Blood-Wardens

Dragon Age Origins - a short summary
  • Warden:*fucks up*
  • Duncan:HELLO DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT GREY WARDENS
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  • Morrigan:why hello there.
  • Warden:I'm gonna fuck that.
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  • Duncan:drink this dark spawn blood child.
  • Warden:no thanks I'm vegan lol
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  • Alistair:being a grey warden is a privilege we are the only ones who can stop the blight every grey warden is precoius and important.
  • Duncan:you and Alistair go light a torch.
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  • Cailan:*dies*
  • Duncan:*also dies*
  • Loghain:I'm leaving lol
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  • Flemeth:I just saved your ass by turning into a dragon.
  • Warden:shit you’re old as balls.
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  • Dog:*appears from nowhere*
  • Warden:fuck me everyone died in Ostagar and this useless animal is the only survivor how is this possible?
  • Dog:rude.
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  • Leliana:I hear voices.
  • Warden:join me.
  • Sten:I killed a shitload of people just because I lost my sword and panicked.
  • Warden:join me.
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  • Cullen:kill all the mages please.
  • Warden:you're going to be hot as hell in 10 years I can tell you that.
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  • Wynne:there is a spirit inside me.
  • Warden:yeah I'm sure a lot of things were inside you at the time.
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  • Warden:*saves Arl Eamon's son*
  • Warden:*saves Arl Eamon*
  • Arl Eamon:thank you I guess I'll help you by saying some shit at a meeting.
  • Warden:yeah thanks a lot asshole.
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  • Alistair:I never licked a lamp post.
  • Warden:you're going to be a great king.
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  • Shale:I hate pigeons.
  • Warden:attack Alistair.
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  • Zevran:*tries to kill Warden*
  • Zevran:*fails*
  • Zevran:hey sorry for that can I join your party maybe?
  • Warden:sure why the fuck not.
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  • Oghren:Branka I finally found you!
  • Branka:go fuck yourself you ugly useless drunk piece of shit.
  • Oghren:ahah I love this bitch.
  • Oghren:I'm gonna kill her tho.
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  • Zathrian:help us some werewolves are attacking us.
  • Zathrian:I turn some elves in werewolves back in the day actually.
  • Zathrian:that could be my fault but don't blame me I'm immortal.
  • Warden:what is your damage.
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  • Alistair:look I don't want to be king don't make me become king ok?
  • Warden:I got you bro don't worry.
  • Loghain:*is executed*
  • Warden:nice now Alistair you're going to be king
  • Alistair:fuCK
  • Warden:you're also going to marry Anora.
  • Alistair:I hate you so fucking much
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  • Morrigan:quick have sex with me so you don't have to die killing the Archdemon.
  • Warden:what.
  • Morrigan:if you impregnate me you won't die but I'll leave forever and you will never see the baby again.
  • Warden:the downside being?!
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  • Warden:*kills the Archdemon*
  • Warden:shit that bitch witch was right I'm alive fuck yes
  • Alistair:you did it motherfucker what are you gonna do now
  • Warden:I think I'll disappear for 2 games I mean 10 years maybe idk