Bob is most definitely sorted into Hufflepuff. A man who values dedication, hard work and lives by honest morals, there’s no doubt our little burger boy wonder belongs with the badgers. Nobody is more loyal to their family and friends than Bob is to his, even when getting so little in return. Even when life constantly tears him down (see: basically every episode of season five) he remains true to himself and what he believes in, his vision. You go, Little Badger Boy Wonder.
To nobody’s surprise, Louise has found herself in the house of snakes. Yes, Slytherin fits our little bunny quite nicely. It’s no secret Louise Belcher can be cunning, manipulative, a bit egotistical…maybe a tad self centered……at times unnecessarily cruel…… BUT! When it comes down to it, she is a girl with striking ambition that knows what she wants and honey, she WILL get what she wants. She isn’t a bad person and never means to intentionally cause harm (especially evident in Nice-capades, Glued, Where’s My Bob? and House of 1000 Bounces) No, in fact, those close to her are extremely well protected. All in all, she’s an outside the box thinker who knows how to get what she needs.
Now, on the surface, Gene is a bubbly, not-so-bright creative soul that cannot stand to be tied down by society’s expectations. So, naturally, it comes as a bit of a surprise that Gene found himself in Ravenclaw. First and foremost, it is crucial to address the fact that not all Ravenclaws are bookworms that do their homework for fun. A Ravenclaw is a bright, sharp individual with a thirst for knowledge. Have you ever noticed how Gene knows way more trivia and pop culture than most 11 year olds? Gene is a boy willing to go anywhere, try anything and knows more about 80s popstars than most people around him. Gene is easily distracted and his mind is always full of creative music and art; when it comes down to it, it really shouldn’t be so surprising that he is flying with the birds.
A woman with an ache for spontaneity, adventure and gets a thrill from rule breaking? Of course, Linda is a Gryffindor! Any mother is blessed with a streak of courage, but Linda takes it one step further and takes off on her birthday to make a perilous adventure home to celebrate! She gets off a bit on breaking rules (see: Adventures in Chinchilla-Sitting) and people who fall outside the norm, but still admires chivalry and fancy cocktail dresses. She can be a bit blunt at times (”No, Sally, your life is a lie…”) but hey, honesty is a chivalrous trait!…Right?
Ah, Tina. Our rule abiding, budding author that always does her homework. A person of high intelligence and the fear of getting in trouble, she was naturally placed in…Gryffindor! Oh, don’t give me that look. Of COURSE Tina belongs in Gryffindor! She places a high value on the chivalry of men (”I sure wish some boy would lend me his jacket”) but has the courage to chase after what she wants (see: Jimmy Jr.) She is a unique, strong, sensual woman with a definite sense of self and the bravery to boot (who else could read their erotic friend fiction to their entire school?) Her remarkable self confidence and ambition almost landed her in Slytherin, but in the end, her strong heart pulled through and got her in with the lions.
The Six Scallion Dollar Man Burger Season 5, Episode 15: Adventures in Chinchilla-sitting
A ginger stuffed beef burger on a bed of steamed bok-choy and slathered in tamari soaked scallions.
This Asian inspired burger is definitely one to turn heads. I mean how often do you have bok choy on a burger? How often do you even eat bok choy. Okay admit it - you have no idea what bok choy is… It’s okay, neither did the guy at the grocery store. (it’s a kind of cabbage that looks like the pale love child of celery and kale)
Nothing says Asian-inspired like soy sauce and ginger, so mix those together and let some green onions soak. Dump that over your gingery burger and wham! It’s like your mouth just flew to Southeast Asia. Recipe below!