Birth of Jesus

Thesis: The less explicit the connection between a “Christmas song” and the mythological birth of Jesus, the more likely it is that the song is good.

Tier one is “actually about the nativity or some shit,” tier two is “Santa Claus is in it,” tier three is “about the actual day to day quasi-secular decorations and traditions,” tier four is “general winter merriment,” and fifth is “no lyrics or nobody pays any attention to the lyrics so whatever.”

love actually (2003) → sentence starters.
  • ❛ general opinion makes out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but i don’t see that. ❜
  • ❛ seems to me love is everywhere. ❜     
  • ❛ if you look for it, i’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find love actually is all around. ❜
  • ❛ this is shit, isn’t it ?
  • ❛ i love you even when you’re sick and look disgusting. ❜
  • ❛ did i mention that i love you ?
  • ❛ i’m sorry, i literally don’t have anybody else to talk to. ❜ 
  • ❛ there was more than one lobster present at the birth of jesus ? ❜
  • ❛ shit, i can’t believe i’ve just said that. and now i’ve gone and said ‘shit’. twice. ❜
  • ❛ i’ve worked out why i can’t find true love. ❜
  • ❛ no, i-i just thought i’d ask bluntly in case it was the right question and you needed someone to talk about it and no one had ever asked you. ❜ 
  • ❛ invite him out for a drink then casually mention you’d like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies. ❜
  • ❛ christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives. ❜ 
  • ❛ when i was young and successful i was greedy and foolish, and now i’m left with no one, wrinkled and alone. ❜
  • ❛ ask me anything, i’ll tell you the truth. ❜
  • ❛ i’m not going to act like a petulant child. ❜ 
  • ❛ who do you have to screw ‘round here to get a cup of tea and a biscuit ? ❜           
  • ❛ i have to say, __, this is a real pleasure, it’s a pleasure to find someone i can actually chat to. ❜
  • ❛ oh, christ, you haven’t got some horrible six-foot, tight-t-shirt wearing boyfriend ?
  • ❛ i’ll just be hanging around the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed. ❜  
  • ❛ christ, he might be injecting heroin into his eyeballs for all i know. ❜
  • ❛ get a grip. people hate sissies. ❜
  • ❛ no one’s gonna shag you if you cry all the time. ❜
  • ❛ aren’t you a bit young to be in love ?
  • ❛ well, basically you’re fucked, aren’t you ? ❜ 
  • ❛ you’re still sickeningly handsome, whereas i look like my aunt mildred. ❜
  • ❛ i love [pronoun] and true love lasts a lifetime. ❜
  • ❛ fuck - it’s freezing ! fuck !
  • ❛ it’s my favourite time of the day…driving you. ❜
  • ❛ it’s the saddest part of my day, leaving you. ❜
  • ❛ i’m nice. i really am. apart from my terrible taste in pie and…it would be great if we could be friends. ❜
  • ❛ it’s a…self-preservation thing, you see. ❜
  • ❛ you know, __, i’m sure [pronoun] is/are unique and extraordinary but general wisdom is that in the end, there isn’t just one person for each of us. ❜
  • ❛ i think it’s brilliant, i think it’s stellar. apart from the one obvious tiny little baby little hiccup. ❜ 
  • ❛ i promise to sing a song stark naked on tv on christmas eve. ❜   
  • ❛ why don’t you come upstairs in about ten seconds ? ❜ 
  • ❛ of course, if you want me to come over i will. ❜
  • ❛ sorry to be a bit forward and all that but…you don’t fancy going for a christmas drink, do you ? i mean, nothing implied. just maybe go and see something christmassy or something. ❜
  • ❛ normally, i’m really shy, takes me ages to get the courage up, so thank you. ❜ 
  • ❛ come on, come on, come on, we’re horribly late. ❜
  • ❛ the thing about romance is people only get together at the very end. ❜  
  • ❛ by the way, i feel bad. i never ask you how your love life is going. ❜
  • ❛ much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people i love is in fact…you. ❜
  • ❛ it’s a terrible, terrible mistake…but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. ❜
  • ❛ if you can’t say it at christmas, when can you, eh ? i’m actually yours. ❜ 
  • ❛ __, you’ve got nothing to lose and you’ll always regret it if you don’t. ❜    
  • ❛ let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love. ❜
Is “Sodomy” in the bible really referring to being gay? Yes and no but certainly not in the way your homophobic aunt wants you to believe

Alternative title “What the heck is sodomy, why is the bible against it and does that apply to my life as a gay person in 2017?” 

(Tw: discussion of rape as part of bible stories) 

“The sin of sodomy” refers to the story of Sodom in the bible (Genesis 19).

If you’re not familiar with it, here’s a quick summary:   

Angels disguise as men and visit Lot in the city of Sodom. He invites them to stay in his home. He was kind to them, prepared a meal for them and stuff like that. But just as they are about to go to sleep, all men of the entire city gather around the house and basically say “Give us those men, we want to rape them.” 

What a horrible thing! Imagine you invite visitors out of kindness and then a gang knocks on your door and threatens rape. We (hopefully) all agree that is a horrible awful situation and those are horrible men. But… is it about being gay? Are those men gay? 

Does that strike you as a likely thing to happen in 2017? All men in, let’s say, a rather small town in america, Greenville in North Carolina or Odessa, Texas… All of the men there are gay and form one big group of gay gang rapists? Is this story something that reflects gay communities in 2017? 

Rape is a crime, no doubt. It’s a crime of violence. 

Men do not rape (”sodomize”) people because they’re so attracted to them. They do it as an act of violence. A act of humiliation. A act of war. 

Were the men of Sodom gay or straight? They were violent, that’s all we know for sure. They didn’t want to have sex with these men because they were in love with them or because they were so beautiful and hot - they wanted to rape them. That’s what countless gangs of violent men have done through history: use rape as a act of war.  

How does our horrifying story continue? 

Lot goes outside and begs them to not do it. What a brave men! Faces a violent crowd to protect his visitors from violence! But wait, what the hecking heck is he doing now? Offering them his daughters instead! 

Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes”.  -  Genesis 19:7-8

What a disturbing solution. Offer rapists someone else to rape, so they let go off who they wanted to rape first? That being said.. If the “Sin of Sodom” was homosexuality, offering gay men to sleep with girls doesn’t sound like a helpful suggestion. If we go with the interpretation here that those men weren’t rapists, just very gay guys who wanted to have nice consensual sex with some sexy gay angels - then Lot who lived in that city where everyone was gay was somehow entirely blind to that fact. 

Again, is that relevant to gay relationships as we think of them today? I, as a gay person, can’t remember the last time I together with my entire gay city wanted to have sex but the one silly straight person in the town kept offering me his kids to have sex with. 

What’s the more likely interpretation? That they didn’t want consensual gay sex - they wanted to assault them, and specifically them (they ignored the daughters offered to them). Most likely they wanted to rape the angels because they were strangers. We can assume that they wanted to establish their dominance over them, wanted to humiliate them - as people in war (sadly and terrifyingly) do.   

How does the story end? God gets angry and destroys the city. This story follows the narrative of Noah’s flood or the tower of Babel - People are horrible, God destroys them. Your typical old testament bible story (that’s the stories before Jesus’ birth) in which God was often portrayed as vengeful and angry (and, just as a side note, Jesus literally died for you to free you from the former laws i.e the laws of the old testament. That’s why you don’t need to sacrifice animals and are allowed to wear clothes made of mixed fabrics or to shave or to get tattooed. Thankyou, Jesus!). 

So, if you are gay and wonder if “The sin of sodomy” applies to you: Yes. Please do not gather up with a large crowd and threaten rape. That’s not cool, regardless of your identity. Even if the one you threaten is not an angel. 

But does it apply to you in the way your homophobic aunt thinks? No. This story has absolutely no connection to you dating a person of the same gender or to you having consensual sex with them. 

4

My Lil Fam Bam👌🏽

This past week I’ve been watching my lil nephew, Grey, bc Chi and Ren’s work schedule has been clashing. Of course it wasn’t something I was excited to jump onto bc ya boy isn’t too great with kids lmao😂. He survived, was fed, booty clean, and knocked out before his parents came to get him everyday. 

Buttttt, today he ate almost a whole bag of Goldfish when I crashed out watching the same episode of Curious George on repeat bruh.. 😩I payed the price bc he wiped his lil dirty fingers on my brand new couch. Orange crumbs nd all. 😑If he was mine that ass would be toe up. 👏🏽Haha jp. Shit, it’s all love. Family always will come first. Couches are replaceable I guess.😅

Samurai Jack HC’s
  • Jack is aro-ace he’s only in love with his sword
  • I bet someone has sneezed before and it sounded a lot like they said Aku and Jack freaked out and was ready to fight on the spot
  • Aku gets manicures and thats why his fingers are so pointy
  • During Christmas time everyone think’s its celebrating the birth of Aku instead of the birth of Jesus, because Aku has the same color scheme as Christmas (Red, Green, White) and everyone calls it Akustmas instead of Christmas (and for Hanukkah they have a Menorah made to look like Aku, each of his antlers being a place for a candle)
  • Jack feels like an old grandpa and is very confused about all the “””doodads””” the kids are using these days
  • Jack has called 911 by accident thinking it would help him find a time portal home, because it’s an emergency
  • Jack rips off his shirt in battle just to be extra and he loves it
  • When Ashi and her sisters were kids they would all play hide and seek as often as they could 
  • Ashi’s favorite color is red (because it makes her think of lady bugs)
  • Jack’s favorite color is light blue (because it makes him think of the sky)
  • Scaramouche is gay and ready for a robot boyfriend
  • The baby Jack rescued in “Jack and the Baby” grew up to be a warrior just like Jack but doesn’t remember Jack that well. The only thing he remember’s is Jack’s glare in the reflection of his sword
  • Jack is always tired but the nature around him wakes him up

anonymous asked:

tbh i'm imagining icarus (being the fatalistic he is and prone to over exaggeration bc of it) would ask for super ridiculous stuff throughout the year /to be funny/ and then it's christmas and apollo's like "merry jesus birth i got you 700 types of rare tea and helios recorded a real star singing a lullaby for u"

!!!! OMG BEAUTIFUL, THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT WOULD GO