Binder-full-of-women

Holmes stories in six words

Bad stepdad nailed bed, trained snake

Treasure lost. Wife gained. Holmes sad.

They hired her for her hair.

Holmes dying. Watson crying. Holmes lying.

Binder full of women. Acidic response.

Six Napoleons? Oh, there it is.

Framed the nanny with a rock.

There’s always a catch, Dr Trevelyan.

The king’s a dick. She’s smarter.

Marry a Lord. Already married? Whoops.

Copy out this encyclopedia, ginger nut.

Egad! Her fiancé’s her disguised stepdad!

Secret daughter welcomed into woke family.

Seriously, who spins a whole carpet?

That burglary was fishy. Oranges everywhere!

Australians are all escaped murderers, probably.

Murder plus lion equals karma, sadly.

Watson, go tromp around the moors.

Idiot stalker fails at addressing mail.

“David” was a reference, you heathen.

Dog didn’t bark; horse needed washing.

Don’t accuse your son on circumstance.

Waterfalls make the best body dumps.

Surprise! Not dead. Are you ok?

My eyes’re dim, I cannot flee.

Golden Boy was the cheat, obviously.

He’s not homeless, he begs recreationally!

Harpooning pigs brings sailors to justice.

She’s foreign, not a bloody vampire.

Apparently dying wives trump rugby matches.

Poison is not a toy, Holmes!

It’s English, just drawn in hieroglyphics.

Blackmailer meets nothing left to lose.

Tracking is all about the tracks.

It was never about the sundial.

Telling geese apart is really hard.

She was under the old lady.

He’s fine, it’s ichthyosis. Stand down.

Act your age, professor. You’re creepy.

A lovely swim interrupted. Jellyfish dunnit!

Fuller’s earth my arse, Nine Fingers.

Everyone wants to marry Miss Smith.

Maybe don’t take the iffy job.

Shoot Watson? I KILL YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.

@albaparthenicevelut reblogged your post and added:

LOL Obi Wan is like ‘Are you sure you want to get yourself involved in Anakin’s lovelife. I mean he is kind of dramatic. This seems likely to backfire.’ And Satine is like ‘Someday Anakin is going to be the Duke of Mandalore. And our son is insane- kind, intelligent, brave, and just- but insane. Padme is kind, intelligent, and lovely AND has previous ruling experience. Her dossier was by far the most impressive.’ And Obi Wan is like, ‘You have dossiers on potential girlfriends for our son?!!’ And Satine is like ‘Did I say dossiers? ha ha ha Wow, I actually meant that I like Padme and think Anakin would like her too.’ And Obi Wan is just side-eyeing her like, ‘sure you did’.

#Satine Kryze has binders full of women#LOL#star wars crack

LOL, binders full of women. She totally does. She has to find appropriate matches for her boys, OK???

Padme’s going to be like “oh nice, the Duchess invited me over!” and when she gets there and Prince Anakin is there in all his princely attire, she is going to need medical care. I mean, she can barely handle the sight of 19-year-old Jedi Disaster Anakin showing up at her apartment in Attack of the Clones, and this time he’s dressed way fancier and has his shit maybe 56% more together. And of course even in this AU Anakin’s been having shirtless non-nightmares about her for a zillion years so obviously he’s going to be totally into it. Their Mando wedding is going to be the event of the CENTURY, and Satine is going to spare no expense. 

I feel like Satine and Leia would be like, BONDED. Leia loves the hell out of her shouty badass Mando grandma who teaches her how to master the art of Withering Disapproval of Stupid Men and how to make a mean martini. 

Episode 94: How do I even begin

An (incomplete) list of things that happened in this episode:

  • Matt teased us all by hinting they might not teleport somewhere good but he just wanted to floridly describe the plane shift process so that’s ok
  • Wouldn’t be Vox Machina if they weren’t terrifying/entertaining children and merchants 
  • “you are a pretty boy” Tary confirmed for Twink
  • The return of my favorite quote from this show: “rogues or rangers?”
  • EMPRESS SALDA YESSSSSS AND HER CHILDREN AND THE ANGEL BABIES AND EMPRESS SALDA RESTORING PEACE AND ORDER OMG YESSSSSS THANK YOU SO MUCH
  • Pike’s “Perrrrrccyyyyyyyyy” of disapproval at learning he made a contract with a devil 
  • Alpha got very sassy:

More recap under the cut:

Keep reading

Screwball Ninja’s OUAT Mini-Review: 6x18 Where Bluebirds Die (If They’re POCs)

Originally posted by onceuponadaily

Like I’m relevant again!

  1. Empathetic!Emma is back for a limited time only, swooping in to promise Zelena that Emma and Regina will co-mom Baby Robyn if Zelena should go to the yellow-brick road in the sky. “We’ll protect her like she was our own,” says Emma. “No, I said look after her,” Zelena snapped– or would, if I were writing this show. But Regina and Emma, Complicated Co-Moms make me all warm and fuzzy so I’ll let it slide.
  2. Speaking of parenting, where is Baby Neal? Say what you will about how Zelena got her baby (WAS THAT STORYLINE NECESSARY?) but now that she’s here, Zelena cares enough to keep track of her and make sure she’s in good hands at all times. Meanwhile, my head canon is Maleficent snuck into the Charming loft, replaced Baby Neal with a stuffed dragon, and is quietly raising him without the Charmings even noticing. Zelena: Better Mom Than Snow White is not where I thought this season would end, but here we are.
  3. You know what’s funny? Both Zelena and Hook are quasi-tamed around Belle. Hook stops shouting and chills a bit and Zelena, whose normal greeting is along the lines of: “Greetings, useless morons!” practically cooes at her. “I have a favor to ask,” Zelena says gently. Apparently exposure to Belle lowers your voice *and* your blood pressure. I know, I know, Zelena tried to kill Belle and imprisoned Rumple and was morally responsible for Neal’s death but that was, like, three seasons ago. Emma tried to kill her last season and Rumple imprisoned her a week ago in the timeline so if Belle’s holding hands with Rumple we can spread the forgiveness around with a trowel, yeah? The show is equal opportunity redemption.
  4. Speaking of Belle, dig her 99% see-through top. Stay tuned for next week’s episode, where Belle wears see-through harem pants and sequin undies that read: MOR SCENES PLZ. If she doesn’t get a scene with Gideon soon the finale is going to Belle in the back room in nothing but pasties and G-string holding a sign that reads: “FOR MORE TEXT ‘BELLE’ TO 1-555-SCREEN-TIME.’
  5. Rumple spent most of this episode in the library researching how to wake the Blue Fairy. “That’s funny,” says Belle, “since I read Fairy and you don’t.” “The writers put amnesia potion in their coffee again,” says Rumple. “I should really label those bottles better.”
  6. What is Zelena’s hilariously green drink in Oz? Mountain Dew? Mello Yellow? Lemon-lime Gatorade? Because drinking any of those all day would explain Zelena’s manic behavior; she’s on a sugar rush. (Screwball Ninja asks the important questions.)
  7. I’m kind of Team Zelena on not giving the Tin Man all of her magic in exchange for his friendship. First off, it’s emotional blackmail; he keeps bringing up Zelena’s isolation in an attempt to get her to give him something, which is uncool. Secondly, this episode makes it seem like giving up ALL her magic is a permanent thing. If a random school friend who you hung out with the one time showed up years later and asked for your kidney, would you give it up? Zelena didn’t kill the Tin Man, she just didn’t save him at great cost to herself. That’s selfish but not evil. (Also I laughed at Zelena’s parting line that he might be saved off-screen by Dorothy in the future. “You’ll make it in fan-fic!” shouts Zelena.)
  8. This is the problem with Zelena all over– she was unforgivably horrible, terrible, and awful to Robin and Rumple (and Marian) but otherwise she’s a Tier 2 villain at best. A villainette, if you will. Whatever other evil she’s done, everyone else in Henry’s family tree has eclipsed her. Stealing kids? So has Pan, Snowing, Rumple, Black Fairy. Caused mass amnesia? So has Regina and Dark Swan. Put someone in a Sleeping Curse? So has the Evil Queen. Turned people into animals? So have Rumple and Regina. Imprisonment? So has Regina, Rumple, Snowing, Black Fairy, Dark Swan, and Pan. Come back from the dead? So have Hook and Rumple. Screwed with the timeline? So have Hook and Emma and Henry as the Author. Zelena’s got one of the lowest death counts on the show other than Emma, who is ostensibly supposed to be a hero.
  9. Real talk– the treatment of POCs on this show is horrendous: they’re killed, imprisoned, or turn out to be Crazy White People in disguise– and sometimes all three. The Dragon was killed twice and controlled and imprisoned, Lancelot was “killed” then imprisoned and was a Crazy White Woman for a few episodes, Tamara was murdered, Jafar was murdered, Jafar, Jasmine, and Aladdin were imprisoned, Nemo was *almost* killed but pulled through, Aesop was a Crazy White Guy, Marian was killed three times in different timelines and was also a Crazy White Woman for half a season, Henry Sr. was murdered, Sidney was imprisoned three times, Gus-Gus was murdered, Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother was murdered, Nimue was controlled and murdered, Merlin was controlled and murdered, Guinevere was controlled, Rapunzel was imprisoned, and the Tin Man died of his curse. YEESH. (I’m not even counting Regina ‘cause she’s a main character and the rules are a bit different for those.) I think the most charitable interpretation is the show casts POCs in minor roles without stopping to think that the peasants exist to be force-choked by the various branches of Henry’s murderous family tree in Act 3. But whatever the motivations, this shit has got to stop. Tiger Lily has a past with the Black Fairy? STAY AWAY FROM STORYBROOKE! Chill with Ursula, Poseidon, Rapunzel, Mulan, and Lancelot in “Survived This Show With Our Lives and Dignity” corner.
  10. I’m unhappy with the subtext around Zelena giving up her magic because, thanks to the censorship guidelines of the Hayes Production Code of the 30′s, magic is coded as potentially queer. (Short answer: censorship lumped all the socially ‘forbidden’ things in one basket, which is why there’s a lot of Sexy Magic Gay Villains Who Are Punished With Death out there. It goes: Sexy Women are Other, Magic is Other, Queer is Other, therefore Sexy Magical Women can also be shorthand for Queer. This is also why most magic users in OUAT have weaponized cleavage. See this essay for more!) In OUAT magic is something you’re born with and it makes you special but people also hate you and bully you for it– and then there was that subplot in 3B where Zelena told Emma that if she kisses a boy she’ll lose what makes her special forever. Anyway, I don’t see why Zelena has to give up her magic to gain her family, especially when the show nixed that idea in 4A when Emma wanted to de-magic herself to avoid hurting her family but Elsa told her to “love herself” instead. Here’s hoping Zelena gets her magic back for the finale.
  11. And now for the Storybrooke Rom-com part of the episode, where Snow inexplicably has binders full of women … in wedding dresses. Is the show trying to foist the blame for Emma’s Conehead!GraceKelly Nuptial No-no onto Snow? And was Snow planning Emma’s wedding before there was even a guy in the picture? Is the first page a picture of a headless tux with the names Graham August Jefferson Neal Hook Walsh Elsa and Hook successively crossed out? That’s creepy, Snow. I thought S1-3 Snow was concerned about finding her family and bringing them home from foreign shores alive, not Vague Future Party Planning.
  12. I’m side-eying Snow for blurting out that Emma should get married pronto because: “The people need hope!” Is Hope the name of the Storybrooke wedding planner? Because I’m pretty sure at this point what “the people” want is for Henry’s entire family tree to fall down a portal so they can walk on Main Street without being force-choked or turned into animals. Also, who is going to be serving cocktails at this wedding? Who is going to be cleaning up after this wedding? Hint: it ain’t the royals. Book a venue so you can take several seats, Snow; leave the mayoring to Regina.
  13. CS is in a weird state of liminal banging where they’re living together and are engaged so they’ve LOGICALLY banged, but haven’t canonically banged (no bedroom scenes, references to past sex, scenes of undressing/dressing, references to wedding nights, etc.). The opening pancakes scene is another example: Emma’s in a robe with no makeup and dry hair, which implies she was previously in bed, ostensibly with Hook. Hook’s fully dressed but hey, maybe he’s from the Rumple school of Immediate Post-Coital Pantsing. But then Hook seems genuinely angry when Snow interrupts his make out session with Emma. Glaring at Snow, agreeing that she’s interrupting, hissing that he’s going to take a bracing shower– this is all behavior that’s dickish but makes sense if he’s NEVER climbed Emma’s beanstalk but weirdly hostile if he’s climbed it multiple times last night. Unless this is just a tone thing and Hook should have been playing it comedically but instead went for REALLY UPSET? I think they’re saving any bedroom scenes for the CS wedding night and that’s odd for a show that had Belle in lingerie straight-up looking for Rumple in their bed in 2x04– it’s not like the show is pooh-poohing premarital penetration. What’s going on, here? You couple this with Charming’s “GUESS I HAVE TO GET MY WALLET TO PAY FOR THIS WEDDING” moment and his odd shaming of Snow for banging Whale in S1 (and what about him almost impregnating Kathryn, huh?) and there’s a Happy Days From Hell feel to this episode. But at least Emma looked happy for the first time in a long while! That counts for something.
  14. Regina was a judgmental meanie this episode but at least she apologized at the end; the real problem is Zelena is one of the few people that can upstage Regina in any given scene. Unforgivable!
  15. Back to Zelena! I think her narrative function should be Truth-spilling Magical Aunt because the actresses’ comic timing is superb. Only Zelena could get away with calling the Black Fairy a “noir-colored nit.” Ha! Since no-one likes her anyway she can get away with telling everybody unpleasant truths. Zelena, as a character, is a one-dimensional cartoon that’s basically a genderswapped Snidely Whiplash; the fact I have any positive emotions for her at all is through the actresses’ sheer force of will. Zelena might be in S7? I’m oddly psyched for that. Who would have thought?

i thought george bush was the worst possible thing to happen to the US but at this point i’d welcome his sorry ass back with open arms. mccain + palin is a dream team compared to that ugly ass jack o lantern looking fuck and mike “i hate the gays” pence. i’d hoot and holler for ol’ uncle mitt and all his binders full of women if it meant trump wasn’t elected

I’m writing a paper on two passages one in the wife of bath’s prologue and one in the franklin’s tale that are basically just lists summarizing the stories of classical women & also mentioning chaucer’s legend of good women which is longer but the same basic concept which means I’m using phrases like “catalogues of women” and “lists of women” a lot and they all unfortunately remind me of “binders full of women” 

prtypooper replied to your post “A Million Ways To Die In The West and Feminism”

Also, speaking of Seth being a Feminist, I read in an interview, when he was accused of being a misogynist after the Oscars, he said that he could never be one, stating also that his whole team was female. His business manager, his main producer at FuzzyDoor, and said other stuff about it that I don’t remember :p

Thank you for your detailed response. 

Yeah, I remember that comment, and I cringe. Bill O'Reilly had women on his team and I wouldn’t call him the hero of feminism. It is a bit like Romney’s binders full of women, which is a another discussion for a different post. Just because you have women on your team doesn’t mean you treat them well. 

That said, I don’t think he’s sexist. It’s not an either or situation. There are people who believe in feminist values and actively reject that label. Mostly of what it has been associated with over the last couple of decades. The whole man-hating bitchy woman game. It’s more a comment on the label than what it represents. 

Help me write a paper on A Million Ways To Die In The West and feminism.

Campaign-ending moves:
  • 2004: Candidate’s voice cracks in a funny way while celebrating his campaign’s momentum in primaries. Losing candidate in general kind of rich and stiff and out of touch.
  • 2008: Vice Presidential candidate says being able to see Russia from parts of Alaska means she has foreign policy experience.
  • 2012: Candidate is kind of rich and stiff and out of touch, clumsily refers to his collection of resumes submitted by women’s groups as “binders full of women.”
  • 2016: Nothing. Bragging about sexual assault? Calling for the assassination of your opponent? Claiming you’ll only accept the results of the election if you win? All totally fine apparently.