don’t use clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me” “maybe we can still be friends” etc but instead let them down by using famous cooking show elimination tag lines. “you’ve been chopped” “please pack your knives and go”
I wasn’t your first and we both know this. She had your heart before you knew my name. He had mine before I ever looked twice at you. Most of your stories have her in them and it makes me wince but they’re coming less often and this is something to smile about. When you remember that you met him back when he was the one holding my hand, you try to remember what he looked like but you can’t because it didn’t matter then.
They were first and we both know this. I want to thank her for leaving you so softly. You want to punch him for leaving me in pieces.
You weren’t my first and we both know this but that’s okay because maybe I learned all the hard lessons with him. Maybe you learned how to love with her.
I guess what I’m trying to say is there are so many different kinds of love in this world. He was my shot of tequila on an empty stomach and she was your monsoon after the sky forgot how to cry for the entire summer but you’re my bed waiting for me after a long day and I’m your glass of red wine that warms you from the inside.
So what if they were first? This doesn’t make me sad anymore. We both promise to do better this time and I finally believe us.
Aries: Great! I’m so much better off without you Taurus: Good luck handling everything by yourself Gemini: Okay bye Cancer: Wow why? you definitely are not what I thought you were Leo: Haha, you’ll regret this so much Virgo: Do you have any good reasons or are you just plain stupid? Libra: Hmm, you don’t want to be with me anymore? why??? Scorpio: You’re absolutely right. I can do way better. Sagittarius: But are we still friends? Capricorn: Yea we’re done Aquarius: okay, take your time! Pisces: What’s wrong? Is it because I’m a Pisces?
I think we put too much emphasis on worth when it comes to breakups, like the only reason a relationship ever ends is because one person decided the other wasn’t good enough. It can obviously feel that way regardless of the actual reasons, but there are many reasons that can cause a relationship to just not work anymore.
Sometimes people’s priorities change, or it’s discovered that they never lined up very well in the first place.
Sometimes circumstances, like distance or time availability, make maintaining a relationship too difficult.
Sometimes people realise that they don’t have the emotional resources to handle both the relationship and what’s going on in their life right now (be that work, grief, healing from trauma, dealing with illness or disability, etc.).
Sometimes people’s relationship styles/emotional needs just don’t line up – one person needs a lot of alone time and the other needs a lot of time with a partner, for example.
Sometimes people try very hard to interact in a healthy way, but they trigger each other’s past traumas or have conflicting access needs and find themselves falling into dysfunctional patterns.
Sometimes love is not enough to make a healthy relationship possible. You can care deeply about each other and try to make things work, but discover that a relationship is still not possible. Ending a relationship with someone you love can be very difficult, but sometimes it’s necessary – it’s not healthy for anyone to ignore their own needs in order to maintain a relationship.
When a good relationship ends, that doesn’t mean it was a failure. It means that it’s over; it doesn’t erase the love that you shared. Whether or not you can transition to a different kind of relationship with them, the person you cared about will still be part of your universe, and the memories you share with them will still be part of who you are. The time that you had together can still be meaningful.