This right here is why I do daily doubles with Selene & Dante, early mornings with Percess & Constantine, Friday afternoon with Andre and why I will be at Jeovanny’s class tomorrow night!!!
Thanks to each of the coaches and to everyone who encourages, pushes, challenges and sweats with me day after day!!
The F.I.T.T Pit ROCKS!!
SHOWERING IS NOT OPTIONAL … My drill sergeant was doing a routine inspection when suddenly I hear: “WHAT THE UNHOLY FUCK IS THAT SMELL, PRIVATES?! IT SMELLS LIKE Y’ALL DECIDED TO USE YOUR GODDAMNED WALL LOCKERS AS SHITTERS!” He continues on, and not two seconds later I hear: “ALL RIGHT, SERIOUSLY, PRIVATES, NO MORE BULLSHITTING, THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL?” A PRIVATE SAYS, “DRILL SERGEANT, PRIVATE X DOESN’T PERFORM PERSONAL HYGIENE, DRILL SERGEANT!”
DS: THE FUCK DID YOU SAY? So the drill sergeant walks up to the now freshly named Private Shower and says: “YOU NASTY LITTLE FUCK! YOU SMELL WORSE THAN A THAI HOOKER ON TWO-FOR-ONE NIGHT! I MEAN, HOLY HELL, PRIVATE, I HAVE BEEN IN SHIT, AND I’D RATHER BE KNEE-DEEP IN IT THAN SMELL YOUR UNSANITARY, INHUMAN, UNWORTHY, REPULSIVE ASS! FROM NOW ON, PRIVATE, WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A SIGN-IN SHEET BY THE SHOWERS, AND YOU WILL HAVE TO SHOWER WITH EVERY OTHER PISS-FOR-BRAIN PRIVATE HERE. YOUR NAME WILL BE FIRST EVERY FUCKING NIGHT FOR THE REST OF THE CYCLE OR I SWEAR TO WHATEVER GOD YOU BELIEVE IN I WILL HAVE YOU DOING LOW CRAWLS IN THE PIT UNTIL YOU SHIT MOTOR OIL!”