Bring the drugs baby I could bring my pain

Just For Tonight

Originally posted by shadovvmoon

Originally posted by atenerifesealove

Author’s Note: This is A Juan Carlos “Juice” Ortiz imagine based on Wicked Games by The Weeknd as requested by a lovely Nonny, and imagine #5 for MM5. I hope you all enjoy. Let me know! This imagine is rated M for some smut!


Just For Tonight

-XX-

I left my girl back home
I don’t love her no more
And she’ll never fucking know that
These fucking eyes that I’m staring at
Let me see that ass
Look at all this cash
And I emptied out my cards too
Now I’m fucking leaning on that

Bring your love baby I could bring my shame
Bring the drugs baby I could bring my pain
I got my heart right here
I got my scars right here
Bring the cups baby I could bring the drink
Bring your body baby I could bring you fame
And that’s my motherfucking words too
Just let me motherfucking love you

Listen ma I’ll give you all I got
Get me off of this
I need confidence in myself
Listen ma I’ll give you all of me
Give me all of it
I need all of it to myself
So tell me you love me
Only for tonight
Only for the night
Even though you don’t love me
Just tell me you love me
I’ll give you what I need
I’ll give you all of me
Even though you don’t love me

-XX-

His head is a mess as he pounds on the door, praying she answers. She has to answer. He rests his face against the cool wood, chest heaving.

“Harper,” Juice’s voice breaks as he slaps an open palm against the door. “Harper, please…”

The door swings open revealing a sleepy Harper, a baggy TM shirt hanging to her thighs, black hair falling in waves over her shoulders. She blinks owlishly at him. They’d been best friends once, so close that he would have just walked right in, but then everything changed.

“Juan, what are you doing in Colorado?” she asks, “shouldn’t you be with Claire?”

“I don’t love Claire, and she doesn’t fucking love me,” he spits, “you knew that, you tried telling me…I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t listen…”

“You need to go Juan,” she says but he shakes his head bracing his hand against the door before she can shut it in his face.

“Don’t send me away Harper, please, I don’t have anywhere else to go…”

::

She’d known him half of her life, loved him just as long, though that love had changed over time. She had fallen for him, a head long slide that had left her broken when he gave his heart away to Claire, the blonde bombshell who blew into town and half of SAMCRO while she was at it.

Of course she never told Juan she was in love with him, to do so would have been cruel as he had convinced himself that he was in love. So as the best friend she bit her tongue, until she caught Karen in the sack with a prospect, and when she tried telling him about it he didn’t believe her. She let loose after that telling him what a mistake it was that he was with Karen; that she didn’t love him. He’d cursed her out, telling her that jealousy was getting the best of her, it wasn’t his fault after all that no one loved her the way Claire loved him.

She remembers the sting of his words. The way they cut into her, bruising heart and ego.

It’s been six months, six months of separation from not just him but the rest of the Sons, and seeing him standing in front of her it brings everything back.

The pain. The anger.

The love.

“Harp, please, I have nowhere else to go,” Juan’s voice fills her head and the brokenness on his face makes her chest ache. Holding a hand out to him she waits for him to take it and when he does he collapses against her.

::

She pours another drink as she keeps an eye on Juan. He’s slumped on her couch, eyes glassy, a faraway look on his face.

Settling onto the table across from him she holds out a cup which he takes and quickly drains.

“You want to tell me why you’re here Juan? You’re an awful long way from home,” she says and all he does is shake his head, a tear rolling down his cheek, and as she opens her mouth to say something he’s kissing her. She pulls away, fingers pressing to her lips. “Wh-why’d you do that?”

“I wanted to,” his hands sink into her hair, forehead resting against hers. “Tell me you love me, Harp, please…just tell me you love me.”

“Juan,” her voice breaks fingers wrapping around his wrists.

“Please Harper…just for tonight…” his voice rings with desperation as his lips brush against hers again.

“I love you Juan…”

::

He drives into her relentlessly, Harper’s body burning hot like a furnace beneath him. She is everything and everywhere, and he can’t get enough. Her fingers dig into him, nails biting flesh and he craves the pain.

He moves fast so that his back is pressed against the headboard and she’s straddling his lap. His hands grip her hips as hers circle his neck, and dipping her head she scrapes her teeth across his jaw sending a thrill through him.

“Fuck,” he groans taking a fistful of her hair and giving a pull her head falls back. He feasts on the long column of her throat getting drunk on the taste of her, and when he gets close he looks at her, hand cupping her face so she can look nowhere else.

“Tell me you love me,” he demands and when she does his orgasm tears through him with such force it has her screaming his name.

-XX-

Let me see you dance
I love to watch you dance
Take you down another level
Get you dancing with the devil
Take a shot of this
But I’m warning you
I’m on that shit that you can’t smell baby
So put down your perfume

Bring your love baby I could bring my shame
Bring the drugs baby I could bring my pain
I got my heart right here
I got my scars right here
Bring the cups baby I could bring the drink
Bring your body baby I could bring you fame
And that’s my motherfucking words too
So let me motherfucking love you

Listen ma I’ll give you all I got
Get me off of this
I need confidence in myself
Listen ma I’ll give you all of me
Give me all of it
I need all of it to myself

-XX-

She can hear Juan’s voice through the wall; he’s making plans to go back to Charming, and with her heart in her throat she knows she made a mistake. She never should have slept with him. It blurs lines that she could barely see to start with, but she’ll be the first to admit that when it comes to him, she’s never been afraid of putting her heart on the line.

This time is different though.

She told him she loved him, like she’s wanted to for years, but he doesn’t believe her, and that is almost worse than keeping it to herself.

Her chest tightens as she slips from bed and closing herself in the bathroom with her hand pressed to her mouth she slides down against the door, tears streaming down her face. She knows he’s going to leave, and the realization is almost enough to destroy her.

When she left Charming she did holding onto the hope that the next time she saw Juan they’d find a way to make things okay again, and instead things have just been made more complicated. She doesn’t know that she’s going to be able to say good bye, again.

“Harper?” Juan knocks on the door, and closing her eyes tight she takes a steadying breath.

“Be out in a minute,” she calls hating the fact that her voice shakes.

“Harp, let me in,” he calls but she just shakes her head.

“Just, leave me alone for a minute okay Juan?” she begs but he just takes to wiggling the door knob. She knows he isn’t going to go anywhere and because she’s run out of patience she pulls open the bathroom door. “When are you leaving?”

“What? Harper, why are you crying?”  he asks reaching a hand out to brush a tear from her cheek but she backs away.

“I know you’re going back,” she can’t hide the misery in her voice so she doesn’t even bother trying as she motions with her hands, “the walls are thin.” She brushes past him but he catches her arm turning her to look at him.

“What’s really going on?” he demands and her slippery hold on control is lost.

“You want to know what’s going on?” she asks, hands tightening into fists at her sides. “You’re my best friend Juan, I lost you once already, and the thought of losing you again, it hurts too much. I spent the last six months trying everything in my power to forget about you and Charming, and then you just show up, no warning, nothing and you ask me to tell you that I love you, and I do; and it kills me to know that I can tell you right now that I meant those words, I can tell you that I am in love with you, that I have been for almost as long as I’ve known you, and you wouldn’t believe me.  I can ask you not to go, but that would be selfish, or I can ask you to take me with you but that would mean giving up everything I’ve worked so fucking hard to build in the last six months only to go back to where we were one upon a time, but I can’t do that. I can’t go back and be that close to you again. I can’t watch you sleep your way through crow eaters and sweet butts. I can’t.”

“Harper…” Juan’s voice is soft as he stares at her, shock flickering over his face.

“You don’t have to say anything, please, don’t say anything…” she shakes her head and walks away.

::

“Tell me you love me,” her voice is a whisper in the darkness, “even if it’s just for tonight…”

“I love you Harper,” and no truer words have ever passed his lips.

-XX-

So tell me you love me
Only for tonight
Only for one night
Even though you don’t love me
Just tell me you love me
I’ll give you what I need
I’ll give you all of me
Even though you don’t love me

-XX-