Bossy Pants

Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers’ room, waiting for the Wednesday night read-through to start. […] Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can’t remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and “unladylike”.

Jimmy Fallon […] turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, “Stop that! It’s not cute! I don’t like it." Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. "I don’t fucking care if you like it.” Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit.

With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.

—  Tina Fey, Bossy Pants (x)
But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom—Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
—  Tina Fey, Bossypants
Build Up (Young Derek)

THIS WAS REQUESTED my masterlist is ready to go here. If you want something written you can request it right here!

Warnings: Build up to implied smut and implied smut

Request: Can you do one where your stiles little sister and when Derek is turned young he hits on you. A lot. And he comes into your room during the night … You end it😘 love you bupy

“Wait.” You said, pointing a finger at the young boy standing beside Scott and Stiles.

“You’re telling me, that this kid is Derek? As in grumpy bossy-pants Derek?” you ask, your eyebrows raised as Stiles and Scott exchanged a look. “yeah. That Derek.” Stiles said with a nod. “Derek, this is my sister, Y/N.” You put your hand out for a handshake, but he took your hand and pressed it softly to his lips. “My pleasure.” He said, looking up at you  through thick eye lashes as a blush spread through your cheeks. “Alright.” Stiles said, pulling Derek away from you. “I think we need some ground rules.”

After 10 minutes of the rules being explained (an emphasis on rule number 3 “NO FLIRTING WITH MY SISTER", number 8 which was “NO GOING INTO MY SISTER’S ROOM” and summed up by number 17 “DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING ANYTHING WITH HER.”) You called it a night early on, wanting to escape the impending hours of extensive research about getting Derek back into his adult form.

You could still hear consistent chatter and the occasional thump of a heavy book being moved. You continued to get ready for bed, pausing momentarily when you heard the front door click open and shut, hearing Stiles’ jeep starting in the driveway.

You walk out of your en suite, stifling a yawn that emerged from your minty lips, the fresh smell of toothpaste still lingering. You leaned over, pulling back your duvet when you heard a light gasp. You turned around to see Derek standing in the doorway of your room, un-bashfully staring at the area uncovered as you leant over. “Hey Derek.” You say, turning to face him, a small smile on his lips.

“Hi Y/N. Your brother and Scott went to go get dinner and I thought I should check on you.” He said, his eyes scanning your body, clad in your short pyjamas. “How many of my brother’s rules do you plan on breaking tonight?” You ask, stepping closer to Derek so that your chests almost touched. He looked down at you “All of them.” With that he moved forward, yours lips moving forwards to met his.

Derek broke a lot of rules tonight, with emphasis on rule number 17…

A/N: I’m going to try to get 8 hours of sleep tonight but I’m not sure how that will work out. Anyways, I hope you like it! Have an amazing day/night xx

The 100 - Dating Jasper Jordan

Could you please write about what it would be like to go out with Jasper pwetty please <3

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Dating Jasper Jordan would include:

- him being a complete weirdo at all times but not being ashamed of it.

  - you two getting caught up in a major prank war 

- you running off with his beloved goggles

- him pretending to be mad with you but failing completely 

- him calling you “sweetie”, “cutie pie” and “miss bossy pants”

- being really good friends with Monty 

- keeping Jasper calm in Mount Weather 

- lots of hand holding 

- cuddles at night time

- back rubs whenever you got particularly stressed out

- really cute sex because he doesn’t want to hurt you 

- him showing you off as much as possible

- hickys to warn off any other boys who have their eyes on you.

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 AN: hey thank you for the request for this. I really like doing these so I may do a couple more that aren’t requested :3

CALLING ALL CONSPIRACY THEORISTS & ANIME/OTOME FANS

what do we make of this?


~Earl~ Ciel Phantomhive (Black Butler): quiet, commanding


~King~ Byron Wagner (Midnight Cinderella/Cybird games): quiet, commanding

This similarity was more based on looks than personality, but the rest are personality instead of looks.


~Demon Butler~ Sebastian Michaelis: Loves cats, is a cocky lil shit, has a way with words and manages to charm everyone around him, very determined, bossy-pants


~Tutor~ Giles Christophe: HAS a cat, cocky lil shit, charms everyone, determined and bossy af


~Gardener~ Finnian/Finny: adorable lil shit, cheerful af, SO sweet, accessorizes (hair pins), abnormally talented


~Servant (spoiler- Secret Knight of Stein)~ Nico Meier: adorable lil shit, cheerful af, sweet, accessorizes (lucky earring), abnormally talented


If you want me to find the rest of the characters’ parallels, let me know but it’s 5:40am and I’m running on no sleep and currently working technically so this post is done lol

soundcloud.com
Tom Hiddleston - ISTL Singalong
Mr.Bossy Pants leads the audience in an abruptly ended singalong of I Saw The Light.

Okay, folks, here ya go.

So one of the first questions was a request for him to yodel.  He was quiet for a few seconds and then said something like “Did you not just see the film?” Hah!

He said that he would sing if we all sang with him and proceeded to instruct us that it would be “I Saw The Light” and that everyone needed to put their phones down (so as to participate).  

At the beginning of the clip, he is humming and he is waiting for the phones to disappear.  Mr.Bossy Pants explains that he will sing the verse and then we will join him for the chorus and then says that he needs a clap.

We got a few lines into the chorus and he stops singing because a gentleman in the first couple of rows disobeyed and Tom says “PHONE DOWN, SIR!” and then “There’s always one…”

**From the Q&A at the Century 9 in San Francisco

**Pardon my voice on the chorus

Bossypants - Unabridged - [Disc 3] ~ Track 14
  • Bossypants - Unabridged - [Disc 3] ~ Track 14
  • Tina Fey
  • Bossypants - Unabridged - [Disc 3]
Play

Disc 3, Track 14: Dear Internet

I’m sure if you and I compare schedules we could find a time to get together and do something about this scar of mine. But the trickier question is What am I going to do? I would love to get your advice, actually.

I’m assuming you’re a physician, because you seem really knowledgeable about how the human body works. What do you think I should do about this hideous scar? I guess I could wear a bag on my head, but do I go with linen like the Elephant Man or a simple brown paper like the Unknown Comic? Too many choices, help!

Link to PREVIOUS TRACKNEXT TRACK

Bossypants - Unabridged - [Disc 1] ~ Track 6
  • Bossypants - Unabridged - [Disc 1] ~ Track 6
  • Tina Fey
  • Bossypants - Unabridged - [Disc 1]
Play

Disc 1, Track 6: All Girls must be Everything

“And lets admit it, yellow hair does have magic powers. You could put a blond wig on a hot water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.

Snow white is better looking. I hate to stir up trouble among the princesses but take away the hair and Sleeping beauty is actually a little beat.”

Link to PREVIOUS TRACKNEXT TRACK

Bossypants - Unabridged - [Disc 3] ~ Track 10
  • Bossypants - Unabridged - [Disc 3] ~ Track 10
  • Tina Fey
  • Bossypants - Unabridged - [Disc 3]
Play

Disc 3, Track 10: I Don’t Care If You Like It - (One in a series of love letters to Amy Poehler)

Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers’ room, waiting for the Wednesday read-through to start. There were always a lot of noisy “comedy bits” going on in that room. Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can’t remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and “unladylike.”

Jimmy Fallon, who was arguably the star of the show at the time, turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, “Stop that! It’s not cute! I don’t like it.” Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him.

I don’t fucking care if you like it.

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