Body of Lies

kevin and neil headcanons because i dont see nearly enough for them

☆neil: what is ‘dabbing’ kevin: absolutely not
☆kevin has to chop vegetables into tiny pieces and sneak them into neils dinners because his eating habits are shit
☆they go grocery shopping together and neil keeps putting junk food in the cart and kevin keeps shoving it back onto random shelves with varying levels of rage
☆neil: do i even weigh anything to you? kevin, holding him a foot off the ground: no. its like holding a bag of grapes
☆whack each other w their exy racquets when they get too Extra during practice
☆scary movie ride or die fans
☆kevin curls up and watches through his fingers and neil punches kevins leg when a jumpscare gets him
☆kevin: *mentions anyone who has even slightly inconvenienced him* neil: you should kill them
☆kevin can always sense neils bullshit and he will, inevitably and invariably, be able to tell when neil is doing Something Stupid
☆neil photobombs kevins interviews at/after games ALL THE TIME
☆kevin: it was a tough game but our hard work paid off
☆neil: in the background wearing 3 pairs of sunglasses and dumping an entire gatorade over his head while maintaining eye contact with the camera
☆neil can suplex kevin
☆they are savage at dragging like god help whoever brings down their Roasting Session upon themselves bc they will taste the wrath of a god
☆neil makes a game of how many outlandish claims he can make and still have kevin believe him
☆neil: did you know i once spent a week in australia and had to eat nothing but jellyfish and twinkies to survive
☆kevin, wide eyed and scandalized: how are you alive
☆neil WILL pick a fight in a fast food restaurant and kevin has to bail him out
☆kevin listens to 80s pop music when he works out and neil finds out. neil Finds Out.
☆neil plays 21 loops of tom jones’ ‘whats new pussycat’ and kevin tells him to put in 1 ‘its not unusual’
☆kevin will send neil a million texts until he gets a response. like in a row, in the span of 15 seconds buzz buzz bitch where are you
☆neil watches chopped and kevin loses his mind because neil will drag a contestant for mixing caviar with peppers while at the same time eating like mac n cheese with nutella
☆they get too into laser tag and get kicked out

thanks i love them

neil and allison headcanons lets do it

☆WILL talk shit about anyone and look smug doing it. even if you call them out they just stage whisper behind their hands while maintaining eye contact
☆will talk shit about reporters IN FRONT of reporters
☆have the same shitty taste in shitty reality tv. they binge watch for hours.
☆paint each others nails bc why not
☆neil Tries to braid allisons hair and ties it into a knot on accident. allison doesnt talk to him for a week and a half and aims all the exy balls at his ankles during practice
☆allison tries to take neil to nice restaurants with actual high quality food but neil doesnt even like it he prefers garbage
☆neil: its good! its good i swear im just not that hungry. hey can we stop at dennys on the way back
☆they have a joint twitter account
neil: allison is gone so im gonna buy 25 new exy racquets matt: why neil: shes pretty much 85% of my impulse control
☆a million inside jokes between them so allison can just deadpan say ‘extra chunky’ and neil busts a fucking gut
☆allison ‘never talk to me or my son neil again’ reynolds
☆both pull all-nighters to finish schoolwork and in the morning the rest of the team finds them half-dead with their blood like 60% coffee
☆UNSTOPPABLE team at playing chicken
☆get mistaken for dating all the time when theyre out. allison immediately turns to neil and says ‘i want a divorce’
☆allison does that thing where she rests her elbow on neils shoulder and leans on him
☆they both overreact to minor inconveniences
☆’the wifi is out’ ‘i want you to kill me. i want to die Immediately.’
☆can have conversations completely through emojis

THANKS

“I have pulled dead, mangled bodies from cars. I have lied to people as they were dying. I said you are going to be fine as I held their hand and watched the life fade out. I have held dying babies. Bought lunch for people who were mentally ill and haven’t eaten in a while. I have had people try to stab me. Fought with men trying to shoot me. Ben attacked by women who have had the shit kicked out of them by their husband as I was arresting him. I have held towels on bullet wounds. Done CPR when I knew it wouldn’t help just to make family members feel better. I have torn down doors, fought in drug houses. Chased fugitives though the woods. I have been in high speed car chases. Foot chases across an interstate during rush hour traffic. I have been in crashes. Been squeezing the trigger about to kill a man when they came to their senses and stopped. Waded through large angry crowds by myself. Drove like a mad man to help a fellow officer. Let little kids who don’t have much sit in my patrol car and pretend they are a cop for their birthday. I have taken a lot of people to jail. Given many breaks. Prayed for people I don’t even know. Yes and at times I have been violent when I had to be. I have been kind when I could. I admit I have drove to some dark place and cried by myself when I was overwhelmed. I have missed Christmas and other holidays more than I wanted too. Every cop I know has done all these things and more for lousy pay, suckie hours and a short life expectancy. We don’t want your pity, I don’t care for your respect. Just let us do our jobs without killing us.”

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In which Kratos also got wet in the name of science.

replication of this experiment.

2

kagehina as b-boys (for hq 69min on twitter) | (dance AU)