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Do you ever hear something so hypocritical, the world stops working for one long moment of bafflement?

I’m sorry, but Tarn, the guy who melts people alive and leads a torture club and ripped a guy’s head off over a dog to be cool, asking someone else to be reasonable is amazing

i just want you all to know that since Nursey is from NYC he definitely:

  • jaywalks and waits for cars to pass about two feet off the sidewalk
  • walks faster than anyone on SMH, even if he’s not in a hurry to get anywhere. people here just walk really fucking fast my dudes, i don’t care how chill you think he is.
  • weaves through crowds to find the fastest possible route through the gaps between people
  • does not sit down to eat unless it’s a Meal. snacks are consumed while moving, always. plus when he eats pizza he folds that sucker in half and shoves as much of it in his mouth as quicly as possible. straight up pizza deepthroating happens here every day. also is a stickler for “actual pizza, not that chicago imposter bullshit”
  • has very different standards of cleanliness than other folks. there’s trash everywhere here and literal rats all over the place. when you think about it his locker room loogie makes a lot of sense, because new yorkers just spit anywhere they please
  • is probably a Rangers fan (sorry i don’t make the rules), ergo, hates Pittsburgh and Boston
  • played pokemon go compulsively over the summer because NYC is one of the only places you can catch every single pokemon in the US
  • calls murder stop-n-shop the “Murder Bodega”
  • refers to Manhattan as “The City”
  • doesn’t say “cawfee” himself but he absolutely knows people who do and it’s just a part of life
  • makes fun of New Jersey simply because he can
  • 60% of his stories begin with “so this one time in Brooklyn…”