I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.
Yes, I’m a bi woman, this is someting about bi women. Are u bisexual? Do u want to meet bisexual friends? Ethics is needed to maintain life, but this specification should not sacrifice our self will. If you are a bisexual people, don’t be afraid, brave to date, brave to love, if you want to, can also choose to come out. Until today, however, most bisexual has failed to do so, to admit that you are bisexual still is a difficult thing. Bisexual group should unite, especially those bisexual single, now there’s a lot of bisexual dating sites, if you are a single bisexual, can spend more time looking for the right bisexual couples. Bisexual, meanwhile, also should be more efforts, let the others in the society to be able to understand the bisexual, for bisexual people for more rights.
“Will really nailed the description of bisexuality. He didn’t sugar coat it for his young son, and he didn’t make it into something that it’s not. The show handled the confession to his son with a lot of respect and represented the bisexual community really well in a pretty pivotal scene. When he began his confession he immediately disregarded the stereotypes that some people hold about bisexuality by saying, “I’m going to be blunt. Your father is bisexual. People think that word is dirty, but it’s not. It means I like men and women equally.” When his son questioned whether people assume he just likes men, Will replied that “Yeah, something like that, and if you’re lucky, once in your life you’ll find someone who really understands you.”
“He’s so sexy,” he said, “that you want to stand near him, because you’re hoping a little of what makes him so attractive will splash onto you, and then it will work for you.” Black, white, gay, straight, male, female – it seemed everyone I knew either wanted to sleep with Prince or wanted to be him, or both…
Prince was so ahead of me in my own understanding of what it means to be black in this country, to have a sexuality and gender expression at odds with the white men who try to tell everyone else how to behave – and to embrace what is amorphous, not easily categorized, beautiful, and yet unknown.
[Image: Photo of Scottish actor and bisexual right’s campaigner Alan Cumming, in a business suit taken against a city-scape. Superimposed in black is the following quote from an April 2014 interview with the USA’s National Public Radio in which he discusses the importance of always clearly identifying oneself as bisexual as a way to combat a binary view of sexuality:
“I still would define myself as bisexual partly because that’s how I feel but also because I think it’s important to — I think sexuality in this country especially is seen as a very black and white thing, and I think we should encourage the gray.”]
Now, more and more bisexual friends appear in our life, both bisexual men and bisexual women, and bisexual single, bisexual couples. In this world, there are heterosexual, gay, bisexual, asexual, such as a number of groups, they essentially no difference, just sexual orientation is not the same. (@bisexual kiss)
The colors might not show up correctly on all monitors, but these are some Converse All Stars in the bi-colors: Pink, Blue, and Purple. They were custom ordered–you might say “bispoke”–for me by my fantastic wife (Fierce Ally ™) and given to me as one of the best surprise Christmas presents I’ve ever gotten. I’ve had to resist the urge to wear them everywhere, with everything. (They’re not suitable for the weather this time of year in Boston, nor for every outfit or occasion.) But I’m wearing them as much as I can.
Including to the SuperCuts the other day, where the stylist noticed them and in the middle of the full store, said to me, “Oh, those are awesome. What do the colors mean?”
I had a split second to decide if I was going to “out” myself to an entire store full of strangers.
I went for it. “Oh, they’re the bisexual colors. I’m bisexual, and my wife got me these as a Christmas present.”
The stylist said, “That’s fantastic. They’re great.” The dude in the chair across from me swiveled around saying, “You have bisexual sneakers? I have to see them….” and seemed totally chill as well as admiring of them. A few other people within earshot just chuckled. Only one, who had been looking at them and listening, was noticeably silent and suddenly found her magazine very interesting.
My heart was racing. These little moments, unexpected, when we need to claim our identities in public, in front of strangers, still throw me more than anything else. But I figured if I was going to wear these shoes, well….I’d better be willing to walk the walk. And I was happy to do it looking so cool.
“That’s according to the Centers for Disease Control, which assessed sexual attitudes of more than 9,000 U.S. residents aged 18-44. The survey found that between 2011 and 2013, an increasing number of respondents reported same-sex sexual contact and bisexual self-identification.
As in other recent surveys, the CDC report found U.S. women outpaced men in reporting bisexuality. Two percent of men polled labeled themselves bisexual, up from 1.2 percent in the 2006-2010 survey. Women, at 5.5 percent, up from 3.9 percent in the previous poll, were nearly three times as likely to identify as bisexual than men.
Fittingly, the report notes an increase in the number of American women who report same-sex sexual contact. This was true of 14.2 percent of women polled in 2006-2010—a figure that rose to 17.4 in the most recent survey. Just 6.2 percent of men say they’ve had sexual contact with other men.
CNN notes that researchers identified some race-linked disparities among survey respondents. Hispanic and Latina women, at 11.2 percent, were least likely to have had sexual contact with other women. Conversely, 19.6 percent of white women and 19.4 percent of black women reported having had same-sex sexual contact.”
Q: As a bisexual person yourself, you’re known for being outspoken on bisexuality and gender fluidity. How do you explain bisexuality to people who still don’t get it?
: I’m not here to change people’s minds about whether they believe in bisexuality. All I’m saying is that I think my sexuality and most people’s sexuality is gray. And yeah, I like c@ck. I love c@ck. But I also feel that I have an attraction to women. I’ve never lost it, actually. I’ve always been attracted to both sexes, and whether I act on it or not is not anyone’s business, really. I’m not going to close myself off to the possibility of experience just because society says we must stick within these rigid boundaries.
I find it really self-hating that the gay community, which has been so bullied, are especially the ones who might be chiding people about their bisexuality. I think, let everyone be who they are.
The point I’m making is that it seems more ironic for a gay person to chide someone about their sexuality—they’re chiding all of us at heart. It seems particularly galling that that would be coming from a fellow LGBT person. I really do believe people today, especially young people, have a much more fluid idea about sexuality and gender, and I should think we’re in a really great place with the youth of today. It’s people who are a bit older who are still struggling with it.
Q: Reflecting on your early days as an activist: Why was it so important for you to start speaking out on LGBT issues?
Alan Cumming: I have a voice. I have a platform. I have a great life. I have a really great life, and I live the way I want to live. I am the person I want to be, and I feel like it’s my duty to take care of people who don’t have those opportunities. I have a personal connection to people who have been prejudiced against who are gay or bisexual or transgender.
I’m Scottish and I grew up with fairness and justice. Where I come from, it’s very important that we adhere to making sure that everyone is looking after each other. So, it’s partly my genetic makeup (laughs), but also in the privileged position that I am in, I feel it’s my duty to give back and help other people along.
Being an artist is understanding other people and wanting to reach and connect with other people, so helping other people is absolutely a part of that. When there’s injustice and persecution, I can’t really live in a society with that going on and not do something about it.
Review - Not My Father's Son: A Memoir by Alan Cumming
I’ve read my share of celebrity memoirs in the past (maybe, embarrassingly, more than I’d like to admit), so when I was given the opportunity to score an advanced reader copy of Alan Cumming’s memoir I jumped on it. Past experiences had left me with the expectation of a read that would be either a string of personal vignettes that aren’t very connected or emotionally engaging to funny but impersonal and on to the extremely narcissistic. Asking for this book, I hoped for something closer to the first variety, maybe examining the journey of a man coming in to his bisexuality and fame. What I never expected at all was the almost immediate punch in the emotional gut that was this memoir.
Cumming really dashed my expectations (and I’m glad for it). While his sexuality was present (bisexuality is named once and his former marriage to Hilary Lyon and his husband Grant Shaffer are both important components of the story he shares), this wasn’t a memoir that lingered with any real focus on that, or on the vagaries of his fame. Instead we have a deeply personal, and deeply engaging, exploration of Cumming’s relationship with and understanding of his deeply abusive father set amongst his personal journey to better understand a familial mystery set around his maternal grandfather and his mysterious death in post WWII Malaysia.
As a man who has also spent his entire life in a complicated non-relationship with an abusive father, this book drew me in like no other. The absolutely frank discussions of his father’s abuse, of the inner mind of an abused child, of his depression, his struggles with an eating disorder, his break downs, his triumphs and his tears are all so honest and engaging I think it would tug at the empathy of any who would read it. This is by far the most non-celebrity celebrity memoir I’ve ever picked up, and I’m so very thankful for it.
In the bisexual community (as in many others), representation is so vital to us, so sought after. I think it’s truly important to have also found non-sensationalized representation for victims of abuse, particular parental abuse. So many of our numbers have struggled with abuse. I for one am thankful for this memoir, for this representation. But for the fame, this could be my story. It could be any of ours.
I hate when straight girls say that they could never date a bisexual guy. They’re like, “I just could never get over the fact that he has had sex with a man before.” And then I think, well you know, you’ve also had sex with men before, so isn’t that a little hypocritical?
“If there’s one myth bantered about in the gay community the most, it has to be that bisexual men don’t exist; great authors, artists, and agitators have said as much in print. Which is why the earnest, bittersweet, and occasionally profound essays in Recognize are such winners. Thanks to some careful curation by editors Robyn Ochs (probably the most renowned bisexual speaker right now) and Dr. Herukhuti (billed here as H. Sharif Williams — a clinical sociologist, cultural studies scholar, sexologist, and author), the pieces in Recognize really let you feel as though you’re walking in the lives of these bi men, as diverse a bunch as one could find, and it helps us understand what’s probably the most misunderstood portion of LGBT. Moreover, Recognize is never clinical, never removed from the writer’s life; each essay further humanizes people who are too often caricatured.”
NBC Heterofying Canonically Queer Characters. Again. The Bi Edition.
When it was announced earlier this year that NBC was adapting Hellblazer as a show for their network, I was quick to share my excitement. I felt it would be the perfect compliment to Hannibal, and felt sure that the very existence of the latter show in all of its dark, gory glory stood as evidence that NBC could and would do John Constantine justice. That they wouldn’t have to greatly censor one of comicdom’s most popular characters.
The rest of my excitement was absolute joy that we were finally going to have a canonically bi character headlining a TV show on network television. Our community would have representation and recognition. Finally a character who wouldn’t be used to reinforce every bi stereotype under the sun. After the fantastic fan reception of Oberyn Martell in Game of Thrones, and of Dorian Gray and Ethan Chandler in Penny Dreadful, surely we’ve reached a time where depicting bisexual characters wouldn’t be such a terrible thing. It shouldn’t be.
I should have known better.
Instead, after months of potential bi viewers clamoring over their excitement for John Constantine in all of his bi-ness, NBC’s put out the statement that John’s same sex engagements just don’t take place frequently enough in the source material for them to give it any attention on the show. Maybe we’ll see John getting out of another man’s bed in 20 years.
This statement isn’t just telling us John isn’t going to be bi, despite the fact he is just that. This is NBC erasing another queer character in order to make him straight so he can be more relate-able to all the other straight white dudebros out there.
This is NBC validating the horrible biphobic idea that a bisexual person isn’t really bisexual if they haven’t had X relationships with same sex partners in close ratio to Y relationships with other sex partners. As hard as we fight against this very form of biphobia every day, we’ll now have its validity to look forward to every Friday night on NBC (ironically, perfectly complimented by Hannibal after its very same crime of heterofying Margot Verger).
This is NBC telling us that his sexuality just isn’t that important. Why is it that a character’s sexuality is just never that important when the character isn’t straight while every straight character on every single program on television is given great opportunity to explore their sexualities?
Let me tell you something, their sexuality just isn’t that damn important. Their sexuality is normative. Straight people have zero problem turning on the television and finding themselves represented (especially if they are white, straight and able-bodied). They don’t need any more representation. Their sexuality isn’t important. Ours is. Every demographic that falls out of the dominant heteronormative paradigm is more important. All of us, we’re starving for representation. Representation lets us know we’re normal too; we’re ok to be who we are. We are important. John Constantine’s sexuality is important. Our representation is important.
i would like to wake up some morning to news other than this, yet another example of blatant biphobia. and this is just one example of one thing. TIRED TIRED TIRED
tired of being erased, tired of being defined out of existence tired of being demonised tired of being criminalised tired of being told that i am not “real” tired of being told that i am a vector of disease (dis-ease!) tired of being told that i am a terrorist tired of being told to live a compartmentalised existence tired of being told it is not ok to be happy tired of watching the earth be destroyed tired of waking up to news like this tired of people attempting to force me into binaries tired of people telling me what i am tired of people ignoring my mixities because they do not ‘get’ mixities and complexities tired of being told i have the wrong body tired of being told my disabilities do not count because they are hidden tired of being defined by others tired of being colonised by others tired of people attempting to make me believe that if i am not all of who i am so that they can feel safer tired of being told that i cannot be more than one thing at a time tired of being disciplined and punished for thinking and acting the “wrong way” tired……………..