–tbh i can definitely imagine Lord ordering Raskreia to learn how to dance bc… etiquette or smth idk lol I like the image of Raizel teaching her (but also if Raizel didn’t know how to dance) (Just them stepping on each other’s feet the entire time) (Gejutel is utterly confused by Lord’s intentions) (Lord seems pleased with himself because his daughter is forming closer bonds) (In reality Raskreia is 1000% disgruntled)
In the beginning, there was only a churning turmoil of chaos. At the heart of chaos, where all things became one, appeared an Egg. Having tumbled from the vortex, the Egg gave rise to the Original One. From itself, two beings the Original One did make. Time started to spin. Space began to expand. From itself again, three living things the Original One did make. The two beings wished, and from them, matter came to be. The three living things wished, and from them, spirit came to be. The world created, the Original One took to unyielding sleep…
Art dump of my art over the past months. some date by a lot, some were done like. this very week. I finally sketched cross, and while I’m not happy enough with it to finish it, I do like it. Then there’s some idol AU stuff for balder and hades, my ocs being cute dorks (gotta love orion and elios), rosy being frollo and wishing she could get tali, vart and rosy as seasons (varteres being autumn and rosy being winter. Alice and sage are in on it too, respectively being summer and spring., but I haven’t drawn them yet) and garnet for the gem project I started doing but never finished because it got so little attention I lost interest lol
my best friend, lover and true soul mate, I really loved you with every fiber
of my being. I wish that we met earlier in my life because you proved to me
that men can be good. I love you my love.
The black flame is always hard to
master. Death. Entropy. None of that is a one-way street, or a dead
end. And it is not a flame, but you’ve learned enough by now to
know that is true. All magic is magic, and the old wars over colours
and types, even of fire against light and darkness: all of it is
nonsense. Magic is a tool, and tools have no morality to them. But
even so, some things are far easier with some magics than with
others, just as some weapons are better for different tasks.
You haven’t slept in two days.
Neither did I when I was your age. The magic fresh and new, the
desire for more a pressure
against the world. The knowledge as cruel as winter that reality is
never what you thought it was. The difference between being awake and
being aware, so you wish to be aware all the time. This isn’t about
that. A magician must push against boundaries or they are confined in
turn. Walls must be doors, and windows made to see other scenes. And
doors are doors, always and ever.
realize that so soon. I was at once impressed with your reasoning,
and what you tried. The white flame, to speak across worlds. To
summon, to compel. You failed, of course, and
you passed out. Next time you might push so hard, spend so much
energy that you drop dead where you stand. Others have. No one has
mastered the white flame in Sixty years, three months and four days.
You are aware. Perception over sight. You see it? My right hand, the
white that winter wishes it was.
the last to use the white flame. There are limits to magic. Of will,
of intent, of the power of a magician, of the energy they can call.
The white flame could get you beyond that. Call things into the world
to aid you. Speak through the fire to creatures that were never meant
to want any of the six kingdoms, or even the lands beyond. Yes, even
Shardith across the lost waters. All the great magicians used the
white flame, you understand: it was the only way to surpass
the bargains. Oh, they were cruel and never kind. And I was young, as
magicians reckon both years and power. I told you I trained with
Feria, and this is true. But before then it was Umar. Yes, that Umar.
He was my master, I an apprentice. There
were only four of us not slaved to his will, and none of us saw him
truly until it was too late. The others we took as servants had all
been apprentices once, each broken and shattered by his magics. He
had a way, you see, to make others pay the price of is magics.
it took power, and more power each time, and the eight kingdoms –
there were eight, yes, before his fall – had only so many
magicians, so many apprentices. Only so much potential. We were among
the last who had real power, and he was desperate to find a new way
to avoid paying the debts of centuries back. I saw what he was by
mistake, when he took one of the others. He wiped our minds, of
course, the green magic burning like a sun, but somehow I resisted.
Perhaps because I had used the green earlier than day, or the black
not an hour ago to chastise a servant.
yes. There were reasons why we were his favoured apprentices. They
are not good reasons, my son. There are places where no one speaks my
name, even today. Umar did
not realize I had resisted. I retreated to my rooms, called up the
white fire and spoke across it. Needing an ally. Requiring a force
that could defeat him. The size of the flame generally determined the
size of what came through, and making mine as large as I was took
everything I had. But I was scared, and desperate.
younger than I was. I knew that the moment he stepped through the
flame. I knew he was twenty and one years of age, a full three
younger than I that day. And I knew nothing else. My magic told me he
was devoid of power, without even a touch of magic to him, and yet he
had heard me and come. I told him my name, he told me his true one.
And asked me mine after, soft. And I told him my true name. I didn’t
mean to. But his voice, his eyes: there was something about him. I
married your mother because her smile reminded me of him, just a
won’t do at all,” he said. And he said my name and true name at
once, in a way no one ever will again. I saw everything I could be,
everything I was. What would be, what never was, what I could change
and what I must change or he would depart. There was no threat, you
understand. It was simply a fact.
would do anything to defeat Umar,” I said.
said: “Would you?”
have put all my power into the flame. He will know this. He will
come, and I am doomed.”
not summon Umar. I had no power left in me for that, even as Umar
eradicated my wards and entered my casting chamber.
entity I had called smiled then, and he was no longer a stranger at
all. Umar screamed. I have never heard such terror in a voice before
and pray to all the gods that I never will again. He worked magics I
barely understood. Drew power from the living and the dead at once.
The walls fell away, the room became a sun, an ocean, the wind
between the worlds. He wreaked terrible magics and the – my friend
– he just stood. Calm, untouched.
made bargains,” he said softly, once Umar’s magic was spent. And
even it was. A day at least had passed, that much I knew. I told you:
he drew magic from so many. No one else could maintain magic for that
long, at any cost. And he had used almost all of it in desperate
unbindings. He had broken my fire easily, but my friend had not left.
Just stood, untouched, quiet until this moment.
know nothing,” Umar spat.
friend called Umar by his true name then, which I will not tell
anyone else on any side of death. And Umar fell back. Paled and fell
back, stumbling over his own feet. He had fallen back from nothing in
so long that his body barely knew what to do.
friend nodded, once. He made no gesture. Raised no power. Just that,
and Umar screamed and called entities whose names no one living now
knows. Nothing came. No white fire burned, no terrible forces rose.
magic would destroy your world; I’ve made sure it cannot,” my
What have you done?” Umar said to me, and he looked at me with a
terror I hope to never see again.
didn’t understand it, not for a few moments. And then I turned to
my friend even as Umar fled the room. “What are you?”
told you,” he said gently.
name isn’t a – a what,” I protested.
it is. Everyone here will
need help,” he added.
that the price you demand?” I snapped that, I confess, in my
just looked at me and sighed. “We are not bound,” he said softly.
“You asked for aid, and I was near so I came. There is no price.”
from you,” I said.
nodded again, and was gone a moment later.
to leave, but there were – hundreds, you understand. Those Umar had
controlled, free and half-mad. So many broken magicians, so many
reduced to nothing. I had my power still, even without the white
flame. But some of them knew me, and others – others I had hurt,
thinking them no more than chattel. I healed what I could, in Umar’s
tower. It was where Feria found me, and she took me under her wing.
healed by her, as I had healed others. Enough to sleep in peace most
white flame is gone from the world, because all it would do in the
end is making awful magicians so much worse. Too many of those who
waited beyond the flame hungered in ways not like us at all. And my
friend? I know he will come if I call his name. I don’t need fire,
not for him. I don’t think anyone ever did.
still don’t know what he is, but if you continue to grow, if you
learn as I learned, perhaps you will be by my side when I call my
friend back to this world. Not to restore the flame, no. But to learn
if I have succeeded. To learn if I have been worthy of his smile.
So, I’ve been sitting on this for a while, and well, it’s time I bring it to the forefront. The mun of this blog is, indeed Michi/Mochi, who used to run Vega (maatador/torxador) and Integra (teaxtobacco). I’m sure some of you all suspected. When I left, I was in a very, VERY unhealthy state of mind, and I certainly felt I was in a downward spiral I couldn’t come out of and I just let things build to a boiling point before I finally snapped. I have, indeed, sat down with a couple people and cleared the air, and I am working on correcting some very egregious wrongs.
…and I’m very tired of hiding.
That being said, if you wish to unfollow or no longer interact with me, that is wholly up to you, and I will in no way shape or form hold it against you. I am drastically a different person than when I left, and I spent the last number of months cleaning up my life, seeking help, and otherwise doing some inner soul searching. I have a wonderful job, am taking very fulfilling classes, and am dating the sweetest man I have ever had the privilege of meeting. I can honestly say I now have that sense of self I was missing and no longer need anyone’s approval.
The only thing I want to note is that reason I have left is not, and never will be, up for discussion. Picking at a healed wound and otherwise injecting drama into this community is not something I have an interest in doing. But, on the flip side, this means I can go back to a very flowery writing style riddled with em-dashes without anyone cocking an eyebrow.
So here’s to the future. Let’s make it a good one.
Another ideal sculpted frame.
Oh yeah, oh yeah he killed the only the ends.
As a face that hangs from the sun set on top of its the petals from the broken backed stretch across the pitch of failure my horizon.
So we dance, we whisper to live so temporary.
Don’t leave behind.
If only live so far and flame which coils underneath, a chord torn during our beings.
Just can’t see what i’ve lost all spirits mingling in the bathos drift forth like the sun sets, a dying breath of his weight bearing back breaking, alter the life from the poem.
Only in accident entranced, we are searching for.
Shout out to those who came out and were shunned by those closest to them for just being who they are.
Shout out to those who came out and were forced back into the closet.
Shout out to those who couldn’t come out.
Shout out to those who aren’t ready to come out.
Shout out to those who are too afraid to come out.
Shout out to those who were forced into coming out.
Shout out to those who were outed by someone they trusted.
Shout out to those who must keep quiet on this day.
Shout out to those who didn’t come out.
I’m so, so proud of you.
You are valid. You have the right to keep your private life private. You are NOT obligated to come out if you are uncomfortable. You are NOT obligated to be transparent to family or friends. You are NOT obligated to risk your safety to be ‘brave’. You are NOT lying. You are NOT cowardly.
This is personal. This is YOUR decision. No one has the right to tell you or make you feel otherwise about how to be who you are.
Your survival and sanity should come before compliance, and that’s OK.
Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on so much just because of being who you are and not someone else? Whenever I see a beautiful girl I wonder how it must feel to be that beautiful and if I’ll ever feel like that. Or when I see someone who’s confident and extroverted and I imagine how nice and easy it must be to be that way. Or when I see someone that’s my age who has already accomplished so much or been in so many places and experienced so many things, I can’t help but feel like time is falling from my hands like sand and I’m not getting better or going anywhere. I grew up watching movies and reading stories that made me believe that life was supposed to be constantly exciting and I haven’t felt that way many times and I just feel so stuck being myself. I wish I could be someone else for a while.
“It’s the fact that I could become a part of GOT7. Since I passed the audition, I had spent only 7 months as a trainee and then was immediately added to the members of GOT7 in order to begin the preparation routine for our debut. Up to that time I had never danced once in my life, so it was very hard to keep up with other members who had been preparing for the debut since a long time ago. That’s why I feel really lucky to be as I’m now - being able to do activities as a member of GOT7” - Choi Youngjae