Director: (talking about a scene in Les Mis) So the gate is going to turn probably six times during this scene and go back and forth between side of the gate. ASM (me): uhh… are you going to want me in blacks for the show or a simple costume for all the scene changes? Dir.: Probably blacks just to save (Costume designer) time. (we start going through the scene moment by moment) Dir: It will turn here… here… here.. ASM: I could dress up like a shrub for this scene and hang out by one side of it the whole time.. just a thought. I would make a good shrub. SM: That would make my night every show
longweekendinrutlandhamragyatlerot Yeah, I’ll just use a Python pick-up line on him such as these; "Are you a lumberjack because you look okay to me" "Wanna come back to my place and see my silly walk?“ "Fuck the shrubbery, I’d make King Arthur bring me you" and see how he reacts. Hopefully it works out because well… he looks like Graham
Bring Me A Shrubbery, Or: I Swear, Officer, I Did Not Kill My Neighbor
An officer of the law just came to my door asking many questions about the lady who lives next to us. Apparently some of her friends have become concerned because they have not heard from Yvonne, an elderly woman, in several weeks. Under questioning, I realized that I, also, have not seen her outside, puttering about, as is her daily habit, in several weeks.
Now, the thing is, we’ve lived next to Yvonne on the right side, and the family of Amy & Matt and their two kids on the left for about ten years. Yvonne is kooky, but we certainly got along well. Last September she began taking weird raggedy cuts out of our flowering bushes (w the Orange flowers, where dozens of hummingbirds live most of the year) and I asked her four or five times to please STOP cutting into our high hedge, aka shrubbery.
Well, she wouldn’t stop. When Andy drove me home from having the twins by surprise C-section, after I’d been in hospital almost a week, the entire nine to twelve foot hedge/shrubbery, on our side and on her side, was gone.
I didn’t know what to do, she did it perhaps for a better view of us, (because we’re so lovely and fun to watch?) or she did it because she could? It just left our house completely unshaded, and totally exposed to all traffic on the upper major street. Plus I love privacy, almost as much as I love my hummingbirds.
In my confusion and disappointment (sort of like “it’s just a stupid hedge” and sort of like “that crazy so & so, how dare she”) I took the passive aggressive route, I’m sad to admit. I simply stopped speaking to her.
And now I may be a murder suspect.
This gives a whole new level of sinister intent to the old Monty Python skit that included the famous “Bring me a Shrubbery!” line we all used to make such jokes back in LRY groups in the late seventies.
Either I am an asshole, or people are really fucking stupid.
It could go either way.
Please do not contact me to work with you, if you cannot spell, or, at least use auto correct…. ON YOUR “PROFESSIONAL” WEBSITE. C'mon! Then have arrogant disregard for my very busy schedule, by asking me if my schedule conflicts are due to the lack of compensation for my time, AKA unpaid test.
And…………… to not “waist” her time.
on her website, she claims to take “privet” clients.
… and I can’t find any appropriate gifs for my present state of being and it sucks so I’ll just put this here instead. - I have retyped that sentence mutliple times because my hands are shaking so much that they won’t stay on the keys correctly.
A challenge for you, Tumblrfiends! Fetch me a gif worthy of my caffeinated hyperactivity! Do this and I shall reward you with my unnecessary overwhelming enthusiasms!
Marry: Loghain (Please bring me a shrubbery, perfect man) Kiss: Justice (No excuse for this) Cuddle: Anders (I imagine he’d smell like a sewer and be all elbows, but I don’t care) Push away: Bethany (I think of her too much as a sister and don’t have enough Jaime Lannister in me for anything else)