The Signs As Weird Shit My Grandmother Has Done, Part 2
Has a collection of magnets the covers the whole fridge, including one that says "tits out 2016".
Refuses to eat cranberry sauce because she says it "still tastes like the can".
Somehow got the movie Coraline confused with the movie Shrek and bought my brother 3 Shrek DVDs, despite the fact that we don't have a DVD player and my brother asked her bring over the BOOK version of Coraline.
Refers to her sister as "that crazy woman Lanie".
Tried to set me up with my friend Nicholas when we were in third grade.
Calls my girlfriend "that little Emily girl", despite her name not being Emily. Her response to this is "she looks like an Emily."
Has a CD of early 2000s hits including "Bring Me To Life" "All Star" "Fergalicious" and "Get Low" that she plays in the car at top volume to embarrass my dad.
Stands firmly by her belief that the movie Grease is the greatest movie ever made and makes the whole family watch it on Thanksgiving.
Knows every employee in the Walgreens by her house personally. She brings them chili on holidays.
Once, when she was a teenager, threatened to set the movie theater on fire if one more person made her go see Gone With The Wind. She will not watch it, to this day. She's seen it 19 times, or so she says.
Asked my dad if she could take my brother, who was 8 or 9 at the time, to go see Mad Max.
Sets her GPS then refuses to follow the directions because she "knows a shortcut", even if she has no fucking clue where she's going.
The Top Ten 90′s Teen Comedy Movies As Chosen By Me:
1. Clueless (1995) 2. Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999) 3. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) 4. Election (1999) 5. Never Been Kissed (1999) 6. Bring it On (2000) 7. Can’t Hardly Wait (1998) 8. Jawbreaker (1999) 9. American Pie (1999) 10. She’s All That (1999)
Honorable Mentions: Drive Me Crazy, Idle Hands, Empire Records