Aaaalright! Finally, it’s been ages since I uploaded a new audio edit, But, this time, I’m keeping things a little bit simple because I had no time to upload things, because 2016 is such a busy year for me.
So here it is, Helena with only Gerard’s vocals in 3D! It’s like ASMR but… idk close enough hah
Jack never entered Samwell, instead went straight on to the NHL where he ends up getting sucked into the Hockey Robot lifestyle because there wasn’t the Haus or the SMH team to kind of pull him out of it. Jack is out at this point, because Kent came out, and the only way to protect himself from accidental outing was for him to admit he and Kent had been a couple. But since Jack is basically All Hockey and never dates ever, people generally leave him alone about it.
Bad Bob and Alicia worry about him constantly. They want him to be happy, and Jack hasn’t let himself feel anything for anyone since Kent because it had ended the worst way something could end…and he doesn’t want to relive that. But his parents want something more for him.
Cue Bitty, who is at Samwell, and working weekends at Annie’s. Bitty is still on scholarship, but when his parents found out about his blog, they stopped speaking, so Bitty’s getting by the best way he can without them.
Only between everything he’s got, trying to get past his checking fear (without Jack it’s just a disaster) plus work, his grades start failing and it puts his scholarship at risk.
One day Bob and Alicia are in town for some Samwell Alumni thing, and Bob stops in at Annie’s and he’s dealing with his worry over Jack, so he’s at a table feeling morose. Suddenly there’s this little ray of sunshine holding a plate of pie which happens to be the best thing Bob has ever put in his mouth like…ever. They chat and Bitty offers a friendly ear, so Bob vents a little…
“My son followed in my footsteps and I think it was the worst thing. He’s miserable but there’s nothing I can do, and I feel like a failure as a father. I let him down.”
And Bitty’s just like, “I doubt that very much/. You’re really nice and honestly sometimes people just are who they are, and no amount of parenting-either good or bad- has any real bearing on who we become. Trust me, I know from personal experience and I think I’d have loved to have you as a dad.” He leaves then, but Bob is contemplative and oddly, feels better.
He goes to thank Bitty, but he’s gone, and one of the baristas is like, “He left, he wasn’t having a great day.”
Bob is outside, and he hears crying from an alley, when he investigates, there’s Bitty crying because he just learnt he’s about to lose his scholarship. He has no home to go back to, and no job experience outside of Annie’s and that can’t really pay his rent or tuition.
Bob is so kind and gentle, Bitty ends up spilling his entire story as they’re sat in the dirty alley, up against the wall. And Bob is just like… “I’ll help you.”
Bitty is Confused ™ because what? He’s worried this dude is asking for like sexual favours because who can just afford to pay some kid’s rent and tuition, right? And what would Bob want in return.
Bob accepts Bitty’s hesitation and gives him his name card and is like, “Think it over.”
Bitty then googles Bob and learns all about him, his hockey career, and his son who, holy shit has the most amazing ass Bitty has ever seen like…ever. He watches a few videos of Jack who is always in kind of robot mode and Bitty is like this boy…
Anyway he texts Bob and is like: So what would you want in return? I know this can’t be totally free.
And Bob replies: I just want to help. You were so nice to me earlier, but actually there is one thing. My son has to attend a lot of events he could use a date to them. Not date, date. Just someone to accompany him. It’s mostly charity stuff. Would that be agreeable?
And Bitty is just thinking…I have to spend time with quality, Grade A ass for a night surrounded by NHL stars and you pay my rent and tuition? Where do I sign up.
So…they come to an agreement.
Jack, at first, is Not Happy ™. Like he knows his parents are eccentric but his dad has a sugar baby now and that sugar baby is going to be Jack’s date, WTF? So Jack is super unpleasant and when Bitty seems a bit too enthusiastic at their first charity event, Jack yells at him in public and there’s a big story about Jack’s rocky secret love affair.
Bitty thinks about quitting, but he can’t afford to, and after talking to Bob, he realises Jack’s afraid and hurting. He learns Kent has moved on and gotten better, and they’re even friends, but the scars are still there.
So Bitty just sucks it up and tries to be as pleasant as he can. He bakes Jack pies, and when Jack is injured in a game, he shows up in Providence to take care of him and Jack is reluctant at first, but Bitty’s skills in the kitchen are amazing and really…he enjoys the company.
Jack’s afraid though, because it’s business between Bitty and Bob and it doesn’t seem right to get involved even if he thinks Bitty might feel the same way. So he keeps it to himself for the year.
Except then Bitty’s getting ready to graduate, and Jack shows up because they’re friends now, and at the end Bob is like, “You miss all the shots you never take,” and ofc Jack runs after Bitty and catches him getting ready to board a train or plane or something, and they kiss and you know…
Happily ever after.
Years later after Jack and Bitty get married, they’re doing some interview for some magazine and they’re like, How did you meet. And Jack just deadpans, “My dad was his sugar daddy.” And everyone thinks it’s this hilarious joke and Bitty is just dying inside ™ and they get chirped for it by everyone (because of course during his friendship with Bitty, Jack became besties with SMH) but it’s all in good fun. And every now and again when they’re visiting Bob and Alicia, Bitty will say, “Thanks sugar daddy,” to Bob, just to watch Jack’s face turn like 18 different colours.
(anyway I think this is gonna be my next long project)
Alright folks, it’s
time. My show has returned, and I am throwing myself back on this ride with
I’m adopting my
Discussapalooza style from here on out. Which is to say that this recap is
going to be very long. If there are any sections that you’d like me to
pull out and post seperately, let me know. Otherwise, you have been warned -
I like to go in depth.