERGIRL” then I invite you to protest loudly and with far more aggression and passion than what you perceived from the cast yesterday. You’ve indicted people who are genuine ambassadors of acceptance, compassion and equality and have proven as much, not on only Glee but on SUPERGIRL and in their own personal lives. As you continue your mission to right the wrongs in society and especially those inflicted on the LGBT community, I highly recommend you postulate your arguments soundly. Thank you Chloe for reaching out. Kindly,”
And now apparently Melissa’s team is threatening to sue her for defamation…
Also other people who are in the LGBTQ+ tv-show horizon responded to the whole thing - Kaitlyn Alexander from Carmilla
And Emily Andras who’s the showrunner of Wynonna Earp
Anyways this whole thing has just reached the medias, so I think we’re gonna be hearing about this for a little while.
The issue here is a very common one unfortunately - public figures just don’t take the time to think and educate themselves - even if it doesn’t look like it, this is homophobia, a very latent, unintentional, type of homophobia, but still homophobia.
It might seem silly and taken out of proportion, but the community has been shut down and mistreated for so many years by the television industry that now even the smallest thing matters. Those ships have such a huge impact on people’s lives, it’s important, and it has taken fucking years for showrunners to understand that, and some still haven’t caught up #fuckyoujasonrothenberg. Showrunners like Emily Andras and a cast like the one of Wynonna Earp are what this community needs - people who take the time to educate themselves, learn from other’s mistakes and most importantly listen and respect the fans. Because at the end of the day the fans are the ones calling the shots, I know for a fact that a majority of the fandom would stop watching Supergirl right now if it weren’t for the Sanvers storyline. The LGBTQ+ community is one of the most loyal source of fans a show and an actor can have, we’re the fucking bomb, we get shit done and we love and ship harder than any other fans, but if you betray us or disrespect us, there’s no coming back, and we will fucking roast you.
Can we talk about Finn for a minute? I keep reading that Finn gets described as “flat” or “boring” by some in the Star Wars fandom. Obviously everyone’s entitled to their opinion. But I’ll tell you, from my perspective? He’s one of the most unique, charismatic Star Wars characters out there.
1. Finn humanized stormtroopers. Made us experience panic and terror at the terrible choices they have to make. Stormtroopers, who were practically a joke in the other movies - white plastic statutes that existed just to get shot and clatter into a pile.
2. Finn’s flight with Poe Dameron is an explosion of emotion. That scene blew me away. Both of them had so much fun with it, and you can see Finn feel the real impact of having a name, rather than being a number.
3. Finn is profoundly empathetic and protective. Hell, I swear he cares about BB8 when he has to describe the plane crash, and Poe’s “death”, to the droid.
4. Finn shows tremendous range in this movie. Traumatized (stormtrooper battle), jocular (”you got a boyfriend?”), joyous (”that’s one hell of a pilot”), wistful (”Take care of yourself. Please.”), angry (ligthsaber battle), I could go on. I like Luke Skywalker as much as the next fan, but I think Finn shows more range in this one film than Luke did in all three.
5. Finn’s story arc is powerful, subversive, and inspiring. Going from a number to a name. Finding a family after being taken from his home as a child. Turning his back on the First Order and then realizing he needs to go further, and embrace the cause of the Resistance.
6. Finn’s relationship with Rey. I’m gonna get choked up about this, so I’ll just say John Boyega is an amazing actor, and I loved every scene he had with Daisy Ridley.
Anyway that’s my fangirling contribution. To me, Finn’s amazing.
“Evfra’s single-minded dedication to his cause became evident when he
led a successful raid on a kett labor camp, liberating hundreds of
angaran prisoners before wiping out an entire battalion of kett. ”
Evfra. There’s a lot to be said about this badass dude. He’s
interesting if for the very fact that he;s known almost completely
anecdotally. Every angaran character has an opinion of him, it seems,
except for himself. He’s almost like a Chuck Norris joke, and probably
has a lot of outlandish untrue(?) stories about himself that only add to
But apparently the kett facility thing wasnt
fake, and he did liberate all those angara. So I kinda drew on that and
made a younger version of Evfra.
@kinfirms tagged me in a post talking about how internet “mom” culture is toxic, (I saw your tags, dont worry <3) and wanted to talk about it a little, but without the queer phobic language it was giving off.
For the most part, I fully and readily agreed with parts of the post detailing how adults can and do behave inappropriately in online spaces towards minors, and how the parental name thing can be a power move.
I grew up with a lot of fandom “mom” types, who with hindsight, turned out to be rather toxic and predatory. One of them actually took great joy in being a “corrupting” force, and would make lewd jokes and inappropriate comments towards us. And us being vulnerable kids who wanted to fit in and belong went along with it, because it made us feel special to be talked to like we were fellow adults.
Except we weren’t fellow adults and nor were we being treated as such. We were impressionable youths being treated like toys to stroke an older person’s ego, and that was 110% not okay, and those adults should have known better not to engage with us on those topics.
I’m hyper aware of being an older person in certain groups now, and try to act accordingly. I try to distance myself while managing to remain encouraging and supportive and hopefully, a positive signifier that people like me can and do grow up into happy (semi-)functional adults. I know there were times growing up when I feared I would not.
I will also never insist that anyone call me “mom”. It’s not a name I picked for myself. It’s an honorific deserving of great respect and mindfulness towards those who gave it to me, not the other way around. People can use it if they want to, and I will respond to it if people use it, but it’s not a role or title or sign of authority, and it’s 100% up to others if they want to use it or not, I don’t mind either way. And just for the record, I also respond to Aunt, Sister, Cousin, Bib, or even my rarely used actual name, Joy :)
I work very hard to respect the boundaries of others, and adhere to my own rules of interaction. I don’t follow back anyone under the age of 18 (with very few exceptions), and I always try to ensure the age of someone when they start talking to me about certain things.
Most of the people calling me “mom”? Seem to be in their early 20s, chronically ill or queer like me, and or at college age and going through that weird panicked stage of “help, I need an adultier adult how the heck do you make a food budget” so it’s not too much of a problem, but I still take those extra steps anyway.
I tag my work, I put it under cuts and generally make it known that I don’t want anyone under the age of 18 to read my 18+ work, because it’s the responsible adult thing to do—and it’s my responsibility to lay down those terms. Not the minor.
If a minor ignores my requests, my tags and the numerous other steps I put in the way to keep my NSFW work hidden? That’s on them, and I can only hope they find it positive and maybe possibly affirming as well—just don’t tell me about it. (I speak from experience, as a minor who went onto 18+ forums looking for something that would show I wasn’t alone with my thoughts and feelings. I found acceptance in queer fanfic that society and family otherwise denied. I wasn’t awful for liking both Superman and Louise Lane, I wasn’t awful and wrong or alone for not being sure if I wanted to be Princess Leia or be with her. And that was very important for 15 year old me, even if it would take another 15 years for me to feel safe enough to tell others.)
When people started calling me “mom” of their own volition, I had a real internal debate over how I felt over using that same moniker others had used before me, and done so in a harmful manner. I wasn’t too keen on it at first, it felt weird, but when people kept on using it without me prompting them to, I came to the decision that hey, it’s just a fun nickname poking fun at my personality, so I just kinda rolled with it. But I also made the conscious decision that if I was going to allow for that nickname, I would strive very hard to be worthy of it and be the adult I needed as a young person, and not like the people I had known.
But that all said? Not all adults take this mindset, and do not behave appropriately towards teenagers and young adults, and you should absolutely be wary of anyone who puts themselves in that position of authority.* It makes me extremely uncomfortable when I see other adults talk about younger people as their “minions” or pets.
They are not.
They are people who are deserving of your fundamental respect and often looking for some sort of help or guidance from a role model they lack in real life, or even just want friendly people to talk to about the things they love. They are not there to prop up your ego. Don’t do that shit. Reflect on your own behavior and say “if this was my child, would I be happy about the way I am interacting with them?”
If the answer is “no” or “I’m not sure”, that’s also a no, and you need to back the fuck off and reevaluate how you interact with others as a whole.
If you are in a fandom or online forum space where the adults are not behaving mindfully of your age, undermine you, or insist on inserting themselves in your life as an authoritarian parental figure? Go with your gut instinct and get the fuck out of dodge.
You are no one’s minion. You are you, with your own boundaries and levels of comfort. Don’t let anyone try to take them from you or make you feel bad for being uncomfortable with their behavior. That’s a common tactic used by abusers, and if you say to someone “what you are doing makes me uncomfortable” and their response isn’t “I’m sorry, how can I change that?”, but defensive anger or guilt tripping you? Fuck ‘em. There are other groups, other people to talk to. Make your own if you have to. Block anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable. You don’t have to put up with that bullshit to prove your own maturity or worth.
*And just because I feel this is important to say: please question me. Challenge me, point out when I say or do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I won’t be mad or offended. I welcome corrective feedback. Tell me if I use an out dated term or if I word something poorly so I can apologize, reevaluate my behavior and try to change for the better. I’m human and therefore always learning and making mistakes, but they come from a place of ignorance, never malice. Take care of yourselves out there <333
So in the average fic about a fangirl’s M/M ship, there’s about 45% UST, 20% angst, 15% fluff, 7% purple prose, 5% apiece for world building and character development, and 1% is made up of trace amounts of fandom in-jokes and tropes. The tension-busting sex scenes usually only make up about 7% at best, (barring fics that are PWP) - in a 50k word fic that’s only 3,500 words, perhaps a single chapter out of the whole thing.
And slash apparently is about nothing more than treating men like objects and seeing their dicks touch. You know, the way that Star Wars is solely about Uncle Owen’s farm. Okay sure Jan
btw these watertight statistics were based on a rigorous long term peer reviewed study and is irrefutable bc i am a science
characterization of percy on this site is always so all or nothing like it’s either “percy is a goofy cinnamon roll with no foresight who needs annabeth to keep him from dying all the time” or “percy is a literal force of darkness who has never made a joke or a mistake in his life. he is calculating and brutal and vengeful and he WILL come for you” and like……neither of those people are percy jackson. he’s incredibly complicated and flawed, and he cracks jokes and gets angry and does stupid things and manipulates people, and he’s incredibly smart and powerful but also kind and selfless. percy doesn’t fit into one archetype, and that’s why he’s such a compelling character