Britaboos

you know those slideshows that people in the UK are making for Britaboos, about how London/England/the UK actually sucks?

i’m sorry but i laugh at them

oh, is London crowded, dirty, smelly, expensive, and full of ugly people?

maybe that’s because

IT IS A CITY

but it i’ve been there and it is the MOST AMAZING crowded, dirty, smelly, expensive, full-of-ugly-people city on earth

i mean not everyone is into city life, but if you are, you might as well dream of living in London

I STILL LOVE THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE, IT IS STILL WONDERFUL AND MAGICAL, SO SUCK ON THAT, LONDON BITCHES

and i’m out

Can we start a trend where anyone born and bred in the UK (and I mean ANYONE) documents daily disasters and posts them under a tag about how “wonderfully british” it is

(Eg. “Merseytravel casually trying to kill me by shutting the doors when im only half in and laughing when I get stuck. #tragicallybritish”)

Or maybe a trend where we document the things britaboos do to us.
(Eg, once my American-Canadian friend tried to imitate a “”“"british accent”“”“ one Welsh guy screamed "DIE.” and every british person (even the half-american half-Welsh dude) left the conversation. No-one spoke to xir for a week. #fuckingbritaboos)

anonymous asked:

Who the fuck are you to say that people can't move to england? You don't fucking own england. You have to no right to make fun of peoples dreams!

Hm, well let me see

I am english

I’ve lived in england my entire life

I think I know a bit more about england than the blatant Britaboos.

(‘Britaboo’ - definition: An individual who does not come from Great Britain, and obsesses over British culture, whilst being both ignorant and moronic.)

Also, I never said that no one can move to england. If you’re an adult - financially ready, as well as emotionally and mentally ready, and have seriously planned over a substantial amount of time to make the move, then all the power to you.

What I hate is the amount of romanticising about this country. Quite frankly, it makes me sick. Americans, I’m sorry, but you’re the worst offenders. You do realise that by making england/the whole of the UK out to be some magical country where you automatically live in London and have tea with the Queen, you’re shitting on the real experiences of actual British people?

Here’s a few choice words for you Britaboos: council estates, crime, gangs, binge drinking, poverty, the benefits system, anti-social behaviour, unemployment, inflation, classism, the economic crisis, young people only being offered low paid, low skilled work (if they’re lucky), overpopulation, student loans (our PM really fucking hates young people, especially if they’re poor), the BNP, and the cock-shaped cherry on top - David Cameron.

Not sounding so magical now, are we? While I realise that a good portion of what I listed happens across the world, my point is that we’re not a jolly nation of tea drinkers waiting to cater to you/entertain you when you arrive.

So yeah, if you’re an American teenager who still lives with your parents and you just so happen to like British telly (or if you’re just a really fucking stupid adult who thinks they’re going to hang out with Benedict Cumberbatch every weekend) - stay at home, finish school, grow up. Get rid of your sense of entitlement (you’re not ‘British at heart’, seriously, real British people are just rolling their eyes at you), and maybe holiday here in a few years.

Britain is not a fantasy kingdom for you to escape to. 

Sincerely,

A Brit against Britaboos.

A list of things British people DON'T say (add to this)
  • <b></b> Cheerio<p><b></b> Tally ho<p><b></b> Pip pip<p><b></b> Golly<p><b></b> I say<p><b></b> What-ho<p><b></b> Chap<p><b></b> Fuckity bye<p><b></b> 'ello<p>
  • Arse-head<p>
The 'I wish I was British' tag is currently making me want to pour bleach in my eyes

NO. You do NOT wish you were ‘British’. Also, guess what? 'British’ refers to the English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish. Feel free to come take a stroll through the area I go to school in. You won’t be so fucking desperate to be 'British’ (I think you mean 'English’) then.

‘I love UK accents!’

You mean you love not being able to understand someone their accent is so thick and slangy

'No, I love English accents.’

You mean you love chavs

'No, I mean British accents!’

You mean you’re a weak Britaboo who enjoys fetishizing other cultures