I’m hoping that “Todd doesn’t believe in anything even remotely supernatural” turns into a good-natured ongoing joke within the mystery squad. I mean, the burned cinnamon roll is always going to be a skeptic and quite rightly so, it’s a valuable trait and lord know Dirk Gently needs someone around to ask critical questions when necessary.

But I really want to see Todd fist-fighting Bigfoot in the middle of a time vortex because a tarot reader told him via ouiji board that he had to protect the magic healing crystals bestowed upon humanity by benevolent aliens, and Dirk’s still asking “do you believe me now?” with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Facts about Nimue~
  • She has been the reigning Queen since her father died about 2,000 years ago.
  • She has five daughters and five sons, but no husband. He was captured and murdered by pirates before she became the Queen. Now she swears vengeance on most sailors and only spares them if she deems them useful to her, girl can hold a grudge. 
  • She has gotten to the point where she is tired of being a myth and has plans to make her presence known to people who walk on land. 
  • Nim has a special group of mermaids who specialize in turning other people into mermaids. They even experiment with other types of fish fins. So there might be a few mermaids with shark tails.
  • She is beloved by her kingdom despite being ruthless and stubborn. Her people get to see her more benevolent side. 
  • When people on land acknowledge her as the Queen is makes her more inclined to spare their lives. 
  • She has hunters patrol her waters at all times to take down unwelcome ships and bring back prisoners/food. They are all female because sailors are easily entranced by their singing voice and thus makes the ship easy to overcome.
  • She is much like a shaman in the way she controls water, earth, wind, and storms. She’s been known to create massive tidal waves to sink ships.

tagged by: @loveherdekay <3

tagging: @the-news-nerd @offrostboltsandflexibilty @hidden-in-waves @kurirenharmon @deepest-ocean @mercymage @stewardoftheseas @frostbitebird @fel-sworn @tyrolan 

Listen Harry could charge an outrageous price for his tickets knowing people would pay it and he could keep all the profits and buy more candles and rings for himself but he’s out here doing these amazing small shows for the fans, charging next to nothing for them so most everyone could afford it, and donating that money to local nonprofits. I love my generous and benevolent moon prince.

shout-out to the benevolent muscle men from mob psycho 100

when mob joined the body-building club, it felt like his presence there was gonna be a punchline, but the benevolent muscle men took him in with open (burly) arms. they’ve never made fun of him nor bullied him nor teased him for being so physically weak… they’ve always treated him as an equal and looked out for him and protected him and cheer him on as he grows… they don’t even pick on the nerds in their equipment classroom. thank you, benevolent muscle men. thank you for your kindness, patience, and sportsmanship.

scutellatebooted  asked:

Hi Doc! Love reading your blog, I found you first through the Lucifer story (reminded me of a friend of mine actually) and then again through your mermaid post and have been hanging around ever since. I looked thru your archive but didn't find this question so hopefully it hasn't been asked before: what is it about horse anatomy that makes their legs so (seemingly) fragile? You'd think being as big as they are, they'd be more all-around solid. Thanks for reading, have a good one!

The horse, Equus caballus, is one of my favorite arguments against Intelligent Design. I’ve spoken before about why I no longer see them, but even as a student I would wonder why and how this species existed when there were apparently so many things that could go wrong with its own anatomy, especially next to something tough like a trusty cow.

I don’t know how it’s possible to believe in a benevolent, loving, wise creator when creatures like the horse come to exist.

So I’m going to use your question as an excuse to write a post that had been on my mind for a while:

Things That Are Wrong With Horses

The basic structure of a horse has a few significant design flaws.

  1. Cannot vomit. This means that anything which would make another species sick enough to vomit results in a horse getting s distended stomach and colic, where the stomach can rupture and the horse can die. Also means symptoms of illness are hidden longer
  2. The large bowel (hind gut) of the horse is fricking huge, but can actually displace itself and bend around the wrong way, resulting in obstruction, colic and death without surgical intervention. This can commonly happen after exertion (splenic contraction) and giving birth. Colic due to nephrosplenic entrapment is particularly common after the horse has an adrenaline release, which causes the spleen to temporarily contract, and this seems like a poor design to risk death every time you spook or go for a fast run, especially in a species known for spooking and running fast.
  3. Giving birth is a fast and explosive affair in the horse. The whole pushing business should be over and  done with in about 20 minutes, however this assumes that everything is lined up just right for a normal delivery. Foals are all long legs and necks, which are easy to get tangled or bent around the wrong way. A mare is strong enough to push her foal’s feet through her uterine wall, which is death all round.
  4. Speaking of strength, sometimes horses will kick each other when they have attitude, and they can do so with enough strength to rupture each other’s spleens.
  5. When galloping most horses, best studied in thoroughbreds because they are made to gallop on a regular basis, horses routinely bash their diaphragm with such force against their liver that their liver bruises.
  6. Galloping also often makes their lungs bleed. That’s why racehorses have their head held up after a race, so you don’t see any blood come out their nose and disqualify them. Even horses that you don’t see bleed have evidence of pulmonary bleeding after a gallop if you scope them.
  7. Their leg bones are actually pretty damn tough, but the ends are spindly little things compared to the mass of musculature up top. Their legs are subjected to huge biomechanical forces when a horse runs which can often subject them to ligament damage and lameness. A fractured leg bone can heal like any other, but if a horse can’t bear weight evenly on all four legs for an extended period of time (eg after a fracture) then they are at risk of laminitis.
  8. Laminitis can cause the hoof to slough off. (Aaargh!) They can also get laminitis from eating a bit too well.
  9. Speaking of eating, they can also get colic (and risk death) from eating not enough fiber or the wrong sort of plants or from eating too much dirt.
  10. Oh, and just to mess with you, horses have a space in their head called a guttural pouch which seems to exist for no other reason as far as I can tell (okay, maybe it’s about heat regulation) other than to get fungal infections that eat through the exposed artery and cause the horse to die from blood loss through it’s nose.

And Bonus: Exquisite sensitivity to tetanus and vulnerability to Hendravirus

This list is by no means complete. I haven’t even touched on their anesthetics or drug reactions, but it’s a simple start.

I’m truly baffled by people who react so negatively to news of others trying to make things easier or better. Especially when their reasoning is that THEY did it the hard way, the real way, they worked three jobs and never got any help and suffered (oh god did they suffer)

I mean, god, you’d think someone who walked fifteen miles to school uphill both ways in the snow would be the first to advocate for a bus route

Does anyone else think about what Viktor’s face must have looked like as he watched his fiance, the love of his life, his beautiful Yuuri, do the opening steps to Stammi Vicino? Stammi Vicino, which was Viktor’s lament to his own loneliness and, ironically, the very thing that brought them together? Do you ever think about Viktor standing there, waiting to go on, watching the man he loves in this beautiful jewel blue costume raise a hand to the sky, melancholy and painfully gorgeous. They are about to make figure skating history together and all Viktor can think about is the color of Yuuri’s hair in the blue light. Do you ever think about Viktor looking down at his ring and realizing that something good must have been watching this program when he did it alone, something powerful and benevolent, because his prayers have been answered in the best way he can possibly imagine.

Because I do. I think about that a lot.

Day One Hundred and Twenty

-A woman in her forties thanked me for carding her, saying that I gave her a reason to smile and made her entire week. My reasoning for this was that our computers have changed and we now must have a physical ID to progress with the purchase, but I am happy to take credit for this accidental good deed.

-A British man came through my lane and, upon leaving, said, “Buh-bye.” I have now determined this to be the greatest accent to say this phrase in, and the greatest phrase to say in general.

-My register crashed in the midst of paying for a $250+ transaction consisting of dozens of small-ticket items. I went to the adjacent register to ring it up again, yet this register shut down on me as well. This misadventure came in the middle of hours of guests berating and shouting at me for a number of things well beyond my control. If either God or Karma exists, I am looking forward to a good payout in return for surviving this day.

-As a reward for stopping a newborn from committing shoplifting, I was granted a free Starbucks drink. Today being payday be damned, this is the most gratifying part of my week and I am all for this brand of instant gratification for shutting down infant heists.

-A woman purchased a picture frame with a stock photo of a beagle pup leaning out of a car window with just the tiniest bit of tongue hanging out. This is undoubtedly the worst possible selection for use in any picture frame being sold. The purpose of the stock photo is for it to be replaced, but now not a soul in their right mind ever will do so.

-An abandoned origami dollar bill has been left in my till, identical to one a mysterious, benevolent guest left me weeks ago. I have just missed my friend. I am devastated.

-A mother asked her child if they wanted a sticker. After a long and thoughtful pause, they ultimately landed on a no. I am unsure of what factors this toddler was weighing, but I urge them to reconsider.

-A man in his late thirties slid into my lane at turbo speed, skittering to a halt on the medical scooter he and his injured leg were mounted on. Such a move would have been made thricely glamorous were there the sound of screeching brakes to accompany it; luckily, this man came with his own effects, supplying exactly this for me. He purchased only a bicycle bell for his new primary method of transportation and took it without a bag, eager to begin a life wherein everyone is entirely aware of his presence anytime he is in the vicinity. His leg may be broken, but his spirit never will be.

harry being interviewed for the first time post-1D by none other than one of his best friends… the person who’s been there for every event of Harry’s life for the past 6 years… the person that metaphorically and also literally held Harry’s hand through that first year of worldwide fame. made him feel welcome and cared for and gave him a little safe haven he could go to whenever he needed to feel grounded and drop the Styles™. it means so much to me knowing that harry has people in his life who love him and care about him and are 100% there for him and his success. people who won’t start treating him as “former boyband member harry styles” as soon as he walks into the room but who will respect him and give him the room he needs and deserves (and hasn’t really been given these past 6 years) to properly express himself and voice his thoughts and share his insights into his music and his career and anything and everything that moves and inspires him. harry styles is deserving of every ounce of happiness this world has to offer and i’m very grateful that he has been lucky enough to find little bits and pieces of said happiness residing within those closest to him. 

With hindsight, Matthew Mercer is terrifying.  An hour into episode 14, Vax asks to insight check “everyone at the table” in council. Mercer comes back with “quick rising in tension, fear, and adrenaline… fear is the main thing you’re getting.  The stakes have just suddenly jumped for what they expected their morning to be, and they’re trying to wrap their head around it.“

Which applies fine to the rest of the council trying to deal with Sudden Evil Artifact, but at the same time, Percy’s sitting there processing the word “Briarwood.”  (And as per usual Taliesin Jaffe’s face is murdering my heart.)

I mean, if over the course of eleventeen rounds of editing, I had managed to write something with such a perfectly terrible double meaning, I’d be smug for a week.  Mercer improvised it live.  With a straight face.


Mark | Smut | Completed

Requested by this anon

Warnings: Age Gap, Oppa!Kink, Virgin!Reader, Childhood Friends, and Fingering/Hands!Kink

A/N: I don’t want to offend anyone with the use of “Oppa” in this one-shot. Personally, I just feel Mark would have one. I hope you can enjoy.

I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t believe it.

He wasn’t supposed to be back for another month, yet here he was, outside my door, waiting to enter.

“Mark?” I asked, rather gruffly, still gawking over the fact that he was actually here.

“Hello,” he smiled, showing off his pearly, white teeth.

Keep reading

Iconic™ Kaz Brekker Moments

-’Kaz was just glad he used the damn door.”

-“You can put him in a coffeepot for all I care.”

-”Even worse, if I fail, I don’t get paid.”

-”You might actually have had to uncurl that lip and treat me with something closer to respect.”

-Ripping Oomen’s eyeball out and shoving his handkerchief in the socket.

-”I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”

-”Hold the book up so we don’t have to look at your ugly face.” (Kaz, be nice to Jesper)

-Nina: “And I can tell you’ve never given enough thought to your haircut.”

Kaz: *runs a self-conscious hand through his hair*

(only Nina. Only Nina can make Kaz in to a seventeen year old, concerned about his haircut)

-”Jacob fucking Hertzoon”

-Talking tree jokes??????

-Matthias: “We go from aspirant to novice drüskelle in the ceremony at the sacred ash.”

Kaz: “Where the tree talks to you.”

-Kaz: “The Dregs need a better initiation (I’m over here wondering what the Dregs’ initiation is)”

Matthias: This is only one part of Hringkälla.”

Kaz: “Yes, I know, then the tree tells you the secret handshake.”

-”Of course you don’t [like speculation]. You like things you can see. Like piles of snow and benevolent tree gods.”

-Or you were dead wrong about Matthias and you’re going to pay for all those talking tree jokes

-’They blew up the lab. I definitely did not tell them to blow up the lab.’

Okay but quick hc

Gavin and Michael (or Ryan or Lil J) “playing” gladiators, with Gavin as the emperor. 

Michael’s got some poor sap beaten and broken on the ground, begging for his life, and he just looks over to his boi with the sharpest, nastiest grin. Gavin’s got his thumb out, facing to the side, and you can see Michael practically vibrating with excitement as he waits for Gavin’s judgement. The victim is sniveling on the ground, grasping at the hem of Michael’s jeans with bloody hands and pleading pathetically as though that could save him. And maybe it could, at another time. Michael lives for the fight but is less fussed about the ending, as long as he wins. But when Gavin’s thumb tips to point groundward, head shaking slow in mock disappointment, there is nothing in heaven or hell that could save that unfortunate son of a bitch.