Holmes stories in six words

Bad stepdad nailed bed, trained snake

Treasure lost. Wife gained. Holmes sad.

They hired her for her hair.

Holmes dying. Watson crying. Holmes lying.

Binder full of women. Acidic response.

Six Napoleons? Oh, there it is.

Framed the nanny with a rock.

There’s always a catch, Dr Trevelyan.

The king’s a dick. She’s smarter.

Marry a Lord. Already married? Whoops.

Copy out this encyclopedia, ginger nut.

Egad! Her fiancé’s her disguised stepdad!

Secret daughter welcomed into woke family.

Seriously, who spins a whole carpet?

That burglary was fishy. Oranges everywhere!

Australians are all escaped murderers, probably.

Murder plus lion equals karma, sadly.

Watson, go tromp around the moors.

Idiot stalker fails at addressing mail.

“David” was a reference, you heathen.

Dog didn’t bark; horse needed washing.

Don’t accuse your son on circumstance.

Waterfalls make the best body dumps.

Surprise! Not dead. Are you ok?

My eyes’re dim, I cannot flee.

Golden Boy was the cheat, obviously.

He’s not homeless, he begs recreationally!

Harpooning pigs brings sailors to justice.

She’s foreign, not a bloody vampire.

Apparently dying wives trump rugby matches.

Poison is not a toy, Holmes!

It’s English, just drawn in hieroglyphics.

Blackmailer meets nothing left to lose.

Tracking is all about the tracks.

It was never about the sundial.

Telling geese apart is really hard.

She was under the old lady.

He’s fine, it’s ichthyosis. Stand down.

Act your age, professor. You’re creepy.

A lovely swim interrupted. Jellyfish dunnit!

Fuller’s earth my arse, Nine Fingers.

Everyone wants to marry Miss Smith.

Maybe don’t take the iffy job.


@albaparthenicevelut reblogged your post and added:

LOL Obi Wan is like ‘Are you sure you want to get yourself involved in Anakin’s lovelife. I mean he is kind of dramatic. This seems likely to backfire.’ And Satine is like ‘Someday Anakin is going to be the Duke of Mandalore. And our son is insane- kind, intelligent, brave, and just- but insane. Padme is kind, intelligent, and lovely AND has previous ruling experience. Her dossier was by far the most impressive.’ And Obi Wan is like, ‘You have dossiers on potential girlfriends for our son?!!’ And Satine is like ‘Did I say dossiers? ha ha ha Wow, I actually meant that I like Padme and think Anakin would like her too.’ And Obi Wan is just side-eyeing her like, ‘sure you did’.

#Satine Kryze has binders full of women#LOL#star wars crack

LOL, binders full of women. She totally does. She has to find appropriate matches for her boys, OK???

Padme’s going to be like “oh nice, the Duchess invited me over!” and when she gets there and Prince Anakin is there in all his princely attire, she is going to need medical care. I mean, she can barely handle the sight of 19-year-old Jedi Disaster Anakin showing up at her apartment in Attack of the Clones, and this time he’s dressed way fancier and has his shit maybe 56% more together. And of course even in this AU Anakin’s been having shirtless non-nightmares about her for a zillion years so obviously he’s going to be totally into it. Their Mando wedding is going to be the event of the CENTURY, and Satine is going to spare no expense. 

I feel like Satine and Leia would be like, BONDED. Leia loves the hell out of her shouty badass Mando grandma who teaches her how to master the art of Withering Disapproval of Stupid Men and how to make a mean martini. 

Episode 94: How do I even begin

An (incomplete) list of things that happened in this episode:

  • Matt teased us all by hinting they might not teleport somewhere good but he just wanted to floridly describe the plane shift process so that’s ok
  • Wouldn’t be Vox Machina if they weren’t terrifying/entertaining children and merchants 
  • “you are a pretty boy” Tary confirmed for Twink
  • The return of my favorite quote from this show: “rogues or rangers?”
  • Pike’s “Perrrrrccyyyyyyyyy” of disapproval at learning he made a contract with a devil 
  • Alpha got very sassy:

More recap under the cut:

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I used to think Cybird didn't put a lot of thought into the game tbh bc I thought "why would they bother" since they are Japanese etc but I think they've shown a lot of evidence a lot of thought went into the game and events and such to make it more realistic. So I really like that you find the little details, you teach a lot since some of it is between the lines, like the Al thing, I didn't realize that's what it meant. I thought he could literally just marry MC since she could choose anyone

Ch-choose “anyone?”


Now you’ve summoned Giles!

I wonder what kind of criteria Giles uses, when picking people for Princess.

All you need to marry the princess:

  • Are you Louis Howard?
  • Then no need to apply, come right in!
  • Are you not Louis Howard? Unfortunate!
  • Well then! Are you a noble?
  • Uh huh. Are you single?

Ever notice how Giles’ binder full of women never includes the lower classes, even though the lower classes can be eligible for the Elect System?

While class struggles are a main theme in MidCin, we don’t often get a look at how things would be if there were a vast difference in social strata, between MC and her suitor, as the Elect System propels her to one of the highest positions in the land, in just one day.

The first thing princess has to do is shed her origins, by taking all kinds of lessons to catch up to what would be expected of a princess. 

Usually Princess has only days before being turned out into society– something that would take an upper class young lady several years of dedicated studying.

The gist, in MidCin, is that one can come from the lower ranks, but you had better straighten up and act like you were part of the upper echelon all along.

Giles tends to introduce men with a dukedom or higher, Duke being a rank just below Archduke (where applicable), which is just below that of a Prince.

So Louis is a pretty big deal.

As there is no Prince of Wysteria, until Princess chooses one, Giles introduces those of a certain titled rank, as “good enough” for Princess.

These are the only exceptions:

  • Nico (”No” title)
  • Robert (No title)
  • Alyn (Knighthood)
  • Leo (Knighthood)
  • Albert (Knighthood)
  • Sid (Unknown title)
  • Giles (Unknown title + Knighthood)

Everyone else is usually a Duke, and I think the “lowest” was a Marquis?

Those with a knighthood, the very bottom of peerage, are either a friend of Giles, or a friend of Byron, so they get to cut the line.

All I’m saying is that if Gillian Anderson had been aware of the hiring of two female directors and writers a few months ago, her tweet would have read something to the likes of, “YES!”

Furthermore, if Fox HAD hired them before her “ungrateful” self “slammed” them, don’t you think they would have said, “uhm. Gillian. Babe. We have news for you”…?

What did FOX say in response to her tweet? Nothing. *crickets* Meanwhile, they were going through Mitt Romney’s binders full of women….

Screwball Ninja’s OUAT Mini-Review: 6x18 Where Bluebirds Die (If They’re POCs)

Originally posted by onceuponadaily

Like I’m relevant again!

  1. Empathetic!Emma is back for a limited time only, swooping in to promise Zelena that Emma and Regina will co-mom Baby Robyn if Zelena should go to the yellow-brick road in the sky. “We’ll protect her like she was our own,” says Emma. “No, I said look after her,” Zelena snapped– or would, if I were writing this show. But Regina and Emma, Complicated Co-Moms make me all warm and fuzzy so I’ll let it slide.
  2. Speaking of parenting, where is Baby Neal? Say what you will about how Zelena got her baby (WAS THAT STORYLINE NECESSARY?) but now that she’s here, Zelena cares enough to keep track of her and make sure she’s in good hands at all times. Meanwhile, my head canon is Maleficent snuck into the Charming loft, replaced Baby Neal with a stuffed dragon, and is quietly raising him without the Charmings even noticing. Zelena: Better Mom Than Snow White is not where I thought this season would end, but here we are.
  3. You know what’s funny? Both Zelena and Hook are quasi-tamed around Belle. Hook stops shouting and chills a bit and Zelena, whose normal greeting is along the lines of: “Greetings, useless morons!” practically cooes at her. “I have a favor to ask,” Zelena says gently. Apparently exposure to Belle lowers your voice *and* your blood pressure. I know, I know, Zelena tried to kill Belle and imprisoned Rumple and was morally responsible for Neal’s death but that was, like, three seasons ago. Emma tried to kill her last season and Rumple imprisoned her a week ago in the timeline so if Belle’s holding hands with Rumple we can spread the forgiveness around with a trowel, yeah? The show is equal opportunity redemption.
  4. Speaking of Belle, dig her 99% see-through top. Stay tuned for next week’s episode, where Belle wears see-through harem pants and sequin undies that read: MOR SCENES PLZ. If she doesn’t get a scene with Gideon soon the finale is going to Belle in the back room in nothing but pasties and G-string holding a sign that reads: “FOR MORE TEXT ‘BELLE’ TO 1-555-SCREEN-TIME.’
  5. Rumple spent most of this episode in the library researching how to wake the Blue Fairy. “That’s funny,” says Belle, “since I read Fairy and you don’t.” “The writers put amnesia potion in their coffee again,” says Rumple. “I should really label those bottles better.”
  6. What is Zelena’s hilariously green drink in Oz? Mountain Dew? Mello Yellow? Lemon-lime Gatorade? Because drinking any of those all day would explain Zelena’s manic behavior; she’s on a sugar rush. (Screwball Ninja asks the important questions.)
  7. I’m kind of Team Zelena on not giving the Tin Man all of her magic in exchange for his friendship. First off, it’s emotional blackmail; he keeps bringing up Zelena’s isolation in an attempt to get her to give him something, which is uncool. Secondly, this episode makes it seem like giving up ALL her magic is a permanent thing. If a random school friend who you hung out with the one time showed up years later and asked for your kidney, would you give it up? Zelena didn’t kill the Tin Man, she just didn’t save him at great cost to herself. That’s selfish but not evil. (Also I laughed at Zelena’s parting line that he might be saved off-screen by Dorothy in the future. “You’ll make it in fan-fic!” shouts Zelena.)
  8. This is the problem with Zelena all over– she was unforgivably horrible, terrible, and awful to Robin and Rumple (and Marian) but otherwise she’s a Tier 2 villain at best. A villainette, if you will. Whatever other evil she’s done, everyone else in Henry’s family tree has eclipsed her. Stealing kids? So has Pan, Snowing, Rumple, Black Fairy. Caused mass amnesia? So has Regina and Dark Swan. Put someone in a Sleeping Curse? So has the Evil Queen. Turned people into animals? So have Rumple and Regina. Imprisonment? So has Regina, Rumple, Snowing, Black Fairy, Dark Swan, and Pan. Come back from the dead? So have Hook and Rumple. Screwed with the timeline? So have Hook and Emma and Henry as the Author. Zelena’s got one of the lowest death counts on the show other than Emma, who is ostensibly supposed to be a hero.
  9. Real talk– the treatment of POCs on this show is horrendous: they’re killed, imprisoned, or turn out to be Crazy White People in disguise– and sometimes all three. The Dragon was killed twice and controlled and imprisoned, Lancelot was “killed” then imprisoned and was a Crazy White Woman for a few episodes, Tamara was murdered, Jafar was murdered, Jafar, Jasmine, and Aladdin were imprisoned, Nemo was *almost* killed but pulled through, Aesop was a Crazy White Guy, Marian was killed three times in different timelines and was also a Crazy White Woman for half a season, Henry Sr. was murdered, Sidney was imprisoned three times, Gus-Gus was murdered, Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother was murdered, Nimue was controlled and murdered, Merlin was controlled and murdered, Guinevere was controlled, Rapunzel was imprisoned, and the Tin Man died of his curse. YEESH. (I’m not even counting Regina ‘cause she’s a main character and the rules are a bit different for those.) I think the most charitable interpretation is the show casts POCs in minor roles without stopping to think that the peasants exist to be force-choked by the various branches of Henry’s murderous family tree in Act 3. But whatever the motivations, this shit has got to stop. Tiger Lily has a past with the Black Fairy? STAY AWAY FROM STORYBROOKE! Chill with Ursula, Poseidon, Rapunzel, Mulan, and Lancelot in “Survived This Show With Our Lives and Dignity” corner.
  10. I’m unhappy with the subtext around Zelena giving up her magic because, thanks to the censorship guidelines of the Hayes Production Code of the 30′s, magic is coded as potentially queer. (Short answer: censorship lumped all the socially ‘forbidden’ things in one basket, which is why there’s a lot of Sexy Magic Gay Villains Who Are Punished With Death out there. It goes: Sexy Women are Other, Magic is Other, Queer is Other, therefore Sexy Magical Women can also be shorthand for Queer. This is also why most magic users in OUAT have weaponized cleavage. See this essay for more!) In OUAT magic is something you’re born with and it makes you special but people also hate you and bully you for it– and then there was that subplot in 3B where Zelena told Emma that if she kisses a boy she’ll lose what makes her special forever. Anyway, I don’t see why Zelena has to give up her magic to gain her family, especially when the show nixed that idea in 4A when Emma wanted to de-magic herself to avoid hurting her family but Elsa told her to “love herself” instead. Here’s hoping Zelena gets her magic back for the finale.
  11. And now for the Storybrooke Rom-com part of the episode, where Snow inexplicably has binders full of women … in wedding dresses. Is the show trying to foist the blame for Emma’s Conehead!GraceKelly Nuptial No-no onto Snow? And was Snow planning Emma’s wedding before there was even a guy in the picture? Is the first page a picture of a headless tux with the names Graham August Jefferson Neal Hook Walsh Elsa and Hook successively crossed out? That’s creepy, Snow. I thought S1-3 Snow was concerned about finding her family and bringing them home from foreign shores alive, not Vague Future Party Planning.
  12. I’m side-eying Snow for blurting out that Emma should get married pronto because: “The people need hope!” Is Hope the name of the Storybrooke wedding planner? Because I’m pretty sure at this point what “the people” want is for Henry’s entire family tree to fall down a portal so they can walk on Main Street without being force-choked or turned into animals. Also, who is going to be serving cocktails at this wedding? Who is going to be cleaning up after this wedding? Hint: it ain’t the royals. Book a venue so you can take several seats, Snow; leave the mayoring to Regina.
  13. CS is in a weird state of liminal banging where they’re living together and are engaged so they’ve LOGICALLY banged, but haven’t canonically banged (no bedroom scenes, references to past sex, scenes of undressing/dressing, references to wedding nights, etc.). The opening pancakes scene is another example: Emma’s in a robe with no makeup and dry hair, which implies she was previously in bed, ostensibly with Hook. Hook’s fully dressed but hey, maybe he’s from the Rumple school of Immediate Post-Coital Pantsing. But then Hook seems genuinely angry when Snow interrupts his make out session with Emma. Glaring at Snow, agreeing that she’s interrupting, hissing that he’s going to take a bracing shower– this is all behavior that’s dickish but makes sense if he’s NEVER climbed Emma’s beanstalk but weirdly hostile if he’s climbed it multiple times last night. Unless this is just a tone thing and Hook should have been playing it comedically but instead went for REALLY UPSET? I think they’re saving any bedroom scenes for the CS wedding night and that’s odd for a show that had Belle in lingerie straight-up looking for Rumple in their bed in 2x04– it’s not like the show is pooh-poohing premarital penetration. What’s going on, here? You couple this with Charming’s “GUESS I HAVE TO GET MY WALLET TO PAY FOR THIS WEDDING” moment and his odd shaming of Snow for banging Whale in S1 (and what about him almost impregnating Kathryn, huh?) and there’s a Happy Days From Hell feel to this episode. But at least Emma looked happy for the first time in a long while! That counts for something.
  14. Regina was a judgmental meanie this episode but at least she apologized at the end; the real problem is Zelena is one of the few people that can upstage Regina in any given scene. Unforgivable!
  15. Back to Zelena! I think her narrative function should be Truth-spilling Magical Aunt because the actresses’ comic timing is superb. Only Zelena could get away with calling the Black Fairy a “noir-colored nit.” Ha! Since no-one likes her anyway she can get away with telling everybody unpleasant truths. Zelena, as a character, is a one-dimensional cartoon that’s basically a genderswapped Snidely Whiplash; the fact I have any positive emotions for her at all is through the actresses’ sheer force of will. Zelena might be in S7? I’m oddly psyched for that. Who would have thought?

i thought george bush was the worst possible thing to happen to the US but at this point i’d welcome his sorry ass back with open arms. mccain + palin is a dream team compared to that ugly ass jack o lantern looking fuck and mike “i hate the gays” pence. i’d hoot and holler for ol’ uncle mitt and all his binders full of women if it meant trump wasn’t elected

Campaign-ending moves:
  • 2004: Candidate’s voice cracks in a funny way while celebrating his campaign’s momentum in primaries. Losing candidate in general kind of rich and stiff and out of touch.
  • 2008: Vice Presidential candidate says being able to see Russia from parts of Alaska means she has foreign policy experience.
  • 2012: Candidate is kind of rich and stiff and out of touch, clumsily refers to his collection of resumes submitted by women’s groups as “binders full of women.”
  • 2016: Nothing. Bragging about sexual assault? Calling for the assassination of your opponent? Claiming you’ll only accept the results of the election if you win? All totally fine apparently.

Well said!!!

“Dear Lego company:

My name is Charlotte. I am 7 years old and I love legos but I don’t like that there are more Lego boy people and barely any Lego girls.

Today I went to a store and saw legos in two sections the girls pink and the boys blue. All the girls did was sit at home, go to the beach, and shop, and they had no jobs but the boys went on adventures, worked, saved people, and had jobs, even swam with sharks.

I want you to make more Lego girl people and let them go on adventures and have fun ok!?!

Thank you.

From Charlotte.”

(h/t Miss Representation and Binders Full Of Women)

anonymous asked:

What happened to your breasts?

::looks down own shirt::


What the frickity frack snick snack tic tac. I have breasts?! SHIT.

Look anon, maybe you were trying to be mean. 

Maybe you were genuinely curious, because a lot of people out there are genuinely curious about trans people. 

But the truth is, it’s not really any of your business unless I post about it. I don’t really like talking about my body. Besides general dysphoria, I am just not super comfortable about it anyways. My body is mine. And even though I’m trans, and you have questions, that does not give you the right to invade my bubble and ask about it. You wouldn’t do that to a cisgendered person. You wouldn’t walk up to someone on the street whilst wearing a mask and yell “WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR DICK?” Don’t do it to me. 

I will however, this one time, respond with an honest, mostly unsnarky answer for you, because I’m going to choose to believe that you were just curious. But even so, that’s no excuse, so after that, if I get any questions like this again, I will be the most sarcastic little shit you ever saw. Cool? Cool. Because the internet is literally filled to the gills with information about how trans people pass, and you don’t need to know how I personally do it. You have the power of the interwebs my friend. Use it. 


So, trans guys, or FTM (female to male) trans peeps, or genderfluid people, or whoever wants to really, have the option to wear something called a “binder”. 

No. This is not the plastic thing covered in unicorns and rainbows and signed Lisa Frank that you maybe got a few fingers shut in during grade school.  It’s not Mitt Romney’s “binder” full of women.

(Not this) 

Nope. This thing is made of a stretchy material, usually a nylon spandex blend, and can either be long enough to tuck in your pants, or it can end around your ribs. 

(TA DA! This is Underworks Tri Top Binder)

Binders are kind of pricey (think a nice bra from Victoria Secret or the like amount) and are tricky little bastards to put on. They can easily be ordered from companies like Underworks or GC2B, (but if you have a nosy family like mine who have to know everything you purchase, or what packages you receive, they can be hard to get your hands on. Purchase carefully my fellow trans guys! Have it sent to a friend if you’re worried!

Basically they bind your chest and make you look more flat. If you pair one of these bad boys with a few layers, you can, generally speaking, achieve a pretty flat chest.

I own one such torture device. Mine is actually too small. I have a medium, and actually need a large because I have broad shoulders and didn’t factor that into account, but couldn’t return it because getting the one was tricky enough. So I cut a sizable hole in the back so it stretches a bit more, and it’s semi functional now. I can wear it for a few hours at a time safely at least with it hurting. (Oh, I should mention, binding can be dangerous if done more that 8-12 hours, and don’t try binding with ace bandage or tape or a binder that’s too small. BAD. Don’t do it, or drugs, and stay in school.)

So every picture on my tumblr currently? Either features me wearing a binder or sports bra and lots of layers. And when I hadn’t figured out I was trans? I tried as hard as I could to fit in, (because when your family is religious and expects you to be what you were born as, and you’re already a gangly 6′5″ person, you might just try and do this) and I wore a padded bra, giving me the appearance of having more breasts than I actually had. 

As much as I wish the Angel of Titty Vengeance came during the night and lopped them off for whatever reason, they’re still there. 

Thanks for reminding me.

Now please leave me alone and stop filling my inbox with these kinds of questions, because I’m just not in the mood for it today. 

Go find the interwebs of which I spoke and do your own research. Pretty please.