Bookseller

From the Other Side of the Signing Table

“I don’t know what to say to you,” the girl said. “Um, thanks, I guess.”

“Thanks is good,” I replied.

Silence stretched, punctuated only by the scuffle of a Sharpie on a page.

We were in the same boat, the girl and I — both at a book festival, both at the end of a long day full of people, both in a signing line that had been going on for an hour already. There was only one big difference between us: she was on one side of the table, and I was on the other. Sometimes that difference seems to matter more than others.

Before I was published, I read a lot of accounts of what it was like to have your work out there, but I never read anything about what it was like to have yourself out there. I suppose I never really thought about it, to tell you the truth. I thought you wrote a book and hopefully people liked it and if I thought about book tours at all, I figured they involved standing on a stage for a bit before disappearing into a rental car. The truth, however, is that now — ten years and fifteen novels in to my career — most of my hours in front of people are spent in a signing line. Forty minutes on a stage or behind a table for a panel, and then two or three hours meeting a few hundred strangers. I had no idea what it would be like.

This is what it’s like.


Keep reading

The problem is not regular minimum wage jobs going up. The problem here would be that paramedic making a pathetic amount of money compared to what they do. I made 12.50 as a hostess.
Raising the minimum wage would get this paramedic in the scenario much closer to what they deserve as a salary. Do people not realize that?

Also, why, in every one of these fucking posts, are fast-food workers used as an example? You know minimum wage affects FAR more people and types of jobs than that, right? You can have a degree and be paid less than $15 hourly. But, apparently, unless you’re in the medical profession, you don’t deserve more. And evidently everyone that isn’t in the medical profession works at McDonalds.

Let’s not deny an entire mass of people a working wage because you got an incorrect order. That is moronic. How about you campaign and work toward fixing the actual problem in this scenario rather than turning on the working class. Look upwards, not downwards.

P.s. Any minimum wager could easily call out high paid jackasses for not doing their jobs, that they are highly paid to do, correctly but do you see that as often as this? Nope. Because they are focused on getting their fair wage, not just wildly pointing fingers. [Ending was edited out because it was a simple joke and people took it seriously then blew it way out of proportion]

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So many cool exclusive editions of The Dark Prophecy! The images above will show you want special item you get if you order from these retailers! The book will be out May 2.

My Recommendations

Okay so I REALLY wanna work at Barnes & Noble this summer as a bookseller SO send me a book you like or really wanna read and I’ll give a recommendation for another book you may also like.
…so in the most basic terms it’s a if you like this then you’ll like that :)

Example: if you like “Fangirl” by Rainbow Rowell then you’ll like “Eliza and her Monsters” by Francesca Zappia

Stories From My Career at Barnes & Noble, Part One
  • College-age boy dressed as a wizard looking for a book on healing crystals.
  • Man who flicked water on my co worker because there were no paper towels left in the men’s bathroom.
  • Multiple accounts of people trying to use their old Borders Rewards cards in place of a B&N membership.
  • Prank caller asking for a book by “Seymour Butts.”
  • Middle-aged man sitting in the Newsstand area eating a 7-11 Big Gulp slurpee with a spoon and doing nothing else.
  • Small child that ate a Godiva chocolate santa right out of the foil…in the middle of the register aisle.
  • Multiple instances of me asking male customers if they need help, being denied, and then watching them approach my male co-workers with a question about a science fiction/fantasy novel.
  • Being scolded by a nun for selling Playboy magazine.
  • Cutting myself with a boxcutter, holding my bleeding hand, and being asked by a customer if my register was open.
  • Soccer mom that reported me to a manager for asking her to step to the back of the line after she cut in front of five people.
  • Almost daily instances of finding books from the Love & Sex bay in the Children’s department.
  • Elderly European couple that steals chairs from other people’s tables so they can put their feet up with pillows they brought from home.
  • Multiple instances of going to the bathroom and hearing someone talking to themselves in the neighboring stall. (This literally happened to me twice today.)
  • Elderly man that told my manager to tuck in his shirt.
  • Different elderly man universally known to the staff as “Membership Guy.” 100% believes that you are out to steal all his information and ruin his life by asking if he’s a Barnes & Noble member.
  • A coworker asking Membership Guy if he found everything alright, to which he replied, “why the FUCK would I be up here if I didn’t find everything alright?!”
  • The time a dude from Texas Roadhouse came in gave us free bread and cinnamon butter.
  • Woman whose cafe order totaled $6.66 and bought an extra cupcake to avoid “bad juju.”
  • Elderly man with a painted on mustache and off-kilter wig that tries to show everyone YouTube videos of his nephew’s band. The fact that you’re in the middle of making five drinks at once will not stop him.
  • Man who ferociously denied donating to our annual book drive because “the government has taken enough from him.” (?????)
  • Dude that asked me to help him find a book called “100 Nights of Great Sex” while his wife looked on with dead eyes.
  • Woman that told me I was “shit at my job” for being unable to find a book that she didn’t know the title or author of, only that it was white.
  • Regular customer known as “Monopoly Guy” because he always wears a top hat. Constantly hits on one specific female employee and frequently calls to see if she’s working. Was once caught jacking off in the parking lot by a co worker.
  • Woman that blatantly refused to leave the store after close because it was raining.
  • Drawing one of the manager’s names for our annual Secret Santa exchange and buying him Managing for Dummies, which he quickly whited out to say Managing Dummies.
  • Being rolled around on a V-cart by a co worker.
  • Woman that continued knocking on the window after close and demanded we let her in because she had a gift card.
  • The number one item most frequently stolen being Magic the Gathering cards.
  • Elderly woman buying romance novels and loudly announcing “since I’m not getting any, I might as well read about it.”
  • Redneck man reporting the head cashier to me because apparently asking him if he was a Barnes & Noble member was “being a bitch.”
  • Woman that demanded I ring her up over the phone and then bring her purchase to her car.
  • Mall Santas repeatedly coming in for a coffee break in full costume.
  • Catching a (now unemployed) co worker reading manga on the clock. Every. Single. Day.
  • Woman that asked me to help her find a book while I was washing my hands in the bathroom.
  • Two college boys looking for books on “growing indoor plants.”
  • A man that called the store just to ask where the nearest RadioShack was.
  • Watching a co worker get yelled at for using the credit card in the customer’s hand instead of the one in her purse.
  • Being asked to make an “iced hot chocolate.” After explaining to the customer that what they were asking for was chocolate milk, they furiously repeated “NO. I want an iced hot chocolate.”
  • Woman that demanded the corporate number and my name after telling her that she couldn’t return a book with a receipt from 2009.
  • Being tearfully hugged by a widowed dad for finding him books to help him teach his daughter about puberty.
  • Performing the yearly missing child drill with an Elf on the Shelf doll labeled “Bob.”
  • The managers hiding Bob around the store during the holidays and awarding prizes if we find him.

And lastly (for now, anyway)…

  • Being forced to wear the ridiculous costumes for Friday night storytimes.
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Co-worker Kim Bryant shared these photos of her recent trip to Hay-on-Wye, Wales, aka “The Town of Books”. According to Kim, there are so many bookstores in Hay-on-Wye that “you can literally stand in the doorway of one and see nothing but more everywhere you look. … And yet, we were told by the Tourist Info Centre that there are fewer bookstores than there used to be.”

According to The Guardian, Hay-on-Wye’s book boom began when entrepreneur Richard Booth opened Hay-on-Wye’s first used bookstore in 1961. Next came an annual literary festival (the 2017 Hay Festival opened on Thursday) and dozens of other booksellers. In the ‘70s, Booth even declared himself King of Hay-on-Wye

But by 2009 his relationship with the town’s booksellers had soured  to the point of symbolic regicide. That’s the year Booth’s unhappy subjects beheaded an effigy of their king and declared that the (self-proclaimed) independent kingdom of Hay was now an independent commonwealth.

Sounds like the makings of a good book. Anyone here down to write it? 

– Nicole