Blowup-Doll

Revamp!!

The one stealing candy from the bucket: John Densmore

The one who can’t decide what to wear: Keith Moon

The one planning to egg someone’s house: Marc Bolan 

The one streaking through the neighborhood: Stan Lynch

The one who spiked the punch: John Paul Jones

The one who shows up drunk dressed as a princess: Jimmy Page

The one introducing a blowup doll as their date: John Entwistle

The one dressed as a giant dick: Rick Wright  (I’m Dick Rick!!)

The one throwing candy at the trick or treaters: Ray Manzarek

The one dancing with the skeleton decoration: Peter Tork 

The one dressed as the phantom and jumping out and scaring passerbys: Roger McGuinn

The ones dressed like Frankenstein and his bride: Roger Waters x Mike Nesmith

The one dressed as the wolf man who keeps howling at the moon: John Bonham

The one dressed as Dracula and trying to bite everyone: David Gilmour

The one dressed as the Mad Hatter and giving everyone over laced tea: Robby Krieger

The one hiding in the pool pretending to be a Kracken: Alice Cooper 

The one stealing toilet paper from the house to TeePee the neighbors: Charlie Watts

The ones dressed as Frank-N-Furter x Rocky: Carl Palmer x Brian May (someone write this!!)

The one running around with a bloody butcher’s knife: Roy Orbison

The one who switched the apples in the bobber with prunes: Todd Rundgren

The one dressed as a hooker: Tom Petty

The one trying to watch horror movies: Mick Jagger

The one singing drunk Halloween songs: Nick Mason

The one who wants to go ghost hunting: Jim Morrison

The one dressed as a zombie asking people if they can eat their brains: Gram Parsons 

The one wearing a shirt that reads this is my costume: Paul McCartney

The one who eats the candy in front of the children: Roger Meddows Taylor

The one who hogs the candy corn: Roger Daltrey 

The one sprawled out on the floor from too much punch chanting this is my happy place: David Bowie

The one dressed like a pirate asking everyone for their booty: Keith Emerson 

The one dressed like a cat who keeps saying everyone needs a little Pussy in their lives: George Harrison

The one dressed like a giant gator chasing people yelling I’m gonna eat ya!: Mike Campbell  (YES!!😂)

The one carving inappropriate thing into pumpkins: Chris Hillman

The one mooning trick or treaters: John Lennon  

The one getting fake blood everywhere scaring the children: Suzi Quatro

The one dressed as a mummy but used toilet paper so their costume keeps tearing: David Crosby

The one dressed as a witch threatening the bad trick or treaters that they’ll eat them: Syd Barrett

The one dressed like a playboy bunny and serving drinks: Freddie Mercury

The one dressed like a devil who keeps hitting on the one dressed like an angel: Davy Jones x Ron Blair

The one dressed like a flower who keeps slapping the guest dressed like a Honey Bee: Pete Townshend x Micky Dolenz 

The two dressed as cowboys pretending to have and old western showdown:  Jeff Lynne x Joan Baez

The one dressed as a dragon using an aerosol can and a lighter for their special effects: Stevie Nicks

The one dressed as a skeleton fighting with the fog machine: Gene Clark

The one dressed as a butterfly trying to put up the cobwebs and gets tangled: Howie Epstein

The one dressed like a clown surrounded by severed body parts handing out candy: Keith Richards

The one dressed like Popeye swearing at passerbys: Michael Clarke

The one who showed up in Gimp Gear as a costume: Brian Jones

The two dressed like Bonnie and Clyde: Benmont Tench x John Deacon

The one dressed as nun spanking people with their ruler: Robert Plant

The one dressed up like a detective asking everyone if they need a Dick: Bill Wyman

The one dressed like a librarian quoting book puns as pick up lines: Ringo Starr

The one yelling I must check your candy and then running away: Bob Dylan

58. Running around the backyard graveyard screaming I’m a ghost you can’t see me!!: EmmyLou Harris

59. Throwing rotten apples at assholes trick or treaters: Greg Lake

60. Is dressed like Tarzan and stealing away random ladies screaming she’s mine mwahaha: Gene Parsons

[I have created one for the upcoming holidays so stay tuned☺]

youtube

This video is one of my all time favorite videos in the world. Ugh.

🎃Happy Halloween 🎃

The one stealing candy from the bucket: Jimmy Page

The one who can’t decide what to wear: Rick Wright

The one planning to egg someone’s house: Paul McCartney

The one streaking through the neighborhood: Roger Daltrey

The one who spiked the punch: John Entwistle

The one who shows up drunk dressed as a princess: Percy Plant

The one introducing a blowup doll as their date: Greg Lake

The one dressed as a giant dick: Jeff Lynne

The one throwing candy at the trick or treaters: Brian Jones

The one dancing with the skeleton decoration: Suzi Quatro

The one dressed as the phantom and jumping out and scaring passerbys: David Bowie

The ones dressed like Frankenstein and his bride: Bob Dylan x Pete Townshend

The one dressed as the wolf man who keeps howling at the moon: George Harrison

The one dressed as Dracula and trying to bite everyone: Mike Campbell

The one dressed as the Mad Hatter and giving everyone over sugared tea: Gypsy (This was not on purpose this was shuffled I assure you!!)

The one hiding in the pool pretending to be a Kracken: Ringo Starr  (cut him off he’s had enough punch!! 😂)

The one stealing toilet paper from the house to TeePee the neighbors: Bonzo

The ones dressed as Frank-N-Furter x Rocky: Joey Ramone x Stan Lynch

The one running around with a bloody butcher’s knife: Jonesy

The one who switched the apples in the bobber with prunes: Ray Manzarek

The one dressed as a hooker: Gram Parsons

The one trying to watch horror movies: David Gilmour

The one singing drunk Halloween songs: Pamela Des Barres

The one who wants to go ghost hunting: John Lennon

The one dressed as a zombie asking people if they can eat their brains: Izzy Stradlin

The one wearing a shirt that reads this is my costume: Gregg Allman

The one who eats the candy in front of the children: Roger McGuinn

The one who hogs the candy corn: Michael Clarke

The one sprawled out on the floor from too much punch chanting this is my happy place: Stevie Nicks

The one dressed like a pirate asking everyone for their booty: Gene Parsons

The one dressed like a cat who keeps saying everyone needs a little Pussy in their lives: Tom Petty (I actually wrote this with him in mind and lo and behold this happens!!😂)

The one dressed like a giant gator chasing people yelling I’m gonna eat ya!: Iggy Pop

The one carving inappropriate thing into pumpkins: Howie Epstein

The one mooning trick or treaters: Alice Cooper

The one getting fake blood everywhere scaring the children: Nick Mason

The one dressed as a mummy but used toilet paper so their costume keeps tearing: Chris Hillman

The one dressed as a witch threatening the bad trick or treaters that they’ll eat them: Gene Clark

The one dressed like a playboy bunny and serving drinks: David Crosby

The one dressed like a devil who keeps hitting on the one dressed like an angel: Ron Blair x Roy Orbison

The one dressed like a flower who keeps slapping the guest dressed like a Honey Bee: Mike Nesmith x Marc Bolan

The two dressed as cowboys pretending to have and old western showdown: Jim Morrison x Benmont Tench (Whoo Floridian showdown!!)

The one dressed as a dragon using an aerosol can and a lighter for their special effects: Moonie (this fucking happened!!)

The one dressed as a skeleton fighting with the fog machine: John Densmore

The one dressed as a butterfly trying to put up the cobwebs and gets tangled: Keith Emerson

The one dressed like a clown surrounded by severed body parts handing out candy: Syd Barrett

The one dressed like Popeye swearing at passerbys: Joan Baez

The one who showed up in Gimp Gear as a costume: Todd Rundgren

The two dressed like Bonnie and Clyde: Roger Waters x Carl Palmer

The one dressed as nun spanking people with their ruler: Stu Sutcliffe

The one dressed up like a detective asking everyone if they need a Dick: Robby Krieger

[This was fun 😂]

~ 💘

5 Times The U.S. Almost Went To War

It’s impossible to guess what would have happened if the U.S. had gone to war at critical points in history, and thankfully we’ll never know. Here are five diplomatic nightmares that didn’t end in conflict.

1. When Japanese Prime Minister Takeo Fukuda launched a hammer at the United States: In 1978, the world looked on in horror as Japan hurled a 5-pound wooden mallet at Washington, D.C. from a military base in Okinawa. Fortunately for the world, however, somewhere along its 6,000-mile journey across the Pacific Ocean, the hammer hit a seagull in midair and fell into the water, foiling the attack and soothing diplomatic tensions between the two countries.

2. When Ethiopian ants carried a sleeping FDR back to their anthill in 1937: Both houses of congress demanded the U.S. launch an airstrike against Ethiopia in retaliation for the overnight theft of a sleeping President Roosevelt by a rogue colony of African fire ants. Though foreign leaders pleaded with the U.S. military to stand down, the airstrike was only called off once FDR woke up miles from his bed with his legs stuck down a massive ant hill, and used his remaining limbs to called the White House to confirm his safety.

3. The nightmare that was Eisenhower sending a blowup doll to meet Fidel Castro in his place: In 1959, Castro’s visit to the U.S. got off to an inauspicious start when the Cuban envoy was greeted not by the head of state, but by a naked, blond blowup doll with a surprised-looking mouth. Offended, Castro retaliated by aiming several nuclear missiles at Southern Florida, but he ultimately called it off when the United States sent then-Vice President Richard Nixon in a sexy maid costume as an apology.

4. The Barack Obama-Palm Reader Crisis: The nation was shocked when in 2011, Barack Obama issued a televised statement that he had visited Lady Virtue, a palm reader who had foreseen him going to war. The psychic had informed the president that his palm’s war line was longer than any she had ever seen, and that he should issue an attack on whatever country he wanted to. However, in the end war was avoided, as another palm reader—Lady Omega—told the president that his palm’s war line was actually a normal size, and that he had a great chance of failure if he declared war on another country.

5. When Jimmy Carter used the red telephone for a radio sweepstakes: In August of 1980, President Jimmy Carter was determined to be the 11th caller in 106.5 KISS-FM’s Annual Summer Sweepstakes, but the only phone he had at his disposal was the Washington-Moscow hotline. Even after informing Kosygin that he had just heard Eric Clapton on the radio and was not interested in nuclear war, Carter was unable to win weekend passes to Disneyland for four.

I took this boy out on a second date about a month ago & I paid a little over $80 for the both of us cause I thought it went well but then the bitch opened Grindr in front of me at the restaurant.. so he got canceled, then he wants to text me now asking to hangout after seeing a picture I posted of myself on IG the other day… I’m tired of the gays I need a blowup doll

8 Things not to do to trans folks

Written from a trans woman’s perspective. Can apply to trans men and non-binary trans people too. If any information is incorrect, please let me know.

1. Kill us, directly (homicide) or indirectly (suicide). Nor should you rape, assault, or harass us. The rates for trans murders are through the roof, especially for us trans people of color. If the hot girl at the bar you’ve been flirting with turns out to be trans and you’re not into that, respectfully let her know and move on. If a trans man messages you on Tinder and you ain’t feeling him, politely turn him down and keep it moving. Discovering a person is trans does not give you the right to kill them, no matter when or where you find out.

2. Misgender us. It’s not funny. It’s not cute. I don’t care if you’ve known them since they were born. It is not “preferred name”, it’s new name. It is not “preferred pronouns”, it’s just pronouns. My identity is not a suggestion. It is a command. ‘Tranny’, ‘Shemale’, ‘He-She’, ‘It’ (debatable, most in the community find it offensive), ‘Ladyboy’, ‘Thing’, ‘Drag Queen’, ‘Hermaphrodite’ are slurs and will not be tolerated. Slip-ups happen. Making a habit out of it will get you throatpunched.

3. Debate our trans identity. If a person says they’re trans, accept it. Do not throw science or religion at us. Do not say ‘But you can’t be trans because ______’. If a person has gone as far as to reveal their trans identity to you, chances are they are pretty sure of it.

4. Treat us like freakshows or science experiments. We understand you are naive and probably met very few out trans people. Let us control the conversation. We answer whatever questions we feel comfortable with. If we don’t want to talk about anything trans, respect that. Don’t be invasive or inappropriate with your topics, even if you are a loved one. Asking about our genitals and why we keep/change them should only be brought up by the trans person. And please, no “sneaky” photos or yelling ‘Is that a man?’ while I pass you in public. We do not exist for your curiosity or your consumption. .

5. Compare our beauty to being trans. We are not “pretty for a trans person”. We’re simply pretty. Don’t point out features that clock us as our birth gender, unless the trans person asks. ‘I can’t even tell you’re trans!’ is a microaggression and should not be said even if it’s coming from a good place. Never say ‘You looked a lot better as a guy/girl’ or ‘You’re too ______ to be a guy/girl’. Many trans people’s self-esteem are fragile as is. And it’s just a mean thing to say.

6. Throw gender expectations on us. Tips are okay (use sparingly). Demands are not. Not every trans girl wears makeup or dresses. Not every trans guy wants a beard. Not every trans person wants surgery. Not every trans person wants hormones. Not every trans person wants to change their appearance. Not every trans person is a man or a woman. Not every trans person is straight. No two trans people are the same.

7. Use us as sex toys or dirty secrets. We are not blowup dolls or tools for you to experiment with. Trans folks should not “just take what we can get”. We deserve and will have love, respect, relationships, marriages, and great sex! If we are aromantic or asexual, that’s okay too. If you do pursue a trans person, do not fetishize them. Listen to their wants and needs and respect them. Just like with every other human being you get jiggy with.

8. See us only by our gender. Being trans is only a small part of our lives. We are doctors, lawyers, teachers, military personnel, cat lovers, coffee addicts, ride motorcycles, play video games, eat like a horse, sing off-key but do it anyway, can quote any Tim Burton movie, speak four languages, see football as a religion, want children, can’t cook worth a damn, love to shop but hate to check our bank account. We are complex and kooky and human, just like you.